... Seems to be a problem with me. A lot of women get turned off by my vernacular. The fact I just used vernacular in a sentence turns them off. So a quite a few times I end up dumbing down conversations for a lot of females. The results are pretty satisifactory. I just was wondering if this is something anyone else lives with?
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Ever find yourself dumbing down your conversation with women?
- Thread starter Willco
- Start date
- Status
Error Macro
Member
Yeah, it just seems like a lot of people in general that I have to water down the intelligence of my phrases when I speak. Seems that they don't understand... words. Although I must say that I'm much more apt to compensate for a good looking female than a guy. Some are just incredulous, though. When you are talking to some chick, being careful to speak plainly and with very little for their poor brains to have to understand, and they still have a blank look on their faces when they are listening to you... Well it's time to bail out.
Most girls i do, even guys. There is however this one girl i don't have to, which is great. The problem is that my vocabulary used to be far more expansive during my final years of high school that it is now. Probably because ive had to dumb down for the last few years that ive just become accustomed to it.
It scares me when i can no longer find a word that i need to properly express myself in conversations these days.
It scares me when i can no longer find a word that i need to properly express myself in conversations these days.
I don't even bother with guys who have problems understanding me, but I will forsake my vocabulary for "the greater cause".
There's a girl right now that I'm just friends with that I don't have to do this to (miraculously), but I don't think it'll ever be much more than that. And that's a shame.
There's a girl right now that I'm just friends with that I don't have to do this to (miraculously), but I don't think it'll ever be much more than that. And that's a shame.
The Shadow
Member
Mr Gump said:
Same with me. Back then, once or twice someone would mention my vocabulary. If I remember correctly, someone even said I sound like a robot, in the sense that I'd use words they've never heard of but were in fact real words.
My vocabulary has dwindled considerably but it's for the best IMO. I very much had the "Denis Miller" effect back then. I'd say something and very few people would understand what the fuck I was saying.
AlphaSnake
...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
I will now post an excerpt of a conversation that went on between my ex-girlfriend's sister and I when my ex and I were fighting:
Stupid bitch: yo
SniperHunter2001: who's this?
Stupid bitch: who do you think you are askin my sister whre she was tonight?
SniperHunter2001: i wasn't asking her to be interrogative
Stupid bitch: what?!?!? speak english
Stupid bitch: yo
SniperHunter2001: who's this?
Stupid bitch: who do you think you are askin my sister whre she was tonight?
SniperHunter2001: i wasn't asking her to be interrogative
Stupid bitch: what?!?!? speak english
D
Deleted member 1235
Unconfirmed Member
AlphaSnake said:
That's great, shes mad and treating you like you're stupid.
Vernacular generally means "everyday speech that is accessible to the common man".....which is more-or-less the opposite of what you're talking about (diction that is highbrow). Mangling definitions as you have here will make girls view you as mornically pedantic. Use terms properly and see if that turns 'em on.Willco said:
Mike Works
Member
I never dumb down my dialogue, and I often act exactly the same as I would around my buddies. Works fine.
Sometimes.
Sometimes.
RevenantKioku
PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS oh god i am drowning in them
Talking to a woman who knows I've been sick the past few days:
"Take that, sickness!"
"I will not take your sickness."
Sigh.
Then again I'm not a very coherent or logical person in my speakings. So take that my self pride!
"Take that, sickness!"
"I will not take your sickness."
Sigh.
Then again I'm not a very coherent or logical person in my speakings. So take that my self pride!
It would help if you know how to communicate what you're saying, that's your first problem. >.< Additionally, you're probably hanging out with the wrong women... or you just don't know what you're talking about. ^_~ I have no trouble communicating intelligently with my female friends, especially since we like to discuss broad topics like politics, theoretical physics, philosophy, religion, etc. Look elsewhere. =)
Brian Fellows
Pete Carroll Owns Me
Yes and i'm not even that smart.
I'm thinking correct word this is not! No wonder they looked at you like that Error.
Seriously though, (and I'm not referring to anyone in particular) it's one thing for some people to be dumb, but conversely there's nothing worse than vocab-wankers who try and use all their biggest words to impress people and only end up obfuscating the conversation in the process.
Edit - it might be right:
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=incredulous
1. Skeptical; disbelieving: incredulous of stories about flying saucers.
2. Expressive of disbelief: an incredulous stare.
I always used it in the 2nd context but it looks like you might be able to do it Errors way as well.
