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[Jhoan]

You don't necessarily have chemistry right away, sometimes it takes a little bit of time for it to show. At least for me, dating was nerve wracking, especially first dates. So maybe that hinders chemistry.

I don't disagree with the 'fuck yeh' thing but I don't think you can always know straight away. I know you go on a lot of first dates but not many subsequent so why not give it a go? Make them cheap or free dates and you're not losing a lot.

Don't date for the sake of dating, but at the same time don't dismiss someone before you even meet them.

There isn't much of a difference between meeting someone for a first date and meeting them for a second. In both scenarios, you're figuring out the kind of person they are, and whether you have chemistry. Some people are heavily guarded on the first date, lest they meet someone interested in practicing blood sacrifices on them. Meet them again in a different environment and maybe they'll surprise you (or you'll surprise yourself).

Yeah, both of you guys are right including to continue keeping it cheap. I whine a lot about not having been on a second/the elusive third date this year and getting told no to a second but it's because I'm part of the problem looking at their vices/negatives rather than the good things. The last couple of girls I went out with were nice girls (save for the Mexican chick who was tense and combative) and had I contacted them again, they would have definitely have said yes to a second date.

I give myself excuses not to go out with them when life is too short to be so picky. So it's my promise to you guys (and my therapist) that I will give girls a second chance going forward that might have been awkward on the first one. That being said, I whined about not being excited to meet with the 32 year old earlier and well I took that back as I'll explain below in the post-date results. Proactive TL;DR: I'll definitely be seeing her again.

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I had an amazing date and instant chemistry with this girl who was about to leave the city and travel all around the world for an entire year. Well since then, we when on more dates and the chemistry was electric. I had a really great time with her, but today was the her last day here. It more emotional than we thought. I would love to see her again, and she said she really fell in love with the city so she'll most likely come back. A year is a long time, so we'll see.

Take the time to mourn the loss of a short-lived romance, then get back on the horse and gallop off into the sunset to your next adventures. It sucks man but at least you have the memories. I'll be there if you need anything.

So now for that date: My expectations and whining evaporated into thin air several minutes into it since I was caught of guard by her surprisingly bubbly and dulcet voice. She kept apologizing about being late which I found cute and told her I'm the one who's usually running late. Suffice to say, she looked much better in person as I would tell her so later on. The more she spoke, the more attractive I found her since she hit all the chords I like including being sarcastic/funny.

It seems that I tend to hit it off well with Midwest girls on the first date for some odd reason. She's a flight attendant with a bunch of hilarious travel stories. I wasn't bored and found all of it very fascinating. I initiated a little bit of touching as we walked to the park.

Suffice to say, it was one of the best dates I've been on this year. The jokes were light, she was smiling a lot and laughing at my wisecracks/blunt observations, and the best part was I didn't overthink a single thing because fuck it. As soon as we got to the park touching sporadically progressed. By the time we got to the grassy area near where a free concert was happening and sat down, sexual tension was high we touched a bit more. I saw her look down at my lips and got the signal I was looking for but it didn't happen until much later when we were sitting by a pond/fountain area since she didn't feel comfortable making out around so many people after I touched and smelled her hair.It was light and a tease but I finally stopped overthinking so damn much and went with the flow.

We held hands the most of the way back to the subway while we navigated out of the park with me occasionally me holding her umbrella with my free hand around her shoulder. I kissed her on the cheek before her stop. When we got off on her stop since I had to transfer trains, we parted with a bit of a long hug and another fleeting, light kiss then agreed it was fun. I wanted more but that will have to wait until date number 2. It was a Monday evening well spent being that I was able to be my honest myself.

Any way I'm at the gym at the moment so I better finish my work out. I said I would text her once I get home. Please don't overthink things guys since that's the biggest turn off to girls.

