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‘The Northman’ Rated “R” for Strong Bloody Violence and Nudity

jason10mm

Gold Member
Any boobies in it besides Skarsgard?
Not really. Like I mentioned before, if you squint hard and brighten the screen on a freeze frame I bet you could make out a nipple or nipple cover at best. I'm actually kinda surprised there wasn't full on dual flapping dong in one or two scenes, seemed appropriate :p

This is a very masculine film IMHO but sexual it is not.
 

Bragr

Banned
Interesting that they make all these shows about Vikings where they are all portrayed in this sexed up, glorified manner. Any other group of violent colonialists are always portrayed as evil monsters by the media but the Vikings get a free pass.

I'm not complaining, just noting the double standards. When can we expect a TV show depicting the British Empire in this manner?
Fuck that, what about islam, or japan, or egypt, those have gotten a free pass forever now.
 

jason10mm

Gold Member
What is going on with all the discussions about tits and dicks in here?

Why would you watch a movie for 3 seconds of tits? there are 234834987125781257245908 hours of porn online.
Has any movie, EVER, not been improved by some boobs? It's just science, man. Dont you belive in science?
 

IDKFA

I am Become Bilbo Baggins
I was also kind of shocked it didn't have more blood and gore. Wish Mel didn't go all racist and drunkard so we could have gotten his Viking movie. I bet that would have been amazing. Anyway, this was entertaining enough, but felt kind of small. I give it 3 Bjork R Rolls out of 5.

Mel Gibson's Berserker and Vin Diesel's Hannibal the Conqueror are two of my most anticipated films that will probably never get made. They're like my film versions of Half Life 3.
 

jason10mm

Gold Member
100% agree with the above review on all accounts.

Had The Northman included some "diversity" elements or god forbid, modern sensibilities (Kidman bemoaning that she needs to be attached to a man to get anything done in society, perhaps), I don't think it would have made it a bad film but it would have diluted the purity of the experience and confused the message. As a man, a father, and someone tied to this culture (if that is even a thing) there is a resonance in the movie for me that I'm glad was allowed to be FOR ME, not spread so thin on a dozen pieces of toast to give anyone and everyone a taste. But my wife liked it as well (though much of it she lacks the literature exposure to understand until I explained it) so clearly the impact can carry to a woman, a mother, as well.

These types of films are becoming increasingly rare. Not just films that have a targeted appeal to me, but films that have a targeted appeal TO ANYONE. They all seem to be swinging for the fences of a global grand slam and end up in a strike instead of a modest swing for consistent second bases and a portfolio of movies that each hit specific groups hard and have some cross-over appeal.
 

SirTerry-T

Member
So is this film up there with Apocalypto and Verhoeven's "Flesh and Blood" as far as brutal, fantasy/semi historical blood and guts films go?
I like Egger's work but the Lighthouse, as great as it was left me a bit disappointed.
I was hoping for something a bit more old school spooky as opposed to the psychological horror we ended up with.
Hell of a director though.
 

jason10mm

Gold Member
So is this film up there with Apocalypto and Verhoeven's "Flesh and Blood" as far as brutal, fantasy/semi historical blood and guts films go?
I like Egger's work but the Lighthouse, as great as it was left me a bit disappointed.
I was hoping for something a bit more old school spooky as opposed to the psychological horror we ended up with.
Hell of a director though.
Apocalypto and F+B are good comparisons as far as the feeling of "being there" visceralness goes. Northman is far more spiritual than either though, there are several hallucinogenic scenes and a (totally bad ass) straight up fantasy sequence. I don't recall much of a fantastical element in Apoc though it certainly deals with spirituality.

Fuuuck, now I have a new watchlist for a weekend without the fam :p
 
I thought it was pretty good overall, but I thought the second half of the film felt... weird? It felt like the Assassin's Creed version of the story, as opposed to the the first half where they made an attempt to be painstakingly accurate to the mythology and setting. I laughed out loud when Skarsgaard started to slouch to pretend to be a slave - it reminded me of the paper-thin 'explanation' of why people never realize that Clark Kent is Superman.
clarksuperman_330_3985.jpg


Having said all that, as I said before, it still comes together as a damn fine film overall... but I think I liked The Lighthouse more, and The Witch is Eggers' masterpiece in my opinion.
 
