Support NeoGAF

[Jedeye Sniv]

Reading GAFfers post about high school as if it was some ancient past makes me feel young. I'm still in high school, and, like many here, interpret blatant romantic advances as friendly gestures, which has lead to a lot of awkward moments. But I'm still allowed to make those mistakes, right?

Spoiler

Right?! D:

If there's any advice you should take from this thread it is that if a girl even says hello, you need to straight up ask if she is DTF.

I haven't contributed to this thread yet in a story capacity. I'm mostly clueless about signals and shit, and I've been with my now-wife since I was 17 (now 29) so I'm never on the lookout for the signals either, but there have been a few instances:

When I was at school I had a massive crush on a girl in most of my classes. We would flirt outrageously and playfight and talk for hours but she had an on/off relationship with a douchey guy. Looking back, I realise that if I had just manned up and asked her out we probably could have gotten together.

I actually did ask her out once, but it was on the very last lesson of the last day of term. We were walking back to our tutor rooms (different 'homerooms' to you yanks) and so I asked her hurriedly "hey I really like you, do you want to hang out over the summer, maybe go see a movie?" and she just giggled coyly and I THINK she said "not yet" but the corridor was loud and we were going in separate directions and I was all GODAMMIT. When we came back to school after summer she was back with her douchey boyfriend and it was never the same. And then she dyed her hair ginger by accident and it was all over.

Postscript - she now has 3 kids and is fatter than me, bullet dodged.

Recently after playing a show with my band, I was offstage and sweaty and on an adrenaline comedown which makes me quite antisocial and ill feeling, but loads of people were coming up and being super nice about the show. This one really quite attractive blonde girl comes up to me and asks "What's your name?" and I just tell her the name of the band and she hits my arm and says "No, YOU silly!" and I just looked at her a bit weird and mumbled my name before indicating the direction of the bar, making my excuses and getting out of there. It wasn't till later I realised where she was going with it - it's not like I would have reciprocated but it's nice to get some attention.

Recently a friend of mine keeps telling me about her ideal man and keeps kinda describing me. She wants a musician, big guy, a bit rough round the edges, beard, tattoos. I can kinda see what she's angling at but it's not going to happen and it makes me feel a little uncomfortable. I mean, it's nice but I can't, and she knows that. But it did take me a little while to twig what she was saying.

So yeah, it doesn't happen to me very often but when it does I kinda freak out like a kid still.

 

[Jedeye Sniv]

As an addendum, I realised that the same thing happened when I met my wife even. We were at sixth form together (google it) and apparently for her it literally was love at first sight, I have no idea why but it was something to do with sideburns, a valuable commodity when you're 17.

I first see her on campus and she's this cool looking metal chick and I go about my day. Next day I'm in line in the food hall with my mate and she walks past and waves manically in our direction. I look around, figure one of her friends must be in there. A couple of days later we pass each other in a corridor and she looks right at me and just says "hi" with a big grin. I basically run away.

By this point my friends have started to notice and so they tell me what the deal is. This girl likes me, I should go talk to her.

me: "ahhhh man I dunno, what if I'm misreading it?"
them: "dude, she's in the food hall, just go over and talk to her"
me: "she's with her friends though"
them: "don't be a pussy, she's all over you! Oh wait, they're leaving, too late"
me: "No! let's follow them!"

So we do. Like a giggling bunch of kids we follow the girls into town until eventually this girl is parted from her friends waiting at the bus depot. The bus depot is pretty big, me and my buddy were pretty much hiding behind a wall about 50 metres down the road, poking our heads out to see if she's there. She saw us.

Fuck it, I thought. I manned up. I went over, I said hi. The rest is sexy history.

 

[swirlyglasses]

I don't have any stories to tell, but I yearn for the day, when girls could just be blunt. "Hey, do you wanna come over to my place and have raucous experimental sex with me?"

"Yeah sure".

All the needless hinting crap has been cut in two sentences, there's no ambiguity, everyone gets what they want.

 

[Messofanego]

As an addendum, I realised that the same thing happened when I met my wife even. We were at sixth form together (google it) and apparently for her it literally was love at first sight, I have no idea why but it was something to do with sideburns, a valuable commodity when you're 17.

I first see her on campus and she's this cool looking metal chick and I go about my day. Next day I'm in line in the food hall with my mate and she walks past and waves manically in our direction. I look around, figure one of her friends must be in there. A couple of days later we pass each other in a corridor and she looks right at me and just says "hi" with a big grin. I basically run away.

By this point my friends have started to notice and so they tell me what the deal is. This girl likes me, I should go talk to her.

me: "ahhhh man I dunno, what if I'm misreading it?"
them: "dude, she's in the food hall, just go over and talk to her"
me: "she's with her friends though"
them: "don't be a pussy, she's all over you! Oh wait, they're leaving, too late"
me: "No! let's follow them!"

So we do. Like a giggling bunch of kids we follow the girls into town until eventually this girl is parted from her friends waiting at the bus depot. The bus depot is pretty big, me and my buddy were pretty much hiding behind a wall about 50 metres down the road, poking our heads out to see if she's there. She saw us.

Fuck it, I thought. I manned up. I went over, I said hi. The rest is sexy history.

Running away, stalking your prey.