 

[Lulubop]

Eh, I'm alright. Just a bit of a shame. We can both see us being together under different circumstances. That said, I'm definitely down to hang out more often with you and nyc gaf in general. My best friend actually moved to mexico the beginning of this month so I can use some more bros. Good stuff on that date

 

[Jokab]

All girls on Tinder say 'no one-night stands'. Why bother even writing it, then? I have yet to find one profile who's into one-night stands

It doesn't go for all of them obviously, but I would guess that many of them don't want to be see as "easy". A lot of the girls putting this in their profile would probably be down for a ONS if she was feeling the guy.

 

[True Savior]

All girls on Tinder say 'no one-night stands'. Why bother even writing it, then? I have yet to find one profile who's into one-night stands

Off course they are. That's where attractiveness comes into play.

 

[Jhoan]

Eh, I'm alright. Just a bit of a shame. We can both see us being together under different circumstances. That said, I'm definitely down to hang out more often with you and nyc gaf in general. My best friend actually moved to mexico the beginning of this month so I can use some more bros. Good stuff on that date

Thanks man! Hopefully it leads to something good so fingers crossed!

With your BFF moving to Mexico, at least you have a place to crash if you travel to Mexico. It must have been hard on you but as people get older, interests change, and start families. Having been there before, it sucks but I accepted it and found new friends to replace the old ones that I used to hang out with. NYC GAF is like another family to me akin to how my convention friends are another one; old friends share a strong sense of camaraderie that spreads to the newcomers.

---
Day 2/3 of my back to back dating gauntlet continues tonight with a 23 year old abstract photographer who is quite tall at 5'11'' but I like tall girls just as much as I like shorter ones; the 32 year old I went out with yesterday was 5'1'' for reference. We both like art having studied it and are on the same boat of being post-grads who are winging it. Mother nature might rain on our parade but it should be fine with umbrellas.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

You're absolutely right. Believe me, that's the key piece of insight I'd like to learn from. I had a long talk with my bff about this, and she basically explained that where I'm meeting people wasn't the problem, but that I didn't know when to cut bait for certain kinds of people. For those that I didn't click with or who bored me, it was easy. When I'm referring to them with nicknames like "Fish Lips" and "Cider Girl," it's not hard at all.

My problem, on the other hand, is that I'm too invested in the idea of "building a relationship." Which is absolutely true, but it takes more than attraction and effort. It takes certain personalities that do gel together.

Basically, I'm better at spotting red flags. I don't know if things will be much better this time around, but they'll definitely be different.

I agree. It's not too hard to emotionally invest in someone if you like them and decide to have a relationship with them. However, are they the right person to invest in? This was something I realized after my last relationship: we weren't compatible, but I was willing to work on it and she wasn't. Belatedly, I appreciate that she saw the writing on the wall before I did and ended things.

I think, for you, a relationship needs to be easier. Less doubt, less compromises, less "she's nice, but". You know what you bring to the table. Don't settle; if she can't see you for who you are (the king of online dating) she isn't worth your time or effort. But at the same time, don't be too hasty or judgmental.

Spoiler

Addendum: I'm a bit surprised (and flattered) that you're so receptive to my advice/opinions. I think I'm rather inexperienced and these situations are out of my league, but I'm going to keep blathering on until someone tells me I'm full of it.

 

[gwailo]

Relationships are work and involve change but if you have a laundry list of things one or both of you needs to work on, especially early on, it's probably doomed to failure. Usually from one person having to make a ton of one-sided effort or giving up and putting in no effort at all, which only lets the underlying problems fester until they blow up, oftentimes over the dumbest shit ("You didn't do the dishes - it's just like when you kissed that other girl - you don't love me!")

 

[Kurtofan]

what does it mean when a girl says she "wants to become friends first"? Literally the third time I come across it, is this code for "getting to know each other"

 

[Lulubop]

Thanks man! Hopefully it leads to something good so fingers crossed!

With your BFF moving to Mexico, at least you have a place to crash if you travel to Mexico. It must have been hard on you but as people get older, interests change, and start families. Having been there before, it sucks but I accepted it and found new friends to replace the old ones that I used to hang out with. NYC GAF is like another family to me akin to how my convention friends are another one; old friends share a strong sense of camaraderie that spreads to the newcomers.

