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Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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TatteredHat

Member
Silly online dating question.

I was talking to a girl through okcupid for a few nights and we seemed to be hitting it off, she was even up for meeting up for a date once she figured out her schedule. Then 5 days ago she stopped responding and hasn't replied since.

I'm not too familiar with online dating etiquette but I guess she changed her mind, I guess this is the point where I move on?
 
C

Count Dookkake

Member
Starviper said:
So here's a pretty goofy one for you guys.

Been seeing this girl for a period of time now. We went on 3 dates before we started doing anything physical, and we seem to get along and communicate very well. Very cute. The issue i'm running into is she's inexperienced - like, she hadn't ever had anyone do it from behind sort of inexperienced. And while that isn't really a problem (people can pick up on things of course) I can't really get into it because she looks like she's in severe pain every time I get going.

She is into it, and every time we have sex she wants more but i'm afraid i'm hurting her - she's said ow under her breath more than once and her facial expressions aren't the most pleasant looking either.

tl;dr I think i'm too big for her, but she's really into me and won't admit it.

I'll probably have to break it off. Honesty is usually the best policy but really unsure how to go about this without hurting feelings. I've asked if she's okay and she always says yes, but I doubt that she's telling the truth.
Click to expand...

She's a big girl. If she says she is ok, then she is ok. If her expression bothers you, then take the rear approach.

Pump away in clear conscience. She'll get acclimated in no time.
 
L

Llyranor

Member
It's a kiss, not a marriage proposal. You're not obligated to kiss on the first date, though, many people don't.

But given what you're written about her, do not contact her again. You'll just give her false hope.
 
M

Mory Dunz

Member
TatteredHat said:
Silly online dating question.

I was talking to a girl through okcupid for a few nights and we seemed to be hitting it off, she was even up for meeting up for a date once she figured out her schedule. Then 5 days ago she stopped responding and hasn't replied since.

I'm not too familiar with online dating etiquette but I guess she changed her mind, I guess this is the point where I move on?
Click to expand...

99% yes.

well, what was the last message sent?
But even so, it's still 99% move on.
 
M

Mory Dunz

Member
TatteredHat said:
Alright, thanks. I did go and thank her for the nice conversations but I'll move on. The last message was just something random, she stopped talking mid-conversation.
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wait, you thanked her for the conversation just now?
Like after 5 days with no response?

If she stopped talking mid conversation, I probably wouldn't text again. If she's interested, she'd re-engage. People can honestly forget. But...if someone forgets about you for 5+ days, that's a bad sign regardless.
 
S

Servbot24

Banned
Anyone mind offering tips on my tinder profile? Seems like I rarely get matches. Not sure if the description sucks, if I'm being way too picky with my swipes, or if I'm just ugly or what :p

13731899_10157259653365013_8686652493354970550_o.jpg
Click to expand...
 
A

Astral

Member
I wanna confess my sins. I've kept in contact with my ex for months until today. I blocked her off snapchat because I would always impulsively look at her stories and I just knew something I wouldn't like (it's the reason we broke up). So she noticed it today and I guess she got mad and blocked me so it's over I think. It was a little liberating blocking her off snapchat but at the same time I wanted to snap her and see how she was doing. I know it's something I should've done a long time ago and I'm an idiot not to block her completely myself. I know I'm gonna miss her and am gonna get really sad and wanna talk to her. Probably even tonight. But I'm also mad. I got nothing out of this. She just gains a new guy that she's so in love with or whatever. I get betrayed and lose someone I care about. It's not fair. Sure that's life but it's still bullshit. This girl broke me completely. Left me fucked up. Low self-esteem, confidence and self-worth asking myself if I just wasn't good enough and all that. So sorry GAF. I should've done this so fucking long ago.
 
K

Kurtofan

Member
Llyranor said:
It's a kiss, not a marriage proposal. You're not obligated to kiss on the first date, though, many people don't.

But given what you're written about her, do not contact her again. You'll just give her false hope.
Click to expand...

Off topic kinda :Semantics question to English speakers, when I say kiss, I mean French kissing, is this what kissing is understood as, generally speaking?

What does "made out with" imply in English?

Back to me; yeah I know it's not a big deal, but what you say about it being uncommon resonates with me, it's not something that I feel I should be doing with someone I barely know.
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
Kurtofan said:
Off topic kinda :Semantics question to English speakers, when I say kiss, I mean French kissing, is this what kissing is understood as, generally speaking?

What does "made out with" imply in English?

