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Sexual Body Language: Every Guy can learn this
- Thread starter Cubsfan23
- Start date
Bizarro Sun Yat-sen
Banned
That sounds pretty awesome. Now I want to be an attractive woman so I can do this stuff. Anyone know how I could go about becoming one?
kumanoki said:
nah, you don't understand. they're biologically tuned to be sexified by these motions, as noted in the article. they can say its stupid all they want, but if they get a glimpse of you doing it, something inside them just makes them fall on your crotch.
JackFrost2012
Banned
Old and Busted: cocky and funny
The New Hotness: cocky, funny, and popeye
The New Hotness: cocky, funny, and popeye
V
Vennt
Unconfirmed Member
Shit!!! :/
For 'giggles' I showed my significant other this thread, she laughed SOOO long & hard that I couldn't get back on my PC for like, 10 minutes.
Now she says shes gonna register so she can read more "comedy gold"
I might have to get bishop to strategically deny an application for me, can't have that OOOOOH no....
*gulp*
For 'giggles' I showed my significant other this thread, she laughed SOOO long & hard that I couldn't get back on my PC for like, 10 minutes.
Now she says shes gonna register so she can read more "comedy gold"
I might have to get bishop to strategically deny an application for me, can't have that OOOOOH no....
*gulp*
With this whole emo culture thing, women like pansies and wear shirts that say "i love nerds".
....funny thing is, "I love nerds" is just her agenda to carry out intuitive power (read Nietzche). She doesn't necesarily love fat boys with pimples that play on LANs for hours (GAF???). There just simply no attractive value to that!
....funny thing is, "I love nerds" is just her agenda to carry out intuitive power (read Nietzche). She doesn't necesarily love fat boys with pimples that play on LANs for hours (GAF???). There just simply no attractive value to that!
demon said:Sorry, but that's kinda bullshit. Posture and the way you carry yourself does say a lot about you, and I used to have a posture problem. Not a real problem per se, but I used to have a really weak, passive posture. I've changed that, and I do feel a lot better about myself when I'm out and around people, and it has improved my overall image.
Although I do find something funny about the idea of always standing and walking around with your feet wider than your shoulders.
lol that's only when you're standing, not when you're walking
Property of Jumpship
Banned
"Just pretend as if there is a giant string tied to your belt that is gently pulling you along as you are walking."
If I do this my beer belly with stick out even further. Not good advice.
If I do this my beer belly with stick out even further. Not good advice.
OK.
Just for giggles, I decided to try out this new walk during my lunch break. I usually stroll around downtown Vancouver for some exercise, so what the hell, right?
12:01pm - Tim crotch-saunters past reception. No visible response from the ladies hard at work.
12:03pm - Tim crotch-saunters outside past some construction workers. Tim earns some funny looks, but Tim doesn't care because he is gonna get some womens.
12:04pm - Tim crotch-saunters to a stop at a red-light. While waiting for the walk signal, Tim looks over to the young lady beside him and smiles. She smiles back. HOLY SHIT IT WORKS
12:12pm - Tim crotch-saunters into Vera's Meat Shack for a burger "You can't beat Vera's Meat" the tagline says, but today there's a new meat that's ready for beating and it's pointing the way to the counter. Tim orders a lamb burger with mushrooms and feta cheese. The guy behind the counter does not mention Tim's protruding pelvis, but that is because he is mad jealous.
12:15pm - Tim nods at an older woman who is waiting for her sandwich. She smiles back. Tim is a sexual firecracker and his fuse is lit.
12:20pm - Tim receives his burger and crotch-saunters towards the shop door. At the opening, Tim turns slightly and gives the "Magnum" look over his shoulder toward the other patrons. No visible response. Other patrons are obviously blind/racist/eunuchs.
12:24 - Tim crotch-saunters into the local 7-11. Guy behind the counter smiles. It appears that the crotch-saunter works not only on women, but men as well. This is dangerous stuff - with great power comes great responsibility. Tim resolves to only use the crotch-saunter on women of child-bearing age, as to not confuse and break the hearts of Vancouver's gay male community. Or ugly chicks. Or fat chicks. Or fat ugly chicks.
12:25 - Tim purchases a Monster drink, to celebrate his new-found status as a sex-sandwich on stilts. Guy behind counter continues to smile. Tim is slightly unnerved.
