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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond

K

Kurtofan

Member
an honest to god message I just sent to a girl (who is online) "So, Brexit. Good or bad for capitalism? Opinions vary."

i guess i was feeling wild

edit: in my defence, her profile says she's a polyamourous vegan communist. she wants to smash capitalism.

I can confirm that this didn't work.
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
Lulubop said:
kanye-west-laugh.gif
Click to expand...

😎😎😎

Leeness said:
No... That's "you sound uncomplicated" or "easygoing".

"You look simple" is "you look dumb". 😑
Click to expand...

I don't agree. It has two meanings. But it isn't worth getting upset about, that's for sure. I'm sure you've developed a thick skin from horrible messages by now. I can't imagine the things that women get sent.

Kurtofan said:
does this website give bad advice?

http://www.whattosaytogirls.com/

it seems innocuous? it doesn't seem like one of those terrible sites I hear about
Click to expand...

Meh, basic advice. I'd argue that the "terrible" sites (which I assume are pick up artist sites) might be better for instilling an overall shift in confidence. Just strip away anything that seems super creepy or woman hating.
 
J

Jhoan

Member
Sweet Jesus! Lulubop is El Papi Chulo Supreme! Duder met up for an instant Bumble date at the bar I'm at with a few GAF members. I don't mess with that. That's a whole other level although I got an idea for a pic that he took that I will crib. Expect to hear a post from him tomorrow. We left him be.
 
K

Kurtofan

Member
Okcupid, how many first messages do guys usually receive? I've received two in a month ^^, really surprised about this.

edit: third :p
 
L

Lulubop

Member
Jhoan said:
Sweet Jesus! Lulubop is El Papi Chulo Supreme! Duder met up for an instant Bumble date at the bar I'm at with a few GAF members. I don't mess with that. That's a whole other level although I got an idea for a pic that he took that I will crib. Expect to hear a post from him tomorrow. We left him be.
Click to expand...

My bad, I was gonna head out to her but she wanted to come to where I was. Probably would have left soon anyway, sorry if it was kinda rude though. She was all over me pretty quickly and wanted me to go over to her place. I was like k. Also I was pretty hammered. Good times though, we should get together more often. I need more bros.
 
J

Jhoan

Member
Lulubop said:
My bad, I was gonna head out to her but she wanted to come to where I was. Probably would have left soon anyway, sorry if it was kinda rude though. She was all over me pretty quickly and wanted me to go over to her place. I was like k. Also I was pretty hammered. Good times though, we should get together more often. I need more bros.
Click to expand...
Not at all man! We knew and understood that you needed to be left alone to do your thing so no worries! You and GK86 got some stories to swap. Glad you had a good time literally and figuratively. ;)

I wanted to play that 4 player Pacman game so badly. The beach would be a great idea for a future one because of photo ops and what have you so will pitch it in the thread. I liked how everyone had a dating app or two installed on their phone.

Back on topic: I found another dog with a rose GIF before I dozed off last night that I will use going forward. It's too bad Tinder keeps crashing and periodically logging out.
 
G

GK86

Homeland Security Fail
I get matched up most of the time when I super like. But I rarely get dates from it.

Also, read the profile before you super like. There are women that find the use of it to be creepy for whatever reason.
 
T

True Savior

Member
My rate with superlikes being matched is much higher than a normal swipe. Considering I only use it with the profiles I really really like, I find the results amazing. Girls, especially on Tinder, like attention. The standout seems to work. Many gals end up asking why I did it and they always like that I tell them they standout from the rest. I think it works especially cause the probability of them going through your profile , checking it out, reading is much higher.

I used Plus a few months ago and super liked 10 girls per day and my matches got really high and much better ones.

Lately I just swipe left until I find a profile I like and I superlike it. One per day. That's how much I like the feature. I stopped swiping right.

Creepy profiles are creepy though.
 
P

Pasta_Soup

Member
True Savior said:
My rate with superlikes being matched is much higher than a normal swipe. Considering I only use it with the profiles I really really like, I find the results amazing. Girls, especially on Tinder, like attention. The standout seems to work. Many gals end up asking why I did it and they always like that I tell them they standout from the rest. I think it works especially cause the probability of them going through your profile , checking it out, reading is much higher.