Seriously though, (and I'm not referring to anyone in particular) it's one thing for some people to be dumb, but conversely there's nothing worse than vocab-wankers who try and use all their biggest words to impress people and only end up obfuscating the conversation in the process.
Edit - it might be right:
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=incredulous
1. Skeptical; disbelieving: incredulous of stories about flying saucers.
2. Expressive of disbelief: an incredulous stare.
I always used it in the 2nd context but it looks like you might be able to do it Errors way as well.
={<SMOKE>}=
Member
maybe i should try this?
Vocabulary-wise...no, I don't have that problem. My vocab's shit anyway; my most used word in real life is probably "fuck". lol
Edit: Having said that, I think the better word would be "oblivious" in Error Macro's post, rather than "incredulous." [/nitpick]
Content-wise, I do find myself dumbing myself down to most people, unfortunately. When it comes to the sort of things that I could talk for hours about (music, for example), I say maybe a sentence or two, to keep from scaring someone off, and have them thinking I'm a snob, even when I don't really think I am. The internet is one place where I don't worry about this (as much).
Edit: Having said that, I think the better word would be "oblivious" in Error Macro's post, rather than "incredulous." [/nitpick]
Content-wise, I do find myself dumbing myself down to most people, unfortunately. When it comes to the sort of things that I could talk for hours about (music, for example), I say maybe a sentence or two, to keep from scaring someone off, and have them thinking I'm a snob, even when I don't really think I am.
The internet is one place where I don't worry about this (as much).
SonicMegaDrive
Member
Any woman who cannot keep up with me is not worth my time.
={<SMOKE>}=
Member
in response to kablooey:
that's the thing i enjoy most about the internet. it's great for people like me who feel they don't have the opportunity to fully express themselves in their social life.
that's the thing i enjoy most about the internet. it's great for people like me who feel they don't have the opportunity to fully express themselves in their social life.
Yeah, i do it often. Funny thing is i know she doesnt have too big vocabulary but she's the one who tries using bigger words and uses them completely wrong when she does. But this is just one of many problems with her.
Imagine an ex gf who broke up with you. Became for a while a friend with benefits. You move like a half hour away from her. You never snap on her so its shady good terms break up and a slowly dying friendship. Then the few times you even know she exists is when she's online and she tries to strike up a conversation with something like "hey you". We never had that good of conversations before even and liked each other because we got along great in person and just acted stupid. I dont even know what to say to her and the dumbing down stuff is still there. Then it brings me down even more to know that all we got.
I dont get it though. I could not see a guy friend for like a year and still bullshit with him and hang out and everythings cool. Think that fact that I always had to make sacrifices for a girl and treat her differently leaves me where I'm at now with her.
Imagine an ex gf who broke up with you. Became for a while a friend with benefits. You move like a half hour away from her. You never snap on her so its shady good terms break up and a slowly dying friendship. Then the few times you even know she exists is when she's online and she tries to strike up a conversation with something like "hey you". We never had that good of conversations before even and liked each other because we got along great in person and just acted stupid. I dont even know what to say to her and the dumbing down stuff is still there. Then it brings me down even more to know that all we got.
I dont get it though. I could not see a guy friend for like a year and still bullshit with him and hang out and everythings cool. Think that fact that I always had to make sacrifices for a girl and treat her differently leaves me where I'm at now with her.
={<SMOKE>}= said:
Yeah, I completely agree on that.
Usually, I feel like I actually have the time to make my jumbled thoughts into something that's relatively coherent; something I don't have the luxury of doing in real-life most of the time...I will not take your self pride. :|
( lol )
Dice
Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
A blank stare usually represents nothing registering at all (seems like the context in which it was spoken), an incredulous look is something more like a slightly raised eyebrow and their head a bit taken back, almost sarcastic looking. Perhaps he meant incurious, that would be closer.
My girlfriend is a psych major, I'm the one that gets stumped. During IM conversations it's easy to use dictionary.com when she asks deep questions like what 3 emotions are the most important to me in life. The questions themselves are simple, but her reactions to my responses can get quirky. In normal conversation it gets tough because I have nothing to fall back on except looking like an ass.
RaymondCarver
Member
Dennis Miller is my hero.
I can distinctly remember (now that I think of it) idolizing and having friends (even way back in high school, circa '97) who seemed to have Miller's personality and extreme wit. I love it. I love being like that.