---
Day 2/3 of my back to back dating gauntlet continues tonight with a 23 year old abstract photographer who is quite tall at 5'11'' but I like tall girls just as much as I like shorter ones; the 32 year old I went out with yesterday was 5'1'' for reference. We both like art having studied it and are on the same boat of being post-grads who are winging it. Mother nature might rain on our parade but it should be fine with umbrellas.

Ha, yea. I've already been invited to visit, hell I was asked to move out there with them. His Girl's parents have a pretty big property with plenty of space. Will def head out there at some point, though he doesn't plan on staying for too long. He'll eventually come back here. My other closet friends live upstate so more people to hang with are welcome.

On topic, feeling a little burnt out. My just relegate Saturdays to meeting new people. Also asked that 10/10 chick if she wanted to hang again, she said not this week but she wants to see my smile again. We'll see. She seems like a young girl who enjoys a more fast, high end live style. Like those girls who role deep at highend night clubs, and hang with dudes who drive lambos.

 

[FLAguy954]

xpost from the dating thread:

I'm currently messaging 6 women at the moment and it always feels good to have options. In reality, I'm really only messaging 4 of them seriously because one has a difference in religion (but she is cool as fuck and could make for a good friend) and the other one was really bad at communication and committing to a meetup.

The bad communicator is the main reason I'm posting because what she said to me last night over a phone call was simply not true. She said something about me not being assertive enough even though I attempted to set up dates with the exact time, place, and labeling. Then she said something along the lines of me being a 'nice guy' (I don't know what she meant by that but she couldn't clarify). She couldn't commit to any of the dates I had planned. All I could do is literally laugh to myself. All I could hear from her were excuses. The last straw was this afternoon were she said she would stop by so we can talk a little face to face. That didn't happen so now her number is no longer in my phone. I don't have time for people who don't have time for me.

I have asked 3 of the women out this weekend (assertively lol). We'll see how that goes.

 

[ZackieChan]

what does it mean when a girl says she "wants to become friends first"? Literally the third time I come across it, is this code for "getting to know each other"

Is this in their profile, or is it something they're saying to you after chatting with them? If the former, it's probably meaningless - kind of like saying "no hookups." If they like you, they won't care about some rule about being friends first. If the latter, then it means they're not interested in dating you (either just right now, or at all). So if you're looking for a romantic relationship, it's probably best to move on.

Ha, yea. I've already been invited to visit, hell I was asked to move out there with them. His Girl's parents have a pretty big property with plenty of space. Will def head out there at some point, though he doesn't plan on staying for too long. He'll eventually come back here. My other closet friends live upstate so more people to hang with are welcome.

On topic, feeling a little burnt out. My just relegate Saturdays to meeting new people. Also asked that 10/10 chick if she wanted to hang again, she said not this week but she wants to see my smile again. We'll see. She seems like a young girl who enjoys a more fast, high end live style. Like those girls who role deep at highend night clubs, and hang with dudes who drive lambos.

Where in Mexico?

 

[Lulubop]

Is this in their profile, or is it something they're saying to you after chatting with them? If the former, it's probably meaningless - kind of like saying "no hookups." If they like you, they won't care about some rule about being friends first. If the latter, then it means they're not interested in dating you (either just right now, or at all). So if you're looking for a romantic relationship, it's probably best to move on.



Where in Mexico?

Tapalpa. It's close to Guadalajara

 

[RedRum]

Some of these profiles on POF man..

"To me the perfect man is smart, fun, handsome and loves Jesus. I'm actually 43 not 35."

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Started chatting with a girl on the People Nearby feature on WeChat. We just hung out in Bangkok for like 4 hours. I almost jokingly offered for her to stay over tonight, even though she made it clear she's not interested in a romantic relationship with a dude who is staying here only a week. Get home and text her that jokingly, and she says "why didn't you say it before?"