 

[TheLucifer]

Last time that happened was in high school, a couple of years ago. In my class there were 20 girls and another guy, who was pretty awful. He used to date one of our classmates in 2009, but they break up a year later. On our last year of HS, I noticed how this girl (she's awesome, my dream girl in short) was getting pretty close to me, we used to talk all the time, both at school and at home. As I said before, that was our last year, and here in Italy in June we have to take our last exam before going to the university, so I decided (this was around March) to wait until we were both done with this thing and then ask her out. Also, I thought that it would've been better if I didn't date the only girl that my other classmate dated while still in school.

Of course, this was going to end badly: he eventually got back with one of her ex. Sometimes I just want to punch myself, there were clear signals but at first I didn't noticed them, then, just to be safe, I decided to ignore them and just wait. I'm an idiot. It's one of my biggest regrets, I wish I could change something but it's waaay too late.

Fuck life.

 

[geedundee]

this is more me being overly fussy than not noticeing

once i was in a club with a few mates and it was the end of the night just about time too go and there where a few girls sitting right next to us not chatting or anything just there one of them had been walking about outside with her shoes off so the bottom of her feet were dirty so when i got up to go home said goodbye to my mates and the girl with the dirty feet asked where i was going i said home she said can i come i said no

coz of her dirty feet


another time i had pulled and was having a good time with this girl got back to my mates house there was maybe 5/6 of us staying there his mum was away

so theres me and the girl and another guy i knew in the living room i asked him to go upstairs to my mates mums bedroom to sleep so we could get a bit of peace he wouldnt for some reason so in the end me and the girl went upstairs to my mates mums bedroom


now we are in bed together all is good but i cant fuck her (or anything) coz we are in my mates mums bed

is it mad to miss out coz you dont want to leave cum stains on your mates mums bed


he was one of my best mates so shagging in his mums bed for me was a no go



i did get some grief for that

 

[trs1080]

One time at a casino bar I was ordering a couple of bourbon & cokes for me and a friend. When I'm handed the drinks, the smoking hot girl standing next to me leans over and says the bartender put more bourbon in the drinks than he should have and essentially gave me 4 drinks for the price of 2.
In the infinite wisdom of youth I glanced at both drinks, shrugged and said "Huh....a drink is a drink". Then I walked back to my friends. Upon reaching them it dawned on me that she was trying to make smalltalk. Walking back over to her at that point wouldn't just seem weird, so I decided to let it go. I informed by mates, who all simultaneously craned their necks over toward the bar. She was looking in my direction when they did that, so now things were doubly awkward.
It was then that I suggested we go play some roulette...

Casino bar? My bet is on prostitute.

 

[Xun]

No man, it's a good thing! The air of mystery and coolness! I always made myself too available, I have no mystery at all. You remind me of my friend from school and he was swimming in clunge.

Carry a book. Make it a french one.

It certainly hasn't helped so far man.

Hopefully when my band gets gigging things will somehow work out, but who knows? I have such little confidence in many aspects of my life.

I wish I could go back to my college days and actually portray myself better, but those days are long gone. I'm just stuck doing a job I don't want to be doing, so that certainly doesn't help.

 

[FLAguy954]

I remember in my first high school there was this girl who knew this other friend of mine, and she'd come to my art room before school started to talk with us. Well, mostly talk to my other friend, she'd just try to start random arguments with me. She was on the debate team, and she would constantly try to make me debate her over anything and everything, whether we agreed or not. It drove me nuts.

Over the course of the year, she would say weird things like she thought my hair looked nice that day, or whatever. I just played it off as her trying to make up for causing me grief all the rest of the time. Then, she cooked me an entire sheet of brownies on my birthday, and expected me carry it around all day. I appreciated the gesture, but I ended up just giving them to everyone in my next class.

These sorts of small gestures carried on for a while, and one day she asked me what kind of music I liked. I knew she was just going to use this as another thing to argue with me about, since she liked a lot of (then) current music. I mostly listened to stuff from the 60s and 70s (still largely just do) at the time, and she made it her mission to expose me to all of the wonderful things she listened to. So, she made me a cd of her favorite songs and artists, but I just tossed it into a drawer when I got home. A week or so later, she made my friend bring me to the hall her first class was on in the morning, and she proceeded to bring out a guitar and start singing. There were a few people around, and I assumed she was just doing her usual attention getting behavior stuff. When I started to hear the words though... I realized she had a huge crush on me and was singing a love song she had written for me in the middle of a crowded hallway.

I stood there waiting for it to end, because what the heck do you do when this sort of thing is going on? I told her it sounded nice and I had to get to class, since it was about to start. I got to class as fast as I could. She never directly asked me out or anything after that, and I was glad since I wasn't attracted to her at all after as much as she had grated on me up to this point.

A few years ago, I was going through my room, and I found the cd in my drawer. I popped it into my old cd player, out of curiosity, and it was a bunch of love songs. Made me feel pretty bad that I had probably really hurt her feelings without wanting to, but yeah.

