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Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
- Start date
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Yes. I will try and get back to focusing on the positives. Because I have had some wonderful days, and really progressed with lots of things, so I'll just give those interests my attention.
Yeah I can't really put her in the restraining order because she is illegally here in the country, and they can't find her in the system. Although they wanted her name so I gave them that. And yup, I know I am the back up here, but she'll never get me back, I am 100% sure of that. Anything she says to me have no value to me.
I remember 3 years ago when she went to visit him and has brought a gift and her sister to introduce. I should have kicked her out the door right there.
Pasta_Soup
Member
It's totally cool that you want to take a break - but just keep some things in mind.
Haven't you only been messing around on dating apps for about a week or so? Online dating takes patience and adjustment. And it works best as a supplement to meeting people in the real world - as in- not putting so much time and energy into it to the point where it exhausts you.
As for the catfish claims - you're probably the first person in these Dating threads that's had to deal with a problem like this, specifically at this level. Maybe the simplest solution would just be taking some pictures that look more natural? I think I remember you posting some of your pictures in a previous thread. The photograph quality almost looked too good, lol. If your pictures are causing problems (regardless of the actual problem) you need to shift something.
Anyway, good luck!
I'm glad you blocked her. She is a garbage person. Never engage with her ever again.
Recognize your value as a person and never tolerate people treating you like this. Keep taking those steps towards self recovery!
The catfish claims are weird, but aren't you the guy GAF finds too pretty?
Maybe get some candid shots with friends, or even get a lower quality selfie to make yourself seem more real. I dunno, never had that problem!
Madrid, you can't let someone that cruel get to you. That's exactly what she wants and she is deriving pleasure out your misery. Your mindset should be that she is dead to you. So that whenever she tries to rub in her life in your face (btw, she is doing this because she is unhappy and petty, and wants to make sure you are unhappier - if she was truly happy, she wouldn't need to do this high school crap), it have zero effect on you. Chalk this up as a lengthy life lesson.
Maybe get some candid shots with friends, or even get a lower quality selfie to make yourself seem more real. I dunno, never had that problem!
Madrid, you can't let someone that cruel get to you. That's exactly what she wants and she is deriving pleasure out your misery. Your mindset should be that she is dead to you. So that whenever she tries to rub in her life in your face (btw, she is doing this because she is unhappy and petty, and wants to make sure you are unhappier - if she was truly happy, she wouldn't need to do this high school crap), it have zero effect on you. Chalk this up as a lengthy life lesson.
Yeah you're right.
On the extended family thing: we spent a few hours last Saturday with extended family, then the whole next day with sister+sister's BF+cousins that I've met before, and then breakfast on Monday. Very little affection the whole way. Her parents are far from conservative, and her cousins are our age. Her sister is also super cool, as is her BF. She hasn't shown signs of this before, but yeah maybe it was a one-off thing or something.
EchoChamber
Member
Dating-age|OT6|I will listen this time.
I believe most people here will tell to cut all ties.
What the hell!? She seems like a very shitty person. You dodge a bullet right there. I hope you can overcome your feelings as soon as possible.
Yeah, apparently I'm just so bad at reacting to the red flags. There have been a ton of red flags: asking for the number of another guy, telling me to wait at the bar, as she wanted to see him dance; telling another guy on the phone that he is so sweet for having her bag, and maybe they could hang out, said in front of me; had a talk with a guy from OKCupid on the phone while having sexual intercourse with me etc. etc. etc.
Maybe I should write down all the bad things she have done, and write a letter to myself, that I can then either dig down in the earth or burn up at the ocean.
Yeah I already cut ties. As said the only way I can be reached is through my email, as they end up in my spam folder. I feel like I'm very sad on the inside really, so maybe I should meditate. I also haven't hit the gym in two weeks, so I should get back to that as well. I burned a picture of us today, where I burned off her face from it, just to symbolize it toward myself.
Incendiary
Banned
First off, I have to applaud any guy/girl who is able to constantly date and be out in the field because man it is exhausting for me. I've been trying to manage four different Tinder conversations this past week and it is so exhausting I don't know how people can do this for months at a time.
Second, I feel like when OT6 comes around I'm gonna try and be more frequent in here because you all seem like a good group and give some great advice.
