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[old manatee]

It was probably them tbh. I can't think of any three people who I would want to sleep with at the same time.

 

[Poor GRIMES]

yes?

Okay... so? How does this make the OP the bad guy here? Because his girlfriend was having fun and he didn’t feel comfortable, then he had to compromise and “suck it up” for everyone else to have fun?

 

[_Ryo_]

Either you're not comfortable having sex with other people in the room or it's the alcohol. Probably the alcohol.

 

[Slythe]

Gonna suggest something different then most the posts here, although whiskey dick is a probable choice.

Emotions man. They matter. Sometimes if you aren’t emotionally set with the person or situations to have sex your body knows. Even if there is a 10/10 standing in front of you, sometimes your body just won’t do the trick. Sounds like your body was ready to go for a minute (because she was attractive), then your brain caught up and was like, I’m not feeling this... bailout.

I don't know if it's funny or sad that it took to the end of page 2 for someone to bring this up, but I concur. This is a very real factor.

 

[NoblesseOblige]

Pretty shitty to make them stop out of "fairness".

No it's not. The absolute worst thing he could have done was had things continue if he wasn't feeling it. That's infinitely more likely to strain a relationship through potential jealousy or a number of other negative emotions. He paused it and everyone seemed cool and understanding from the info in the OP. There's nothing 'shitty' about that.

 

[Angry Grimace]

I have to admit that I understand that horrible sinking feeling when you realize you've whisky dick and it's not going to happen and you're mentally like "fuck how am I going to explain this shit."

 

[Shredderi]

yes?

He didn't "say" it. It was the reason for him saying that he thinks they should stop.

 

[electroshockwave]

Gonna suggest something different then most the posts here, although whiskey dick is a probable choice.

Emotions man. They matter. Sometimes if you aren’t emotionally set with the person or situations to have sex your body knows. Even if there is a 10/10 standing in front of you, sometimes your body just won’t do the trick. Sounds like your body was ready to go for a minute (because she was attractive), then your brain caught up and was like, I’m not feeling this... bailout.

Yeah, I think it's emotional/mental too based on him initially being able to get it up.

 

[TheContact]

Could the alcohol or some kind of subconscious feeling of letting some other guy have sex with your gf of 5 years. If you’re truly cool with that then just try it again but drink less. A lot of times people over drink and can’t maintain an erect ion.

 

[Shredderi]

No it's not. The absolute worst thing he could have done was had things continue if he wasn't feeling it. That's infinitely more likely to strain a relationship through potential jealousy or a number of other negative emotions.

Thank you. Nice to see someone getting it. The guy is having and ego crisis and is feeling super down and then he's to be all mortified and watch another guy fuck the brains out of his girl? That's the kind of thing that leaves scars. That's how you do real damage and for absolutely no reason. It's a fleeting moment of sexual pleasure for everyone involved that doesn't even exist in the same plane as being worth it for all the aforementioned mental anguish it might cause. From how OP described it, it looks like his friends got that and were mature and cool about it.

 

[chugen]

He didn't "say" it. It was the reason for him saying that he thinks they should stop.

you think he just said to them "we should stop" and everyone just stopped and got dressed without op explaining to them why

 

[ThLunarian]

You folks shaming this guy for asking the others to stop should be ashamed of yourselves. If your spouse is not comfortable with a sexual act continuing then you stop IMMEDIATELY and there should never be any ill feelings about it. Group dynamics are more complicated than one on one situations, but trust is still paramount, and he had every right to ask for the brakes to be put on.

OP, I feel for you. If you guys give it another go, then I hope everything goes as you want it to.

 

[Shredderi]

you think he just said to them "we should stop" and everyone just stopped and got dressed without op explaining to them why

I think whatever OP says here instead of speculating. If OP clarifies that he indeed verbally voiced his reason as stated then of course I'll say "I stand corrected". But even if he did I don't see really anything wrong with it like the aforementioned posts above this explained rather well.

 

[Pai Pai Master]

It doesn't matter what anyone outside of that room thinks honestly. If OP wanted them to stop, and they agreed, then that's all that matters. They were recognizing him revoking his consent to continue.

 

[WaterAstro]

No one should feel excited or good with someone they aren't in a relationship with, but my ideals are pretty much dead these days.

 

[HawksWinStanley]

If nothing else, the other guy's girl should have taken care of him in that situation

Yeah but she was probably in a sex coma from the minutes of pleasure she got from OP mushing his soft wiener against her crotch.

 

[G-Bus]

More than likely nerves and too much alcohol.

You didn't have a problem the first time around so I'd assume all the booze is a factor here.

