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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond

J

Jhoan

Member
FZZ said:
Hi GAF I made a tinder account for the first time

I have two questions

first is when is the best time to use the app I guess, have a friend telling me he uses it at night and finds more matches then?

secondly, from what I hear girls mainly just look at pictures of you right, or are there other things I should do to pimp out my profile?

I only have 3 pics and my bio is fairly dry so I'd rather that not inhibit anything.

so far only matches I've gotten has been a bot (or at least I'm pretty sure they're a bot since they messaged me first with "hiya baby") and one girl who I matched with but now isn't showing up on the chat screen

also I'm out of likes now lmao
Click to expand...
First question: There's no right time of day. You can do it whenever you want. Although on OKC, the website has a rush hour where you're more likely to get more views than other hours.

Second question: Yes, pictures come first, profile second in practically every dating app under the sun so you can have a barebones profile as long as you have solid pictures. On websites like OKC and POF, it helps but isn't necessary to have a well written profile to get unsolicited messages e.g. on my profile, I've made references to looking like a Hispanic Bob Ross and have gotten messages on my hair.


Kanik said:
The First Date Was a Success. The Second Date Ended in Murder.
Click to expand...
That's tragic but then again, Florida strikes again. His poor daughter is going to be heartbroken. :(
 
B

brawly

Member
Just joined OKC and spent the first 1.5 hours chatting with a girl into BDSM, but of course she led me to a site and told me to pay so we could be together forever. I told her to proof she's real and obviously it stopped there.

I got really into it (I'm a bit drunk, it's 5am now) and would've probably been down for it. Oh well.

edit she (or he) did send me photos, but I requested ones taken now with a paper with my name on it. They weren't. I was closer to paying than I'd like to admit.
 
J

JDHarbs

Member
I think I'm cursed. Today she showed up in the background of another girl's pics on POF. Must be a friend but this is getting ridiculous.
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
brawly said:
Just joined OKC and spent the first 1.5 hours chatting with a girl into BDSM, but of course she led me to a site and told me to pay so we could be together forever. I told her to proof she's real and obviously it stopped there.

I got really into it (I'm a bit drunk, it's 5am now) and would've probably been down for it. Oh well.

edit she (or he) did send me photos, but I requested ones taken now with a paper with my name on it. They weren't. I was closer to paying than I'd like to admit.
Click to expand...

Please reread your post when you're sober. That's all.

brawly said:
Just once it would be nice for a girl to write first. Just once...

Anyway, do women actually really look for a special introduction? I find it fucked up that the man is supposed to write first and come up with a clever ice breaker. You'd think we're both working towards the same goal.

I really need to hit that super like more, I'm having quite the success atm.

@Jpop definitely want to hear how this goes.
Click to expand...

No, women don't look for a special introduction or anything especially clever. Do you want to know the secret to this? Be normal, appear intelligent, and be reasonably attractive. There's a reason that certain guys on this thread do incredibly well: they're neither creepy nor needy, and they're comfortable saying, "Hey, let's grab drinks." In my overlong history of online dating, I have never -- not once -- not converted a conversation into a date. And I'm literally doing nothing special.

brawly said:
I don't know if I want a date or not because right now I don't know that much about her. Only one pic, we exchanged like 5 messages each. Is getting to know eachother considered small talk?

edit: actually it's more like 10 each but it still feels super early. I'm not stalling I'll happily ask her.
Click to expand...

Just highlighting what NeoGAF's ZackieChan said: you get to know someone on a date. There's also a reason why I caution folks against extravagance (or buying gifts, good lord). You meet for a drink or two. If it works out, you can do something else. It's not that hard, and half the reason people are having problems is that they don't understand that there are dating rituals that experienced people know and they suffer friction.

For instance, you go out for a drink or two. The girl says she has to work early tomorrow, so she bows out around 8pm. There's a 98% chance that it's not true! But you act like it is anyway.
 
S

Shanlei91

Sonic handles my blue balls
Jhoan said:
That's tragic but then again, Florida strikes again. His poor daughter is going to be heartbroken. :(
Click to expand...

Yeah, it's crazy for a girl to lose her father over such ridiculous antics.

JDHarbs said:
I think I'm cursed. Today she showed up in the background of another girl's pics on POF. Must be a friend but this is getting ridiculous.
Click to expand...

If seeing that and being reminded of her was truly painful then maybe you should take a week or two off from the online dating. It seems like you're treating this as if you guys had dated for years so maybe the best way to go about it is to allow some time to reset and forget. If it's not painful and more like an annoyance seeing her, and not inducing gut wrenching pain, then the best course of action would be to go on another date to remind yourself that there are other women and potentially far better matches for what you want.
 
J

JDHarbs

Member
Kanik said:
Yeah, it's crazy for a girl to lose her father over such ridiculous antics.