Third, I've got two dates with different girls from Tinder set up for next week. Usually I'm a guy who picks one girl and goes after her until either I'm successful or get rejected, so having two first dates with two different girls in the same week is a new experience for me. Both seem cool but there hasn't been a super spark in our conversation, so both dates are more for feeling out chemistry in person.
I have another conversation going with a girl who I found super attractive in the "I can't believe she matched with me in the first place!" kind of way, but it's been two days since I last sent her a message with no response so I'm a little bummed about that - although she did take three days to reply to my initial message so I'm not writing it off as a loss just yet.
It's been six or so months since I've attempted any dating at all, due to wanting to take a break and getting over a girl I got too invested in, so we'll see how all this goes.
Second, I feel like when OT6 comes around I'm gonna try and be more frequent in here because you all seem like a good group and give some great advice.
Third, I've got two dates with different girls from Tinder set up for next week. Usually I'm a guy who picks one girl and goes after her until either I'm successful or get rejected, so having two first dates with two different girls in the same week is a new experience for me. Both seem cool but there hasn't been a super spark in our conversation, so both dates are more for feeling out chemistry in person.
I have another conversation going with a girl who I found super attractive in the "I can't believe she matched with me in the first place!" kind of way, but it's been two days since I last sent her a message with no response so I'm a little bummed about that - although she did take three days to reply to my initial message so I'm not writing it off as a loss just yet.
It's been six or so months since I've attempted any dating at all, due to wanting to take a break and getting over a girl I got too invested in, so we'll see how all this goes.
Hello mighty gaf, anyone battle proofed here wiling to give an advice ?
Two weeks back I am with a friend in a bar and I see a girl that I like. Very shortly after I go to her and invite her to a drink. We immediately take it off, start chatting, laughing and so on. We spend whole night walking through a city, dancing, drinking and I really feel something is 'different'. In the end, I end up in her place (no sex, just cuddling)
After this night we start chatting, calling each other and fast forward one week we have a date. I can safely say this was the best date I ever had. Lots of fun, sight-seeing, we hit couple of bars, some kissing involved. At 2 am we call it off since both of us are working next day.
After I come home I receive message saying that I should not spend my time and money with her, and for the money I spend on her that day I could have bought some sex with different woman (wtf). Little drunk I respond to her that I really want her and I am thinking about her since the day we met (foolish I know, I am extra honest when drunk). I send her a bunch of messages and no answer from her since then .
I feel that my only option is to stop any kind of communication with her, wait for her answer or bail out. I am genuinely sad about this, because I didn't feel such connection with a girl for years. What to do gaf ? Any other options left?
Ps: girl is super hot
Two weeks back I am with a friend in a bar and I see a girl that I like. Very shortly after I go to her and invite her to a drink. We immediately take it off, start chatting, laughing and so on. We spend whole night walking through a city, dancing, drinking and I really feel something is 'different'. In the end, I end up in her place (no sex, just cuddling)
After this night we start chatting, calling each other and fast forward one week we have a date. I can safely say this was the best date I ever had. Lots of fun, sight-seeing, we hit couple of bars, some kissing involved. At 2 am we call it off since both of us are working next day.
After I come home I receive message saying that I should not spend my time and money with her, and for the money I spend on her that day I could have bought some sex with different woman (wtf). Little drunk I respond to her that I really want her and I am thinking about her since the day we met (foolish I know, I am extra honest when drunk). I send her a bunch of messages and no answer from her since then .
I feel that my only option is to stop any kind of communication with her, wait for her answer or bail out. I am genuinely sad about this, because I didn't feel such connection with a girl for years. What to do gaf ? Any other options left?
Ps: girl is super hot
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Nice to see my plugging of Modern Romance paid off.
I'm proud of you all.
I'm proud of you all.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Haha I like this one
Is there a story behind this? Seems interesting.
My feeling is that she didn't have as much of a connection as you did and/or maybe she got burned by guys and doesn't want a relationship, or whatever. Who knows, who cares. She (in her own awkward way) just wanted to let you down "easy". You sending multiple texts especially with how you worded them probably scared her off. Don't try texting her again.
Read a few pages back. Basically Jasons Ultimatium sent a cunty text to a date that stood him up because he was out $6 for parking.
