ZackieChan
Member
Sounds like you are vastly overstating the negative consequences of the influence of women. So you had one more drink?
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Sounds like you are vastly overstating the negative consequences of the influence of women. So you had one more drink?
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
I mean sure but that's also much different than going to a new release at a movie theater.
Blitzrules240
Banned
I just need to stop excessively drinking. Kinda want to try to work on myself. Get my shit together. 2016 has been all over the place for me.
ZackieChan
Member
Well, then, that's certainly something to work on. It just sounded like you were blaming women for your drinking too much, when that doesn't seem to be the issue.
I'm there with you, though - when I'm out drinking at a club or something, I've done some regretful and embarrassing things! I need to learn to keep it light and just drink enough to have fun.
william_557
Member
Ok
So this girl that i didn't know incredibly well in high school and i began talking a few weeks ago on messenger due to me going to uni with her cousin. The messaging has been going great and we seem to be getting along quite well. Originally we were going to catch up at my workplace (a pizzeria) but this didn't end up happening as she had come down with a cold
the other day the topic of cooking came up and she said i should come over for dinner one night when she's feeling better.
She seems really cool and interested but the reason i an telling you this is i'd like some advice as i haven't much experience in dating or anything just about what to expect and just general advice.
Thanks
So this girl that i didn't know incredibly well in high school and i began talking a few weeks ago on messenger due to me going to uni with her cousin. The messaging has been going great and we seem to be getting along quite well. Originally we were going to catch up at my workplace (a pizzeria) but this didn't end up happening as she had come down with a cold
the other day the topic of cooking came up and she said i should come over for dinner one night when she's feeling better.
She seems really cool and interested but the reason i an telling you this is i'd like some advice as i haven't much experience in dating or anything just about what to expect and just general advice.
Thanks
I didn't ask. I was kind of surprised she asked me out. I'm not in a hurry since she first messaged me two days ago, I barely know her, one month seems like an ok time to wait before a first date.
Nah it's cool, she sent me another message yesterday
she calls herself asocial, I don't think it's an act she puts on or something, I don't mind talking with someone even if it doesn't lead to anything (she's very clear on her page she doesn't get attracted to people very easily) .ZackieChan
Member
I didn't ask. I was kind of surprised she asked me out. I'm not in a hurry since she first messaged me two days ago, I barely know her, one month seems like an ok time to wait before a first date.
Nah it's cool, she sent me another message yesterday
One month is hella long before a date.
And it sounds like you're setting yourself up for huge disappointment. I've seen your posts in here, and I think that you'd be better serve spending time cultivating relationships that will be two sided. You're going to be posting in here a month from now getting sad that she's not reciprocating your investment. You DO mind talking to someone if it doesn't lead to anything! Otherwise why are you posting in the dating thread about it? Unless you're Izunadono, of course, but that's another story
One month is hella long before a date.
And it sounds like you're setting yourself up for huge disappointment. I've seen your posts in here, and I think that you'd be better serve spending time cultivating relationships that will be two sided. You're going to be posting in here a month from now getting sad that she's not reciprocating your investment. You DO mind talking to someone if it doesn't lead to anything! Otherwise why are you posting in the dating thread about it? Unless you're Izunadono, of course, but that's another story
you're probably right that one month is long, but right now I don't have any date ideas and I'm not that motivated. I have her number so we'll probably talk a bit more, maybe I'll suggest something else earlier if I can think of something.
I have a ton of work to do and all of this is very distracting honestly... not sure how to manage this and college (and my personal entertainment/activities). probably going to end up failing this year :/
ZackieChan
Member
College is first priority. That should be common sense. Don't fail, please. Chicks dig success.
And your date with one month girl doesn't have to be anything special. Does she go to your uni? Maybe you have a study date at the library or cafe? Maybe you just meet up for coffee or a drink? Don't make it a big deal.
