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[brocke]

I was just watching a show that sparked this question. What was the worst way you could possibly be killed in medieval times? Didn't Japan have worst ways of being tortured and dying back then?

 

[LakeEarth]

Two horses pulling you apart sounds pretty insane.

 

[demon]

Didn't the long-dead videogame site Daily Radar do an article on this years back? Willco?

 

[xsarien]

I'd say being drawn and quartered is probably an unpleasant way to leave this mortal coil.

 

[White Man]

I'd say being drawn and quartered is probably an unpleasant way to leave this mortal coil.

+1

http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~felluga/punish.html

From Discipline and Punish. A recounting of what it was like to be drawn and quartered in the 18th century. Japan didn't have shit on France.

 

[Solo]

Just being tied up and left in the desert would suck. Vultures FTL.

 

[bjork]

the plague

 

[FlameOfCallandor]

That coffin/body suit with spikes and shit

 

[Dedalus]

Being impaled on a stick, Vlad Tepes stylee.

Impalement was Dracula's preferred method of torture and execution, which he had learned in his youth as a prisoner of the Turks. Dracula usually had a horse attached to each of the victim's legs as a sharpened stake was gradually forced into the body. The end of the stake was usually oiled and care was taken that the stake not be too sharp; else the victim might die too rapidly from shock. Normally the stake was inserted into the body through the anus and was often forced through the body until it emerged from the mouth. However, there were many instances where victims were impaled through other bodily orifices or through the abdomen or chest. Infants were sometimes impaled on the stake forced through their mother's chests. The records indicate that victims were sometimes impaled so that they hung upside down on the stake.

 

[MrPing1000]

That coffin/body suit with spikes and shit

iron maiden

 

[SickBoy]

Not sure, but the website might hold the answer:

http://www.medievaltimes.com/

 

[whiteACID]

I read that in some backwards country, they executed people by putting them in some sort of canoe shaped device in the river. There was a hole cut out at the top for thier head to stick out and holes in the bottom of the canoe (it must have been suspended in the water so it wouldn't sink). Anyways, they would force the person to eat all day, the person would have no choice but to shit on themselves in the canoe. So, eventually they would be sitting in a canoe full of shit, with bugs eating the shit in the canoe and then eventually working their way up to the source of the shit.

I guess you would also call that torture.

 

[Solo]

Being impaled on a stick, Vlad Tepes stylee.

He also allegedly caught the dripping blood in a chalice and drank it, hence Dracula.

 

[Red Blaster]

I went to this torture device museum when I visited Prague about 5 years ago. I remember one device was essentially an upright coffin but with spikes on the door which would impale the dude inside if closed. There was another one where a nude women would be suspended in the air with ropes and have her legs spread open to be lowered onto a spiked pyramid. Nasty shit, but man was it cool.

 

[White Man]

on a scaffold that will be erected there, the flesh will be torn from his breasts, arms, thighs and claves with red-hot pincers, his right hand, holding the knife with which he committed the said parricide, burnt with sulphur, and, on those places where the flesh will be torn away, poured molten lead, boiling oil, burning resin, wax and sulphur melted together and then his body drawn and quartered by four horses and his limbs and body consumed by fire, reduced to ashes and his ashes thrown to the winds" (Pièces originales..., 372-4).

"Finally, he was quartered," recounts the Gazette d'Amsterdam of 1 April 1757. "This last operation was very long, because the horses used were not accustomed to drawing; consequently, instead of four, six were needed; and when that did not suffice, they were forced, in order to cut off the wretch's thighs, to sever the sinews and hack at the joints...

"The horses tugged hard, each pulling straight on a limb, each horse held by an executioner. After a quarter of an hour, the same ceremony was repeated and finally, after several attempts, the direction of the horses had to be changed, thus: those at the arms were made to pull towards the head, those at the thighs towards the arms, which broke the arms at the joints. This was repeated several times without success. He raised his head and looked at himself. Two more horses had to be added to those harnessed to the thighs, which made six horses in all. Without success.

After two or three attempts, the executioner Samson and he who had used the pincers each drew out a knife from his pocket and cut the body at the thighs instead of severing the legs at the joints; the four horses gave a tug and carried off the two thighs after them, namely, that of the right side first, the other following; then the same was done to the arms, the shoulders, the arm-pits and the four limbs; the flesh had to be cut almost to the bone, the horses pulling hard carried off the right arm first and the other afterwards.

"When the four limbs had been pulled away, the confessors came to speak to him; but his executioner told them that he was dead, though the truth was that I saw the man move, his lower jaw moving from side to side as if he were talking. One of the executioners even said shortly afterwards that when they had lifted the trunk to throw it on the stake, he was still alive. The four limbs were untied from the ropes and thrown on the stake set up in the enclosure in line with the scaffold, then the trunk and the rest were covered with logs and faggots, and fire was put to the straw mixed with this wood.

Goddamn

 

[bjork]

I read that in some backwards country, they executed people by putting them in some sort of canoe shaped device in the river. There was a hole cut out at the top for thier head to stick out and holes in the bottom of the canoe (it must have been suspended in the water so it wouldn't sink). Anyways, they would force the person to eat all day, the person would have no choice but to shit on themselves in the canoe. So, eventually they would be sitting in a canoe full of shit, with bugs eating the shit in the canoe and then eventually working their way up to the source of the shit.