Fucking ice cold

Only had one that I can think of back in high school. There was this girl that we all knew who had a great body but a pretty homely face. She acted like one of the guys so no one really took notice of her until about Junior year when her face somehow turned out nice. She ended up in one of my classes and sat next to me as a buddy. What I didn't realize was how she kept making references to her body and how it related to me. She came up to me one day while I was sitting down and rested her boobs on top of my head asking if they felt like they gotten bigger. I thought it was awkward so I let it go. Next class, she dropped her pencil and bent over to do it, except she kept scooting her ass towards my face. By this point, I thought something was up but never realized what was up until she asked me to hang out at her house one Saturday while her parents were away. Me and my infinite stupidity said this and I kid you not:

"Sorry I won't be able to. I have to go to a Super Smash Bros. tournament on Saturday and I'll be gone for the whole day."

She was obviously disappointed and left me alone after that. It didn't hit me until after high school she was wanted the D. Hold me GAF.

LMFAO

 

[FLAguy954]

Edit: double post

 

[Insane Metal]

I complemented a girl on her tattoo at a bar once. She was gorgeous and I wasn't even really trying to pick up on her. She comes and sits next to me, we talk for a bit, she asks me if I like Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory, I say "Of course! That movie is great." She then proceeds to sing in my ear "Don't care how, I want it now." I laughed and complemented her on her singing voice and had no idea that the hottest thing ever had just happened.

I hate my life.

LoL holy shit dude.

This thread is a good reason to cry. For both joy and sadness.

 

[Red UFO]

Last Saturday I danced with an absolutely stunning brunette for about half an hour. Completely oblivious until she had a clearly annoyed look on her face and stormed off.

 

[mjc]

Back in freshman year of high school there was a new girl who just moved into the area. I thought she was cute but I didn't really make it known. Turns out I was completely oblivious to the clues she was giving me for a couple months. Two years later I found out from a friend that she had the biggest crush on me until she finally gave up because I didn't do anything.

 

[Snkfanatic]

Two instances stick out with me. Both happened shortly after high school.

First was a small party I had at my brother's place while I was watching it for him, had a few friends and some girls over. All my friends left and the girls started leaving except for one. This very cute brunette who I found out later had a huge crush on me. When it was just her and I in the apartment she asked me what I wanted to do the rest of the night, me being a idiot and slightly (only slightly...) intoxicated I said I was tired so she left. Ugh...

Second was at a house party of a friend's GF at the time, I was just hanging around being bummed that a girl I had been seeing for years left me. There was a very cute blonde there who kept talking to me and doing various flirty things. At one point she put her hand on my thigh to reach over and get her drink, and this hand was way up on my thigh. Like point of no return high. I later left feeling sorry for myself only to get chastised by my buddy for not making a move.

 

[Spehornoob]

My freshman year of college I was in a Global Business class with a girl I had met during orientation. We lived in the same dorm building, chatted pretty regularly. THe class itself was pretty tough, but I was getting through it fine.

I ran into the girl and her friend while I was walking back to my dorm one night. Business class got brought up. She told me I should come up to her room sometime if I ever needed help studying, then turned, smiled to her friend, and they started giggling.

I turned her down. I was doing fine in the class. I study better on my own anyway.

*five minutes later*

OH GODDAMIT

 

[Irish]

I really didn't understand the complete 180 in a person's personality until this thread. I always thought I had just been a dick in some form or another and that's why a person would start ignoring me or talking to me much less after being my shadow for so long. I didn't realize how closely connected that was with failed advances.

Oh well, I've always been a bit of a lunkhead.

 

[ZombieFred]

Oh man, this thread is gold because I've had a few situations of this when I was much, much younger. I remember when I was 12 years old and a girl who was 13 followed me around and even paid for some of my Arcade fun times in Pontins (Kid resort) and then one time I went back to her parents hotel apartment when they were out for the whole day and she said "let's have sex" and stripped and I pretty much was a little confused and scared on thinking if my mum would somehow open the door and said "I am ok, let's go to the playground!".

Man that is kind of a bit creepy or cringe worthy when I look back at how young I was.

 

[swirlyglasses]

Oh man, this thread is gold because I've had a few situations of this when I was much, much younger. I remember when I was 12 years old and a girl who was 13 followed me around and even paid for some of my Arcade fun times in Pontins (Kid resort) and then one time I went back to her parents hotel apartment when they were out for the whole day and she said "let's have sex" and stripped and I pretty much was a little confused and scared on thinking if my mum would somehow open the door and said "I am ok, let's go to the playground!".

Man that is kind of a bit creepy or cringe worthy when I look back at how young I was.

Wow you would have started super early if you accepted. At least she was forward though.

 

[ZombieFred]

Wow you would have started super early if you accepted. At least she was forward though.

Yeah, I never really developed or anything around that time and it wasn't until some time later I did so it was one of the reasons why I was kind of confused (I wasn't horny or anything). Still remember it reasonably well though because I look back being a bit gutted because she is kind of the "first" kind of sexual encounter experience I have had and I was just a damn kid :lol: I've had a few girls being forward to me though and saying bluntly so I've had no problem in that front.

I still take pride that I've not even had a single STD or any bomb-shells (always used protection) with sleeping over 30 different girls (all different perks and cultures with it) and I am only 22 years of age. England is full of females who just want to fuck when you go out drinking :lol:

 

[Dizzy]

Right up until I was in my early twenties or so I was completely oblivious to all advances. Only reason I even had a gf before that was because she was very brave and direct with me. No mind games, no clues, she just came out with it.