I'm sad that no one thought my Indy 5 joke was funny
it comes out in 2019
no no I don't know her at all, she messaged me on okcupid literally two days ago at a 1 am, I tried to be flirty it seems it worked?
she gave me her number and told me she was deleting her okc account, which I thought was kind of weird.
College is first priority I agree, I'm just not a very motivated student, even before Girls happened, only it was video games taking my time back then lol
she gave me her number and told me she was deleting her okc account, which I thought was kind of weird.
College is first priority I agree, I'm just not a very motivated student, even before Girls happened, only it was video games taking my time back then lol
AlephAlpha
Member
3/10, just like Indy 4.
are tight clothes more attractive than loose clothes? I lost a lot of weight since last year (20 kilos) so I'm floating in my clothes a bit. When I was plump I hated wearing tight shit so I took larger stuff but now all my wardrobe is mostly comically large t shirts and jeans...
What kind of clothes are trendy while staying casual? for the summer now obvs, but also interested in winter stuff.
my size is 1.78m for 59 kilos., what kind of size should I take for stuff? Medium?
What kind of clothes are trendy while staying casual? for the summer now obvs, but also interested in winter stuff.
my size is 1.78m for 59 kilos., what kind of size should I take for stuff? Medium?
electricshake
Member
Clothes should fit. Too baggy or too tight isn't attractive. Size will depend on the shop/brand/country you are in.
Honestly kurtofan, with some of the questions you are asking in here it really sounds like you need to work on yourself and not think about dating right now.
Actually that applies to a lot of people in here. Some of you really need to take a hard look at yourselves. Would you date you? If not, why not? There's always things about yourself you can improve.
ZackieChan
Member
Part time.
You ask some odd questions. We have fashion-gaf for a reason.
But like the other poster said, clothes should fit you. Watch some episodes of What Not To Wear and pay attention to what Clinton Kelly says (or whatever his name is).
Benzychenz
Member
Been over 48 hours and the girl I went on a tinder date with that was playing footsies with me hasn't replied for a second date.
Guess that's that.
I mean, she could have just not checked tinder lately, but you'd think if she was excited about a second date she'd be on there checking every 10 minutes lol.
Guess that's that.
I mean, she could have just not checked tinder lately, but you'd think if she was excited about a second date she'd be on there checking every 10 minutes lol.
ZackieChan
Member
What's her GAF username?
Ask for the phone number while on the first date next time.
Got myself into quite a pickle Friday night. This really hot metal chick added me on FB monday. I accepted and she starts talking. I organised a date the day after. We meet up, walk around town and talk a lot. I don't quite feel it but she's gorgeous, has great music taste and is kinda brainy. Exactly what I think I'm looking for, I thought. She asks to come and hang at my place on Friday.
We hang, drink a bottle of wine, we talk, we share secrets, smoke weed and listen to Electric Wizard. It was great! She also mentions that it's really hard to "read me", etc... She wants to spend the night and proposes to sleep on the couch. I'm crossfaded and tell her that she can sleep next to me in my bed. She does. I wrap my arms around her and we start cuddling and making out... But then, she backs off. She tells me something she could barely get across her lips. Obviously I'm not going to tell you what it is, but it's really fucking touchy. It took a great deal of courage for her to tell me that. I respect her and don't really seem to mind... Then my mind starts going into overdrive. The fact that she entrusted me with such sensitive information proves that she confides in me. It made me realize it was only the second date and things were going way too fast for me. Then again I was the one that proposed she could stay the night. I kinda just wanted to schmang and see from there. At least that was my mindset then and there.
Things got awkward after that. She didn't know if she wanted to leave or stay. She kinda just shut down and fell asleep. We say our goodbyes the next day and I go to work. I think about it a lot during the day. When I get home, I text her, explaining myself. She replies that she is now more level headed than she was before because of what happened that night. She asks if we could see eachother again. I agree, because we had a great time.
