Mineshaft_Gap
4077th
Or: I had a stroke in my mid-20's and it can happen to you. Also PSA: for the love of fuck sign up for Health Insurance.
Be warned: My story is a long one with many twists and turns. The above could be considered the condensed TL/DR version though I encourage you to read about the whole fucked up affair. I'll try to break it up and make it easy to follow so that it isn't just a wall of text. Apologies in advance for spelling, punctuation, grammatical, and all other mistakes I make with the English language. I'm going to blame this on the fact that I had a stroke (and just took a Vicodin) and not on the real reason which is that I'm a shit writer who has a hard time retaining the fundamentals.
The Initial Event: Work
It all started while I was work the day before Thanksgiving. I was sitting at my desk looking at my phone and I felt a twinge of pain in the back of my neck. I thought maybe I just twisted it wrong or craned it in an odd way since the pain didn't start out too intense. That would change as my shift progressed. The pain in the back of my neck went from dull ache to intense, somewhat terrifying ache over the course of the next few hours. I took some Naproxen. It didn't put a dent in my pain.
I went on lunch and sat reclined in my car with a pillow under my head. I could not find any position that would alleviate the pain. This started to make me worry that maybe it wasn't just a muscle spasm or similar benign random ache or pain. I started to think maybe I had meningitis. I didn't think this likely because I could touch my chin to my chest and I didn't have any other symptoms at the time (most common of which for meningitis would be fever). After a few hours the pain got so intense that I had to leave work early. I made the ~45 minute or so drive home and got into bed.
Spoiler Alert: The event that took place inside my noggin/neck turned out to be something called a vertebral artery dissection. It would be many days before I would find out that's what it was but there's no reason to keep you waiting, right? We'll get back to this.
The Aftermath: Home
So I got home and crawled into bed and slept for a couple hours. The neck pain had more or less subsided at this point, especially once I was in my actual bed. When I woke up I felt kind of... I don't know -- out of it. I felt feverish but I checked didn't have a fever. I went to pee and felt a certain lack of coordination but chalked it up to having just woke up from a nap. I crawled back in bed.
I sleep for a couple more hours and I wake up again. My neck doesn't hurt at all now but I still feel woozy and not quite right, I'm also very hungry. I went downstairs and poured myself a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. I chewed them up real good like, turned them into a nice saliva and cheerio goo, see? I swallowed and you won't believe what happened next!
They got stuck in my throat. They made it passed by tongue but not quite down my esophagus. They stuck in the bottom of my throat. I panicked and tried swallowing again to no avail. I went over to the sink and coughed. My cough was weak, weaker than it normally would/should be but chewed up cheerio paste came flying out nevertheless. At this point I'm pretty well freaked out but have no idea what could actually be happening to me. I tried taking another bite and the same thing happened. I tried drinking water and began coughing uncontrollably. At this point it became clear to me that I could not swallow food without it getting stuck, and i could not drink liquids without aspirating. That should be the main take-away from this section of the story.
Emergency Room: Part 1 - The Bush League | Possible Lawsuit Area?
I'm not someone who rushes to seek medical attention or the emergency room at any little thing. I posted once about one of the most painful experiences I've ever had and even this did not prompt a visit to the Emergency Room. This though, this whole thing that was happening right now I could tell was different. I needed to go to an Emergency Room and get checked out because my shit was clearly fucked up in some sort of serious way. So I did what any uninsured mid-20's person freaked out over a health condition would do: I drove to an urgent care because it would be considerably less expensive.
Once I arrived at my local Urgent Care I told them my symptoms (the neck pain, inability to swallow). After listening, the Urgent Care people said that I needed to go to an actual emergency room and refused to see me. It was clear they probably already had an idea as to what happened and knew they weren't equipped to run the sorts of tests needed to confirm what had happened.
The closest ER was located in a city that many area natives refer to as *place-name*-tucky. Kind of like Kentucky. This practice might not be nice, but it's not wrong. It's kind of a shit town and the hospital was also shit as I would soon find out. I say all this now but I didn't know it at the time. Plus, it was only about a 5 minute drive.
