My Father Passed Away

As you saw on the other thread, my father was dying.

I woke up today around 5:37 a.m. and went to check on him and he wasn't breathing. I called the hospice nurse and he was pronounced dead at 6:24 a.m.

I have lived and taking care of my dad most of my life I have been with my dad pretty much all my life and now I am completely alone. I have relatives in other states but I have no brothers or sisters as I am an only child and no family that lives here in this city.

My mother passed away from cancer when I was in my early twenties.

I will have family coming in for the funeral which should be in about 2 or 3 weeks. I am keeping in contact with people everyday.

I am extremely lonely and scared and devastated. My little wiener dog. My dad's little weenie dog doesn't know what's going on. The funeral home took him away and the dog will go outside waiting to see when he's going to come home. It's beyond heartbreaking to me.

I'm lost and I don't know what to do even with some people trying to help me. It's not going to be the same here without my dad. His bedroom door is now closed and I'm going to be sleeping in the living room with the dog. The dog used to sleep in his room, underneath the bed and sometimes beside him.. she thinks he's coming back.

I know he's not and I'm not ready for what's to come next.
 
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FunkMiller

Gold Member
You have my deepest condolences. Do you have anyone you can lean on for support? Friends? That's vital at times like these. There are places available that will help you, if you don't feel you have anyone personal you can turn to. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
 
If you have a support network, reach out and use it. Even some one you can talk to.

Having lost my father many years ago, it was tough at the time. But as the years pass. the pain he was in at the end and the bad times fade and all that remain are the beautiful memories that keeps him alive, in me ❤️

Be strong 💪🏽. Your father lives on in you and he wouldn’t want you to struggle or be burdened with guilt or worry. I am sure he want you To find your way and kick on with your life ❤️
 

Kenpachii

Member
As you saw on the other thread, my father was dying.

I woke up today around 5:37 a.m. and went to check on him and he wasn't breathing. I called the hospice nurse and he was pronounced dead at 6:24 a.m.

I have lived and taking care of my dad most of my life I have been with my dad pretty much all my life and now I am completely alone. I have relatives in other states but I have no brothers or sisters as I am an only child and no family that lives here in this city.

My mother passed away from cancer when I was in my early twenties.

I will have family coming in for the funeral which should be in about 2 or 3 weeks. I am keeping in contact with people everyday.

I am extremely lonely and scared and devastated. My little wiener dog. My dad's little weenie dog doesn't know what's going on. The funeral home took him away and the dog will go outside waiting to see when he's going to come home. It's beyond heartbreaking to me.

I'm lost and I don't know what to do even with some people trying to help me. It's not going to be the same here without my dad. His bedroom door is now closed and I'm going to be sleeping in the living room with the dog. The dog used to sleep in his room, underneath the bed and sometimes beside him.. she thinks he's coming back.

I know he's not and I'm not ready for what's to come next.

My condolences mate. It's going to be rough, u pretty much me. my dad also died 8 months ago, mom from cancer in early 20's, dad was living with me and frankly no family other then a insane sister i never see so yea its lonely as fuck.

If u get completely stressed out and don't know what to do anymore ask anybody from your close friends / family for help, if you got nobody and u feel like life becomes a lot more difficult even basic tasks u can visit a doctor and get a therapist to talk to and that person will basically be some semi parent helping you move through the motions which can stick around for years, it will also somewhat help with being lonely.

About your dog, from what i know letting animals around diseased people they are connected towards, makes them understand they are no longer alive. Not sure if this is true tho but heard something along the line of that.

Stay strong mate, will think about you.
 
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RoadHazard

Gold Member
Sorry man. You have a grieving period ahead of you, but you will get out of it, and then it's up to you what the next chapter of your life should be.
 
I’m sorry for your loss. Take care.

RIP, may your eternal sleep be gentle and full of bliss.
 

Komatsu

Member
Very sorry for your loss. I know how stressful it is to organize a wake/burial for a loved one but please set aside some time for yourself: watch your favorite movies, play your favorite games.
 

Bitmap Frogs

Mr. Community
I'm really sorry for your loss.

It might not feel like it right now, but be confident that there's a path ahead for you. Your parents might be around anymore, but what they taught you, their love, always will.
 
Condolences and prayers.

This one always gets me through. Cause I know its true.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning – Psalm 30:5​

Sometimes that morning isn't the next day, week, month or year, but its somewhere out there approaching.
 
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Go_Ly_Dow

Member
Very sorry for your loss.

Be sure to eat, go for walks, speak to people and sleep. Take time to process your emotions, grieve and look after yourself.
 