Back to me; yeah I know it's not a big deal, but what you say about it being uncommon resonates with me, it's not something that I feel I should be doing with someone I barely know.
Click to expand...

Kiss without tongue isn't "making out" unless you're like 10 years old.
 
N

NIGHT-

Member
Astral said:
I wanna confess my sins. I've kept in contact with my ex for months until today. I blocked her off snapchat because I would always impulsively look at her stories and I just knew something I wouldn't like (it's the reason we broke up). So she noticed it today and I guess she got mad and blocked me so it's over I think. It was a little liberating blocking her off snapchat but at the same time I wanted to snap her and see how she was doing. I know it's something I should've done a long time ago and I'm an idiot not to block her completely myself. I know I'm gonna miss her and am gonna get really sad and wanna talk to her. Probably even tonight. But I'm also mad. I got nothing out of this. She just gains a new guy that she's so in love with or whatever. I get betrayed and lose someone I care about. It's not fair. Sure that's life but it's still bullshit. This girl broke me completely. Left me fucked up. Low self-esteem, confidence and self-worth asking myself if I just wasn't good enough and all that. So sorry GAF. I should've done this so fucking long ago.
Click to expand...


Going through a similar thing bro, so at least you're not alone. Mine wanted to be friends while she's in love with a new guy, but it's just too much. He gets the best side of her and I barely get a congetsation out of her? Fuck that
 
P

PaulloDEC

Member
After years where I've crossed paths with barely a handful of potential partners in my area, this week I find myself talking to two at once who both seem great and both seem interested.

As someone who hates choosing and hates complication, this is like hell.

I don't expect sympathy for a situation many people would probably love to be in, but c'mon universe. Why.
 
T

timetokill

Banned
PaulloDEC said:
After years where I've crossed paths with barely a handful of potential partners in my area, this week I find myself talking to two at once who both seem great and both seem interested.

As someone who hates choosing and hates complication, this is like hell.

I don't expect sympathy for a situation many people would probably love to be in, but c'mon universe. Why.
Click to expand...

Date both for a while. It will work itself out.
 
P

PaulloDEC

Member
ZackieChan said:
Why not date both for a while and see if they live up to your expectations?
Click to expand...

timetokill said:
Date both for a while. It will work itself out.
Click to expand...

Starviper said:
Prolly the best plan - no need to limit yourself until things get serious.
Click to expand...

That's something I'm kinda struggling with internally. I've been out for coffee with one already, and I think I'll probably be seeing the other for the first time next weekend, but I think I'd feel dishonest seeing one again after I'd already been on a second date with the other. There's a deeply ingrained part of me that feels like it'd be... I don't know, selfish of me? Unfair to the girls to not make a choice?

I realise that's probably something that stems from my own lack of experience, as well as a tendency to assume that others are as sensitive about that stuff as I am. I'm trying hard to think rationally about the whole thing.
 
P

PaulloDEC

Member
timetokill said:
Dude until one is your girlfriend there's no reasonable expectation of exclusivity.
Click to expand...

Yeah, rationally I know that's true. It's just sorta like going from 0 - 60 in the blink of an eye for me; one minute I'm lucky to get a date once every six months, the next I'm trying to see two at once.

Doesn't help that cute, dorky girls are staggeringly uncommon where I live, so there's the added thing of "You cannot fuck this up" hanging over me.
 
H

hydrophilic attack

Member
Met an amazing girl through Tinder on Friday. We went for a quick drink and just had an amazing time. Then she invited me out for food and a movie with some of her friends on Saturday, and that was an amazingly fun time as well. She is one of the most intelligent and social girls I have ever met.

The only problem is we live about as far from one another as is possible on this planet. And I'm going back home to my country tomorrow :(

I really wanted to meet up with her today because I really want to spend more time with her (plus sleep with her). But I worry I may have come on too strong yesterday night. So now I'm hoping she gets back in touch. Guess I should just try to enjoy my last day here regardless of what happens
 
V

vern

Member
In the China version of Tinder girls don't really list their hobbies, it's more that they list what they like in a guy.

Best one for me as an old fart (and very common): 大叔控 - literal translation is open to uncles... lol.
 
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Zaraki_Kenpachi

Member
Am I weird for expecting people to explain something?

Like I just had a conversation with one girl, she sent a picture of her computer and I noticed something on the keys and asked what they were. She said they're decals, I said oh, are they of something? Then the conversation does with her just saying "yes". Like is it not clear that if I'm asking if it's from something that if it is you articulate what it's from? It feels like I'm forcefully pulling information from some people when I talk to them. Curious if my expectation is weird or them killing the conversation is.
 