I arrive at the hospital and go to the emergency room area. I tell the receptionist what's happening and I get a bed within 10 minutes. Not a long wait, lucky me they weren't very busy. I see a doctor within about a half hour or so and explain EVERYTHING. All my symptoms up to this point. I'm not one to leave out details. I stressed the pain in my neck and how I thought it might be related to my swallow and I mentioned the overall wooziness I was experiencing. Their first course of action: put me on an IV steroid to see if that improves my ability to swallow. (It didn't.) After a certain amount of time I can't remember I become physically ill and throw up. I'm really not feeling so great.
Some time goes by and the doctor returns to ask me about the pneumonia I had earlier in the year (February). He mentions that I had X-Rays done which I confirm. He wants to give me more chest X-Rays in addition to a Barium Swallow Test. At this point, I'm pretty sure whatever is going on is related to my head/neck ache. I mentioned this to the doctor but felt he was thoroughly dismissive of this line of thinking. Quite frankly, I thought he was dismissive overall and not particularly interested in my case. For what focus he had, it was strictly on the GI aspect of my condition.
My chest X-Ray is normal and I "pass" the barium swallow test with some difficulty (having to swallow several times to get the shit down my throat). I should note at this point that the barium is extremely heavy and one sip will force its way down your throat through sheer force of gravity. If someone would just watch me try to eat or drink they would see -- it's not happening. I can't fake something physically not going down my throat.
I get sick again and it looks like there might be some blood in my vomit which is near my bed in a pink bucket/tray. The doctor comes in and observes this detail in passing before suggesting that I be admitted so that I can be seen by a gastroenterologist. I think "well that makes sense but it still doesn't really address the concerns I have about the neck pain and how it might be connected along with everything else." I express that to the doctor and he brushes it off. It's the day before Thanksgiving and this is a bush-league hospital so he tells me a GI probably won't be in for a couple of days. I decline being admitted to the hospital because something just doesn't feel right, plus, why pay for staying in the hospital for a couple of days when the doctor you're there to see won't be in. All the while, what's happening to me is NOT treated as an emergency. The doctor nods and walks away.
I need to use the bathroom at one point while at the ER. When I go to wash my hands I notice something rather odd. My left hand can feel the hot water but my right hand cannot. What I feel in my right hand can only be described as strange electrical-type sensations. RED FUCKING FLAG. I'll elaborate on this symptom later because it's fucking bananas. I don't know if I had this symptom prior to rolling in to the ER or whether it's onset took place while I was there. The more I think about it, the more likely it seems to have been a thing that happened while I was being treated in the ER. In other words, I had a minor stroke while in their care and they did not notice.
I told the doctor exactly what I felt but I told him I wasn't sure when the onset of this symptom began. He did NOT seem interested and this information did not change the course of action he was taking. In retrospect, this is FUCKED. At this point the neck pain, inability to swallow, and left/right sensory differential are telltale signs of brain damage. Here is where I feel an enormous amount of resentment towards the ER, the doctor, and the bill I would receive from them.
I was discharged with instructions to return to the ER if I could not eat or drink. Based on these instructions I should have walked right back in as soon as I got to the parking lot because I STILL couldn't swallow anything. I was given IV antibiotics before leaving in addition to a prescription for amoxicillin. I did NOT have an infection that would warrant such treatment and was given no real explanation it. My release notes don't mention anything related to the left side/right side sensory differential or the severe neck pain. They only mention the dysphagia and nothing else. The doctor wouldn't even give me a note that got me off the hook for work the next day.
I drove home.
Home Again: The scene where Peter Parker discovers his powers.
I got home. I tried to drink a McDonald's Milk Shake but could not get it down my throat. I just kept coughing up anything I tried to swallow except for thin liquids that would make a B-line straight for my lungs. I spent some time becoming familiar with my new symptoms: nauseousness and the fact that my ability to sense certain things is cut in half in a straight line down the center of my body. I take an ice cube and roll it from my left shoulder, across my chest, to my right shoulder. In the middle of my rib cage I cease to feel the "cold" once it passes over to the right side of my body. I can feel things on my right side, but the feelings just aren't right. I can sense soft touches just fine but pain (like being poked by a toothpick) feels like a finger poking me - not a sharp toothpick. When I pick up a can of soda straight out of the fridge it feels like it's room temperature, like I just took it out of the box at the supermarket. In my left hand I can feel that it's ice cold.