 

[NoblesseOblige]

you think he just said to them "we should stop" and everyone just stopped and got dressed without op explaining to them why

A reason doesn't need to be given, and anybody who is experienced in swinging or group sex should already be able to surmise what causes there are for him wanting to stop.

 

[Servbot24]

I decided that we all should stop since I was not having fun and I didn't think it was fair.

Why not just give the girl oral?

 

[Elegant Weapon]

It does literally happen to everyone every now and then, OP. Usually not with an audience though but sounds like your friends were cool about it

 

[OG Shaka Zulu]

Put the alcohol down and smoke weed instead. You had a case of whiskey dick.

Reminder, you have a tongue and fingers too bruh.

 

[innervision961]

Ok here’s the thing, this is 99% mental, if you’re fit and young. Sad thing is, it might happen again if you retry and it’s all you can think about....

Have you consider the possibility that maybe you aren’t comfortable sharing your SO and this isn’t for you?

 

[Shredderi]

People here seems to be missing the post where OP said he went down on the girl more than once.

Ok here's the thing, this is 99% mental, if you're fit and young. Sad thing is, it might happen again if you retry and it's all you can think about....

Have you consider the possibility that maybe you aren't comfortable sharing your SO and this isn't for you?

Also, this.

 

[Earthbound64]

Edit: n/m, discussed more on this page.

 

[t1gerjaw]

Jesus Christ guys, once again.

I did go down on the other girl, three times. I fingered her, even fucked her good for a few moments.

But there was a point where my mouth was really dry, I wasn't in the mood anymore and said that it was enough for me.

Everybody stopped and went to sleep.

 

[illusionspark]

I would not allow the fucking orgy to continue either if I wasn't feeling it. I don't understand why people think that's a no-no.

 

[tbm24]

You weren't having fun and decided that wasn't fair and that everyone should stop?
What?

It wasn't an orgy. There's a clear difference that the OP makes note of in the very beginning.

 

[Shredderi]

You weren't having fun and decided that wasn't fair and that everyone should stop?
What?

There are posts in this very page that quite well expains why it is not only ok, but important that OP stopped the show when he started feeling uncomfortable.

 

[otake]

Could be any of these three or a combination:

1. Too much alcohol.
2. Not into it.
3. You masturbated recently.

Honestly, if you're not into it, it's okay. Life isn't a porno movie. Not everyone wants to have foursomes or whatever.

 

[Lulubop]

Whenever I'm about to get it in but can't get it up I think about that scene in Space Jam where the Ref is like, "it's Show time Patrick" and I think to myself, it's Showtime Lulu. Works like 20 percent of the time, think about tho.

 

[Poor GRIMES]

Yeah but she was probably in a sex coma from the minutes of pleasure she got from OP mushing his soft wiener against her crotch.

You’re very cool and edgy brah

 

[Playsage]

Seriously, what's up with all the "should have let them fuck" responses?

 

[Snagret]

No one should feel excited or good with someone they aren't in a relationship with, but my ideals are pretty much dead these days.

This is kind of ridiculous.


Anyways, you did the right thing ending the situation if it was making you uncomfortable, op. It was probably just nerves and alcohol, I think as long as you still function well with your girlfriend you shouldn't worry about any "long-term implications" (because most likely there aren't any).

 

[Zeke]

Gonna suggest something different then most the posts here, although whiskey dick is a probable choice.

Emotions man. They matter. Sometimes if you aren’t emotionally set with the person or situations to have sex your body knows. Even if there is a 10/10 standing in front of you, sometimes your body just won’t do the trick. Sounds like your body was ready to go for a minute (because she was attractive), then your brain caught up and was like, I’m not feeling this... bailout.

Gonna agree with this. Also lol at people telling op he should have just sat there until his SO was done getting banged. Shits a lot easier to tell someone when its not your SO getting filled out and its not your mind getting fucked with. I'd also wager those same folks haven't engaged in partner swapping or watched their SO get railed in front of them. Don't really have any advice for you OP since this isn't my scene maybe try having seperate rooms so its more intimate.

 

[Abilidebob]

It's kind of hard to write about this

Reading your OP, I sincerely doubt that.

 

[McBryBry]

Like everyone said, too much booze. Hell I can have a day where I've drank 4 or 5 beers, end up sober and it still happens.

 

[Earthbound64]

It wasn't an orgy. There's a clear difference that the OP makes note of in the very beginning.

There are posts in this very page that quite well expains why it is not only ok, but important that OP stopped the show when he started feeling uncomfortable.

Sorry, I'll admit I had only read the first page / 100 posts where it hadn't really been discussed, and had missed that there had been discussion of it on this page. My fault.

 

[Hello? This is Hailun!]