12:31 - Tim crotch-saunters past a bus stop, where two attractive college-age ladies are having a conversation. Tim turns down the crotch-saunter to a crotch-stroll, letting the females get a good, long look at what they didn't even know they were missing. One of the women smiles, then the two of them giggle. It is patently obvious that they cannot wait to molest Tim behind some bushes.
12:38 - Tim crotch-saunters back into his workplace, passes his boss. Boss asks, "Did you hurt yourself? Why are you walking like that?". Boss is obviously intimidated by Tim's ability to attract women into clamouring for his genetic material. Tim smiles quietly to himself before crotch-sauntering past reception one more time for good measure. Receptionist looks up and says "hello". Tim has GOT IT.
12:40 - Tim rewards himself for sharing the wealth (DON'T TOUCH THE MERCHANDISE) with Vancouver ladies by polishing off his lamb burger and Monster drink at his desk.
This is some pretty potent shit.
Just for giggles, I decided to try out this new walk during my lunch break. I usually stroll around downtown Vancouver for some exercise, so what the hell, right?
12:01pm - Tim crotch-saunters past reception. No visible response from the ladies hard at work.
12:03pm - Tim crotch-saunters outside past some construction workers. Tim earns some funny looks, but Tim doesn't care because he is gonna get some womens.
12:04pm - Tim crotch-saunters to a stop at a red-light. While waiting for the walk signal, Tim looks over to the young lady beside him and smiles. She smiles back. HOLY SHIT IT WORKS
12:12pm - Tim crotch-saunters into Vera's Meat Shack for a burger "You can't beat Vera's Meat" the tagline says, but today there's a new meat that's ready for beating and it's pointing the way to the counter. Tim orders a lamb burger with mushrooms and feta cheese. The guy behind the counter does not mention Tim's protruding pelvis, but that is because he is mad jealous.
12:15pm - Tim nods at an older woman who is waiting for her sandwich. She smiles back. Tim is a sexual firecracker and his fuse is lit.
12:20pm - Tim receives his burger and crotch-saunters towards the shop door. At the opening, Tim turns slightly and gives the "Magnum" look over his shoulder toward the other patrons. No visible response. Other patrons are obviously blind/racist/eunuchs.
12:24 - Tim crotch-saunters into the local 7-11. Guy behind the counter smiles. It appears that the crotch-saunter works not only on women, but men as well. This is dangerous stuff - with great power comes great responsibility. Tim resolves to only use the crotch-saunter on women of child-bearing age, as to not confuse and break the hearts of Vancouver's gay male community. Or ugly chicks. Or fat chicks. Or fat ugly chicks.
12:25 - Tim purchases a Monster drink, to celebrate his new-found status as a sex-sandwich on stilts. Guy behind counter continues to smile. Tim is slightly unnerved.
12:31 - Tim crotch-saunters past a bus stop, where two attractive college-age ladies are having a conversation. Tim turns down the crotch-saunter to a crotch-stroll, letting the females get a good, long look at what they didn't even know they were missing. One of the women smiles, then the two of them giggle. It is patently obvious that they cannot wait to molest Tim behind some bushes.
12:38 - Tim crotch-saunters back into his workplace, passes his boss. Boss asks, "Did you hurt yourself? Why are you walking like that?". Boss is obviously intimidated by Tim's ability to attract women into clamouring for his genetic material. Tim smiles quietly to himself before crotch-sauntering past reception one more time for good measure. Receptionist looks up and says "hello". Tim has GOT IT.
12:40 - Tim rewards himself for sharing the wealth (DON'T TOUCH THE MERCHANDISE) with Vancouver ladies by polishing off his lamb burger and Monster drink at his desk.
This is some pretty potent shit.
V
Vennt
Unconfirmed Member
:lol - Oh my, Fucking genius! - "Crotch-Saunter" just entered my vocabulary, and is being suggested to a guitarist friend as a song-title, it needs immortalizing :lol :lol :lol
*wipes away tears*
*wipes away tears*
V
Vennt
Unconfirmed Member
Done & Done... (He said "That's a go!" by the way )
His take on the title was (You'll love this)
"Crotch-Saunter Tim, The Vancouver Mover"
:lol
)His take on the title was (You'll love this
)"Crotch-Saunter Tim, The Vancouver Mover"
:lol
TheQueen'sOwn
insert blank space here
:lol