I think "This is fucked" and get in my car. I drive to what's supposed to be the best hospital in the state.
Emergency Room 2: Electromagnetic Imaging Machine Boogaloo
I drive an hour or so to the state's top hospital. Best in GI, best in Neurology. I think these people will probably know what's up. By the way, it's Thanksgiving now. I arrive sometime around 5 or 6 AM. And when I arrive, literally feet from my car... I vomit violently. VIOLENTLY. Someone inside sees me and ushers me inside. I go through the initial process of describing my symptoms again. I get a bed right away and speak to an ER doctor, she takes notes and before long.... a neurologist comes to visit. Unlike Podunk shit tier ER Part 1 that doesn't staff a GI on the day BEFORE Thanksgiving, this place has a neurologist the DAY OF Thanksgiving. He has me do what turns out to be some fairly standard, simple brain damage tests.
"Squeeze my fingers as hard as you can. Good. Lift your left leg. Good. Lift your right leg. Good. Lift both arms. Good. Pull me towards you, push me away from you. Good. Follow my finger with your eyes. How many fingers am I holding up? Touch your nose and touch my finger. Good. All good. One last thing..." he pulls out a small finger full of spark wooden sticks (toothpicks?) He pokes me with all over my body. On the left side they feel spark and I can feel each individual stick, on he right side it doesn't feel sharp and it doesn't feel like several individual small objects/sticks. He takes note of this and orders that I get a CT scan right away.
Fast forward about 20 minutes. This place is really not busy... I get right in to have my CT scan. The procedure doesn't bother me but I'm worried about what they might find. The CT scan wraps up and I get back to my bed in the ER. A little while later the doctor returns to tell me that I have a paralyzed vocal cord. Something done fucked up inside my noodle and he admits me to the hospital. Things seem to be on the right track. Next stop? MRI.
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I'm going to finish this later because I'm tired of typing for now and despite trying to make it fun and easy to follow, it makes me pretty emotional talking/thinking about it. There's still quite a lot more bullshit that takes place between the CT scan and me getting the diagnosis that I had a stroke. I get two MRIs, an MRA, a spinal tap, and several other tests. It takes about a week. In the span of that week I do not eat ANY food of ANY kind despite trying desperately. Turns out Hospital 2 has a bit of a listening problem as well.
Rest assured, the story will conclude shortly if you're interested. For now, in conclusion: I had a stroke, I'm in my 20's, I was in the hospital for close to a month and I just got released the other day. I don't have insurance. All of this can happen to you and in some cases (like my case) there's nothing you can do about it. Except sign up for health insurance. BTW, sign up for health insurance.
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One last thing. You can find my gofundme by googling "Just kidding!"
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STORY CONTINUED
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And now, part two oftwo part a multi part series on my stroke. I'll post this here and I'll also update the OP
Emergency Room 2: Electromagnetic Imaging Machine Boogaloo Continued...
So, a paralyzed vocal cord is what came back from the CT scan. That's certainly a sign that something bad happened inside my noodle, but what? I hadn't even really noticed, but according to people I'd been in contact with during the first couple days of this event my voice was really fucked up and horse sounding. I kind of just thought I was tired and thus, had some vocal fry going on. The point is I didn't even notice this as a symptom (and neither did ER #1). But to drive the point home... my voice did not sound normal. Which would make sense having had a paralyzed vocal cord I guess, huh? Oh yeah, and to give you bearings on the timeline this is about 28 hours after the very first onset of symptoms (neck pain). Thanksgiving Day.
I said in my first post that the next step after the CT scan was the MRI but now that I've had a bit of time I remember that's not exactly how it went. Following the CT scan I was admitted as a patient into the hospital. I met the doctor who would be my primary care physician for the duration of my stay at the hospital (excepting a short few day stint which I may go into detail about). For the purposes of this post I'm going to name all of my doctors after animals so that it's easier to follow along with the cast of characters. So... let me give her profile and stats real quick.
