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[bjork]

The story as he told it: he was in Lowe's and went to the restroom for a leak, and some dude was in a stall with his foot up, holding the stall door open. He was holding a phone up, like he was watching something (I would imagine porn) and his hand was in his sweatpants, furiously going at his cock.

Apparently my dad kicked the guy's foot away and started yelling at him, and the restroom is close enough to the employee lounge that they heard the commotion and came to see. The guy bumped chests with my dad, who gave the guy a two-handed push and the guy fell on the floor, but the employees got in the middle of it and kept the guy there until police arrived. My dad made a statement to the police and then I guess that was the end of it. He said a lady customer came up and quietly thanked him, and she had a young kid with her. So maybe the kid saw this guy tugging it?

I mean, I get having the urge to rub one out, but while at Lowe's? Home repair isn't all that exciting.

Anyway, he busted this guy, and years ago I busted the guy in my anime shop, so I've decided we're like the Van Helsings to public masturbators.

 

[Makai]

narc

 

[Escape Goat]

Dont you sell the anime porns?

 

[Beartruck]

...well, did he cum or what?

Spoiler

couldnt resist mallrats reference.

 

[Shao Kahn Brewing a Stew]

Jerking off in a store? That's a new Lowe.

Spoiler

Love Where You Live.

 

[platocplx]

I guess you can say this guy has a real hard on for power tools.

 

[FortuneFaded]

Never stop masturbating

 

[Ric Flair]

Good on him for bringing justice. I get the need to rub one out, but don't hold the damn stall door open for the world to see it

 

[Booser]

we're like the Van Helsings to public masturbators.

This isn't gonna be what the reboot revolves around is it?

 

[Sunset Samurai]

Your dad literally caught him with his pants down

 

[darscot]

narc

LOL, no way I'm getting in a physical confrontation with a dude that is rubbing one out. I say dude what the fuck, close the fucking door do that shit in private and carry on about my business.

 

[EvilEvoVIII]

Whoah whoah whoah, back it up....beep beep beep...

So the guy was in a stall (perfectly fine), watching porn (perfectly fine), holding the stall door open with his foot (not perfectly fine)???

Why didn't he shut the door. Did he also have volume on or did he have the decency to wear headphones at least?

 

[BossLackey]

What a weird thing to do.

 

[Grizzlyjin]

What a tool. Good on your dad. Doesn't matter how awkward it might be, you gotta do the right thing.

 

[off duty ninja]

Why would the guy be holding the door OPEN?? I mean if you have to jack it it would at least make more sense to CLOSE the door instead. SMH

 

[spindashing]

Anyway, he busted this guy, and years ago I busted the guy in my anime shop.

There's a masturbation joke somewhere here.

 

[vern]

They chest bumped? Did the dude still have a boner?

 

[whitemex88]

He's like some masturbating vigilante.. get him a cake

 

[Walter White Walker]

That lawn mower isn't going to jerk start itself.

 

[Phobophile]

That's not the hardwood aisle.

 

[BamfMeat]

Why didn't the dude just close the damn stall door and do it in private? I mean, if the stall door is closed, even if he's on a one-way trip to yogurt-town, no ones gonna say shit. But you leave the door open AND have your foot up? WTF man.

Get some class!

 

[Dishwalla]

Why was he holding the stall door open with his foot instead of closed? Weird.

 

[Gordon Shumway]

What an odd connection to have..

 

[Sanjuro]

At the video store guys would just come in and bust their load all over the rental display boxes.

 

[kirblar]

Why would the guy be holding the door OPEN?? I mean if you have to jack it it would at least make more sense to CLOSE the door instead. SMH

Because he's cruising for dudes. HD/Lowes/etc are apparently a spot for that.

 

[Mixolydian]

Lowes? Gotta try out the hardware first.

Still, doing the chub rub while holding it open.. money on this being some sort of repeat offense.

 

[hendersonhank]

Why is your dad starting fights with guys over jerking off somewhere he doesn't even work?

 

[PassiveObserver]

He should've done it in the privacy of his own home

Spoiler

Depot.

 

[PopeReal]

So wrong. Lowe's is like a portal to hell. It is just stacks of never ending projects.

 

[HStallion]

Was he hung?

 

[dskillzhtown]

Why was he holding the stall door open with his foot instead of closed? Weird.

Probably had some fantasy some one would join in or some crap. People get porn addicted and think that shit is a documentary or something.

 

[Tripolygon]

Why was he holding the stall door open with his foot instead of closed? Weird.

Some people get a rush from getting caught.

 

[bill0527]

If you can't put your handyman skills to good use at Lowe's, just where and the hell are you supposed to do it?

 

[BamfMeat]

Because he's cruising for dudes. HD/Lowes/etc are apparently a spot for that.

????

You kids these days with your "cruising" and your "Homo Depots". Back in my day we just went into the woods and hoped people would come by for a handy. We didn't have these fancy jerk-off stores.

 

[Lulubop]

I saw a guy jacking off in a pay phone booth the other day, at like 7am.

 

[Icefire1424]

Dude was just getting familiar with the caulk.

 

[Alavard]

I mean, I get having the urge to rub one out, but while at Lowe's? Home repair isn't all that exciting.

I mean, he could be really into caulk.

 

[mclem]

Whoah whoah whoah, back it up....beep beep beep...

So the guy was in a stall (perfectly fine), watching porn (perfectly fine), holding the stall door open with his foot (not perfectly fine)???

Why didn't he shut the door. Did he also have volume on or did he have the decency to wear headphones at least?

You're at a home improvement store, you could easily run out and get some green paint and a thin brush...

 

[MrHoot]

Was he hung?

Should've asked him if he fancied seeing some more dicks

 

[Sanjuro]

Because he's cruising for dudes. HD/Lowes/etc are apparently a spot for that.

Yeah they are. 24/7 Walmart as well.

Come get some.

 

[Easy_D]

Wait you and your dad busted the very same guy, years apart? Is your family cursed to deal with weird shit?

 

[Sou Da]

Because he's cruising for dudes. HD/Lowes/etc are apparently a spot for that.

No fucking way.

This sounds like shit you hear on a bad cbs show and laugh at how fake it is.

 

[NeonBlack]

I saw a guy jacking off in a pay phone booth the other day, at like 7am.

Phone sex is hard without a cell.

 

[BFIB]

 

[NandoGip]

Whenever I hear about public masturbators I just think about the long path they took that got them to that point

 

[PopeReal]

Wait, your dad just happened to be at that exact Lowe's. At that exact time. And entered the bathroom at that exact moment.

Interesting.

 

[HStallion]

You won't see this happening at Dick's Sporting Goods or BJ's.

 

[Timeaisis]

Wait...he was holding the door open?

and years ago I busted the guy in my anime shop

This sounds like a good story.

 

[johancruijff]

couple of years ago i saw a guy fucking the handle of his bike in the middle of the street

 

[kirblar]

????

You kids these days with your "cruising" and your "Homo Depots". Back in my day we just went into the woods and hoped people would come by for a handy. We didn't have these fancy jerk-off stores.

It ain't young people there. They have Grindr.

No fucking way.

This sounds like shit you hear on a bad cbs show and laugh at how fake it is.

Way. (NSFW search results- https://www.google.com/search?q=craigslist+m4m+home+depot&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8 )

Thankfully, the HDs I worked at never seemed to have this problem.