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[Toytown Assassin]

Probably too late as it seems you have allowed the situation to get out of hand but you should talk to your wife and set some boundries. In my marriage we have a simple rule that the home is a place where both of us need to be comfortable and so we can veto anyone we dont want from being there. For example my father in law was never allowed in because I hated the bastid. Tell her she can see the MIL whenever she likes just not in the home and if there is anyone you invite in she doesn't like same rule! Sounds like she might even be grateful because she could blame you while getting what she wants too.

 

[Krappadizzle]

Have you tried the Larry David "Trump Hat" approach?

 

[T-0800]

Have you tried cancer? That got rid of my mother in-law.

 

[AJUMP23]

I think you and your wife talk to each other. Then you write down the ground rules you want to set with her mom. Then you and your wife talk to her and say we love you we appreciate you this will hurt but we need space and this is what we need. And lay it out. Be direct and clear and say you love them multiple times. It will still hurt. They are lonely I bet.

 

[DeepEnigma]

Have you tried cancer? That got rid of my mother in-law.

Damn.

 

[Roll Fizzlebeef]

Is she allergic to anything?

I had a friend with a MIL that was allergic to cats. So he got 3.

If she has a peanut allergy you can take up creating artisan peanut butter. Tell her in advance if she comes in she risks death lol

 

[KrakenIPA]

I was thinking of group counseling but y'all talking about war hahaha!

If there was something in her that you found redeemable years ago, it might still be there. Invite her to a family zoo trip so she can see how an animal acts in person. These old broads are full of piss and vinegar and they will not relent.

 

[mitch1971]

Did we just find Les Dawson's GAF account?

My wife ran away with the man next door. God I miss him.

 

[OverHeat]

the only thing left for you OP is a threesome with the mother’s in law and your wife
FHUTA!!!!

 

[KrakenIPA]

the only thing left for you OP is a threesome with the mother’s in law and your wife
FHUTA!!!!

Yeah thats a good point. Is she hot?

 

[6502]

If there was something in her that you found redeemable years ago, it might still be there.

She was tidy enough and isn't a total monster all the time (but prone to bouts of bitter cuntary), obviously I raise the irritating stuff as at my limit; but in any case I married the daughter not the mother so in my view her drama / issues are not my problem to fix or suffer (if that was even possible). She wants and expects 100% attention from the wife. Like she is an employee on the clock and has shown a huge lack of respect / gratitude for the time she takes from her.

I was slow to learn not to waste time and effort on other peoples problems but I have embraced cutting people off as I got older. It sounds horrible but is 100% an essential life skill. Issue is the wife not supporting it now.

I shall report back as things develop.

 

[KrakenIPA]

She was tidy enough and isn't a total monster all the time (but prone to bouts of bitter cuntary), obviously I raise the irritating stuff as at my limit; but in any case I married the daughter not the mother so in my view her drama / issues are not my problem to fix or suffer (if that was even possible). She wants and expects 100% attention from the wife. Like she is an employee on the clock and has shown a huge lack of respect / gratitude for the time she takes from her.

I was slow to learn not to waste time and effort on other peoples problems but I have embraced cutting people off as I got older. It sounds horrible but is 100% an essential life skill. Issue is the wife not supporting it now.

I shall report back as things develop.

Honestly, it sounds like you are close to figuring it out. God speed.

 

[Ar¢tos]

Find her a new man and she will leave you alone.

 

[NeoIkaruGAF]

Get a physical The Guardian subscription, leave it on the table she falls asleep at. Maintain throughout any conversation that everything printed is factual and never deviate. Point out that the guardian never supported Hitler, the daily mail never stopped.

Start speaking with a slight Zerman accent when she refuses to leave it at the door. Start goose stepping when in her presence, try to insert puns into the conversation eg "your the Hugo boss" when she asks for a cup of tea.

Are there any animals she hates is afraid of? Try and get the kids super into one/think it's cool and buy one. Bonus points if it's a German Shepard you name Goebbels.

OK, this is great.
I don’t think it will help OP, but damn.