I'm just afraid that I want nothing more than friendship and/or sex. Thinking about it non-stop it made me realise that. Is it wrong to meet up again then?
We hang, drink a bottle of wine, we talk, we share secrets, smoke weed and listen to Electric Wizard. It was great! She also mentions that it's really hard to "read me", etc... She wants to spend the night and proposes to sleep on the couch. I'm crossfaded and tell her that she can sleep next to me in my bed. She does. I wrap my arms around her and we start cuddling and making out... But then, she backs off. She tells me something she could barely get across her lips. Obviously I'm not going to tell you what it is, but it's really fucking touchy. It took a great deal of courage for her to tell me that. I respect her and don't really seem to mind... Then my mind starts going into overdrive. The fact that she entrusted me with such sensitive information proves that she confides in me. It made me realize it was only the second date and things were going way too fast for me. Then again I was the one that proposed she could stay the night. I kinda just wanted to schmang and see from there. At least that was my mindset then and there.
Things got awkward after that. She didn't know if she wanted to leave or stay. She kinda just shut down and fell asleep. We say our goodbyes the next day and I go to work. I think about it a lot during the day. When I get home, I text her, explaining myself. She replies that she is now more level headed than she was before because of what happened that night. She asks if we could see eachother again. I agree, because we had a great time.
I'm just afraid that I want nothing more than friendship and/or sex. Thinking about it non-stop it made me realise that. Is it wrong to meet up again then?
Benzychenz
Member
Yeah I know, I just forgot completely.
Kurtofan, you're making me facepalm in real life.
A date is what you're supposed to do to get to know someone. That the point of the first few! And you don't have any ideas for first dates? There's like a billion of them, recommended a trillion times in the thread.
If going out on a two hour date with someone ever once and a while is risking you failing college... tbh you have time management issues and you should work on fixing that. This is coming from someone whose poor time management skills had them actually drop out of college. (Well that wasn't the only reason but you get the idea)
A date is what you're supposed to do to get to know someone. That the point of the first few! And you don't have any ideas for first dates? There's like a billion of them, recommended a trillion times in the thread.
If going out on a two hour date with someone ever once and a while is risking you failing college... tbh you have time management issues and you should work on fixing that. This is coming from someone whose poor time management skills had them actually drop out of college. (Well that wasn't the only reason but you get the idea)
Pasta_Soup
Member
Just keep it light and have fun. Don't overthink things. Make sure when she's feeling better, and you set up a date, propose a specific place and time from the get-go. No wishy-washy, "oh, let's chill sometime next week." That shit never works.
This is definitely weird. I feel like I've seen comments like these from people online who just want attention and to endlessly chat - and judging by how your date isn't scheduled for another 4 weeks, I'd say it's probably true.
Dude, get their number while you're on Tinder, and before the date. Just transition the conversation to texting with their actual phone number after a several messages. You should avoid communicating on the app as much as possible.
Also, kiss the girl next time! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by doing so. Just do it.
You're overthinking this a bit, I think.
Most simple solution? Outright tell her what you're looking for - something casual. It's only "wrong" if you keep seeing her when you know you don't want anything serious but are just doing so for sex, while she's obviously interested in something more.
But it's still really early, you've seen each other once. And you're making a lot of assumptions. I'd hang out once more, see how it plays out. If she's revealing super deep secrets yet again, and it's freaking you out, be honest with your intentions. If she's not interested, oh well. You avoided something you didn't want and you'll meet plenty more women.
I was overthinking it the day after, yeah. And you're right. Was thinking the same thing, but I could have used some confirmation from a neutral source. Thanks!
Got a date planned with another girl this week either way!
User 479360
Banned
Why do bots and spammers create random profiles with pretty girls' pictures and no text? What's the point?
To get them to click the links they send out.