I used Plus a few months ago and super liked 10 girls per day and my matches got really high and much better ones.

Lately I just swipe left until I find a profile I like and I superlike it. One per day. That's how much I like the feature. I stopped swiping right.

Creepy profiles are creepy though.
Click to expand...

Pretty much my same experience with Tinder Plus. XD
 
L

Leeness

Member
ZackieChan said:
I don't agree. It has two meanings. But it isn't worth getting upset about, that's for sure. I'm sure you've developed a thick skin from horrible messages by now. I can't imagine the things that women get sent.
Click to expand...

Eh, I'm not messaged enough to get most of the horrible messages, which is why insults stand out to me.

Vard said:
Tinder's Super Likes... Good or bad idea to use them? Or rather, anyone have success from using them?
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I have never swiped right on a super like because every single super like on me has been someone who looks either like they belong on an MRA website or like they will kill me. :|

I mean obviously your mileage may vary but the only people I attract are dudes in fedoras and potential serial killers. :|
 
S

Symphonia

Banned
Leeness said:
I mean obviously your mileage may vary but the only people I attract are dudes in fedoras and potential serial killers. :|
Click to expand...
That's better than what I usually get. Which is nothing.

And on the rare occasion I do get a match, I'm the one starting conversation.
 
F

friday

Member
Vard said:
Tinder's Super Likes... Good or bad idea to use them? Or rather, anyone have success from using them?
Click to expand...

I never use the super like so I can't really comment, but I accidentally used it recently on the craziest fucking girl. He profile description was something along the lines of "Men's rights supporter, mother of a toddler, submissive." There was some other crazy shit in there but those are the highlights. White knight dream girl.
 
K

Kurtofan

Member
I fucked up. I sent a girl who stopped replying me after I replied to her "was my message so bad?^^"

she actually answered "sorry that's not it at all! I was busy because I had to deal with something bad"

good god I am such a tit.

edit: how many people can you guys talk to at the same time? I know you said talk to more girls, but I'm up to seven in three days, I'm pretty overwhelmed. There are some people I'd rather let go but I'm not sure how to do it.
 
A

AlephAlpha

Member
Kurtofan said:
I fucked up. I sent a girl who stopped replying me after I replied to her "was my message so bad?^^"

she actually answered "sorry that's not it at all! I was busy because I had to deal with something bad"

good god I am such a tit.
Click to expand...

Oh boy. In the future, give yourself a 24 hour time out before acting on some bad emotions. I guess you already know now that there is no possible positive outcome for sending such a message.

edit: how many people can you guys talk to at the same time? I know you said talk to more girls, but I'm up to six in three days, I'm pretty overwhelmed. There are some people I'd rather let go but I'm not sure how to do it.
Click to expand...

You can either make your answers shorter and shorter without asking any questions yourself and bringing up discussion topics, or you can ghost.
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
Kurtofan said:
I fucked up. I sent a girl who stopped replying me after I replied to her "was my message so bad?^^"

she actually answered "sorry that's not it at all! I was busy because I had to deal with something bad"

good god I am such a tit.

edit: how many people can you guys talk to at the same time? I know you said talk to more girls, but I'm up to seven in three days, I'm pretty overwhelmed. There are some people I'd rather let go but I'm not sure how to do it.
Click to expand...

All you had to lose was your self respect.

I have a bunch of girls I'm messaging sporadically. I just check in every few days or let them message me first. The real question is why are you messaging 7 women but not going on any dates?
 
G

gwailo

Banned
ZackieChan said:
All you had to lose was your self respect.

I have a bunch of girls I'm messaging sporadically. I just check in every few days or let them message me first. The real question is why are you messaging 7 women but not going on any dates?
Click to expand...

I'm honestly thinking most (all?) of them are bots/camgirls/catfishers.
 
P

Phoenix944

Member
I created an account on a dating website last week. I got several conversation already but I don't think I've managed to impress yet :/
I'm not use to this clearly but I feel like every conversation is an interview. They ask me question like "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" or "how is a good relationships according to you?". I'm more stressed out that actual job interviews lol

Oh and I've learned (the hard way) that I should not mention my love for videogames or manga. It's apparently a huge turnoff xD
 
G

gwailo

Banned
I once had someone send me a 50 question test. I learned to not even bother with those sorts of people. They will always find something to nitpick or find wrong/undesirable. You could be Brad Pitt riding a unicorn that craps out gold bricks and they would still not date you because the unicorn is brown instead of white.