I guess you would call that torture.

Holy crap! :lol

I heard of one from some country where, if busted for child molesting (or maybe rape also?), they cut your penis off and sewed it up in your mouth, then threw you in the river so you'd bleed to death or drown, whichever came first.

And another one where they cut your throat and put your tongue through it so it looks like a necktie, but I've never seen either of these.

 

[brocke]

Japan must have something approaching Europes level of gruesomeness. Like today the Yakuza mess you up pretty bad if you cross them.

 

[saelz8]

The Pope's Pears:

The vaginal pear was used on woman who had sex with the Devil or his familiars. The rectal pear was used on passive male homosexuals and the oral pear was used on heretical preachers or lay persons found guilty of unorthodox practices. Inserted into the mouth, anus or vagina of the victim, the pear was expanded by use of the screw until the insides are ripped, stretched and mutilated, almost always causing death. The pointed ends of the 'leaves' were good for ripping the throat, intestines or cervix open.

Slow Burn
A 16th century device to lift the victim in and out of the fire, roasting him alive slowly instead of burning him all at once.

The Judas Cradle:

The victim is raised up by the rope or chain and then lowered until the vagina, anus or the coccyx rests on the point. The torturer could vary the pressure by hanging weights from the victim or rocking or raising and dropping the victim from various heights.



Conclusion? Fuck the middle ages! I'll take a nuke, IDE, Grenade, Nuke any day of the week.

 

[White Man]

Japan must have something approaching Europes level of gruesomeness. Like today the Yakuza mess you up pretty bad if you cross them.

Japan lacks TROO GRIMNESS

 

[Instigator]

God damned barbaric Euros.

 

[snacknuts]

I remember hearing of one method where you were suspended upside down with your legs spread apart, and basically they started sawing you in half at the crotch. :'(

 

[Ecrofirt]

And another one where they cut your throat and put your tongue through it so it looks like a necktie, but I've never seen either of these.

Thank Pablo Escobar for that. You're thinking of a Cuban necktie.

 

[pixelfish]

Holly crap they were crazy back in the day. My body started hurting all over reading this thread.

 

[demon]

http://folk.ntnu.no/erlenkra/Daily Radar Feature - 20 Gnarliest Torture Devices of All Time.htm

oww #6

 

[Iceman]

#2 on that list is just an upside down #6 designed to leave you conscious up until they cut you down to your chest.. so I'm pretty sure that is the worst possible way to be tortured/killed.

 

[Eminem]

The Vikings used to have this "game" they played with their prisoners.

They would tie each to a tree, cut open their stomachs, and nail their intestines to the tree. The prisoners had to run in circles around the tree. Whoever removed all their intestines first won =/

 

[Ill Saint]

Leng Tch'e.

 

[LuCkymoON]

Breaking with the Wheel
In terms of frequency used, the wheel was second only to hanging as the most common form of execution in Germany during the Middle Ages. First, the victim (usually naked) had each of his limbs spread apart and tied to the ground. However, wooden crosspieces were placed under each major joint such as the wrists, ankles, knees, hips and shoulders. The torturer would then smash each limb and joint with the heavy, iron-enhanced wheel. But that was just the beginning of the nightmare. Once the limbs were reduced to gelatinous appendages of mashed bones, blood and flesh, each arm and leg was braided into the spokes of the wheel and then hoisted upright for display. The agonizing victim would remain in this position for days as crows and insects feasted on him or her until death.

You cant beat that lol

 

[ToxicAdam]

The Iron Maiden is still the craziest to me. Like Flame explained, it's a coffin that has spikes on the inside that are positioned in such a matter that they do not pierce any vital organs.

So they close the coffin on you, these metal spikes pierce your body in multiple, non-lethal spots. They remove you, dress your wounds, interrogate you some more. If they do not like the answer, they place you in again and the spikes reopen the wounds.

They could repeat it over and over and over.

 

[RiZ III]

I think it was the Greeks who had this metal bull in which they would place a person and then light a fire under it. So the victim would be essentially baked alive. The screams would come make it seem like the bull was moaning or whatever it is bulls do.

 

[android]

Goddamn

My god. He was alive!

 

[Gio_CoD]

Jesus Christ....... THANK GOD that I was not born in the middle ages.

 

[Christoff Yurievich]

Not sure, but the website might hold the answer:

http://www.medievaltimes.com/

:lol that was unexpected.

 

[thomaser]

There's a page in Umberto Eco's "The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana" with lots of pictures of various torture-instruments. I like one where they hoist the naked victim a couple of meters over a spiked chair, and then suddenly release the rope, impaling the victim's buttocks.

Oh, and in Haruki Murakami's "The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle" there's a gruesome description of a Japanese spy being skinned alive by Russian and Mongolian soldiers in a desert. That probably takes the top spot for me.

 

[MetalAlien]

The Bloody Eagle.

2 deep cuts through flesh and bone going down the back, as the victum tried to breath the lungs would flap like wings... I believe it was popular with the Vikings.