Banjo-Kazooie
Member
If you didn't get the number before the date then during or right as you're leaving would have been a very ideal and appropriate time to get it. Keep that in mind in the future
stn
Member
Just a lil' story for you guys, maybe good insight? I started chatting with a girl on POF some time ago. She then warned me that she'd be going on vacation for 2 weeks. I told her to have fun and message upon return. During that time I dropped contact and stayed firm to my proposal (I always believe that a girl who wants to meet or talk will do so!). She returned and messaged. Meeting up tomorrow.
Maaaaaardy
Member
Never thought i'd be here asking for advice, and it's not really asking for advice more so than curiosity, but I met a girl i'd been talking to. Things went really well and first date we hooked up. Things went really well haha.
I've had some serious stuff going on family wise and was a bit preoccupied after for a short while, however always maintained I was interested and that this was just something that was ongoing and I was down. She understood. However, we talk a lot less than we used to. She only texts me once a day/every other day, citing a new job as a reason. I get that, but considering we got along so well I just don't get how you can't find a little more time. Second date has been discussed and we're both excited, but it's just fizzled out over text. I don't get it...women!
I've had some serious stuff going on family wise and was a bit preoccupied after for a short while, however always maintained I was interested and that this was just something that was ongoing and I was down. She understood. However, we talk a lot less than we used to. She only texts me once a day/every other day, citing a new job as a reason. I get that, but considering we got along so well I just don't get how you can't find a little more time. Second date has been discussed and we're both excited, but it's just fizzled out over text. I don't get it...women!
ZackieChan
Member
Good. Working out as intended.
Stop being indecisive and "discussing" a second date. Be firm and tell her a good time and place to meet you. If she says she can't go for ANY reason, just tell her to text you when she's free to meet up again and DON'T text her again.
Honestly, this question is answered on just about every page of this thread (100 ppp). Read back a few pages and you'll see how often this comes up and how basic a part of dating it is. Assertiveness is attractive, whereas indecisiveness is not.
We're approaching a new thread. Someone should really write up a "common scenarios" and the answers to them that are given pretty much on every page in this thread.
ZackieChan
Member
Yeah, a new OT needs to be writte, for sure.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
Ahhhhhhh got a date for this Friday. Going to take her to this indy bar in my hometown, as she's said she'd like to come to me. I just hope she won't expect to come back as I'm living with my parents currently. I know that's a big roadblock to dating, I think a girl started ghosting me when I mentioned it in the past.
This will be my first date in about 5 months, and she seems really pretty and cool too. I'm incredibly nervous guys.
This will be my first date in about 5 months, and she seems really pretty and cool too. I'm incredibly nervous guys.
EDIT: NVM. Was overthinking. Girl responded and asked to hang out on Thursday,
Cross-posting from the Online Dating thread:
Also:
Cross-posting from the Online Dating thread:
Jhoan said:Proactive TL;DR: I'll definitely be seeing her again.
My expectations and whining evaporated into thin air several minutes into it since I was caught of guard by her surprisingly bubbly and dulcet voice. She kept apologizing about being late which I found cute and told her I'm the one who's usually running late. Suffice to say, she looked much better in person as I would tell her so later on. The more she spoke, the more attractive I found her since she hit all the chords I like including being sarcastic/funny.
It seems that I tend to hit it off well with Midwest girls on the first date for some odd reason. She's a flight attendant with a bunch of hilarious travel stories. I wasn't bored and found all of it very fascinating. I initiated a little bit of touching as we walked to the park.
Suffice to say, it was one of the best dates I've been on this year. The jokes were light, she was smiling a lot and laughing at my wisecracks/blunt observations, and the best part was I didn't overthink a single thing because fuck it. As soon as we got to the park touching sporadically progressed. By the time we got to the grassy area near where a free concert was happening and sat down, sexual tension was high we touched a bit more. I saw her look down at my lips and got the signal I was looking for but it didn't happen until much later when we were sitting by a pond/fountain area since she didn't feel comfortable making out around so many people after I touched and smelled her hair.It was light and a tease but I finally stopped overthinking so damn much and went with the flow.