It's kind of hard to write about this, but I'll try the best I can. English is not my first language, so please excuse any mistakes.
First I'm a 27 year old guy in a 5 year old relationship with my girlfriend, semi-fit, and non-smoker. I also don't take any depression or anxiety meds.
This year we started to get closer to couple who we've been friends for a long time. A few dinners, some flirting, drinking, and suddenly somebody suggested that we should do something more sexual.
Ok, everybody agreed, and we traded partners. The first time this happened we only went as far as a blowjob.
Skipping ahead a few weeks, last night we decided to get together again to drink and have some fun. We really didn't plan anything.

We bought a bottle of tequila, a few beers and snacks and started our night. The night went on and things started to get heated so we decided to go to bed.
That's when shit started to go wrong for me. I was hard before the act itself, and technically I got it up and even penetrated (for a short time), but it started to go limp. I just couldn't maintain an erection. Sometimes, I could get it semi-hard, but not enough for penetration, and even wasted 3 condoms trying.
I felt bad for the girl I was with, because I find her really attractive and she tought I didn't like her and that it was her fault that I could not get hard. I felt bad for my girlfriend who was having fun with the other guy, and I felt bad for him too, because I decided that we all should stop since I was not having fun and I didn't think it was fair.

Since then I've been trying to understand what happened to me.
Maybe it was the alcohol. We drank A LOT of beers and almost the whole bottle of tequila, maybe a little bit of anxiety which made me nervous in front of everybody and so on.
I don't know GAF, I'm an idiot. They said it wasn't my fault, that it happens to everybody, but it didn't make me feel better.
Now I feel like I disappointed everybody and that I'm a failure of a man.
I still want to try it again, but don't know if they will agree. My ego is bruised as fuck.

Sorry, I really needed to get this off my chest.

Go for it a second time. Be a bit enthusiastic about it so no one feels bad on account of you. Don't drink so much. And next time don't put the brakes on it.

"Sorry I got the limp dick from drinking to much, but how about I go down on you until you soak the sheets?"

 

[Earthbound64]

No one should feel excited or good with someone they aren't in a relationship with, but my ideals are pretty much dead these days.

Marital sex for procreation purposes only.

 

[thehypocrite]

Do some cardio.

 

[Zeke]

I would not allow the fucking orgy to continue either if I wasn't feeling it. I don't understand why people think that's a no-no.

Probably stupid bro code bullshit masked as she's her own woman to seem progressive

 

[bufkus]

Instead of giving up because you couldn't stay hard, you should have just offered to go down on the girl until she came, and then maybe she could just give you a hand job or something. Don't have to make everything about penetration.

 

[Roronoa Zoro]

Technically speaking, this is exactly opposite of what happened.

Holy shit this is golden lol

 

[Ninja Scooter]

OP you should have still ate the booty

 

[AlexBasch]

It's okay dude. It's one of the main reasons I stayed away from casual stuff because I'm really anxious and my first time with someone is always awkward and weird because of that. My current girlfriend was really supportive about it and we fooled around instead of downright fucking. The second time was completely different and I feel like we have improved from that point. If there's a chance of a second try, here's hoping things go better for you!

EDIT: Oops, didn't see the "going down part OP, I'm in mobile and kinda miss the 100 pp that I get on my PC. Sorry.

 

[Hello? This is Hailun!]

Probably stupid bro code bullshit masked as she's her own woman to seem progressive

I didn't know three consenting adults want to have sex and you don't want to participate, but they want to do it anyway. That's... stupid bro code bullshit?

What are you gonna do if they ignore you? Pout? Physically stop them? Whine about it on the internet?

 

[Jeronimo Jones]

I sometimes forget how self-righteous the internet can be.

It is possible to realize the potential damage the situation could cause to a relationship while also considering the feelings (guilt? selfishness?) involved in stopping all of your friends' fun.

The risk of not enjoying or being uncomfortable with the interaction comes with the territory.

Not everyone will respond in the same way to the situation explained in the OP and different viewpoints are also valid.

 

[Red Liquorice]

At least you pleasured GAF with your story.

Better luck next time, lay off the grog!

 

[Earthbound64]

I'm in mobile and kinda miss the 100 pp that I get on my PC. Sorry.

You can do 100 posts per page on mobile too...

 

[Zeke]

I didn't know three consenting adults want to have sex and you don't want to participate, but they want to do it anyway. That's... stupid bro code bullshit?

What are you gonna do if they ignore you? Pout? Physically stop them? Whine about it on the internet?

Then you have shitty partner for not considering your feelings in that situation. A decent partner that actually cares would put that above a few minutes of physical gratification. If I was in that position and my SO disregard how felt the relationship would be finished.