SmackDaddy
Member
Chick just sounds like she has some stuff going on- like an ex she's dealing with or something. Hit her back in a week, and if nothing, just move on. Sorry this happened, sounds like she wants you but life just got in the way. Bad timing- something you can never foresee.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Dating-Age |OT6| I ain't afraid of no ghosts
Incendiary
Banned
Last year I went out on two dates with a girl who I found super attractive and we had great chemistry, talked for hours on both dates and I thought things were going great. In the middle of planning our third date she dropped the "I can't date anybody right now, need to work on me" bomb. So I gave her my phone number (we had only chatted through OKC up until this point), told her to take whatever time she needed and if she ever wanted to talk or go out again she could call me.
Guess what - she never called.
Chances are if a girl drops any sort of line like that on you, they either have other issues they're working on or they're not interested. I would back off and just see if she says anything else, and unfortunately you might have to move on.
Also - sometimes girls can tell if you're a little "too" into them. I brought this girl a book of mine to borrow on the second date because we'd talked about it being a book she'd never read. I don't know if that came into play or not, but looking back that was a huuuuuge mistake and may have sent up flags for her that I was too invested already.
n64coder
Member
sounds like you fell way too hard. She wants to keep in touch cause you boost her ego . And chasing when you "felt she was pulling back" only made things worse.
see here:
this.
Take things easy
efff, didn't I say not to do this? I specifically remember saying that lol.
If someone says "you look too good, take a selfie/video so I know you're real"
You say: "bye"
You have the "leverage" in that situation (lame way to think about things, but such is life), why bend to her...weird....will? Especially when you don't want to. In fact, why do anything you don't want to for some nameless stranger????
pfft, take a selfie with my name on it?? gtfo
Be a savage. Get her deported.
Edit: not literally. But she sounds like a terrible person who deserves anything negative that comes her way.
Roufianos
Member
Had my first bad Tinder date yesterday. I was with her for two hours, I had a good time but it just felt a bit flat.
She was a teacher, very smart and a bit pretentious. That was a big mismatch for me since I'm full of shit.
The thing is, I actually had better academic achievements than her. I'm training to be a lawyer too so it's not like she was too good for me career wise.
I'm starting to wonder if I should start presenting myself as more serious. I'm more than capable of intellectual conversation but I think I imply otherwise. I just turn everything into a joke.
Maybe I shouldn't act around girls as I would with my friends and start putting on a bit of an act.
She was a teacher, very smart and a bit pretentious. That was a big mismatch for me since I'm full of shit.
The thing is, I actually had better academic achievements than her. I'm training to be a lawyer too so it's not like she was too good for me career wise.
I'm starting to wonder if I should start presenting myself as more serious. I'm more than capable of intellectual conversation but I think I imply otherwise. I just turn everything into a joke.
Maybe I shouldn't act around girls as I would with my friends and start putting on a bit of an act.
radioactivez0r
Member
I apologize for singling you guys out, but some form of both of these scenarios - the "I checked to see if she was online and she was, but wasn't responding, WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER" and the "We went out a handful of times and she broke my heart, how do I get past this" bolded parts - need to be in the next OT. Like, things to avoid.
Messofanego
Banned
Is that for people who are even scared to come to GAF meetups?
Are my reasons not to pursue a relationship valid?
-Age: she's 32, I'm 25.
-Appearance: I don't find her really attractive. Not really ugly, but just not my type. I'm not a big fan of her voice, too.
- Too fast: I think kissing her on the first date was a mistake.
On the other side:
-we like the same things
-we got along well
I told her on the second date I wanted to end it, she seemed disappointed and tried to make me change my mind, which made me feel really guilty, I kissed her one last time, she told me she wouldn't contact me again but I could contact her whenever.
It's been a month since then (no contact) and two days ago she visited my profile.
-Age: she's 32, I'm 25.
-Appearance: I don't find her really attractive. Not really ugly, but just not my type. I'm not a big fan of her voice, too.
- Too fast: I think kissing her on the first date was a mistake.
On the other side:
-we like the same things
-we got along well
I told her on the second date I wanted to end it, she seemed disappointed and tried to make me change my mind, which made me feel really guilty, I kissed her one last time, she told me she wouldn't contact me again but I could contact her whenever.
It's been a month since then (no contact) and two days ago she visited my profile.
While I generally agree with you, I'd argue that being in a real relationship is different from dating for my case.
Well, the most important reason is "do you like her", right?
You listed the cons before the pros so....
While I probably won't use direct quotes, I was thinking of generalized examples of bad behavior lol. Help illustrate points and whatnot.