Dr. Peggy Penguin was nice but as it turns out she was kind of a shit doctor. Her bedside manner was good insofar as she seemed sympathetic and I felt as though she cared. She was also readily available if and when I had any significant questions of requests for medications. That being said, her actions and inaction put my life at risk at worst and destroyed my quality of life while in hospital at best. But hey, at least she was nice? By the way, I'm not giving SPECIAL to any other doctor. They're all zero except for the neurologist(s) who probably saved my life (literally or in terms of things I would have lost if I had more strokes).
While in my room but before my first MRI we discussed the possibilities of what was wrong and more or less things that I don't remember and therefore aren't worth mentioning.
I go for my first MRI.
They move me down to that section of the hospital asking me a TON of questions about whether or not I have any metal inside me. Thank God I didn't get that copper IUD, huh? I answer all of their questions and I recall a small portion of the conversation I had with Dr. Penguin mentioning that MRI's are extremely expensive. "Fuck my life" I think as I lay in the MRI section of the hospital for about half an hour. After that, it's go time.
The MRI people tell me they have Pandora and so I can listen to whatever I want while I'm in the machine. We all know they're lying but I tell them Simon and Garfunkel because I want something relaxing while I'm in the machine. I'd never had an MRI before but I heard that people with claustrophobia have a really hard time with them. Thankfully, I don't suffer from anything of the sort. I have nothing to fear from the MRI machine except for the fact that I have to sit very still for, what would feel like to me, a very long time.
As I said, MRI tests require you to sit very still. There's two details that come into play now that I think you should know. First, I've been kind of sick (cold, mild flu-like symptoms) for a few weeks leading up to this point including right now. Second, I can't swallow, remember? During all of this time I've had an increase in saliva and mucus that I haven't been able to swallow, so I've been spitting it into a McDonald's cup through a straw that I've had with me since I checked into the ER. Yes, this is very gross. Also, the prospect of having to sit still for forty-five minutes to an hour without being able to move and therefore not being able to spit out the pool of mucus and saliva that would accumulate inside my mouth was making me very nervous.
After several false starts ("Wait, wait. Let me spit one more time.") I went in. I don't know how I did it, but I did. Spoiler:
I think Simon and Garfunkel helped. I closed my eyes and basically tried to zen myself to a place where I didn't produce any spit.
I get back onto my travel bed and go back out into the MRI waiting area and wait for someone to take me back up to my room which happens after a relatively short wait. These tests take some time to interpret but not too long, maybe a few hours. I can't remember a whole lot about what happened between the MRI and the results of the MRI. I should note that I don't know who's reading my MRI results. I think there's someone who's job it is to specifically look at these scans and interpret them. Just a reminder, it's Thanksgiving. Later on I'll think that maybe the A-Squad had the day off and it was the B-Squad in charge of interpreting the results of MY MRI.
"Unremarkable."
That's what my nurse tells me based on what she saw in my chart that updates on her computer as changes are made. It was nice of her to give me a little teaser before Dr. Penguin can come in later on to explain more or less the same thing. The MRI does not show anything outside of the ordinary. No lesions, no nothing. According to the MRI I have a normal, healthy brain. But something is fucked up about my vocal cord, so what's the deal?
She thinks it might be viral. Evidently, sometimes the flu can fuck your brain up. So can viral meningitis. An infection of some sort is the path we're on for now and it's the path we'll be on for several days. Doctor Penguin says she had another girl in not that long ago with dysphagia and similar-ish symptoms. Her dysphagia was treated successfully with IV steroids. So she puts me on IV steroids and says they'll have to confirm the infection. How does one do such a thing?
Spinal Tap
Also a swab of the deepest, darkest corner of my nasal cavity. The spinal tap will need to wait until tomorrow, the nasal swab takes place shortly after Dr. Penguin leaves. It's rather uncomfortable as it's like getting a pap smear inside your nose hole. In fact, this is a lot like the brush they use:
Oh yeah, she also ordered more swallow tests. More barium for me.
More like Bari-yum!
Stay Tuned for Part Three. I thought I could write this in a single sitting. Then I thought I could write it in two. Here's hoping third time's the charm. Fuck my life in the meantime and I'll be around to answer questions periodically. Sorry for having to spread this out, it's just taking longer than expected.