We held hands the most of the way back to the subway while we navigated out of the park with me occasionally me holding her umbrella with my free hand around her shoulder. I kissed her on the cheek before her stop. When we got off on her stop since I had to transfer trains, we parted with a bit of a long hug and another fleeting, light kiss then agreed it was fun. I wanted more but that will have to wait until date number 2. It was a Monday evening well spent being that I was able to be my honest myself.
Also:
Jhoan said:
peanutbutterlatte
Member
Any general first date tips? I'm so rusty and I was never that polished in the first instance...
Ask questions, let her or him do most of the talking, don't blow your verble load(gotta be a little mysterious), and most of all have fun.
MickeyPhree
Member
About to go meet a nice woman off of Tinder here in a few minutes...nothing crazy..just dinner and drinks.
We hit it off well after speaking on the phone for roughly nine hours over the past three days. I feel she is completely out of my league since I didn't finish college and she's rocking a masters degree. But we'll see what happens here.
We hit it off well after speaking on the phone for roughly nine hours over the past three days. I feel she is completely out of my league since I didn't finish college and she's rocking a masters degree. But we'll see what happens here.
I'm currently messaging 6 women at the moment and it always feels good to have options. In reality, I'm really only messaging 4 of them seriously because one has a difference in religion (but she is cool as fuck and could make for a good friend) and the other one was really bad at communication and committing to a meetup.
The bad communicator is the main reason I'm posting because what she said to me last night over a phone call was simply not true. She said something about me not being assertive enough even though I attempted to set up dates with the exact time, place, and labeling. Then she said something along the lines of me being a 'nice guy' (I don't know what she meant by that but she couldn't clarify). Everything she was saying just felt like excuses to me. She couldn't commit to any of the dates I had planned. The last straw was this afternoon were she said she would stop by so we can talk a little face to face. That didn't happen so now her number is no longer in my phone. I don't have time for people who don't have time for me.
The bad communicator is the main reason I'm posting because what she said to me last night over a phone call was simply not true. She said something about me not being assertive enough even though I attempted to set up dates with the exact time, place, and labeling. Then she said something along the lines of me being a 'nice guy' (I don't know what she meant by that but she couldn't clarify). Everything she was saying just felt like excuses to me. She couldn't commit to any of the dates I had planned. The last straw was this afternoon were she said she would stop by so we can talk a little face to face. That didn't happen so now her number is no longer in my phone. I don't have time for people who don't have time for me.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I suppose we can do this.
Blitzrules240
Banned
Man, I hate to say it but I'm taking pause with dating. I'll still check into my OD profiles and chat up girls I'm intrigued in but I'm putting way too much effort into this.
I'll still be checking this thread for stories and updates but yeah, I'm gonna slow my roll.
Might still try for a friendship with the social worker despite her ways. Might hit her up for bowling Friday if she wants. No biggie if she doesn't. I need to stop being so down when things don't go my way.
I think this will be good for me.
I'll still be checking this thread for stories and updates but yeah, I'm gonna slow my roll.
Might still try for a friendship with the social worker despite her ways. Might hit her up for bowling Friday if she wants. No biggie if she doesn't. I need to stop being so down when things don't go my way.
I think this will be good for me.
Blitzrules240
Banned
It's like picture messaging but they've added all these wacky filters and the pics only last 5-10 seconds. Pretty simple to get the hang off.
Some of the filters crash the app for me though.
Don't get nervous lol. I have no problem deleting and forgetting, I know my value and I value my time.
'Heaven Sniper
Neo Member
Hey Dating GAF,
Been following this thread for a long time, and I'm looking for advice regarding the girl I am currently involved with.
We've been dating for almost 4 months, but in that time we've only been out together 5 times. She works a full-time job and is always busy. We're in touch regularly through text and snapchat but she's never really blowing up my phone. I've tried calling her a few times but she doesn't seem as comfortable on the phone. She's 20, and I'm 24.