Every once and a while we get a rash of people asking for platonic relationship advice, or general "how to make friends" questions. It's weird.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Eh, that's partly how my last relationship ended. Hadn't heard from her when we'd made plans for the next day, I check FB messenger and see that she's online, confront her about it later (I didn't bring up the messenger status but expressed doubt that she was as busy as she claimed), she says I don't trust her, etc.
There needs to be an element of trust and respect in a relationship, and both parties have to give the other ample space. In your case, it wasn't even 2 hours between texts; despite having the day off, people aren't always on their phone instead.
ZackieChan
Member
You already moved on, and she didn't actually try to contact you. As far as I am concerned, any reason is a valid reason for not dating someone. You don't want to, so don't.
I put in my vote for "Parking isn't free, ladies" with added dollar sign. Sorry J-train.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Do you want to sleep with her?
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Y'all are ruthless.
Also is someone asking you to level with them in Pokemon go asking you out
Also is someone asking you to level with them in Pokemon go asking you out
Banjo-Kazooie
Member
What do you think?
The pros are things to look out for in a friend. All you are left with are cons.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Dating-age|OT6| The beauty and the Jason.
So I've been dating a girl that I met that is a friend of friends for over a month now and I need to find an easy way to break it off. I thought the chemistry and communication levels would grow as time went by, but they're not, and I'm finding myself less and less attracted to her, even though the sex is good. I don't wanna continue it on to the point where I hurt her bad and ruining a friendship. So how do I go from here? I'm typically very good at seeing if something is gonna work early on during dating, but I guess I was just blinded because I'm not over my ex and was hoping this would help me move on..
Any advice on how to let her down easy and maintain friendship?
Any advice on how to let her down easy and maintain friendship?
'Heaven Sniper
Neo Member
I think it's good advice for the next thread to be aware of bad signs, whether it's through dating or a real relationship. In my case, she was pulling back for a reason and it was important to me that I confronted her about it. Now the right thing to have done was to sit back and let her act, but I was already too invested by that point. Actions always speak louder than words.
Thanks for an advice man. Experience like this is very frustrating. Still, I have this feeling that she thinks I am some kind of 'player' and only want her for sex (based on couple comments of her during our date). Would it be too bad to wait a week and give this girl another chance ?
So here's a pretty goofy one for you guys.
Been seeing this girl for a period of time now. We went on 3 dates before we started doing anything physical, and we seem to get along and communicate very well. Very cute. The issue i'm running into is she's inexperienced - like, she hadn't ever had anyone do it from behind sort of inexperienced. And while that isn't really a problem (people can pick up on things of course) I can't really get into it because she looks like she's in severe pain every time I get going.
She is into it, and every time we have sex she wants more but i'm afraid i'm hurting her - she's said ow under her breath more than once and her facial expressions aren't the most pleasant looking either.
tl;dr I think i'm too big for her, but she's really into me and won't admit it.
I'll probably have to break it off. Honesty is usually the best policy but really unsure how to go about this without hurting feelings. I've asked if she's okay and she always says yes, but I doubt that she's telling the truth.
Been seeing this girl for a period of time now. We went on 3 dates before we started doing anything physical, and we seem to get along and communicate very well. Very cute. The issue i'm running into is she's inexperienced - like, she hadn't ever had anyone do it from behind sort of inexperienced. And while that isn't really a problem (people can pick up on things of course) I can't really get into it because she looks like she's in severe pain every time I get going.
She is into it, and every time we have sex she wants more but i'm afraid i'm hurting her - she's said ow under her breath more than once and her facial expressions aren't the most pleasant looking either.
tl;dr I think i'm too big for her, but she's really into me and won't admit it.
I'll probably have to break it off. Honesty is usually the best policy but really unsure how to go about this without hurting feelings. I've asked if she's okay and she always says yes, but I doubt that she's telling the truth.
Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
There's no helping those people.
So ask her if you are hurting her instead of assuming you are. And try lube or going slower or not as deep or something.
Assuming you like her and not looking for a way to cop out.
Well, the friendship might be ruined, or it might not. If you wanna try and salvage it, it's better to let her down now rather later. Just don't continue the relationship for fear of having a friendship end.
Oh okay. Well my response isn't going to change.
It's basically this (thanks GK).
However he's already said he's asked and she said no every time. I'd say try easing into it slower and use lube.
Unless as GK said, you're looking to get out as a result of this.
You're 25 in 2016. Who thinks like that?
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