I understand that sometimes I must dumb down what I say, but I'll just as equally throw flaming verbal curveballs that bewilder average Joe and Jane. The truth is to remember, folks, that there is such a thing as gauging your audience, but don't always restrict yourself to making conversational vocabulary simple for the sake of others. Withholding information (detail) keeps people ignorant, and constantly censoring one's self for the sake of others would lead to a crowd of ignorant people to speak to. I say all this to lead up to the nicest way that I can say it: If they don't know, fuck em. Maybe I'm just with Raoul Duke here in having a balding, padded but not quite carbo-toadie, a pasty physique and not caring what my words to in keeping ladies around, but I'll be damned if I'm going to censor my real thoughts. Generally, the women that keep my company come to appreciate that I can bring something to the table to flavor the conversation. It could just be a personal preference, but if I'm trying to attract a mate for the long haul, I'd rather her not be an air head who never takes a stab at a finer, more examined life. Folks, it's really easy to live in ignorance and denial. People do it day after day, but if you're going to make the world a better place for yourself and the company you keep, just let people get to know the real you, and you'll do yourself a favor. [Insert important historical facts] + [make more witty comments] + [social commentary] + [blanket statement "Or maybe that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.
I can distinctly remember (now that I think of it) idolizing and having friends (even way back in high school, circa '97) who seemed to have Miller's personality and extreme wit. I love it. I love being like that.
I understand that sometimes I must dumb down what I say, but I'll just as equally throw flaming verbal curveballs that bewilder average Joe and Jane. The truth is to remember, folks, that there is such a thing as gauging your audience, but don't always restrict yourself to making conversational vocabulary simple for the sake of others. Withholding information (detail) keeps people ignorant, and constantly censoring one's self for the sake of others would lead to a crowd of ignorant people to speak to. I say all this to lead up to the nicest way that I can say it: If they don't know, fuck em. Maybe I'm just with Raoul Duke here in having a balding, padded but not quite carbo-toadie, a pasty physique and not caring what my words to in keeping ladies around, but I'll be damned if I'm going to censor my real thoughts. Generally, the women that keep my company come to appreciate that I can bring something to the table to flavor the conversation. It could just be a personal preference, but if I'm trying to attract a mate for the long haul, I'd rather her not be an air head who never takes a stab at a finer, more examined life. Folks, it's really easy to live in ignorance and denial. People do it day after day, but if you're going to make the world a better place for yourself and the company you keep, just let people get to know the real you, and you'll do yourself a favor. [Insert important historical facts] + [make more witty comments] + [social commentary] + [blanket statement "Or maybe that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.
MrPing1000
Member
just my mother
Last time I had to dumb down my conversation with somebody was when I spent a night partying with some guys in their early 20's... But they were, lets say it politely, not very intelligent. Example:
Talking about videogames:
Younger guy- GC is hte s***.
Me- Why exactly?
Y g- Can you fuck a whore in a GC game? Can you?? I tell ya, it's hte s***.
The conversation ended shortly after that.
Talking about videogames:
Younger guy- GC is hte s***.
Me- Why exactly?
Y g- Can you fuck a whore in a GC game? Can you?? I tell ya, it's hte s***.
The conversation ended shortly after that.
No, if people don't understand what I am saying to them, I don't bother with them.
I do have a girlfriend, but I have very few normal friends. This may be one of the reasons. I don't care, though -- I'd rather have fewer friends than associate with people who require me to constantly check my vocabulary and make sure I'm speaking with a limited number of syllables.
I do have a girlfriend, but I have very few normal friends. This may be one of the reasons.
I don't care, though -- I'd rather have fewer friends than associate with people who require me to constantly check my vocabulary and make sure I'm speaking with a limited number of syllables.Yup, dumb-down to everyone. Most people have very limited vocabs. Mine isn't all that great but it's still much better than your average person. Most people on here have vocabs superior to the common man. It's weird, but online forums are some of the few chances I get to use most of these words. PEACE.
Drinky Crow
Banned
If by women you mean this forum, then yes.
I use really big words and concepts when I talk to my wife because she understands them. Here, I just say "fuck" a lot.
I use really big words and concepts when I talk to my wife because she understands them. Here, I just say "fuck" a lot.
The Black Gelding
Banned
I know exactly what you mean... it really is a big problem.
- Status