I don't know what happened but everything clicked, and I look back at a few other girls I liked in the past and thought they didn't care about me and for one or two of them...ya know I think they actually might have been interested.


Can't say I've ever had any blatant sexual advances, at least none that I've noticed. I'm a closed off, defensive person though so I guess women just don't get close enough.



This does have an upside though. Sometimes women try and try and try to get your attention. The fact that you can be so clueless makes them want you more because they have to work longer and harder to get you. These days I'm pretty quick at telling who is giving off signs, play it safe though and wait for more because I think that taking a friendly gesture as a romantic advance would be more embarrasing than taking a romantic advance as a friendly gesture.

 

[Head of Vengarl]

There was this really cute girl in one of my college classes who sat right behind me. We grouped up for team assignments and became quite friendly with each other. One day we were walking out of class together, and she was talking about how she was hungry and would love to get something to eat. And apparently I told her that I was done with class for the day and I went home.

Spoiler

We just celebrated our 3 year anniversary.

 

[BlackJace]

There was this really cute girl in one of my college classes who sat right behind me. We grouped up for team assignments and became quite friendly with each other. One day we were walking out of class together, and she was talking about how she was hungry and would love to get something to eat. And apparently I told her that I was done with class for the day and I went home.

Spoiler

We just celebrated our 3 year anniversary.

Haha, that's great. Best of luck

 

[darkiguana]

I have 2 stories:

I was a senior in high school, and had just moved to San Antonio and started my senior year. Me and a buddy went to our school's football game. On the way there he picked up a girl he knows. Now I know absolutely nothing about this girl.(I went to all boys catholic school). I don't really know their situation to well, keep in mind I just moved to town and I really don't know him all that well either. Anyway this girl is pretty cute and we all make small talk on the way to the game. He was part of the Spirit Club so me and the girl wind up sitting together by ourselves the whole game while he hung out with them. And we hit it off pretty well. When the night was over we part ways and me being totally clueless about girls, I don't ask for her number(this is 1995 pre internet, no facebook or email). About month later I went to the homecoming game. And this same girl shows and sits next to me. Without my friend. Just me and her. We talk and she makes a comment about my friend not liking her. Then she says, "Well Bob,I guess you are the only guy for me." And that comment pretty much goes over my head. I guess it could have been an innocent comment. But looking back on it I am pretty sure that she was looking for a reaction of some sort for me and maybe, just maybe if I had reacted in the right way, me and her could have hooked up. That wound up being the last time I saw her.

The second story has a much happier ending:

A few years later, when I was in college. I met this girl who was a friend of my roommates girlfriend. At the time my friend and his girl were not dating,but he decided to play a prank on her(they were still in the flirtation stage) and I helped. We showed up at her dorm and spray silly string in her room and her and her roommate. There are a couple other people including this girl and her then boyfriend. As i am silly stringing the room this girl, the one with the boyfriend, out right tackles me to get the string away from me. I get away from her but shocked that this cute girl practically assaults me We hang out a few times over the semester but since she had a bf I had not given that much thought to pursuing anything.

The next semester her bf was on an internship so she was by herself. Me and her start talking nearly everynight via ICQ( I am really dating myself here) and we become pretty close. We even hung out a few times by ourselves and even drank together, but nothing happens. Since she is w/ bf I did not really think about going for her. I had been in situation prior where I liked a girl w/ a bf and it did go well and did not want to put myself through that again.

The following semester the bf is back on campus and as far a me and any of our friends know her and her bf are happy and there no signs of trouble. Then suddenly one night a friend mine comes to my room and tells me that the girl and her bf broke up. We were all shocked. None of us saw this coming. IOver the next couple of days, me and this girl in question talk more over ICQ. She told me that her and the ex bf had drifted a part and we pretty much going in different directions in their respective lives. But I decide I should wait to pursue anything since she had just broken up w/ her bf of over 2 years. On my 21st birthday me and this girl and some of our firends hanh out and we all start drinking. The girl and I are sitting on a futon and I remember having my arm around her sort of. She told me later I started playing with her ear, but I have no memory of it. I guess we were getting a little flirty A week later me and her are talking on ICQ and conversation starts to get pretty personal. She then tells me she has a secret, but she is afraid to tell me. She tells me she likes me I am shocked. I liked her too, but this had never happened to me before, lol 24 hours later we were dating. She later told me that all of our friends including her mother thought that we would get together after she broke up with the previous bf I had no clue about her feelings until she told me. She said she had been real flirty with me before but I had no clue We have now been married for over 11 years and have a 6 year old.

 

[WordAssassin]

Last night I had a bunch of friends over at my place, ratio was 6 girls to 2 guys. One of the girls, X, I think has a thing for me? But I see her as more of a friend, AND she has a boyfriend already. Her roommate, Y, is hanging out with me in my room away from the rest of the party.

I have a loft bed, and she climbs up into it and is talking down at me, we're both a little buzzed and being flirty, she grabs my hand and sticks my index finger in her mouth and bites the tip. I go, "HEY DON'T BITE THAT! I need it to draw!" and she says why? I say "I need my index finger to hold the pencil." and she says something about 'well you don't need this one to hold the pencil" and does the same thing to my middle finger. I joke back "Nooo how can I flip anyone off now?" and grab her hand, and bite her fingers back in mock-retaliation.

