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Mario Bros Movie Critic Reviews Aren't So Great (current 46% RT, 48 Metacritic)

E-Cat

Member
He is the villain. What people expected? Make bad things, but also respecting their pronouns?
Come to think of it, Mario's an incel, too. White-knighting like there's no tomorrow, yet the only thing he ever gets is a peck on the nose.
 
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Synless

Member
I’ll let you all know how great it is tomorrow.

I’m getting that popcorn tin too.
 
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Blade2.0

Member
The problem probably is just old people gate keeping & not realizing this movie is for the kids
Puss in Boots: The Last Wish needs a word with you. For kids doesn't mean it has to be garbage.

As well as most Pixar films, How to Train Your Dragon series, etc.
 

tkscz

Member
Rotten Review from Grace Randolph says this:



"somwhat offensive story" LOOOOOOOOLLL
How know not to listen to her "Only bad movie they ever made"

Illumination is LITERALLY known for making bad to mediocre movies. Minions was awful, Secret life of pets 2 is the definition of unnecessary sequel, does anyone even remember their Grinch movie? I'm still going to see it but never expect more than basic from the company whose motto is "Aim for the most common denominator". I highly doubt its as bad as she says it is.

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish needs a word with you. For kids doesn't mean it has to be garbage.

As well as most Pixar films, How to Train Your Dragon series, etc.

DreamWorks and Pixar care about quality. Illumination as the same attitude as O onQ123 when it comes to their projects
 
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onQ123

Member
Puss in Boots: The Last Wish needs a word with you. For kids doesn't mean it has to be garbage.

As well as most Pixar films, How to Train Your Dragon series, etc.
Puss in Boots & the Shrek movies are not actually kids movies

kimQ3tQ.png
 

Blade2.0

Member
My god, that grating voice... :eek:



Soo her two major beefs with the movie are i. Poor world-building (why don't any of the other human species look like Mario & why is the human world super realistic), and ii. "Disturbing" story w/ Bowser obsessed with Princess Peach in a "post-Metoo world" ("I looked it up, and it happens in the games all the time"), and his 'stalker behavior' is inappropriate for children, apparently.

It looks like what she took the most offense to though was the absence of cultural appropriation (it appears everyone speaks in a New York gangster accent).

seinfeld-eye-roll.gif

How does she have almost 1 million subs? I mean, i can get where it might be weird to have that as the storyline, but she does have a really grating voice. i just need to quit the bank and hit youtube.
 

Dazraell

Member
Puss in Boots & the Shrek movies are not actually kids movies
Shrek and Puss and Boots will always be perceived as kids movies though. And a lot of kids grew up on Shrek too

That said, I remember how surprisingly dark The Last Wish was. The tone of this story, vIllains, dog's backstory, etc
 

E-Cat

Member
Bowser was origninally the father of the koopalings. He got to keep bowser jr. after the retcon. Bowser can't be an incel because he clearly fucks.
Good point. But he clearly suffers from unrequited love/lust. The question is, does he still fuck on the side?
 
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Lasha

Member
Good point. But he clearly suffers from unrequited love/lust. The question is, does he still fuck on the side?

I think Peach "gets captured" so often because she wants Bowser's dick. The mother of Bowser jr. And the koopalings was never made canon. For all we know the princess is a breeder. I've seen many documentaries to support this theory.
 

E-Cat

Member
Incel = Involuntary Celibate

To even bring up sex in a kiddies movie review, and between a giant half turtle half dragon monster and a princess is all kinds of weird, but not unexpected for those freaks who mascarade as movie critics these days.
I am familiar with the term. What I did not consider previously, that Lasha brought up, was that he was banging other chicks on the side - as proven by his offspring.
 

Batiman

Banned
I’m at the point in my life where I’ll pretty much know what game, movie or show I’ll like just from trailers. I know this won’t be the greatest movie but I know ill get enjoyment out of it.
 

Power Pro

Member
I did see it last night, and while it wasn't the worse thing ever made, it came across as extremely mediocre. Some of the 80s pop or rock music choices just felt kinda weird and put a weird "dated" stamp on the movie that didn't need to be there.

It was fine, and aspects of it are well made, but I dunno. Mario is just not the best source material I suppose for a movie. It's a lot of "remember this from the games?" references the movie, which can be fun. The voice acting never bothered me, so hey at least most people were wrong about Chris Pratt not fitting the role. Kids movie or not, this is clearly a franchise built on the nostalgia of a lot of 30-40 year olds, so it might've been nice to have something with a little more teeth to it sometimes. The entire plot of most of the games is Mario saving Peach, and that's never a part of this at all really, so it's hard not to smell a little political feminist movement BS thrown in there. To be fair though, the ending of Mario Odyssey was also pushing the same type of Peach. She saves herself the whole movie, and instead Luigi is the damsel the whole time, even though the movie is called Super Mario BROS. Though to be fair, Luigi works with Mario at the end to defeat Bowser at least.