 

[MomoPufflet]

Not that the ones mentioned in this thread are at all pleasant, but I've always thought The Saw was the most sick torture ever. Being hung upsidedown while two guys saw you in half from groin to brain while your insides spill all over you is not a great way to go.

Also pitchcapping is another "how the fuck did they come up with this shit" torture:

The process involved pouring hot pitch, or tar, into a conical shaped paper "cap", which was forced onto a bound suspect's head and then allowed to cool. Less elaborate versions included smearing a cloth or paper with pitch and pressing onto the head of the intended victim. The "pitchcap" was then torn off taking lumps of skin and flesh with it which usually left the victim disfigured for life.

The torture was usually preceded by the crude shearing of the victims hair and many accounts report that ears were often partly or fully severed during the cutting. Refinements to the torture included unbinding the victim's feet to allow the spectacle of them running about in agony and in some cases, deliberately smashing their own heads in an attempt to end the torment. Another variation involved adding turpentine or gunpowder to the pitchcap when cooled and then setting it alight.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

whatever they did to William Wallace at the end of Braveheart.

 

[talking head]

I recall one that involved putting a bunch of rats into an empty cauldron, and turning that cauldron upside down onto the victims bare stomach (so the rats were trapped). a fire would then be lit on the outside of the cauldron, and it would heat up the inside, driving the rats crazy and forcing them to dig through the person to get out.

 

[temp]

http://folk.ntnu.no/erlenkra/Daily Radar Feature - 20 Gnarliest Torture Devices of All Time.htm

oww #6

18. Dunking Stool
Used primarily on women (as was the case for most devices of pseudo-sexual torture), the dunking stool would dip its occupant into a river for as long as the authorities saw fit.

That sounds sort of fun.

 

[radios shipping overview]

whatever they did to William Wallace at the end of Braveheart.

That would be hanging, drawing, and quartering. That's just about the worst way to go, as far as I'm concerned.

Schaphism, similar to one of the executions listed above, would be up there, though.

 

[Red Scarlet]

Drawn and quartered! Or being garroted.

iron maiden

 

[ThatCrazyGuy]

Man, humans are evil. Just put a bullet in my head.....

 

[Lost Fragment]

Damn, and people bitch these days about lethal injections being inhumane :lol

The worst I had ever heard of before I read this thread was how in Vietnam (I think?) they used to take Christians and suspend them upside down in tubs of shit until they either drowned or condemned their religion.

Pretty much all of these beat that though.

 

[Brannon]

My worst ways change with time. So my new worst way would be pickling.

That's when you are bound and put in a barrel of pickling juice with only your head exposed outside, trapped as if you were in a pillory. The barrel is sealed, and then several things will happen-

--Your skin gets weaker and softens up, absorbing and allowing the juice to get underneath, causing some pain

--Your skin degloves off your body, exposing those fresh nerves to the pickling process, causing extreme pain.

--Your muscles and membranes start to dissolve, leaving you a floating mess of organs. You'll die soon after, but it's nothing but pain.

Mmmm... pickled long pig....

 

[speedpop]

Yummy!

 

[MomoPufflet]

My worst ways change with time. So my new worst way would be pickling.

That's when you are bound and put in a barrel of pickling juice with only your head exposed outside, trapped as if you were in a pillory. The barrel is sealed, and then several things will happen-

--Your skin gets weaker and softens up, absorbing and allowing the juice to get underneath, causing some pain

--Your skin degloves off your body, exposing those fresh nerves to the pickling process, causing extreme pain.

--Your muscles and membranes start to dissolve, leaving you a floating mess of organs. You'll die soon after, but it's nothing but pain.

Mmmm... pickled long pig....

Oh what the fuck... (((((((((((((

I think "which torture would you pick" is kind of like the old "would you rather give your dad a BJ or have sex with your mom." Painful to think about and you are pretty much screwed regardless. Just flip a coin!

 

[thomaser]

I think "which torture would you pick" is kind of like the old "would you rather give your dad a BJ or have sex with your mom." Painful to think about and you are pretty much screwed regardless. Just flip a coin!

How about being "set in a comfy chair" followed by being "poked with pillows"? That's how the Spanish Inquisition did it, anyway.

 

[Jill Sandwich]

How about being "set in a comfy chair" followed by being "poked with pillows"? That's how the Spanish Inquisition did it, anyway.

:lol I didn't expect that!

 

[NLB2]

I went to this torture device museum when I visited Prague about 5 years ago. I remember one device was essentially an upright coffin but with spikes on the door which would impale the dude inside if closed. There was another one where a nude women would be suspended in the air with ropes and have her legs spread open to be lowered onto a spiked pyramid. Nasty shit, but man was it cool.

Dude, I went to that same museum a couple years ago, too. It was pretty sweet.

 

[NLB2]

Man, humans are evil. Just put a bullet in my head.....

You know, we've got labels like racist for people that say shit like "black people smell bad."

But we don't have word for when we extrapolate the actions of some human beings to cover all human beings.

Certainly no one in this thread tortures people to death, but we're all evil?

WTF, man?