X comes in and does a little cock-block routine, not liking all the attention that Y is getting alone in my room with me. Eventually I run around the house with her in tow enough to get back into my room, Y is still up in my bed (rocking it back and forth to test it out, haha) and I plop down in my computer chair and sigh. She asks me if I would mind if X kissed me. I shrugged and made some non-committal sounds, sure I wouldn't mind a kiss but it's not something I'm really after from her. Didn't think to mention the boyfriend either. I get up and go back to the party.

Hours later it hits me, the door was wide open for me to say, "I'd much rather get a kiss from you." and I've been kicking myself in the ass all day today. So stupid. So stupid!!! Ugh.

 

[bjb]

Last night I had a bunch of friends over at my place, ratio was 6 girls to 2 guys. One of the girls, X, I think has a thing for me? But I see her as more of a friend, AND she has a boyfriend already. Her roommate, Y, is hanging out with me in my room away from the rest of the party.

I have a loft bed, and she climbs up into it and is talking down at me, we're both a little buzzed and being flirty, she grabs my hand and sticks my index finger in her mouth and bites the tip. I go, "HEY DON'T BITE THAT! I need it to draw!" and she says why? I say "I need my index finger to hold the pencil." and she says something about 'well you don't need this one to hold the pencil" and does the same thing to my middle finger. I joke back "Nooo how can I flip anyone off now?" and grab her hand, and bite her fingers back in mock-retaliation.

X comes in and does a little cock-block routine, not liking all the attention that Y is getting alone in my room with me. Eventually I run around the house with her in tow enough to get back into my room, Y is still up in my bed (rocking it back and forth to test it out, haha) and I plop down in my computer chair and sigh. She asks me if I would mind if X kissed me. I shrugged and made some non-committal sounds, sure I wouldn't mind a kiss but it's not something I'm really after from her. Didn't think to mention the boyfriend either. I get up and go back to the party.

Hours later it hits me, the door was wide open for me to say, "I'd much rather get a kiss from you." and I've been kicking myself in the ass all day today. So stupid. So stupid!!! Ugh.

The fuck man? You should have closed the door and banged Y right there. Screw that other broad. Why did you sit back in your chair instead of getting in bed with her when you returned.

 

[John Rabbit]

Last night I had a bunch of friends over at my place, ratio was 6 girls to 2 guys. One of the girls, X, I think has a thing for me? But I see her as more of a friend, AND she has a boyfriend already. Her roommate, Y, is hanging out with me in my room away from the rest of the party.

I have a loft bed, and she climbs up into it and is talking down at me, we're both a little buzzed and being flirty, she grabs my hand and sticks my index finger in her mouth and bites the tip. I go, "HEY DON'T BITE THAT! I need it to draw!" and she says why? I say "I need my index finger to hold the pencil." and she says something about 'well you don't need this one to hold the pencil" and does the same thing to my middle finger. I joke back "Nooo how can I flip anyone off now?" and grab her hand, and bite her fingers back in mock-retaliation.

X comes in and does a little cock-block routine, not liking all the attention that Y is getting alone in my room with me. Eventually I run around the house with her in tow enough to get back into my room, Y is still up in my bed (rocking it back and forth to test it out, haha) and I plop down in my computer chair and sigh. She asks me if I would mind if X kissed me. I shrugged and made some non-committal sounds, sure I wouldn't mind a kiss but it's not something I'm really after from her. Didn't think to mention the boyfriend either. I get up and go back to the party.

Hours later it hits me, the door was wide open for me to say, "I'd much rather get a kiss from you." and I've been kicking myself in the ass all day today. So stupid. So stupid!!! Ugh.

you dun goofed, son.

 

[flamingotripod]

Last night I had a bunch of friends over at my place, ratio was 6 girls to 2 guys. One of the girls, X, I think has a thing for me? But I see her as more of a friend, AND she has a boyfriend already. Her roommate, Y, is hanging out with me in my room away from the rest of the party.

I have a loft bed, and she climbs up into it and is talking down at me, we're both a little buzzed and being flirty, she grabs my hand and sticks my index finger in her mouth and bites the tip. I go, "HEY DON'T BITE THAT! I need it to draw!" and she says why? I say "I need my index finger to hold the pencil." and she says something about 'well you don't need this one to hold the pencil" and does the same thing to my middle finger. I joke back "Nooo how can I flip anyone off now?" and grab her hand, and bite her fingers back in mock-retaliation.

X comes in and does a little cock-block routine, not liking all the attention that Y is getting alone in my room with me. Eventually I run around the house with her in tow enough to get back into my room, Y is still up in my bed (rocking it back and forth to test it out, haha) and I plop down in my computer chair and sigh. She asks me if I would mind if X kissed me. I shrugged and made some non-committal sounds, sure I wouldn't mind a kiss but it's not something I'm really after from her. Didn't think to mention the boyfriend either. I get up and go back to the party.

Hours later it hits me, the door was wide open for me to say, "I'd much rather get a kiss from you." and I've been kicking myself in the ass all day today. So stupid. So stupid!!! Ugh.

finger in her mouth

she put your finger in her mouth and you did nothing?