Note to self: go with your gut. I bet she'll come over anyway - it's a $2 cab ride for her to get here 😉

Wechat nearby feature is awesome as a white guy in China. I got so much attention from that. Then after a while I used it seriously and met my Fiancee.

 

[Kurtofan]

I apologized to the girl I mentioned earlier (about my "was my message so bad?^^") she said "it's normal don't worry I understand your reaction somewhat"

yes?? now how to turn back into a normal conversation if possible? ^^

What do you think of using smileys? ^^ x) that kind of stuff I sprinkles my message with them, maybe it's a bad thing to do? Girls I talk to do it so I figure it's ok.

 

[ZackieChan]

I apologized to the girl I mentioned earlier (about my "was my message so bad?^^") she said "it's normal don't worry I understand your reaction somewhat"

yes?? now how to turn back into a normal conversation if possible? ^^

What do you think of using smileys? ^^ x) that kind of stuff I sprinkles my message with them, maybe it's a bad thing to do? Girls I talk to do it so I figure it's ok.

All those smilies make you look like a psychopath or a child. Stop doing it. Use like 1/10 of them if you must.

And turn it back to normal conversation by just asking a normal question. How would you do it any anyone else? Do that.

 

[thestopsign]

So I am supposed to meet up with this girl I met on Tinder and have been snapchatting with for the past three days or so tonight and I am started to get scared off. She has an attractive face, but I really can't tell if she is overweight or not. She also seems to have barely left her bed in the past three days and has been wearing the same shirt each day...

To be fair she has supposedly been studying for an exam, but still it seems weird as hell to me.

 

[gwailo]

So I am supposed to meet up with this girl I met on Tinder and have been snapchatting with for the past three days or so tonight and I am started to get scared off. She has an attractive face, but I really can't tell if she is overweight or not. She also seems to have barely left her bed in the past three days and has been wearing the same shirt each day...

To be fair she has supposedly been studying for an exam, but still it seems weird as hell to me.

I wouldn't worry too much. Women typically put in a lot of effort to get ready, even for casual dates. Makeup and clothes can make a night and day difference.

But the issue is why are you snapchatting with her before the first date? Leave that sort of chit-chat for the actual date.

 

[thestopsign]

I wouldn't worry too much. Women typically put in a lot of effort to get ready, even for casual dates. Makeup and clothes can make a night and day difference.

But the issue is why are you snapchatting with her before the first date? Leave that sort of chit-chat for the actual date.

She has been the aggressor in that regard, not me.

 

[gwailo]

Then just say something like "I'm too busy to chat now, but I'm really looking forward to seeing you on Friday!" or something like that. If she keeps pushing you to chat/text before the first date, she is getting overly attached/clingy already and probably not worth ddating. As you said, her behavior is already starting to scare you off.

 

[Jhoan]

Ha, yea. I've already been invited to visit, hell I was asked to move out there with them. His Girl's parents have a pretty big property with plenty of space. Will def head out there at some point, though he doesn't plan on staying for too long. He'll eventually come back here. My other closet friends live upstate so more people to hang with are welcome.

On topic, feeling a little burnt out. My just relegate Saturdays to meeting new people. Also asked that 10/10 chick if she wanted to hang again, she said not this week but she wants to see my smile again. We'll see. She seems like a young girl who enjoys a more fast, high end live style. Like those girls who role deep at highend night clubs, and hang with dudes who drive lambos.

That girl sounds like those rich Long Island girls I see coming out of Penn Station on Friday nights dressed in tight/semi-revealing outfits to go clubbing/bar hopping. To me, that is a very superficial lifestyle. It might be worth it in the end but considering how young she is, enjoy the ride but don't expect it to last long.