If seeing that and being reminded of her was truly painful then maybe you should take a week or two off from the online dating. It seems like you're treating this as if you guys had dated for years so maybe the best way to go about it is to allow some time to reset and forget. If it's not painful and more like an annoyance seeing her, and not inducing gut wrenching pain, then the best course of action would be to go on another date to remind yourself that there are other women and potentially far better matches for what you want.
Click to expand...
Yeah, it's not gut wrenching. Just annoying that I've been trying to put it out of my mind and move on, but coincidences have blocked that. I figured seeing other girls would help, but I just can't seem to get any matches right now.
 
F

FZZ

Banned
Jokab said:
Doesn't matter at all. I'd say writing to girls past 11pm is a bad sign for most, unless it's a late weekend and you're looking for a quickie.


Yeah very few people look at your description honestly. Just put a funny joke on there or something, don't write a long story about yourself on Tinder. That's not what works.


3 pics is fine, it does the job. It's what the pics are of that matters. For 3 pics, I'd say 1) pic of you 2) pic of you doing something cool/activity, etc 3) pic with friends but where it's still easy to pick you out
Click to expand...

Jhoan said:
First question: There's no right time of day. You can do it whenever you want. Although on OKC, the website has a rush hour where you're more likely to get more views than other hours.

Second question: Yes, pictures come first, profile second in practically every dating app under the sun so you can have a barebones profile as long as you have solid pictures. On websites like OKC and POF, it helps but isn't necessary to have a well written profile to get unsolicited messages e.g. on my profile, I've made references to looking like a Hispanic Bob Ross and have gotten messages on my hair.
Click to expand...

Thank you guys for the responses, really appreciate it
 
B

brawly

Member
Advocatus Diaboli said:
Please reread your post when you're sober. That's all.


No, women don't look for a special introduction or anything especially clever. Do you want to know the secret to this? Be normal, appear intelligent, and be reasonably attractive. There's a reason that certain guys on this thread do incredibly well: they're neither creepy nor needy, and they're comfortable saying, "Hey, let's grab drinks." In my overlong history of online dating, I have never -- not once -- not converted a conversation into a date. And I'm literally doing nothing special.


Just highlighting what NeoGAF's ZackieChan said: you get to know someone on a date. There's also a reason why I caution folks against extravagance (or buying gifts, good lord). You meet for a drink or two. If it works out, you can do something else. It's not that hard, and half the reason people are having problems is that they don't understand that there are dating rituals that experienced people know and they suffer friction.

For instance, you go out for a drink or two. The girl says she has to work early tomorrow, so she bows out around 8pm. There's a 98% chance that it's not true! But you act like it is anyway.
Click to expand...

Thanks, I appreciate it! I do need to get to the point quicker.
 
davepoobond

davepoobond

you can't put a price on sparks
lol had a girl delete her account on me within 4 hours of replying to a message of mine.

i think thats the second one i've had like that.
 
S

Shanlei91

Sonic handles my blue balls
JDHarbs said:
Tinder runs like shit on my android. Got matched with someone 50 miles away (search area was set to 20).
Click to expand...

If your phone is old you could try using Bluestacks emulator or the Chrome plugin, Flamite. (I would not advise to use the auto-swipe on the latter)
 
B

brawly

Member
After a weekend of blueballs things are looking up for your boy. Remember that girl who only wrote me at 7am? Well she wrote me again today after 5 days...at 8am. She didn't explain the absence but she did tell me she was super busy (obviously) but I still don't quite get it. 5 days? Whatever. I'll ask her out for friday or at least for her number, unless she disappears again.

There's also this girl at work which I think is cute and seems nice, though very shy. We've been getting a bit closer and she seems a bit more comfortable around me. I should point out that I work with 95% women but it's not exactly a harem. Lots don't even say hi, like I'm a fucking alien or something. Some are stuck up, some are are shy. Luckily I took the initiative with her and it seems to have paid off. I don't see her that often though because she works in a different department.

JDHarbs said:
Tinder runs like shit on my android. Got matched with someone 50 miles away (search area was set to 20).
Click to expand...

I get people from all over the world. It's awful.
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
brawly said:
After a weekend of blueballs things are looking up for your boy. Remember that girl who only wrote me at 7am? Well she wrote me again today after 5 days...at 8am. She didn't explain the absence but she did tell me she was super busy (obviously) but I still don't quite get it. 5 days? Whatever. I'll ask her out for friday or at least for her number, unless she disappears again.

There's also this girl at work which I think is cute and seems nice, though very shy. We've been getting a bit closer and she seems a bit more comfortable around me. I should point out that I work with 95% women but it's not exactly a harem. Lots don't even say hi, like I'm a fucking alien or something. Some are stuck up, some are are shy. Luckily I took the initiative with her and it seems to have paid off. I don't see her that often though because she works in a different department.