 

[pauljeremiah]

My wife ran away the man next door. God I miss him.

I remember the night the wife and I went to the theatre; as we walked down Shaftesbury Avenue, we saw her, the mother-in-law, in an alleyway. She was on the ground with a group of six men attacking her, some with bats, some with clubs, and one of them was using a chain. My wife asked me, "Is there anything you can do?" and I said, "No, six should be enough."

 

[RJMacready73]

I'm sorry what? Have you tried telling her to fuck off and act like an actual adult and not a petulant child... Who puts up with that shite, you're a grown ass man FFS your house is your castle and you're letting some cunt invade it on a daily basis..

Edit, this is a joke post right???

 

[FeralEcho]

Here's my advice: grow some balls and tell her to fuck off, she's obviously invading your comfort zone and as others have said your house is your turf man,what are you doing....You don't let anyone make you feel uncomfortable in your own house,send that woman flying out if she didn't get the hint the last 20 times.It's not your fault she's thick as a brick and can't seem to catch a hint if her life depended on it.

 

[Lord Panda]

Have you tried cancer? That got rid of my mother in-law.

 

[FeralEcho]

O.P. by any chance is your mother in law related to this guy?

 

[CGNoire]

Get an airhorn and use it when she's annoying.

...or Spray her on the Nose with Water.

 

[Heimdall_Xtreme]

Have you tried cancer? That got rid of my mother in-law.

No matter how much you hate a person... That's not funny, it's not a game...

Karma can return it.

Never wish an illness or disease on someone.

 

[Tams]

Have you tried not avoiding her? Always being around, trying to understand her, so you know how she ticks?

Edit: It sounds like you need to gain her respect before you can have any influence on how she acts.

Sorry, but pandering to such intrusive and disrespectful behaviour is neither the answer nor the right thing to do.

It is not her house or household. End of. And in that regard, OP could even get the police to remove her from the property.

 

[Tams]

Get a physical The Guardian subscription, leave it on the table she falls asleep at. Maintain throughout any conversation that everything printed is factual and never deviate. Point out that the guardian never supported Hitler, the daily mail never stopped.

Start speaking with a slight Zerman accent when she refuses to leave it at the door. Start goose stepping when in her presence, try to insert puns into the conversation eg "your the Hugo boss" when she asks for a cup of tea.

Are there any animals she hates is afraid of? Try and get the kids super into one/think it's cool and buy one. Bonus points if it's a German Shepard you name Goebbels.

Careful there. You can, and I really mean can, be arrested for some of those things in the UK. Crazy, but true.

And you don't want to end up with only the likes of the Daily Fail and GB News as the only ones standing up for you.

 

[STARSBarry]

Cateful there. You can, and I really mean can, be arrested for some of those things in the UK. Crazy, but true.

And you don't want to end up with only the likes of the Daily Fail and GB News as the only ones standing up for you.

I mean that's sure to drive the mother in law mad, she turns on the TV and he's on it goose stepping around on her favorite channel as the people she respects to be racist on her behalf defend him... TOO ZEE BITTER END!

 

[-Minsc-]

What kind of bizarro world are we living in where divorce is the recommended solution to an overbearing mother in law? I must have missed the sarcasm tag.

 

[Days like these...]

What kind of bizarro world are we living in where divorce is the recommended solution to an overbearing mother in law? I must have missed the sarcasm tag.

You must have missed the part where the wife refuses to do anything or let OP do anything about the problem.

 

[-Minsc-]

I suppose when all else fails, go to The Bible.

1 Corinthians 13 | NIV Bible | YouVersion

If I speak in the tongues#:1 Or languages of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and a

www.bible.com

1 Corinthians 13
1If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Not to be treated as the husband dominating over the wife. Rather, mutually submitting to each other.

Ephesians 5 | NIV Bible | YouVersion

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But among

www.bible.com

21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

We all live in different circumstances. Any situation I have with my own wife and in-laws is not the same as that of the OP or any other out there. That said, each and every one of us out there has our one pride, ego and self-will. Consistently it's easy to think that our self is always the one who humbles and sacrifices. Not being able to look beyond our own noses it's easy to overlook the sacrifices those make around us.