Then again, she likes you for who you are so don't have to be like those trust fund Long Island dudes who drive BMWs and sports cars. Show her your idea of a good time and hopefully she continues to enjoy it. Still, I would take it with a grain of a salt. The problem that I usually have with talking to girls under 21 is that they like to seek attention and are flaky as sin in my experience (although it has happened with older girls to be fair).

xpost from the dating thread:

I'm currently messaging 6 women at the moment and it always feels good to have options. In reality, I'm really only messaging 4 of them seriously because one has a difference in religion (but she is cool as fuck and could make for a good friend) and the other one was really bad at communication and committing to a meetup.

The bad communicator is the main reason I'm posting because what she said to me last night over a phone call was simply not true. She said something about me not being assertive enough even though I attempted to set up dates with the exact time, place, and labeling. Then she said something along the lines of me being a 'nice guy' (I don't know what she meant by that but she couldn't clarify). She couldn't commit to any of the dates I had planned. All I could do is literally laugh to myself. All I could hear from her were excuses. The last straw was this afternoon were she said she would stop by so we can talk a little face to face. That didn't happen so now her number is no longer in my phone. I don't have time for people who don't have time for me.

I have asked 3 of the women out this weekend (assertively lol). We'll see how that goes.

Sweet Jesus! It sounds like you're on a roll! As long as you keep it cheap, your wallet will thank you later.

So I met up with the aforementioned 23 year old photographer last night and it went pretty solid. She was as damn near as tall as me and had one straying eye which she mentioned that she's blind in one eye and told me the story behind it. I respected her for it and found it fascinating how mentioned that she was seeing double vision growing up before she got it surgically corrected. We talked a whole ton about art, our artwork, and different art shows/museums that we had been to as expected (we went back to the same park as on Monday's date but took a different route).

Aside from the eye, she was fairly attractive as a whole/mousy and had really muscular legs from riding her bike everywhere. I tried to make out with her at one point but she said that she doesn't kiss on first dates so it was awkward for a moment but she thanked me and changed the subject. Definitely will be seeing her again over the weekend if not early next week. I think a museum is in order.

Third date tonight is with a 36 year old who lives a few blocks away from me and is attracted to intellectual discussions about gentrification and what have you. Coffee shop plus park redux. It should be fun and a change of pace.

I added a fourth date set for tomorrow: the 28 year old med school girl I had previously mentioned hitting it off with asked to hang out tomorrow which I found charming. Apparently she came back from visiting her brother and friends on Monday only to leave again to visit her parents for two weeks on Saturday morning which sucks but I understood. This will be our belated second date so I'm really looking forward to it. I suggested crossing the major bridge near my place to the neighboring state and hanging out at the park there but plans can change. If things go really well, I'll invite her over. Otherwise, I'll play it by ear.

The only minor updates I have are that I've speaking to a 45 year old, a 28 year old, a 30 year old, and a 39 year respectively on Tinder and got a few profile visits on my OKC including one who fell off with messaging me. Also, I haven't heard back from the 32 year old I saw on Monday so I'll give it another few days before trying again and asking her out to a second date. I want to limit the amount of new women I go out with per week but I will admit, it's been fun since I've been keeping it cheap.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

It's always amusing seeing girls you've already slept with on new apps. We're all still out there, playing the great game. Godspeed, Hot Jewish Girl Whom I Saw Do Stand-Up About Relationships When I Was Actually on Another Date.

Also, I don't even know how Bumble's working for me. The quality of women is definitely higher than OKCupid, which is a cesspool these days.

 

[Lulubop]

I just wanna get her to my bed, anything after that is a bonus tbqh. She's just a gorgeous girl who can live that lifestyle. That's fine, I just want other date. Not a big deal either way.

The first time around Bumble matches were few and far between, but they were really high quality. This time I'm getting more matches but it's just Tinder now. That girl I met on Saturday at the Gaf thing was from Bumble. Pretty tall, cute Jewish girl too. She kept wanting to hang but I couldn't, then flaked on me today when I said I could. *Shrug*

 

[Jhoan]

Day 3/4 of back to back dates with the 36 year old is in the bag. It was yet another solid date for me. I swear either Lulubop's papi chulo confidence aura rubbed off on me or I'm on a hot streak lately and discovered newfound confidence because this is amazing!