I get people from all over the world. It's awful.
Click to expand...

"Whatever" is right. She probably has other things going on in here life. The goal is to have the same - not responding right away is paradoxically an attractive trait.

Be careful about the girl at work. Could be dangerous.

Your post gives off the vibe of "the world is against me" or something. Maybe not quite to that extent, but it is very negative. Try to enjoy yourself in work, dating, and everything. That vibe rubs off on people and they're more apt to talk to you in a positive way.

Also, maybe upgrade that phone. That's an odd thing to be happening with Tinder.
 
B

brawly

Member
ZackieChan said:
"Whatever" is right. She probably has other things going on in here life. The goal is to have the same - not responding right away is paradoxically an attractive trait.

Be careful about the girl at work. Could be dangerous.

Your post gives off the vibe of "the world is against me" or something. Maybe not quite to that extent, but it is very negative. Try to enjoy yourself in work, dating, and everything. That vibe rubs off on people and they're more apt to talk to you in a positive way.

Also, maybe upgrade that phone. That's an odd thing to be happening with Tinder.
Click to expand...

I did ask her what is causing her stress, since apparently she only works 70%. Maybe I'll know more tomorrow.

With the girl from work I'll go ultra slow. I'll only try to get to know her, for now. I only work there part time and until february, but I won't pursue that much further. Not worth it, especially if I overstep.

You're right, I'm not exactly a beam of positivity, but it has more to do with low self esteem, I think. It just irritates the shit out of me when people don't say "hi" or "good morning" back to you. But I'm not really at work to date and extremely happy about any matches on dating apps.

I have a Samsung S5 mini btw. Should be good enough, right? Same thing happens on my tablet btw.
 
J

Jhoan

Member
Tonight's second date has been canned. The girl told me that she still feels sick and will need a few more days to recover. On the one hand, I'm relived since it saves me so much stress and some money but on the other hand, I was looking forward to it. Either way, I'm not mad as it'll give me some extra time to fix my appearance. I'm waiting on her to reply for alternate date.

Given that I have a busy week ahead including, messages have seemingly dried up for me. A few girls that I had messaged on Tinder, OKC, and fell off with me so I'm not anticipating going on any new dates this week until after Labor Day and I'm okay with that. I'm pretty happy that I got a good amount of stuff going on next month.
 
S

Solid SOAP

Member
My online dating game has been strong af for some reason, recently. Had a date last Saturday and have another lined up for tomorrow with two different girls. The former is found via OkCupid, the latter on Tinder. The first girl was definitely fun to hang with, but already through text I can tell I have great chemistry with this other girl.

Well see where it goes!
 
P

Professor Chaos

Member
Hey Guys. Regarding Tinder specifically, do you normally ask what the other person's intentions are while chatting to them? For example, I am not looking for hookups or anything too casual. I basically want to determine that we are on the same page before I meet them if that makes sense.
 
T

True Savior

Member
Professor Chaos said:
Hey Guys. Regarding Tinder specifically, do you normally ask what the other person's intentions are while chatting to them? For example, I am not looking for hookups or anything too casual. I basically want to determine that we are on the same page before I meet them if that makes sense.
Click to expand...

I think the conversation and the date set that. I find the question broken and it's usually used (me included) when I just want to hookup. If not, i rather have something a bit more organic than straight up asking what the hell are you looking for.

I find Tinder fairly simple. If you want to have some fun (not sex, but meeting people), just have some nice, relaxed even silly conversation (no need for programed questions nor getting to know the life-story of the other person). Set a date and voila. From there you will get the vibe from the other person. If you just want to get laid, there's two options (if you're not mega hot): Be direct and confident as fuck (and alienate quite a bit of people in the process) or just meet a lot of women. Both will eventually lead to easy sex.
 
Jawmuncher

Jawmuncher

Member
I still havent managed one date. Though that's probably in part due to being out in the country. I do think my account needs a makeover though. Kind of a pain in the ass to take new pictures by yourself though.
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
Jawmuncher said:
I still havent managed one date. Though that's probably in part due to being out in the country. I do think my account needs a makeover though. Kind of a pain in the ass to take new pictures by yourself though.
Click to expand...

You should find some friends to do things with and get interesting photos.
 
G

GK86

Homeland Security Fail
Professor Chaos said:
Hey Guys. Regarding Tinder specifically, do you normally ask what the other person's intentions are while chatting to them? For example, I am not looking for hookups or anything too casual. I basically want to determine that we are on the same page before I meet them if that makes sense.
Click to expand...

I think it's a fair question to ask. Especially because dating can become exhausting, a time commitment, and pricey. People on tinder are there for an number of reasons. Sometimes they state why on their profiles, but often times they don't.

I would ask them after you had a good conversation flowing.
 