S

Starviper

Member
Zaraki_Kenpachi said:
Am I weird for expecting people to explain something?

Like I just had a conversation with one girl, she sent a picture of her computer and I noticed something on the keys and asked what they were. She said they're decals, I said oh, are they of something? Then the conversation does with her just saying "yes". Like is it not clear that if I'm asking if it's from something that if it is you articulate what it's from? It feels like I'm forcefully pulling information from some people when I talk to them. Curious if my expectation is weird or them killing the conversation is.
Click to expand...

The way I read that is if it is a decal it is obviously from something. If you don't know what it is that's not really a problem, probably best to ask or talk about something else rather than repeat the question they didn't want to answer.
 
M

Mory Dunz

Member
Zaraki_Kenpachi said:
Am I weird for expecting people to explain something?

Like I just had a conversation with one girl, she sent a picture of her computer and I noticed something on the keys and asked what they were. She said they're decals, I said oh, are they of something? Then the conversation does with her just saying "yes". Like is it not clear that if I'm asking if it's from something that if it is you articulate what it's from? It feels like I'm forcefully pulling information from some people when I talk to them. Curious if my expectation is weird or them killing the conversation is.
Click to expand...

That's....weird.
Why did she send a pic of her laptop in the first place? To show something else?

Yea...maybe she didn't want to disclose where the decals are from?
Or is just uninterested?
Either way if it gets a big habit then it's an issue.
 
Z

Zaraki_Kenpachi

Member
Starviper said:
The way I read that is if it is a decal it is obviously from something. If you don't know what it is that's not really a problem, probably best to ask or talk about something else rather than repeat the question they didn't want to answer.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure you understand what I'm saying. Yes, I could follow up with "ok, where is it from?". The point I'm trying to make however is in conversation that's usually implied in my mind. Like if you saw a picture on someone's wall and said "Is that from a video game?" and it was, would you just say "yes"? Or would you say, "yeah it's from uncharted", or "yeah it's from shadow of the colossus" or whatever game it was from? It just creates weird pauses in a conversation.

Mory Dunz said:
That's....weird.
Why did she send a pic of her laptop in the first place? To show something else?

Yea...maybe she didn't want to disclose where the decals are from?
Or is just uninterested?
Either way if it gets a big habit then it's an issue.
Click to expand...

She was complaining the netflix website is down so it was a picture of that. :lol And maybe but I curious because it's not the norm but it has happened a good amount of times that I notice it.
 
M

Mory Dunz

Member
Zaraki_Kenpachi said:
...
She was complaining the netflix website is down so it was a picture of that. :lol And maybe but I curious because it's not the norm but it has happened a good amount of times that I notice it.
Click to expand...

yeah i was in the middle of watching old justice league. Annoying.

But yeah, usually in that situation there's an implication to say where it's from
Even if she missed the implied social cue, "yes" is kinda boring regardless
 
N

N.Domixis

Banned
You know what pisses me off? My 20 year old sister dating some 40 year old man. She's only in it for the money. Mr. Rich is buying her a car even though she already has one.
 
N

No Love

Banned
Astral said:
I wanna confess my sins. I've kept in contact with my ex for months until today. I blocked her off snapchat because I would always impulsively look at her stories and I just knew something I wouldn't like (it's the reason we broke up). So she noticed it today and I guess she got mad and blocked me so it's over I think. It was a little liberating blocking her off snapchat but at the same time I wanted to snap her and see how she was doing. I know it's something I should've done a long time ago and I'm an idiot not to block her completely myself. I know I'm gonna miss her and am gonna get really sad and wanna talk to her. Probably even tonight. But I'm also mad. I got nothing out of this. She just gains a new guy that she's so in love with or whatever. I get betrayed and lose someone I care about. It's not fair. Sure that's life but it's still bullshit. This girl broke me completely. Left me fucked up. Low self-esteem, confidence and self-worth asking myself if I just wasn't good enough and all that. So sorry GAF. I should've done this so fucking long ago.
Click to expand...

Good job. You knew what you were doing was wrong and was poisoning your heart and you stopped and made the healthy choice.

Just remember this: in this life, we all come to these painful moments. And then, time moves on, it moves forward, and you with it, and one day the tides of time carry you to a point where you look back and you barely remember this distant pain... and it doesn't seem so important anymore because everything has changed, and you will have changed too.
 
M

Mory Dunz

Member
^^ If it was my sister I wouldn't be a big fan of that relationship.
I just wouldn't see it ending well. At all.


If it's some friend or random person?
sure, do you.
 
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