Things were moving along at a snail's pace, but it seemed to be getting better when we made dinner at my place. One thing led to another, and we finally made out and cuddled all night. I didn't sleep with her and frankly, I'm surprised she let me do as much as I did. It took 4 dates for anything physical to happen.
Now I thought things would be smooth sailing the following week but she was dodging dates just as much as before. I finally got her out this past Sunday and asked her what she thought we were doing. She said that she didn't wanna commit to anything because she was enjoying her freedom. Apparently her last relationship was like a prison. So I said to her, "Oh than you must be dating multiple guys." She said that she has a lot of friends that she keeps as friends, but I was the only one she was seeing right now. When I said I wasn't seeing anyone else, she was shocked and actually encouraged me to date around.
Basically, she says we're friends but still allows me to kiss her. I'm assuming she wants to casually date and be friends with benefits. I tried to get her to come over tonight but no luck (she had a paper to do).
So GAF, I'm wondering what my next move should be. I'm okay with being friends with benefits if that what she really wants. After being honest with myself, I don't really like her personality but she is so hot that I wanna see where this goes. Thoughts?
Been following this thread for a long time, and I'm looking for advice regarding the girl I am currently involved with.
We've been dating for almost 4 months, but in that time we've only been out together 5 times. She works a full-time job and is always busy. We're in touch regularly through text and snapchat but she's never really blowing up my phone. I've tried calling her a few times but she doesn't seem as comfortable on the phone. She's 20, and I'm 24.
Things were moving along at a snail's pace, but it seemed to be getting better when we made dinner at my place. One thing led to another, and we finally made out and cuddled all night. I didn't sleep with her and frankly, I'm surprised she let me do as much as I did. It took 4 dates for anything physical to happen.
Now I thought things would be smooth sailing the following week but she was dodging dates just as much as before. I finally got her out this past Sunday and asked her what she thought we were doing. She said that she didn't wanna commit to anything because she was enjoying her freedom. Apparently her last relationship was like a prison. So I said to her, "Oh than you must be dating multiple guys." She said that she has a lot of friends that she keeps as friends, but I was the only one she was seeing right now. When I said I wasn't seeing anyone else, she was shocked and actually encouraged me to date around.
Basically, she says we're friends but still allows me to kiss her. I'm assuming she wants to casually date and be friends with benefits. I tried to get her to come over tonight but no luck (she had a paper to do).
So GAF, I'm wondering what my next move should be. I'm okay with being friends with benefits if that what she really wants. After being honest with myself, I don't really like her personality but she is so hot that I wanna see where this goes. Thoughts?
You don't get to have Friendship and/or Sex with most people. Especially once you are emotionally involved. You either get Friendship+sex Aka a Relationship or Just friendship.
This girl is someone you like and she seems great. If you have easy chemistry and trust like that on a first date you should definitely see her again. you just need to work out if you want to be friends or if you want to be in a relationship with her. Whatever you decide be honest and upfront about it
moving fast can be scary, and clearly whatever she told you made you question some things. But chances this great don't come along all that often. Ask her on a 2nd date.
You can always take it slow once you have had the defining the relationship talk
Looks like you have your answer. You don't really like her. What's the point. Hotness doesn't make sex good. You should start dating other people and if this girl calls you up and you are single. Have fun. But there is no point in getting further invested in a person you don't even like
Your next move should be getting another girl's number.
No girl is so busy that they can only date once a month. They're only so "busy" that they can only date you once a month. If she wanted to see you more, she would. And for the friend's with benefits angle? You see her once a month. There are girls out there who'll have sex with you multiple times in a month. Find them. Hanging on to this girl will only hinder your search.
Exactly. She sounds like the girl I just dropped except she put a little bit more effort and you got a few more dates out of her. Get more numbers and expand your options.
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