S

SRG01

Member
Something really strange happened to my Tinder recently. I suddenly received a lot more people in my deck to the point where I'm actually running out of swipes.

Also, the number of swipes I'm getting per 12 hours seems to be dramatically less than before.
 
J

Jhoan

Member
Professor Chaos said:
Hey Guys. Regarding Tinder specifically, do you normally ask what the other person's intentions are while chatting to them? For example, I am not looking for hookups or anything too casual. I basically want to determine that we are on the same page before I meet them if that makes sense.
Click to expand...
Honestly, I have a hard time reading girls with their intentions sometimes because it makes it frustrating to go on dates where there's no chemistry and I've been on many first dates this year. Particularly moreso on Tinder than the other dating apps.

I think it would save so much time and energy to ask what they're looking for before meeting up. It sounds like you're looking to see where things go organically which is more or less what I'm looking for. So yeah, it doesn't hurt to ask what they're looking for a few messages in as GK86 mentioned.
Jawmuncher said:
My friends are so spread out, but I'll keep that in mind for next time we get together.
Click to expand...
If you live in a decent sized town/city, try GAF. Seriously. I've met some pretty great people from here that I hang out with outside of GAF meetups every now and then.

I wanted to share this doozy of a gem description I encountered on a Tinder profile:

I'm like a Gillette razor; the best a man could get...Plus I'll get dangerous. If you're not a fellow Jew swipe left. Ain't nobody got time for an circumcision.
Click to expand...

I swiped left to her.

Also I find it funny that girls love to make themselves appear to be exotic by listing their ethnic background such as Hawaiian Irish/Portugese in one profile I encountered; Puerto Rican/White in another; heck even my countrywomen sure love to point out that they're Dominican. I usually swipe left to those girls.

Oh and I've been finding that Super Likes don't work for me. I've tried it at least 3 times and in all the instances. I never got reciprocated.
 
A

Atrophis

Member
Jhoan said:
The deed has been done; she confirmed. Never gone out with a girl who's into kinky stuff so it sounds like probably going to learn a lot. Will keep an open mind. I'm a bit scared admittedly but in the words of Ice T: Fuck it (pun not intended again).
Click to expand...

Hah, good luck buddy. I've got an fwb who I met a few weeks ago on OKC coming to stay this weekend. She is also heavily into kink which is not unknown to me but not at this level.

Going to meet a friend I met on Tinder after work tonight. Will hopefully have a date with another lady next week. She unexpectedly asked me out on her second reply but I was already away at a music festival when she sent the message (she wanted to meet on the same day she sent it). Fun times.

In other news, me and my ex have taken to hanging out and chatting about our dating experiences. Holy shit, the messages she gets are unreal. She says its way worse then it was eight years ago when she met me on OKC.
 
P

Professor Chaos

Member
I have another online dating 101 question. I don't live near any major cities (UK) and some of my matches are mid distance away from me. Is it reasonable to suggest we meet some where half way between where we both live?
 
Arkos

Arkos

Nose how to spell and rede to
Tinder keeps immediately closing since it updated, how am I supposed to not get laid now???
 
B

bluethree

Member
Tinder's passport feature has been really spotty for me since the update. A lot of times when I try to change location it just doesn't work.
 
S

Salamando

Member
Arkos said:
Tinder keeps immediately closing since it updated, how am I supposed to not get laid now???
Click to expand...

rRAFi4C.png

That's all you need to not have sex
 
P

Professor Chaos

Member
One of the girls I've been talking to suggested we meet on a Friday evening. That potentially strikes me as a bad idea. What do you say GAF?

I should also mention that Thursday and Friday are the only weekdays I don't finish work late.
 
J

Jhoan

Member
Atrophis said:
Hah, good luck buddy. I've got an fwb who I met a few weeks ago on OKC coming to stay this weekend. She is also heavily into kink which is not unknown to me but not at this level.

Going to meet a friend I met on Tinder after work tonight. Will hopefully have a date with another lady next week. She unexpectedly asked me out on her second reply but I was already away at a music festival when she sent the message (she wanted to meet on the same day she sent it). Fun times.

In other news, me and my ex have taken to hanging out and chatting about our dating experiences. Holy shit, the messages she gets are unreal. She says its way worse then it was eight years ago when she met me on OKC.
Click to expand...
This never happened since as I posted in the Dating-Age thread a few days ago, she canned it from feeling sick and asked to reschedule. She's a major stoner girl with some issues so she smokes weed as a way to control them. As I said in that post, I think the weed paranoia is getting to her. I'm seeing her next Tuesday and if it turns into another tease fest, I'm going to move on. Just her getting stoned every day is a deal breaker for me. Getting another case of the blue balls is not worth the trouble.

Good luck with the dates! Kink is one hell of a subculture from the research that I did on it.
 
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