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j0hnnix

Gold Member
Just saw this. Beautifully filmed movie. It's definitely not a hard R movie.. I've seen worse on shudder.. But that's not the attraction of this, sure it's a typical revenge movie from the simplicity of it,. But touches so many aspects of viking mentality perfectly, also, the cinematography is on a whole other level. The finale is so well done it captured me.

While the witch left some unease this does not reach those levels of atmosphere that was left with that movie, overall a great movie in its own.

I had to many beers...
 
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Mossybrew

Member
Probably check this out at some point, but I thought The WItch sucked bigtime, and Lighthouse looked like pretentious garbage so never bothered.
 

sankt-Antonio

:^)--?-<
Liked the movie. It's basically Conan in a new setting and more serious. Would have liked to see more nudity and gore. Was kind of tame all around. Could be a UHD showcase title. A tad too long.
 

sol_bad

Member
Movie was really good both in terms of plot and visuals. Wife and I enjoyed it a lot. Basically a revenge film.

I have to say though that America needs to bloody fix it's ratings system. It's no where near as brutal or violent as Apocalypto for example and kiddies can watch it here in Australia. So yeah, in terms of violence I was very let down.
 

Chiggs

Member
Ended up buying it last night. That's $24.99 I wish I had back.

Far be it from me to insult darling Eggers, but the movie is kind of an interesting mess--but mostly a mess. At times there's incredible imagery and savagery, and then there are times when the whole thing just rubs me as needlessly self-indulgent and hammy. I did get a huge laugh out of the final sword fight, especially when both men are yelling at each other for what feels like 5 minutes. I don't know why either the director or editor thought that needed to be included to the extent it was, but it did give me some much needed laughter after an emotionally-draining week at work.

With its stunning box office underperformance, I don't see how anyone gives Eggers anything close to 100 million ever again--not without an extremely short leash attached. To be fair, he didn't have the final cut on this one, so was this true to his vision? I kind of think it was, but who knows....

Eggers is going to need a sure-fire hit on his next modestly-priced outing, or his career will experience a stark "re-imagining."

5/10 is my score.
 
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Ulysses 31

Member
Ended up buying it last night. That's $24.99 I wish I had back.

Far be it from me to insult darling Eggers, but the movie is kind of an interesting mess--but mostly a mess. At times there's incredible imagery and savagery, and then there are times when the whole thing just rubs me as needlessly self-indulgent and hammy. I did get a huge laugh out of the final sword fight, especially when both men are yelling at each other for what feels like 5 minutes. I don't know why either the director or editor thought that needed to be included to the extent it was, but it did give me some much needed laughter after an emotionally-draining week at work.

With its stunning box office underperformance, I don't see how anyone gives Eggers anything close to 100 million ever again--not without an extremely short leash attached. To be fair, he didn't have the final cut on this one, so was this true to his vision? I kind of think it was, but who knows....

Eggers is going to need a sure-fire hit on his next modestly-priced outing, or his career will experience a stark "re-imagining."

5/10 is my score.
What did you think of The Lighthouse (2019)? 👀
 

mortal

Gold Member
This was a pretty solid film with gorgeous cinematography and art direction. With a very fitting soundtrack as well.
The Conan comparisons are apt, although the characters in this aren't as memorable imo.
Although, in terms of action I was expecting far more brutality than what was depicted.
 

Chiggs

Member
What did you think of The Lighthouse (2019)? 👀

I enjoyed that one more than I thought I would, largely because of Dafoe, but absolutely loathed The Witch...which pretty well encapsulates the modern critical darling horror movie that doesn't live up to the hype. I felt somewhat relieved when I read that even Eggers hates that movie.
 