I hate to say it, but the Sonic the Hedgehog movies I found to be better movies. They were adaptations that took the characters you love, and brought them into a unique story for the big screen, and I enjoyed them more for that because it was all something I hadn't seen before. They were full of references, but they were also their own thing because of the live action aspect of it. We got to see Sonic "for real" for lack of a better term, since yes Sonic and friends are still CGI, but are in the real world. This Mario movie doesn't do anything we haven't really seen before in some fashion in all the games. I think the most it deviates from a typical Mario game is how much more integrated Donkey Kong is with a main Super Mario scenario, instead of a party game. We've seen Mario in computer generated form since his inception though, so I guess no matter how well animated it is, it's still...not something new I guess except for a slightly different art style.
 

Nankatsu

Gold Member
Plan to go and watch this with my nephew.

Shame he didn't seem to like Mario Odyssey that much, he said it was too difficult :messenger_tears_of_joy:
 

MegalonJJ

Banned
So is Peach now training Mario - like really? So bold and brave etc. For those that have seen this how much truthphobic politics runs through the film?
 

Power Pro

Member
So is Peach now training Mario - like really? So bold and brave etc. For those that have seen this how much truthphobic politics runs through the film?
I mean, yeah....what's the plot of most Mario games? Mario and Luigi save Peach from Bowser. Take a guess how many times she needs saving in the movie?
Zero. Maybe once if you wanna get technical, but she saves herself in that instance. Mario basically helps save the Mushroom Kingdom at least, but yeah....Peach is the strong female character who can do anything in this. I REALLY don't want to come across as sexist, but I think films and stories that push this narrative forget that characters both men and women can be strong in ways that are not physical. Peach could have been a mentor, and smart in how to deal with Bowser, but still could have needed "saving" because she was sheltered and protected for being the Princess most of her life. Make her strong...in the mental sense, but instead, no she's just great at everything.
 

MegalonJJ

Banned
I mean, yeah....what's the plot of most Mario games? Mario and Luigi save Peach from Bowser. Take a guess how many times she needs saving in the movie?
Zero. Maybe once if you wanna get technical, but she saves herself in that instance. Mario basically helps save the Mushroom Kingdom at least, but yeah....Peach is the strong female character who can do anything in this. I REALLY don't want to come across as sexist, but I think films and stories that push this narrative forget that characters both men and women can be strong in ways that are not physical. Peach could have been a mentor, and smart in how to deal with Bowser, but still could have needed "saving" because she was sheltered and protected for being the Princess most of her life. Make her strong...in the mental sense, but instead, no she's just great at everything.

Lol not surprised but oh well.
 

Power Pro

Member
I just assume the negative reviews are cuz people cant get over Chris Pratt. Movie looks really fun
I will say, he was completely fine, and everyone sounds like they're having fun doing their voices. Mario's video game accent is basically an inside joke, because he knows someone in his life who talks like that (which I think was the Charles Martinet cameo), and so Mario adopts it to use that voice for his plumbing company commercial.
 

badblue

Member
Puss in Boots & the Shrek movies are not actually kids movies

kimQ3tQ.png
Excuse Me Reaction GIF by One Chicago


"Action/Violence, Rude humor/language and some scary" moments are in a crap ton of kids shows and movies. You need to take into account the age of the kid. Puss-in-Boots or Shrek may not be appropriate for a 3-4 year olds but fine for 7-8 year olds.
 

onQ123

Member
Excuse Me Reaction GIF by One Chicago


"Action/Violence, Rude humor/language and some scary" moments are in a crap ton of kids shows and movies. You need to take into account the age of the kid. Puss-in-Boots or Shrek may not be appropriate for a 3-4 year olds but fine for 7-8 year olds.
I'm not saying it's not for kids I'm saying it's for all ages a freaking donkey had sex with a dragon 😂
 

NahaNago

Member
I'd say the movie was simply good. Peach is a bit too much in this movie. They should have probably revealed a kick butt Peach in the next movie and simply made this one be about mario, luigi, toad , and DK. If they had used Luigi a lot more it could have easily have went into making a luigi's haunted mansion. I'd give the movie a rating of 82. It was an enjoyable movie for the most part.
 