Be warned: My story is a long one with many twists and turns. The above could be considered the condensed TL/DR version though I encourage you to read about the whole fucked up affair. I'll try to break it up and make it easy to follow so that it isn't just a wall of text. Apologies in advance for spelling, punctuation, grammatical, and all other mistakes I make with the English language. I'm going to blame this on the fact that I had a stroke (and just took a Vicodin) and not on the real reason which is that I'm a shit writer who has a hard time retaining the fundamentals.
The Initial Event: Work
It all started while I was work the day before Thanksgiving. I was sitting at my desk looking at my phone and I felt a twinge of pain in the back of my neck. I thought maybe I just twisted it wrong or craned it in an odd way since the pain didn't start out too intense. That would change as my shift progressed. The pain in the back of my neck went from dull ache to intense, somewhat terrifying ache over the course of the next few hours. I took some Naproxen. It didn't put a dent in my pain.
I went on lunch and sat reclined in my car with a pillow under my head. I could not find any position that would alleviate the pain. This started to make me worry that maybe it wasn't just a muscle spasm or similar benign random ache or pain. I started to think maybe I had meningitis. I didn't think this likely because I could touch my chin to my chest and I didn't have any other symptoms at the time (most common of which for meningitis would be fever). After a few hours the pain got so intense that I had to leave work early. I made the ~45 minute or so drive home and got into bed.
Spoiler Alert: The event that took place inside my noggin/neck turned out to be something called a vertebral artery dissection. It would be many days before I would find out that's what it was but there's no reason to keep you waiting, right? We'll get back to this.
The Aftermath: Home
So I got home and crawled into bed and slept for a couple hours. The neck pain had more or less subsided at this point, especially once I was in my actual bed. When I woke up I felt kind of... I don't know -- out of it. I felt feverish but I checked didn't have a fever. I went to pee and felt a certain lack of coordination but chalked it up to having just woke up from a nap. I crawled back in bed.
I sleep for a couple more hours and I wake up again. My neck doesn't hurt at all now but I still feel woozy and not quite right, I'm also very hungry. I went downstairs and poured myself a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. I chewed them up real good like, turned them into a nice saliva and cheerio goo, see? I swallowed and you won't believe what happened next!
They got stuck in my throat. They made it passed by tongue but not quite down my esophagus. They stuck in the bottom of my throat. I panicked and tried swallowing again to no avail. I went over to the sink and coughed. My cough was weak, weaker than it normally would/should be but chewed up cheerio paste came flying out nevertheless. At this point I'm pretty well freaked out but have no idea what could actually be happening to me. I tried taking another bite and the same thing happened. I tried drinking water and began coughing uncontrollably. At this point it became clear to me that I could not swallow food without it getting stuck, and i could not drink liquids without aspirating. That should be the main take-away from this section of the story.
Emergency Room: Part 1 - The Bush League | Possible Lawsuit Area?
I'm not someone who rushes to seek medical attention or the emergency room at any little thing. I posted once about one of the most painful experiences I've ever had and even this did not prompt a visit to the Emergency Room. This though, this whole thing that was happening right now I could tell was different. I needed to go to an Emergency Room and get checked out because my shit was clearly fucked up in some sort of serious way. So I did what any uninsured mid-20's person freaked out over a health condition would do: I drove to an urgent care because it would be considerably less expensive.
Once I arrived at my local Urgent Care I told them my symptoms (the neck pain, inability to swallow). After listening, the Urgent Care people said that I needed to go to an actual emergency room and refused to see me. It was clear they probably already had an idea as to what happened and knew they weren't equipped to run the sorts of tests needed to confirm what had happened.
The closest ER was located in a city that many area natives refer to as *place-name*-tucky. Kind of like Kentucky. This practice might not be nice, but it's not wrong. It's kind of a shit town and the hospital was also shit as I would soon find out. I say all this now but I didn't know it at the time. Plus, it was only about a 5 minute drive.