So I met her up her at the Starbucks near my house and decided to walk to one of the bigger parks in the area. As she mentioned in her profile, she's someone who's turned on by intellectual discussions on social issues which I delivered in spades talking about gentrification and local politics and the works. It was another case of someone who looked as good if not better in person.

We actually ended walking to another park further up north in the next neighborhood. It was very relaxing. Who knew walks in the parks make better dates than talking at a bar/coffee shop with drinks? Saw the Big Dipper and a few raccoons at the park but we had to leave as the park closed at 10PM.

In the end I walked her all the way to her building. She said she would have invited me up to have some wine but her place was a mess so you guys can infer where that's going to lead next date; she lives alone with her dog and teaches at a college in the neighboring state. Definitely will be seeing her again for sure and text her.

The 23 year old year old agreed to do it again so I'll send her plans for the next one tomorrow for the Sunday.

Date 4/4 of the back to back dating gauntlet is tomorrow. Med school girl confirmed for the evening so the stage is set. To be continued...

 

[Salamando]

Just had myself a sitcom moment. There's this girl whom I've been friends with for a few months. Went on a thing with her two weekends ago, asked her out last friday, and had a proper date last weekend. She invited me to watch her perform Improv tonight with her class.

Turns out a girl I had a fling with was in the same class! We had went out for a month last year, I broke it off because she mentioned how she used men in previous relationships and I saw hints of it happening between us. Namely, she never offered to pay for anything, and would frequently booty call me, by which I mean she came over and the pleasure was all about her.

I have no idea if she recognized me, but damn was it weird recognizing that you made out with 2/3s of the three headed opera singer on stage. I got out of there, 'cause I so wasn't trying to tell new lady-friend how I knew her.

 

[Jhoan]

Just had myself a sitcom moment. There's this girl whom I've been friends with for a few months. Went on a thing with her two weekends ago, asked her out last friday, and had a proper date last weekend. She invited me to watch her perform Improv tonight with her class.

Turns out a girl I had a fling with was in the same class! We had went out for a month last year, I broke it off because she mentioned how she used men in previous relationships and I saw hints of it happening between us. Namely, she never offered to pay for anything, and would frequently booty call me, by which I mean she came over and the pleasure was all about her.

I have no idea if she recognized me, but damn was it weird recognizing that you made out with 2/3s of the three headed opera singer on stage. I got out of there, 'cause I so wasn't trying to tell new lady-friend how I knew her.

This was hilarious! I don't blame you for bailing out once you had that epiphany and recognized her. It would have been super awkward.

I damn near saw an old friend/neighbor who I recognized instantly while on said date yesterday since I have him added on Facebook but he was oblivious to me and was with his father as we were leaving the park.

 

[ZackieChan]

You guys grow up so fast. So proud of all of you. 🙆

 

[GK86]

Glad it's going well, Jhoan!

 

[Lulubop]

Day 3/4 of back to back dates with the 36 year old is in the bag. It was yet another solid date for me. I swear either Lulubop's papi chulo confidence aura rubbed off on me or I'm on a hot streak lately and discovered newfound confidence because this is amazing!

So I met her up her at the Starbucks near my house and decided to walk to one of the bigger parks in the area. As she mentioned in her profile, she's someone who's turned on by intellectual discussions on social issues which I delivered in spades talking about gentrification and local politics and the works. It was another case of someone who looked as good if not better in person.

We actually ended walking to another park further up north in the next neighborhood. It was very relaxing. Who knew walks in the parks make better dates than talking at a bar/coffee shop with drinks? Saw the Big Dipper and a few raccoons at the park but we had to leave as the park closed at 10PM.

In the end I walked her all the way to her building. She said she would have invited me up to have some wine but her place was a mess so you guys can infer where that's going to lead next date; she lives alone with her dog and teaches at a college in the neighboring state. Definitely will be seeing her again for sure and text her.