Thaedolus

Gold Member
Just got back, I thought it was perfectly fine. Didn’t blow me away but was just long enough, had some funny parts, the kid loved the whole experience. Worth it
 

jufonuk

not tag worthy
Just got back, I thought it was perfectly fine. Didn’t blow me away but was just long enough, had some funny parts, the kid loved the whole experience. Worth it
Just seen it too. Perfectly ok film. Not the greatest and not the worse. Lots of Easter eggs. Perfectly serviceable plot.

Also yes bowser is a bit of a simp.
 
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Marvel14

Banned
Lol not surprised but oh well.
Power Pro Power Pro

It actually makes a lot of sense that she would know her way around the mushroom kingdom better than Mario. And she's been kicking ass since Western Super Mario 2 and is an easier character to play as due to her floating abilities- so her being "better" than Mario is canon as well.

Finally Miyamoto did not want Mario to be a typical hero and wanted his real super powers to be bravery, not giving up and learning and improving, not coincidentally the key attributes players of Mario games need to beat the games.

So if you take off your outrage-at-woke glasses , you'll see plenty that makes perfect sense based on the history of Mario bros.
 

MegalonJJ

Banned
Power Pro Power Pro

It actually makes a lot of sense that she would know her way around the mushroom kingdom better than Mario. And she's been kicking ass since Western Super Mario 2 and is an easier character to play as due to her floating abilities- so her being "better" than Mario is canon as well.

Finally Miyamoto did not want Mario to be a typical hero and wanted his real super powers to be bravery, not giving up and learning and improving, not coincidentally the key attributes players of Mario games need to beat the games.

So if you take off your outrage-at-woke glasses , you'll see plenty that makes perfect sense based on the history of Mario bros.

You can spare me your misplaced communist propaganda.
 

BlackTron

Member
You can spare me your misplaced communist propaganda.

I don't think PowerPro's take was really accurate. First, when Mario first arrives in the Mushroom Kingdom he kinda sucks and has to be shown the ropes by Peach, but that's because her backstory of living there since she was a baby is explained. Mario just showed up and you can tell his behavior is supposed to mimic someone who just started playing Mario, getting better and learning each time you "lose a life". And it wasn't the whole movie, it was one scene that explained power-ups to Mario/the audience. And then he had some platforming chops lol.

Second and more importantly. It isn't really true that Peach rescued herself. Peach made a really cool final stand but all it really did was buy time for Mario to show up. She was on the ropes and about to lose badly. And that's before the final FINAL "saving" when Mario and Luigi absolutely destroy Bowser. Peach behaved like a legitimately dangerous/capable Mario player as she has since NES but she was still unable to control Bowser and needed Mario to save her. Which exactly how she should be presented in a game adaptation!
 

Doom85

Member
Critics have never been more out of touch with reality in all of movie criticism history. I miss Roger Ebert.

Pfft, Ebert had some shit takes:

- Friday the 13th teaches horrible morals and will destroy our youth’s morale! (and then Siskel encouraged people to send complaints in the mail to not just the head of Paramount but also Betsy Palmer who merely acted in the film and probably would not appreciate getting a bunch of letters over a screenplay she had nothing to do with. He also spoils the ending to “keep people from seeing an awful movie”. Siskel would have fit in nicely with the more extreme of the The Last of Us Part 2 haters, who also tried to spoil the leaked plot to “save people from the awful game” (IIRC the mods here had to give a hard warning to anyone who tried to pull that bullshit) and also blaming an actress (Laura Bailey) over a story she didn’t write)

- the theater I saw Gladiator in had a shit screen, therefore the film gets two stars! (thank you Ebert, I’m sure your entire audience is all seeing the film at THAT particular theater. The man just wrote an Amazon review for a product but solely complained about the seller (which would be a review for that seller, not the product), for fucks sake)

- Star Wars Episode 1 has mind blowing visuals, therefore it is a 4 star movie regardless of the quality of the story or characters (yeah, let’s see how well those visuals age… Then again, this is basically Avatar fans‘ mindset, so clearly Ebert is not alone on this, but I just can’t with the “style over substance” stance)

- Kick-Ass is a terrible movie because it promotes a little girl murdering people (never mind those people are murderous mafia members). Also guess Ebert thinks it’s okay for the teenage boy to ”murder people”? He also claims the film will attract viewers well under 17 despite being R and give them dangerous imagery. Fuck off, it’s not a movie‘s fault if someone is seeing it below the intended content rating. This is the same “GTA is bad for kids!” bullshit people pushed in the 2000’s decade, yeah no shit, it’s almost like those games aren’t rated to be appropriate for kids!

He also claimed video games can never be art. Ignoring the actual definition of art means EVERY game is Art technically, there were already plenty of games even by that point (2010) that would clash with his close minded view. Also, plenty of people in the days of early cinema were as dismissive of the film medium, so way to become the sort of people one would expect you’d turn your nose up at
 
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