I arrive at the hospital and go to the emergency room area. I tell the receptionist what's happening and I get a bed within 10 minutes. Not a long wait, lucky me they weren't very busy. I see a doctor within about a half hour or so and explain EVERYTHING. All my symptoms up to this point. I'm not one to leave out details. I stressed the pain in my neck and how I thought it might be related to my swallow and I mentioned the overall wooziness I was experiencing. Their first course of action: put me on an IV steroid to see if that improves my ability to swallow. (It didn't.) After a certain amount of time I can't remember I become physically ill and throw up. I'm really not feeling so great.
Some time goes by and the doctor returns to ask me about the pneumonia I had earlier in the year (February). He mentions that I had X-Rays done which I confirm. He wants to give me more chest X-Rays in addition to a Barium Swallow Test. At this point, I'm pretty sure whatever is going on is related to my head/neck ache. I mentioned this to the doctor but felt he was thoroughly dismissive of this line of thinking. Quite frankly, I thought he was dismissive overall and not particularly interested in my case. For what focus he had, it was strictly on the GI aspect of my condition.
My chest X-Ray is normal and I "pass" the barium swallow test with some difficulty (having to swallow several times to get the shit down my throat). I should note at this point that the barium is extremely heavy and one sip will force its way down your throat through sheer force of gravity. If someone would just watch me try to eat or drink they would see -- it's not happening. I can't fake something physically not going down my throat.
I get sick again and it looks like there might be some blood in my vomit which is near my bed in a pink bucket/tray. The doctor comes in and observes this detail in passing before suggesting that I be admitted so that I can be seen by a gastroenterologist. I think "well that makes sense but it still doesn't really address the concerns I have about the neck pain and how it might be connected along with everything else." I express that to the doctor and he brushes it off. It's the day before Thanksgiving and this is a bush-league hospital so he tells me a GI probably won't be in for a couple of days. I decline being admitted to the hospital because something just doesn't feel right, plus, why pay for staying in the hospital for a couple of days when the doctor you're there to see won't be in. All the while, what's happening to me is NOT treated as an emergency. The doctor nods and walks away.
I need to use the bathroom at one point while at the ER. When I go to wash my hands I notice something rather odd. My left hand can feel the hot water but my right hand cannot. What I feel in my right hand can only be described as strange electrical-type sensations. RED FUCKING FLAG. I'll elaborate on this symptom later because it's fucking bananas. I don't know if I had this symptom prior to rolling in to the ER or whether it's onset took place while I was there. The more I think about it, the more likely it seems to have been a thing that happened while I was being treated in the ER. In other words, I had a minor stroke while in their care and they did not notice.
I told the doctor exactly what I felt but I told him I wasn't sure when the onset of this symptom began. He did NOT seem interested and this information did not change the course of action he was taking. In retrospect, this is FUCKED. At this point the neck pain, inability to swallow, and left/right sensory differential are telltale signs of brain damage. Here is where I feel an enormous amount of resentment towards the ER, the doctor, and the bill I would receive from them.
I was discharged with instructions to return to the ER if I could not eat or drink. Based on these instructions I should have walked right back in as soon as I got to the parking lot because I STILL couldn't swallow anything. I was given IV antibiotics before leaving in addition to a prescription for amoxicillin. I did NOT have an infection that would warrant such treatment and was given no real explanation it. My release notes don't mention anything related to the left side/right side sensory differential or the severe neck pain. They only mention the dysphagia and nothing else. The doctor wouldn't even give me a note that got me off the hook for work the next day.
I drove home.
Home Again: The scene where Peter Parker discovers his powers.
I got home. I tried to drink a McDonald's Milk Shake but could not get it down my throat. I just kept coughing up anything I tried to swallow except for thin liquids that would make a B-line straight for my lungs. I spent some time becoming familiar with my new symptoms: nauseousness and the fact that my ability to sense certain things is cut in half in a straight line down the center of my body. I take an ice cube and roll it from my left shoulder, across my chest, to my right shoulder. In the middle of my rib cage I cease to feel the "cold" once it passes over to the right side of my body. I can feel things on my right side, but the feelings just aren't right. I can sense soft touches just fine but pain (like being poked by a toothpick) feels like a finger poking me - not a sharp toothpick. When I pick up a can of soda straight out of the fridge it feels like it's room temperature, like I just took it out of the box at the supermarket. In my left hand I can feel that it's ice cold.