This is not to say the OP should not speak up. I believe he should continue to gently and firmly speak his mind.

 

[Days like these...]

I suppose when all else fails, go to The Bible.

1 Corinthians 13 | NIV Bible | YouVersion

If I speak in the tongues#:1 Or languages of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and a

www.bible.com

Not to be treated as the husband dominating over the wife. Rather, mutually submitting to each other.

Ephesians 5 | NIV Bible | YouVersion

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But among

www.bible.com

We all live in different circumstances. Any situation I have with my own wife and in-laws is not the same as that of the OP or any other out there. That said, each and every one of us out there has our one pride, ego and self-will. Consistently it's easy to think that our self is always the one who humbles and sacrifices. Not being able to look beyond our own noses it's easy to overlook the sacrifices those make around us.

This is not to say the OP should not speak up. I believe he should continue to gently and firmly speak his mind.

OP tried that they're well past that point.

 

[bitbydeath]

Sorry, but pandering to such intrusive and disrespectful behaviour is neither the answer nor the right thing to do.

It is not her house or household. End of. And in that regard, OP could even get the police to remove her from the property.

Didn’t say anything about pandering, my comment was about understanding, that’s how you solve puzzles like this one.

 

[FunkMiller]

Have you tried cancer? That got rid of my mother in-law.

 

[Putonahappyface]

Probably too late as it seems you have allowed the situation to get out of hand but you should talk to your wife and set some boundries. In my marriage we have a simple rule that the home is a place where both of us need to be comfortable and so we can veto anyone we dont want from being there. For example my father in law was never allowed in because I hated the bastid. Tell her she can see the MIL whenever she likes just not in the home and if there is anyone you invite in she doesn't like same rule! Sounds like she might even be grateful because she could blame you while getting what she wants too.

That's exactly how it works in our house.

 

[T-0800]

No matter how much you hate a person... That's not funny, it's not a game...

Karma can return it.

Never wish an illness or disease on someone.

I loved my mother in-law and miss her very much. I can still make a joke about something terrible though if I feel like it.

 

[Paltheos]

I don't have anything constructive to say. I'm just here to say - after reading the whole topic - good luck.

 

[wipeout364]

Drive over at night and let the air out of one or two of her tires.

 

[Heimdall_Xtreme]

Ignore her. Remember that they are already older adults.

Many people then change their personality with age.

 

[T-0800]

Ignore her. Remember that they are already older adults.

Many people then change their personality with age.

I think you quoted the wrong person.

 

[Heimdall_Xtreme]

I think you quoted the wrong person.

Modding my post

 

[Kenpachii]

This may sound like something for mums net, but gaf I need a scheme to defeat a constantly respawning menance who is immune to both hints and direct conversation.

In short, the Mrs mother (widowed years ago) has been pretty tidy over the years though has been a bit cunty slagging me off to the wife in private. But in the scheme of things was better than my own mother who I banished from my family after her psycho attention seeking ruined my young kids birthday and christmas in close succession.

A visit twice a week has turned into a 9am call, followed by a visit until 9 / 10pm every day the past two months. Somewhat annoying. She is driving my wife crazy undermining her with the kids, moaning she isnt helping enough with her mothers house (she tries to but it is often blocked in favor of the mother visiting us), making statements that she is wants to see "her" (our) kids to now accusing the wife of having an affair because in the course of these 12 hour visits my wife texts ex work colleagues (her good character aside, between the time I am with her and her mother is, she has zero opportunity to do anything). This culminated with her mother slagging her off to family yet encouraging her to "visit the guy on the side" when she was ferrying her around grave sites the other day. Mrs very upset with her own mother head fucking her this way. The mother refuses to say sorry and even demanded an apology!

The only motivator for the wife (or me) to do anything on the side is the fact that with this woman haunting my house I can't remember how long ago I had the opportunity and wife had the energy for any sex. The mother in law has plenty of energy though, spending a few hours sleeping infront of my main tv each day.