 

[BannedEpisode]

 

[WordAssassin]

The fuck man? You should have closed the door and banged Y right there. Screw that other broad. Why did you sit back in your chair instead of getting in bed with her when you returned.

Because I am retarded!

Honestly there were a couple things at play:

This was the first party I've thrown in a long time. There were guests that I didn't know, and I'm the kind of host that, even if I'm falling over drunk (which I was by the end of the night) I'm always making sure my guests are having a good time. Also some of my guests were high as fuck so I had to keep an eye on them, I hadn't thought to "child proof" my house before everyone came over.

Secondly, I haven't had sex in over two years, so I've got some anxiety about it there. I haven't even made out with a chick since last March. I'm super out of practice and I didn't want to shit things up, and with my inebriated state as well as the kinds of guests I had there AND her roommate running interference, it would have been a nightmare. Sex would not have happened. I need a lock on my door for sure for future parties but just closing it and going to town would have resulted in a lot of unwanted guests in my room.

This was also the first time that Y and I had really spent any time together (before the party) without anyone else around. We hit it off pretty well I think, she wants to hang out again and watch movies and after she left she texted me "I like your bed. I like your room. I want your bed. Blah. Are you asleep?" I said no but my phone had been on vibrate (and at that point, as I said, I was barely able to walk) and she said "Can you text me something else so we don't stop talking yet?"

SO I MEAN....?

Edit: I should mention that when I got back up from my computer chair to return to the party, X was on her way back to my room again.

 

[John Rabbit]

This was also the first time that Y and I had really spent any time together (before the party) without anyone else around. We hit it off pretty well I think, she wants to hang out again and watch movies and after she left she texted me "I like your bed. I like your room. I want your bed. Blah. Are you asleep?" I said no but my phone had been on vibrate (and at that point, as I said, I was barely able to walk) and she said "Can you text me something else so we don't stop talking yet?"

SO I MEAN....?

 

[BannedEpisode]

Call her and say you want to do something.

Be casual. She obviously wants you. The only way you can fuck this up worse than you have is if you go full retard.

I'm assuming this is all relatively recent of course.

 

[WordAssassin]

Hahahahaha perfect

Call her and say you want to do something.

Be casual. She obviously wants you. The only way you can fuck this up worse than you have is if you go full retard.

I'm assuming this is all relatively recent of course.

It was last night. I'm going out of town tonight for a few days but she wants to hang out when I get back.

AND THAT TERRIFIES ME

 

[BannedEpisode]

Hahahahaha perfect


It was last night. I'm going out of town tonight for a few days but she wants to hang out when I get back.

AND THAT TERRIFIES ME

Sounds like the only thing keeping this from working is going to be you.

Dont give yourself an excuse to not try. You dont have to commit to anything, that used to be my biggest issue.

I'm no lady guru or anything but I can tell you all this ^.

 

[BlackJace]

Hahahahaha perfect


It was last night. I'm going out of town tonight for a few days but she wants to hang out when I get back.

AND THAT TERRIFIES ME

The ball's in your court my man.

Berieve and make it happen, don't forget to check back here

 

[Spring-Loaded]

Hahahahaha perfect


It was last night. I'm going out of town tonight for a few days but she wants to hang out when I get back.

AND THAT TERRIFIES ME

Since this isn't a cold case, you can (you must) make this work. What are you afraid of exactly? And that's not a rhetorical question; what's specifically making you apprehensive about getting with this girl?

 

[Gorillaz]

I complemented a girl on her tattoo at a bar once. She was gorgeous and I wasn't even really trying to pick up on her. She comes and sits next to me, we talk for a bit, she asks me if I like Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory, I say "Of course! That movie is great." She then proceeds to sing in my ear "Don't care how, I want it now." I laughed and complemented her on her singing voice and had no idea that the hottest thing ever had just happened.

I hate my life.

Got Damn that part made me lose it hahaha

 

[WordAssassin]

Since this isn't a cold case, you can (you must) make this work. What are you afraid of exactly? And that's not a rhetorical question; what's specifically making you apprehensive about getting with this girl?

A couple things but mostly anxiety. Pre-show jitters. It's been so long it's like my first time all over again. I like to move at a steady pace and if things escalate too quickly I'm afraid I'll panic and blow it. I get too inside my head sometimes and it fucks everything up.

Humorous story illustrating this: Was kinda seeing a coworker a while back, and we'd made out several times and I'd fingered her but not much else happened. One night we're out with some other coworkers, she gets buzzed, we go back to my place and out of nowhere she's on me and asking "Do you want to fuck me?" At that moment I actually DIDN'T (she was buzzed, I was completely sober, I've had horrible experiences with this combo in the past) but you can't say no in that situation so I said yes, and she strips down and starts yanking my shirt off. My life becomes a comedy movie and I run to grab condoms, trip in the dark, twist my leg as I wrestle my pants off, get the condom on and get in when we realize that my couch is not good for sex. At all. We move to my bed and she hits her head on the wall. I realize the window is open and everyone in the apartment complex can hear us. My neighbor comes home. I panic and lose my boner. Comedy gold in retrospect but holy shit was it awful when it happened!