I think "This is fucked" and get in my car. I drive to what's supposed to be the best hospital in the state.
Emergency Room 2: Electromagnetic Imaging Machine Boogaloo
I drive an hour or so to the state's top hospital. Best in GI, best in Neurology. I think these people will probably know what's up. By the way, it's Thanksgiving now. I arrive sometime around 5 or 6 AM. And when I arrive, literally feet from my car... I vomit violently. VIOLENTLY. Someone inside sees me and ushers me inside. I go through the initial process of describing my symptoms again. I get a bed right away and speak to an ER doctor, she takes notes and before long.... a neurologist comes to visit. Unlike Podunk shit tier ER Part 1 that doesn't staff a GI on the day BEFORE Thanksgiving, this place has a neurologist the DAY OF Thanksgiving. He has me do what turns out to be some fairly standard, simple brain damage tests.
"Squeeze my fingers as hard as you can. Good. Lift your left leg. Good. Lift your right leg. Good. Lift both arms. Good. Pull me towards you, push me away from you. Good. Follow my finger with your eyes. How many fingers am I holding up? Touch your nose and touch my finger. Good. All good. One last thing..." he pulls out a small finger full of spark wooden sticks (toothpicks?) He pokes me with all over my body. On the left side they feel spark and I can feel each individual stick, on he right side it doesn't feel sharp and it doesn't feel like several individual small objects/sticks. He takes note of this and orders that I get a CT scan right away.
Fast forward about 20 minutes. This place is really not busy... I get right in to have my CT scan. The procedure doesn't bother me but I'm worried about what they might find. The CT scan wraps up and I get back to my bed in the ER. A little while later the doctor returns to tell me that I have a paralyzed vocal cord. Something done fucked up inside my noodle and he admits me to the hospital. Things seem to be on the right track. Next stop? MRI.
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I'm going to finish this later because I'm tired of typing for now and despite trying to make it fun and easy to follow, it makes me pretty emotional talking/thinking about it. There's still quite a lot more bullshit that takes place between the CT scan and me getting the diagnosis that I had a stroke. I get two MRIs, an MRA, a spinal tap, and several other tests. It takes about a week. In the span of that week I do not eat ANY food of ANY kind despite trying desperately. Turns out Hospital 2 has a bit of a listening problem as well.
Rest assured, the story will conclude shortly if you're interested. For now, in conclusion: I had a stroke, I'm in my 20's, I was in the hospital for close to a month and I just got released the other day. I don't have insurance. All of this can happen to you and in some cases (like my case) there's nothing you can do about it. Except sign up for health insurance. BTW, sign up for health insurance.
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One last thing. You can find my gofundme by googling "Just kidding!"
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STORY CONTINUED
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And now, part two of
Emergency Room 2: Electromagnetic Imaging Machine Boogaloo Continued...
So, a paralyzed vocal cord is what came back from the CT scan. That's certainly a sign that something bad happened inside my noodle, but what? I hadn't even really noticed, but according to people I'd been in contact with during the first couple days of this event my voice was really fucked up and horse sounding. I kind of just thought I was tired and thus, had some vocal fry going on. The point is I didn't even notice this as a symptom (and neither did ER #1). But to drive the point home... my voice did not sound normal. Which would make sense having had a paralyzed vocal cord I guess, huh? Oh yeah, and to give you bearings on the timeline this is about 28 hours after the very first onset of symptoms (neck pain). Thanksgiving Day.
I said in my first post that the next step after the CT scan was the MRI but now that I've had a bit of time I remember that's not exactly how it went. Following the CT scan I was admitted as a patient into the hospital. I met the doctor who would be my primary care physician for the duration of my stay at the hospital (excepting a short few day stint which I may go into detail about). For the purposes of this post I'm going to name all of my doctors after animals so that it's easier to follow along with the cast of characters. So... let me give her profile and stats real quick.