The 23 year old year old agreed to do it again so I'll send her plans for the next one tomorrow for the Sunday.

Date 4/4 of the back to back dating gauntlet is tomorrow. Med school girl confirmed for the evening so the stage is set. To be continued...

I may be pretty confident when it comes to online dating, but I have no confidence in picking someone up at a bar. I guess the knowing that there's an attraction beforehand helps. It's definitely something I'd like to work on, but I always fall back to swiping.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

When I reactivated my OKC profile after my last relationship, I started messaging a girl who seemed vaguely familiar. It wasn't until we swapped names that we realized we actually had met before, years ago (my name is rather unique). She was actually seeing someone at the time (it's a long story) and since then we'd both made new profiles and changed pictures. Amazing what a few years can do to a person.

 

[ZackieChan]

I may be pretty confident when it comes to online dating, but I have no confidence in picking someone up at a bar. I guess the knowing that there's an attraction beforehand helps. It's definitely something I'd like to work on, but I always fall back to swiping.

I'm the same way, unless I'm in "give no fucks" mode. I think if you're moderately successful with OLD, there's no reason to work on that IRL game. Many in these threads seem to be the other way around, which is totally fine.

 

[friday]

I'm the same way, unless I'm in "give no fucks" mode. I think if you're moderately successful with OLD, there's no reason to work on that IRL game. Many in these threads seem to be the other way around, which is totally fine.

I guess I feel the same way. Also, when I go out it's usually to meet up with friends and get kinda drunk. Trying to talk to women feels like it would get in the way of the fun.

 

[Jhoan]

Today's date got canned at the last half hour. The girl said that she hasn't had a night off to herself in months. I told her to text me after she gets back from visiting her folks but I also told her to give me the heads up if she has a busy week ahead of time and doesn't have time to meet up.

I'm a little bit disappointed since I got all excited for nothing but at least I cleaned my room and mopped it for the first time in months. This was the second time she canned on me at the last minute so I'm pretty much going to move on and keep playing the game since I left the ball in her court.

At least I have the night off after 3 back to back dates and can work on some art while sipping a beer.

I haven't heard anything back from the Monday girl since I texted her at midnight on Tuesday. How much longer should I wait before I following up with her?

 

[Lulubop]

How she feels isn't going to change depending on when you text. Just see what's up. I'd definitely delete the other girls number. I got a 1 flake and your out policy these days. Though I can be flaked myself

 

[qcf x2]

I kinda envy you guys with your online dating stories. I have an extraordinarily low Tinder match rate. I'm a good looking guy, by my own standards and by what others tell me. I'm tall, athletic/lift weights, blah blah blah. Bald but it doesn't kill my confidence. Anyway my personal theory is it's a regional thing. I tested this theory 2 yrs ago when I flew cross-country. I had a 20 minute layover in Atlanta and used Tinder for funsies... by the time I had landed on the West coast I had more likes than I had received in literally several months. During my time on the West coast it was like the floodgates opened, I had something like a 50% match rate, it was insane.

Maybe I just need to move. :-\ But then again, I have friends here who get matches on Tinder so I dunno.

 

[ZackieChan]

Get better photos. Move to a city. That'll probably do it for you.

 

[Jhoan]

I got a bit buzzed. At least the 36 year old has been responding. I deleted the other girl's number/texts. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

 

[Pancake Mix]

I'm too scared to put my picture out there for Tinder or whatever. What if someone I know sees me?

I also don't know how to have non-superficial conversations with people I don't know extremely well and am pretty isolated socially. Online dating makes it seem easier, but still...

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

I'm too scared to put my picture out there for Tinder or whatever. What if someone I know sees me?

I also don't know how to have non-superficial conversations with people I don't know extremely well and am pretty isolated socially. Online dating makes it seem easier, but still...

So, I just saw someone I knew tonight on Bumble. I texted her and teased the fuck out of her. But she's my best friend.