For extra fun the woman has turned into a full blown Daily Mail acolyte, not just a normal tory (I have friends of all and no political persuasion) but someone who speaks with vitriol, ignorance and authority in equal and increasing measure. She does not accept requests to leave politics at the door.

I have tried being rude, it did not work.
She ignores the wife.
The wife won't let me banish her and has failed to reduce length or frequency of visits. Even when she says not to come over, she turns up.
I even tried increasing the sugar in her tea but those arteries are taking too long to clogg up.

Any ideas on how to deal or anyone had similar shit?

Set clear boundaries. Tell her your wife and u have active lives and need privacy on your own and say u don't mind her visiting but please call and we can plan a date when u can visit because u feel like she moved in permanently at this point and its getting ridiculous.

If she doesn't get the memo, then move to your wife and adress it and let her deal with it.

If your wife stone cold ignores you and doesn't see the issue. U start to escalate it and start to question your relationship as your needs are not forfilled in it and maybe start to search therapy and that the therapy chick can explain to her what normal is. This will give her a kick in the nuts and she probably starts thinking about it far more.

At the end of the day u are walked over entirely by the woman in your life it seems like. U always set clear boundaries, and let people know what u accept or not. U went to far with it and this is the result.

It's time to men up.

 

[StealthGoblin]

I employ the dead bat strategy.

Acknowledge what they say but offer no opinion, advice or feedback. They soon get bored. If you and your wife do that then there's a good chance you'll be left more and more alone.

 

[sankt-Antonio]

Just kindly ask her next time to leave the two of you alone, because want to have sex with your wife. Be direct.
If she stays you know she needs it to, tell her that and propose that you can buy her a male prostitute.
But she has to leave now, as you are going to smash that daughter of hers right now.

If that doesn’t help, r.i.p.

 

[apocaliptic]

Close the door and call the police on her . I am lucky in this regard. My MIL looks after my two kids, cooks and cleans for us. My house has never been so clean

 

[22:22:22]

Let me deal with them.

 

[T.v]

The problem here isn't your MIL, it's your wife.

 

[6502]

After two days of peace thanks to wife refusing visit due to illness (but not without protest from MIL) she arrived this morning and took one of the kids out. On return I told the wife to sort her car out so she can leave immediately. It is ready to go but blocking me in.

It has been over 5 hours since, the wife has been sorting house out and even went for a walk. Despite my requests to wife to not let this turn into another decade long visit, MIL is camped out, probably waiting for kids to be fed which I believe is a milestone to securing further hours until kids goto bed.

Daylight is lost. I am close to just shutting the electric off.

Edit: she stormed out an hour after this post when the wife made the kids food but not her. Apparently she had been sleeping again for hours and tutting at wife for checking her phone; the older kids avoided her after rants during the news (some people needed rounding up and shooting apparently).

 

[DoomGyver]

Buy another house in secret. Rent out your current house. Or move about 9 hours away.

 

[Mistake]

If it has come to the point of her actively interfering in the happiness between you and your wife, tell the wife straight and warn her it's destroying the marriage. If she doesn't do anything, file for a restraining order for your house and let things go from there. That way you can still see or call the MIL, but she's cut off and you have your life back

 

[Peggies]

When my husband told his mother about his vasectomy, she was very upset. "But what if you want to have another child?" she asked. He said "ah no, that's ok, Peggies and I decided two are enough."

She said"yeah but what about the future, maybe you'll want to have kids with another woman?".

God I hate her.

 

[The Pleasure]

Nursing home. The cheapest and worst care for your dollar. Send her to the land of OK Boomer.

 

[Hudo]

Get her hooked on a video game like The Sims or Animal Crossing.

 

[simpatico]

Your efforts are better spent making sure the wife's head stays properly screwed on. I'm in a similar (but less extreme) situation. Empty nest hitting the MIL hard and she always tries to find reasons to spend the night at our house. She's likes me, so it's not nearly as detrimental as what you're going through. She fights with my wife like crazy though. They talk to each other in a very harsh tone at all times.

The only direct approach would be just dominating her, but if you're not there now you probably don't have it in you to do.