The games/manga thing is ok, but you have to make it seem like it isn't your only interest or hobby (which it shouldn't be to begin with). You don't want to seem like a shut in basement dweller.
 
P

Phoenix944

Member
gwailo said:
I once had someone send me a 50 question test. I learned to not even bother with those sorts of people. They will always find something to nitpick or find wrong/undesirable. You could be Brad Pitt riding a unicorn that craps out gold bricks and they would still not date you because the unicorn is brown instead of white.

The games/manga thing is ok, but you have to make it seem like it isn't your only interest or hobby (which it shouldn't be to begin with). You don't want to seem like a shut in basement dweller.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately it is my main hobby (by far). I was secretly hopping for someone with the same hobbies but I'll give up.
Well then, back I go!
 
G

gwailo

Banned
Maybe try going to a con or joining local meetup groups then. If all you are searching for and connecting on is media/pop culture references and likes, you're just going to end up as friends as best -- but more than likely internet chat buddies whose relationship will never progress past messages on an app.
 
P

Phoenix944

Member
gwailo said:
Maybe try going to a con or joining local meetup groups then. If all you are searching for and connecting on is media/pop culture references and likes, you're just going to end up as friends as best -- but more than likely internet chat buddies whose relationship will never progress past messages on an app.
Click to expand...

That's true, but it seems kind of...intimidating...
I thought I would have higher chance to speak with people online (and so far I kinda had :p). But I'll keep that in mind
 
J

Jhoan

Member
So after speaking to my therapist, he said that I need to go on more second and third dates since I dismiss women too easily on the first date and cited Aziz Ansari's book again about that getting to know someone takes a few dates before deciding to dismiss them. He said that I'm not meeting my future wife/girlfriend but to give them a chance. So my biggest obstacle/challenge that I have to overcome now is getting to know someone who I might not have clicked with on the first date.

It's a bit uncomfortable for me to do that. I argued that it has to be a Fuck yes/fuck no thing ala what Mark Manson wrote in an article. Am I being too unreasonable with my standards?

Case in point: I'm meeting up with a 32 year old in about 1.5 hrs but not thrilled about it. Tomorrow it's a 23rd year old, Wednesday it's a 36 year old who lives in my neighborhood. However, it was the med school girl who I saw a few weeks ago that I felt like I really hit it off with so far but has been elusive. I followed up with her today but got nothing yet so far. Still keeping my options open and no getting my eggs in one basket.
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
I suppose I'm going to ease back into dating again, albeit with parameters. Basically, I'm not going to respond to any messages unless I'm super interested. I'm not interested in dating a ton of people, either -- I'd rather spend time with friends. And I really don't feel like initiating conversations. This is truly the definition of "if something happens, okay."

I almost don't want to do it, but there's allegedly something to be said for having fun. I'll just need to not date anyone that my bff here hasn't properly vetted, because she's been right about everything thus far.

Edit: Wow, none of the people around me seem remotely interesting. Disappointing.
 
E

electricshake

Member
Jhoan said:
So after speaking to my therapist, he said that I need to go on more second and third dates since I dismiss women too easily on the first date and cited Aziz Ansari's book again about that getting to know someone takes a few dates before deciding to dismiss them. He said that I'm not meeting my future wife/girlfriend but to give them a chance. So my biggest obstacle/challenge that I have to overcome now is getting to know someone who I might not have clicked with on the first date.

It's a bit uncomfortable for me to do that. I argued that it has to be a Fuck yes/fuck no thing ala what Mark Manson wrote in an article. Am I being too unreasonable with my standards?

Case in point: I'm meeting up with a 32 year old in about 1.5 hrs but not thrilled about it. Tomorrow it's a 23rd year old, Wednesday it's a 36 year old who lives in my neighborhood. However, it was the med school girl who I saw a few weeks ago that I felt like I really hit it off with so far but has been elusive. I followed up with her today but got nothing yet so far. Still keeping my options open and no getting my eggs in one basket.
Click to expand...