Guess what? No one gives a shit.

Learn how to talk to people. How you meet them, exactly, doesn't matter.

 

[Salamando]

I'm too scared to put my picture out there for Tinder or whatever. What if someone I know sees me?

I also don't know how to have non-superficial conversations with people I don't know extremely well and am pretty isolated socially. Online dating makes it seem easier, but still...

If someone you know sees you, they'll be on Tinder too. Most people aren't going to care. If they do there's no shit they can throw at you than they can't throw back. And fuck 'em if they get malicious. "Oh no, EleventhHour is trying to meet a girl. The horror! He seeks companionship!" People who make a big deal of it aren't people you need in your life.

If you want to get better at talking to people, just practice. Join meetup, find a group your interested in, and talk.

 

[huxley00]

Haven't been back to GAF in quite a while. Been dating the same woman I met on OKCupid for about 8 months. She messaged me about Black Mirror and the rest is history.

Just keep at it, try to work out, keep it light and go on as many dates as possible. Online dating sucks, its hard, so many ups, downs, sideways and everything else but you just have to keep on going.

 

[huxley00]

I'm too scared to put my picture out there for Tinder or whatever. What if someone I know sees me?

I also don't know how to have non-superficial conversations with people I don't know extremely well and am pretty isolated socially. Online dating makes it seem easier, but still...

Nobody cares. This isn't 2006, online dating is the norm and is completely acceptable. If anything, you'd probably hear some good stories from them and possibly even get some tips.

 

[thestopsign]

So I went on a date with the girl I mentioned on the last page and she was still attractive, but definitely a little chubby (I really prefer athletic body types). We had some drinks and then drove back to my place and we ended up sleeping together.

I think that was a mistake on my end because I wasn't entirely into her and I think she is way more into me... especially since we slept together. She wants to go on a movie date tonight, which I'm about to agree to. I think I'm just going to talk to her on the date about how I'm not really sure I want something super serious right now and see how she takes it. If she says she does want something more serious than that can be a reason to not continue seeing each other.

 

[friday]

So I went on a date with the girl I mentioned on the last page and she was still attractive, but definitely a little chubby (I really prefer athletic body types). We had some drinks and then drove back to my place and we ended up sleeping together.

I think that was a mistake on my end because I wasn't entirely into her and I think she is way more into me... especially since we slept together. She wants to go on a movie date tonight, which I'm about to agree to. I think I'm just going to talk to her on the date about how I'm not really sure I want something super serious right now and see how she takes it. If she says she does want something more serious than that can be a reason to not continue seeing each other.

Just let her know how you feel in a polite way. Maybe she is also looking for something casual so win win.

 

[EchoChamber]

So I'm going to use this tinder thing...and I don't have any idea to write something in my bio can you help me GAF

 

[ZackieChan]

So I'm going to use this tinder thing...and I don't have any idea to write something in my bio can you help me GAF

How were you expecting us to help you when you dont post anything about yourself?

Just put one sentence with some basic but interesting facts about you. It's all about the photos. Make them good.

 

[thestopsign]

Just let her know how you feel in a polite way. Maybe she is also looking for something casual so win win.

That is the plan.

 

[EchoChamber]

How were you expecting us to help you when you dont post anything about yourself?

Just put one sentence with some basic but interesting facts about you. It's all about the photos. Make them good.

Oh ok ok I see thanks.

 

[FLAguy954]

I got a bit buzzed. At least the 36 year old has been responding. I deleted the other girl's number/texts. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Truer words have not been spoken lol.

It's a no-go with one of the girls I asked out tonight (she had to say at work late which messed with the meet-up time). I might slow fade her if we can't meet-up sometime next week. I asked another girl out as a backup so we'll be meeting up tonight. I also have bowling setup tomorrow night with another girl (and she's the best communicator of the bunch, very refreshing lol).

 

[Lulubop]

Actually got invited to this asian girl's house like straight away today. Was fun 😎