Another thing is her roommate. Boyfriend or not she obviously likes me in some way but I don't like her that way, I like her roommate that way. I feel like an asshole for this, but I mean, that's the way it is. She's super sweet and friendly but just not my type.

There's also a part of me that's like "This was all just playful flirting, she doesn't actually LIKE you that way, don't read into it and make an ass out of yourself." I mean, I know that that's likely not the case, the finger in the mouth stuff and the grabbing my butt and kissing my cheek, I mean, come on. I have a lot of self-doubt.

But mostly it's the anxiety. Crippling anxiety. Which doesn't make any sense! I've had girlfriends, had sex, it's old hat, whatever. I just get too caught up in my head. I've been focusing on other aspects of my life so hard for so long though it's just... it's stupid is what it is. Everything will be fine I just need to chill out.

 

[akachan ningen]

When I was in high school, this girl who I had a crush on kept coming up to me and talking to me for apparently no reason. I couldn't figure out why. She even asked me about super nerdy things I was into like Magic the Gathering. I didn't figure it out until after HS was over.

 

[zerokoolpsx]

Five years ago I was on a date with a girl. This was the third date I have ever been on so I was a bit nervous. We were meeting at a bar and i had got there early. I was pounding back drinks to calm down and to loosen up. We met up and had dinner and drinks. She didn't have a mustache so it was already the best date I've been on. The conversation and laughs was flowing smoothly all through the night. As we were leaving she mentions how she lives 5 minutes away and I mentioned how I had to take the subway. She offered to walk me to the subway and we ended up doing just that.

We got to the subway and I pulled on the door to the entrance to the place it was locked. Boom. A transit strike just occurred and I couldn't use the TTC. She asks me what I'm going to do and I mention how I'll have to take a cab or walk home. She says to me, "Why don't you sleep over at my place. you can sleep in my bed". I reply, "No, no its ok, I'll take a cab home". I then proceed to hail a cab and hop in. On my way home she calls me twice asking me if alright and if I still want to come over to her place.

I face palm myself everytime I think of that date.

Wow DUDE......

 

[Spring-Loaded]

A couple things but mostly anxiety. Pre-show jitters. It's been so long it's like my first time all over again. I like to move at a steady pace and if things escalate too quickly I'm afraid I'll panic and blow it. I get too inside my head sometimes and it fucks everything up.

Humorous story illustrating this: Was kinda seeing a coworker a while back, and we'd made out several times and I'd fingered her but not much else happened. One night we're out with some other coworkers, she gets buzzed, we go back to my place and out of nowhere she's on me and asking "Do you want to fuck me?" At that moment I actually DIDN'T (she was buzzed, I was completely sober, I've had horrible experiences with this combo in the past) but you can't say no in that situation so I said yes, and she strips down and starts yanking my shirt off. My life becomes a comedy movie and I run to grab condoms, trip in the dark, twist my leg as I wrestle my pants off, get the condom on and get in when we realize that my couch is not good for sex. At all. We move to my bed and she hits her head on the wall. I realize the window is open and everyone in the apartment complex can hear us. My neighbor comes home. I panic and lose my boner. Comedy gold in retrospect but holy shit was it awful when it happened!

Another thing is her roommate. Boyfriend or not she obviously likes me in some way but I don't like her that way, I like her roommate that way. I feel like an asshole for this, but I mean, that's the way it is. She's super sweet and friendly but just not my type.

There's also a part of me that's like "This was all just playful flirting, she doesn't actually LIKE you that way, don't read into it and make an ass out of yourself." I mean, I know that that's likely not the case, the finger in the mouth stuff and the grabbing my butt and kissing my cheek, I mean, come on. I have a lot of self-doubt.

But mostly it's the anxiety. Crippling anxiety. Which doesn't make any sense! I've had girlfriends, had sex, it's old hat, whatever. I just get too caught up in my head. I've been focusing on other aspects of my life so hard for so long though it's just... it's stupid is what it is. Everything will be fine I just need to chill out.

What happen?

 

[WordAssassin]

What happen?

Ok so I went back home on Wednesday with my cousin, who wanted to visit for a few days and check out my new digs.

Things started a little shakey, I wasn't sure where I stood - I'd told my crush that I wanted to watch a movie with her Thursday night, and she came back with "But my roommate won't be able to come she has work." In my mind, I'm thinking "Good, I don't want your roommate to come anyway and my cousin can scram too." but also I'm thinking, why would she bring that up at all?

Anyway, my cousin was eager to weigh in on things so we invited both over Wednesday night and played a bunch of video games together and then watched Airplane. His assessment was that my crush was feelin' me but it was a little iffy because the roommate was running interference - sitting between us, putting her arm in mine, resting her head on my shoulder - so he wasn't sure if crush was trying to keep her distance due to her friendship with roommate.

Then Thursday came and crush came over and we watched The Stuff with my cousin. (Note: this movie is incredible if you like super awful 80's horror movies, and it's on Netflix instant) My crush was much more flirtatious without her roommate around and we got into a bunch if playful teasing and punching matches. Roommate came over later on and things went back to normal.