You don't necessarily have chemistry right away, sometimes it takes a little bit of time for it to show. At least for me, dating was nerve wracking, especially first dates. So maybe that hinders chemistry.

I don't disagree with the 'fuck yeh' thing but I don't think you can always know straight away. I know you go on a lot of first dates but not many subsequent so why not give it a go? Make them cheap or free dates and you're not losing a lot.
 
L

Lone_Prodigy

Member
Jhoan said:
So after speaking to my therapist, he said that I need to go on more second and third dates since I dismiss women too easily on the first date and cited Aziz Ansari's book again about that getting to know someone takes a few dates before deciding to dismiss them. He said that I'm not meeting my future wife/girlfriend but to give them a chance. So my biggest obstacle/challenge that I have to overcome now is getting to know someone who I might not have clicked with on the first date.

It's a bit uncomfortable for me to do that. I argued that it has to be a Fuck yes/fuck no thing ala what Mark Manson wrote in an article. Am I being too unreasonable with my standards?

Case in point: I'm meeting up with a 32 year old in about 1.5 hrs but not thrilled about it. Tomorrow it's a 23rd year old, Wednesday it's a 36 year old who lives in my neighborhood. However, it was the med school girl who I saw a few weeks ago that I felt like I really hit it off with so far but has been elusive. I followed up with her today but got nothing yet so far. Still keeping my options open and no getting my eggs in one basket.
Click to expand...

Don't date for the sake of dating, but at the same time don't dismiss someone before you even meet them.

There isn't much of a difference between meeting someone for a first date and meeting them for a second. In both scenarios, you're figuring out the kind of person they are, and whether you have chemistry. Some people are heavily guarded on the first date, lest they meet someone interested in practicing blood sacrifices on them. Meet them again in a different environment and maybe they'll surprise you (or you'll surprise yourself).

Advocatus Diaboli said:
I suppose I'm going to ease back into dating again, albeit with parameters. Basically, I'm not going to respond to any messages unless I'm super interested. I'm not interested in dating a ton of people, either -- I'd rather spend time with friends. And I really don't feel like initiating conversations. This is truly the definition of "if something happens, okay."

I almost don't want to do it, but there's allegedly something to be said for having fun. I'll just need to not date anyone that my bff here hasn't properly vetted, because she's been right about everything thus far.

Edit: Wow, none of the people around me seem remotely interesting. Disappointing.
Click to expand...

It's okay to be picky, but make sure you know what you want. IIRC, you've never had trouble getting interest and you're more of the "quality over quantity" type, and (yet) that's how you met your ex. Do you think things will be different this time around?
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
Started chatting with a girl on the People Nearby feature on WeChat. We just hung out in Bangkok for like 4 hours. I almost jokingly offered for her to stay over tonight, even though she made it clear she's not interested in a romantic relationship with a dude who is staying here only a week. Get home and text her that jokingly, and she says "why didn't you say it before?"

Note to self: go with your gut. I bet she'll come over anyway - it's a $2 cab ride for her to get here 😉
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
Lone_Prodigy said:
It's okay to be picky, but make sure you know what you want. IIRC, you've never had trouble getting interest and you're more of the "quality over quantity" type, and (yet) that's how you met your ex. Do you think things will be different this time around?
Click to expand...

You're absolutely right. Believe me, that's the key piece of insight I'd like to learn from. I had a long talk with my bff about this, and she basically explained that where I'm meeting people wasn't the problem, but that I didn't know when to cut bait for certain kinds of people. For those that I didn't click with or who bored me, it was easy. When I'm referring to them with nicknames like "Fish Lips" and "Cider Girl," it's not hard at all.

My problem, on the other hand, is that I'm too invested in the idea of "building a relationship." Which is absolutely true, but it takes more than attraction and effort. It takes certain personalities that do gel together.

Basically, I'm better at spotting red flags. I don't know if things will be much better this time around, but they'll definitely be different.
 
L

Lulubop

Member
I mentioned a few weeks ago that I had an amazing date and instant chemistry with this girl who was about to leave the city and travel all around the world for an entire year. Well since then, we when on more dates and the chemistry was electric. I had a really great time with her, but today was the her last day here. It more emotional than we thought. I would love to see her again, and she said she really fell in love with the city so she'll most likely come back. A year is a long time, so we'll see.
 
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