SirTerry-T

Member
Condolences pal. Losing a parent is tough, losing both tougher still. Hold your head high in the fact that you did all you could while caring for him. Reach out to anyone you can during the grieving process, friends (online or offline), family if you need that extra support. Plenty of us around these parts have been through similar life events and can "lend an ear” if needed.

Look after yourself too.
 

Aesius

Member
You need caring people in your life right now, OP.

Stay in close contact with your relatives. See friends as often as possible. Get into therapy and try to find some community and belonging in your neighborhood/city. Could be volunteering, attending a church, signing up for classes. Get out of the house and get around people and make connections.

These are the things my mom had to do after we lost my dad. She was completely lost for about a year.
 

BlvckFox

Gold Member
I am so sorry, my friend.

You’ll get through this. Don’t think you need to deal with the pain alone. Surround yourself with loved ones.

The pain of loss never disappears but it does get easier to handle.
 

JBat

Member
Very sorry to hear that. If there is any comfort to find just know his pain in over. It will be okay

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace
 

Northeastmonk

Gold Member
Very sorry to hear that. If there is any comfort to find just know his pain in over. It will be okay

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace
That passage was used at my dad’s funeral. He passed away in 2007. The best thing to do is surround yourself with family when they come for the funeral and focus on the good times you had with him.
 

AJUMP23

Member
Sorry to hear about the loss. Grief is tough work through it. Get out of the house and do things if you can.
 

JBat

Member
That passage was used at my dad’s funeral. He passed away in 2007. The best thing to do is surround yourself with family when they come for the funeral and focus on the good times you had with him.
Was used at my dad's too.
Or family also uses Timothy 7:4
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
 
There is nothing that anbody could say, or write to you, that would possibly mitigate the pain of losing your father. Death is part of life, all beings and things in this universe are finite...Such is the law of God...or the cosmos, for those who do not believe in a supreme mind/absolute power behind it all. But know this, as terrible as this is, and it is terrible, time will gradually heal the wounds...Your father's spirit lives through you...through the principles he taught you...through the memories that you will cherish and hold onto until your last breath...
Existence is suffering, but as Camus insisted on, our mission to to conquer our fear and embrace it fully; Such is the rebellious nature of the braves.
Mourn him, for he was your father/friend/companion...Find solace in the fact that you did your -moral- duty as a son, supporting him until his last day on earth; Collect yourself and lock horns with the unknown, for he would have been proud of seeing you blossom.and grow as a person. That will be your best gift to him.
May he rest in peace...and may you honour him by living a good and decent life.
 

RavageX

Member
I understand how you feel. Both of my parents are gone. I still do not feel ok. There is this feeling of loneliness that never goes away. Sometimes a simple phone conversation would be enough to improve a rough day, but I don't have that anymore. It's been a couple of years and it still feels like yesterday. I know that they would want me to stay strong. They would always tell me, "Do the best that you can." and as simple as that is, it's one of the things that still keeps me going.
 

Tams

Member
My condolences.

I can't really say much on grief, as I think it's a very personal experience. I lost my own father a fair few years ago now and it wasn't great.

Going by your other thread though, it does sound like the situation is now better for both him and you. It really sounded like it was horrible for both of you. Take time to grieve if you need it, but after that it's time to get up and on with the next chapter of your life.

If you'd like us to do some sort of gaming session on Discord or the like, I'm sure we could arrange something. Doesn't have to be the same game, or even games; just having a chat.
 
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DeafTourette

Older than air but younger than the foundations of the earth
Bruv... I wish I could give you a hug. Having lost one of my biological parents 2 years ago and seeing her being wheeled away from the nursing home room... I can only imagine what you're feeling right now. I know it's deeper than the words in your post Because they're indescribable. My inbox is open any time.

*Internet hug*
 

22•22

Doesnt need recognition
Very sorry to hear about your loss. My condolences brother.. It's probably my worst nightmare, the eventual loss of my parents.. Again I'm very sorry and I wish you the best... ='(
 

Blade2.0

Member
I'm sorry to have read this. It's never easy. My father passed in 2017 while I was in China. Just be happy you got to see him before his passing. With time it does get it easier. It never heals but it gets easier. We're all here if you need to vent.
 

ahtlas7

Member
Sorry for the loss of your father, your friend. I lost my father about 10 years ago to an accident and now live attempting to bring honor to his memory and raise kids he would be proud of. Wish it could have been said my father and I were friends though, you are blessed bro. The advice you didn’t ask for: live now to spread the remembrance of you dad to others. He now lives in your thoughts.
 
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