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SJRB

Gold Member
That was pretty awesome. Standard story kept going by really great cinematography and the gigantic traps on Alexander Skarsgard.

I swear to god that guy must shrug like 500 pounds.
 

Vaelka

Member
I watched it yesterday and I LOVED it, I think some people went in expecting it to be more actioney tho ( and focus more on the Berserker stuff ) and were disappointed.
It's not really like that at all.
 

Outlier

Member
I thought it was just ok, I wasn't impressed by anything. The only interesting part of the movie was showing SOME of the ritual practices and beliefs they somewhat had.

Otherwise it's just a revenge story, where no one is the good guy.
 

Konnor

Member
Another art-house flick that is all style and no substance. Aside from the awesome cinematography the movie was pointless, there was no one to care or root for and the story was simplistic and uninteresting. Reminds me a lot of The Green Knight, another forgettable, pretentious clusterfuck that leaves you empty when you finish watching the movie.

At least with videogames you can fall back to indie games because most of AAA development fucking sucks, Hollywood has managed to make both terrible, mainstream movies are full of Marvel-tier trash and other boring shit that look like they were made in a factory and indie films are pretentious crap from directors that like smelling their own farts. This is hopeless.
 

SJRB

Gold Member
This movie is interesting to think about.

The story felt extremely videogame-y, a grande adventure of revenge with a boss battle at an epic location, including a quest to find a mythical weapon in the tomb of a long-forgotten king. The action was great one moment, kinda poor the next. There are multiple one-take scenes that are crazy impressive. The movie spends a LONG time on all kinds of rituals. The visuals and locales are incredible to see. There are some bizarre spikes in gore and brutality that don't really mesh and feel out of place [one instance is just comically bizarre]. The movie flirts with weirdness and supernatural elements but never goes the full distance, making it unfulfilling. It is remarkably straightforward, and considering the director I was constantly waiting for the some dread, something uncomfortable, but it never came.

It's a slow burn that's both great to experience and unrewarding to sit through. I honestly don't understand why they expected this to be a box office success. Someone a few posts above compared this to the Green Knight and I think that comparison is apt. A director's personal project with a way too big a budget.
 
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DAHGAMING

Gold Member
Just watched this, loved it. Yep a revenge film but the way its filmed is great and feels different to most shit now days trying to include every type of cunt.
 
I loved it, want to get it in 4K at the end of the month when it releases in Aus and watch it again.

I really loved the Norse mythos worked through the movie, easily the most on point Norse representation in media.
 

12Goblins

Lil’ Gobbie
Ended up buying it last night. That's $24.99 I wish I had back.

Far be it from me to insult darling Eggers, but the movie is kind of an interesting mess--but mostly a mess. At times there's incredible imagery and savagery, and then there are times when the whole thing just rubs me as needlessly self-indulgent and hammy. I did get a huge laugh out of the final sword fight, especially when both men are yelling at each other for what feels like 5 minutes. I don't know why either the director or editor thought that needed to be included to the extent it was, but it did give me some much needed laughter after an emotionally-draining week at work.

With its stunning box office underperformance, I don't see how anyone gives Eggers anything close to 100 million ever again--not without an extremely short leash attached. To be fair, he didn't have the final cut on this one, so was this true to his vision? I kind of think it was, but who knows....

Eggers is going to need a sure-fire hit on his next modestly-priced outing, or his career will experience a stark "re-imagining."

5/10 is my score.
yeah made it half way through; well made but the story is just very dumb.
 
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SJRB

Gold Member



Some cool behind the scenes commentary from Robert Eggers. Nothing mindblowing but it's cool to see how they created certain shots.

Massive spoilers, of course.
 
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EverydayBeast

thinks Halo Infinite is a new graphical benchmark
I saw the history channel’s Vikings every season even Netflix’s Vikings and was looking for another Viking thing to watch. Some of the close up shots around the fires was strange, them showing the Vikings aggression was valuable.
 
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