Dr. Peggy Penguin was nice but as it turns out she was kind of a shit doctor. Her bedside manner was good insofar as she seemed sympathetic and I felt as though she cared. She was also readily available if and when I had any significant questions of requests for medications. That being said, her actions and inaction put my life at risk at worst and destroyed my quality of life while in hospital at best. But hey, at least she was nice? By the way, I'm not giving SPECIAL to any other doctor. They're all zero except for the neurologist(s) who probably saved my life (literally or in terms of things I would have lost if I had more strokes).
While in my room but before my first MRI we discussed the possibilities of what was wrong and more or less things that I don't remember and therefore aren't worth mentioning.
I go for my first MRI.
They move me down to that section of the hospital asking me a TON of questions about whether or not I have any metal inside me. Thank God I didn't get that copper IUD, huh? I answer all of their questions and I recall a small portion of the conversation I had with Dr. Penguin mentioning that MRI's are extremely expensive. "Fuck my life" I think as I lay in the MRI section of the hospital for about half an hour. After that, it's go time.
The MRI people tell me they have Pandora and so I can listen to whatever I want while I'm in the machine. We all know they're lying but I tell them Simon and Garfunkel because I want something relaxing while I'm in the machine. I'd never had an MRI before but I heard that people with claustrophobia have a really hard time with them. Thankfully, I don't suffer from anything of the sort. I have nothing to fear from the MRI machine except for the fact that I have to sit very still for, what would feel like to me, a very long time.
As I said, MRI tests require you to sit very still. There's two details that come into play now that I think you should know. First, I've been kind of sick (cold, mild flu-like symptoms) for a few weeks leading up to this point including right now. Second, I can't swallow, remember? During all of this time I've had an increase in saliva and mucus that I haven't been able to swallow, so I've been spitting it into a McDonald's cup through a straw that I've had with me since I checked into the ER. Yes, this is very gross. Also, the prospect of having to sit still for forty-five minutes to an hour without being able to move and therefore not being able to spit out the pool of mucus and saliva that would accumulate inside my mouth was making me very nervous.
After several false starts ("Wait, wait. Let me spit one more time.") I went in. I don't know how I did it, but I did. Spoiler:
I'd have to do this 2 more times.
I get back onto my travel bed and go back out into the MRI waiting area and wait for someone to take me back up to my room which happens after a relatively short wait. These tests take some time to interpret but not too long, maybe a few hours. I can't remember a whole lot about what happened between the MRI and the results of the MRI. I should note that I don't know who's reading my MRI results. I think there's someone who's job it is to specifically look at these scans and interpret them. Just a reminder, it's Thanksgiving. Later on I'll think that maybe the A-Squad had the day off and it was the B-Squad in charge of interpreting the results of MY MRI.
"Unremarkable."
That's what my nurse tells me based on what she saw in my chart that updates on her computer as changes are made. It was nice of her to give me a little teaser before Dr. Penguin can come in later on to explain more or less the same thing. The MRI does not show anything outside of the ordinary. No lesions, no nothing. According to the MRI I have a normal, healthy brain. But something is fucked up about my vocal cord, so what's the deal?
She thinks it might be viral. Evidently, sometimes the flu can fuck your brain up. So can viral meningitis. An infection of some sort is the path we're on for now and it's the path we'll be on for several days. Doctor Penguin says she had another girl in not that long ago with dysphagia and similar-ish symptoms. Her dysphagia was treated successfully with IV steroids. So she puts me on IV steroids and says they'll have to confirm the infection. How does one do such a thing?
Spinal Tap
Also a swab of the deepest, darkest corner of my nasal cavity. The spinal tap will need to wait until tomorrow, the nasal swab takes place shortly after Dr. Penguin leaves. It's rather uncomfortable as it's like getting a pap smear inside your nose hole. In fact, this is a lot like the brush they use:
The results of the nasal swab come in fairly soon: I have parainfluenza. I already knew I was sick so this doesn't come as much of a shock.
Oh yeah, she also ordered more swallow tests. More barium for me.
More like Bari-yum!
Stay Tuned for Part Three. I thought I could write this in a single sitting. Then I thought I could write it in two. Here's hoping third time's the charm. Fuck my life in the meantime and I'll be around to answer questions periodically. Sorry for having to spread this out, it's just taking longer than expected.