My cousin said that it was obvious that she liked me but I needed time alone with her, that since she's geeky like I am maybe she's not savvy with the romantic stuff. This was all resolved on Friday when, after our friend bailed on Dude Night, my cuz suggested that we invite the ladies over. I sent my crush a text but she couldn't, she was already out with some friends, but she wished she could.

Then things got really easy because she straight-out asked me how I felt about her. I told her I thought she was fantastic and beautiful and she came back with thank you's and that she thought I was very handsome, and that she thinks she likes me a lot. I told her thank you and that I also think I like her a lot, and we have plans to hang out Monday night.

Theoretically it will just be us hanging out Monday, no roommate, so of course my anxieties and insecurities are perched and ready. It's been a LONG time since I've been on any kind of "first date" type of situation, (more than three years I think), and now the fact we mutually like each other is out there in the air so I don't know how she's gonna act or how I'm supposed to act and I just have to remember to stay cool and breathe and it'll be fun and she's cool and the hard part's over so don't fuck up.

 

[nimbus]

My first GF initiated sexual contact by reaching her hands down my pants after three dates where we only made out. I straight didn't know how to make a move even though we were already kissing, and thought making out was the endgame. Then again, we were always outdoors, but it didn't stop her from reaching in and touching my boner.

 

[Arthrus]

My first girlfriend kept inviting me to things on our own for before we were seeing one another and one day she said "Did you know that next Wednesday is International-Tell-Someone-You-Love-Them-Day?"

I checked if it was a Facebook thing (of course it wasn't). Fortunately, three days later I figured it out. So began my embarrassing/awkward first relationship. Oh high school!

 

[Levyne]

I'm either so clueless that nothing comes to mind, or nothing comes to mind because it's never happened.

 

[Sadsic]

once i showed my dick to a woman a lot older than me and she told me she wanted to have sex but i didnt realize she wanted to have sex with me

 

[Famassu]

A couple of girls kept asking if I have a hairy ass for a few minutes, I just showed a thumbs up and grinned stupidly, not really answering their question. Turns out one of those two had a crush on me. Go figure.

 

[Danj]

I'm either so clueless that nothing comes to mind, or nothing comes to mind because it's never happened.

Don't worry, you're not the only one, I'm definitely in that same situation.

 

[GasProblem]

The couple of advances I've had were pretty blatant.

Lately there's a girl coming on to me hard. It was during a trip with 25 other people. She said that she wanted me to dance with her during a gala otherwise she would cancel the whole gala, during a night out she said "I'm yours" and kept trying to dance with me and during the day she kept batting her eyes etc. Thing is, I'm not into woman and I didn't have any time to pull her apart from the group and tell her I'm gay. I hoped that by shrugging off all her advances she'd get the hint. I felt bad leading her on instead of straight out telling her. But I didn't want the whole group to know.

I need more of these blatant advances from men instead of girls, sigh.

 

[Psycho_Mantis]

I don't have any stories to tell, but I yearn for the day, when girls could just be blunt. "Hey, do you wanna come over to my place and have raucous experimental sex with me?"

"Yeah sure".

All the needless hinting crap has been cut in two sentences, there's no ambiguity, everyone gets what they want.

Basically uni.

 

[Spring-Loaded]

Ok so I went back home on Wednesday with my cousin, who wanted to visit for a few days and check out my new digs.

Things started a little shakey, I wasn't sure where I stood - I'd told my crush that I wanted to watch a movie with her Thursday night, and she came back with "But my roommate won't be able to come she has work." In my mind, I'm thinking "Good, I don't want your roommate to come anyway and my cousin can scram too." but also I'm thinking, why would she bring that up at all?

Anyway, my cousin was eager to weigh in on things so we invited both over Wednesday night and played a bunch of video games together and then watched Airplane. His assessment was that my crush was feelin' me but it was a little iffy because the roommate was running interference - sitting between us, putting her arm in mine, resting her head on my shoulder - so he wasn't sure if crush was trying to keep her distance due to her friendship with roommate.

Then Thursday came and crush came over and we watched The Stuff with my cousin. (Note: this movie is incredible if you like super awful 80's horror movies, and it's on Netflix instant) My crush was much more flirtatious without her roommate around and we got into a bunch if playful teasing and punching matches. Roommate came over later on and things went back to normal.

My cousin said that it was obvious that she liked me but I needed time alone with her, that since she's geeky like I am maybe she's not savvy with the romantic stuff. This was all resolved on Friday when, after our friend bailed on Dude Night, my cuz suggested that we invite the ladies over. I sent my crush a text but she couldn't, she was already out with some friends, but she wished she could.

Then things got really easy because she straight-out asked me how I felt about her. I told her I thought she was fantastic and beautiful and she came back with thank you's and that she thought I was very handsome, and that she thinks she likes me a lot. I told her thank you and that I also think I like her a lot, and we have plans to hang out Monday night.

Theoretically it will just be us hanging out Monday, no roommate, so of course my anxieties and insecurities are perched and ready. It's been a LONG time since I've been on any kind of "first date" type of situation, (more than three years I think), and now the fact we mutually like each other is out there in the air so I don't know how she's gonna act or how I'm supposed to act and I just have to remember to stay cool and breathe and it'll be fun and she's cool and the hard part's over so don't fuck up.

Well, that puts my mind at ease. Thanks!