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Self-help productivity gurus are hilarious

Aesius

Member
He's still got nothing on Marky Mark's schedule.

_103392798_39a75c55-64ec-4f74-988b-6adc067ab562.jpg
 

kanjobazooie

Mouse Ball Fetishist
Apparently, the interviewer (the guy with the glasses) is an advisor to a company called Neurovalens that designed this bullshit:

meA9U9m.png
 
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MudoSkills

Volcano High Alumnus (Cum Laude)
The idea that someone on a podcast is worth listening to because they are on a podcast is hilarious. My GF kept getting all these MRA/lady MRA people (or whatever they call themselves) popping up in clips on Insta, and they are all literal nobodies.

I heard someone on the tube spouting off about how 'in every interaction I'm always looking to see how I can extract value from someone'. You clearly work in JD sports, everyone you speak to shops in JD sports, there is no value to extract.
 

EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Staff Member
I picture these people the same as cult leaders. The similarity is uncanny
That's basically what the self-help genre is. You read books and watch lectures from Highly Motivated People, and you feel great afterwards, amped up, ready to conquer the world. It tricks your brain into a sense of accomplishment. But it was extrinsic motivation and accomplishment by proxy. The motivation soon fades, so you have to go read another book and watch another lecture to get amped up again. You become the guru's disciple, thinking that it will put you on the same path to success. Yet they don't have any special skills or knowledge and their path to success was the very act of selling their bullshit to you. You have nothing to gain but dependence.
 

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
He's still got nothing on Marky Mark's schedule.

_103392798_39a75c55-64ec-4f74-988b-6adc067ab562.jpg
He must be the life of the party. This cant be real? Who goes to bed at 7:30 pm? And dinner was right before it? Got to be fake as every person bragging about being in shape says never eat a big meal before bed.

He must be a loner because he can do everything on that schedule from 6:30 am to 11:30 pm.
 
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Nobody_Important

“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
Oh God this reminds of that tik tok where this Instagram "influencer" shared her "special diet" and how it helped her lose so much weight. She went into detail about the different cheeses and meats she would eat with whole grain crackers. She would mix in some veggies.



So it was just a fucking charcuterie board lol
 
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JimmyRustler

Gold Member
I'll stick with Goggins and Jocko for the self-help productivity inspiration thanks.
I liked Goggins‘ first book a lot but after reading his 2nd one I think a lot of his advice is inapplicable because he literally trashes his own body for the strong mind. This works only if you have the money for sugery and other medical expenses…

When it comes to self help I‘d recommend everyone to ditch the new trash and just stick to the classics for Carnegy and the like.
 
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EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Staff Member
Mildly curious, so let's find out who this sunburnt god of coke and steroids, I mean productivity, is.

Gdc4un4.png


Wow, I too want to perform at #MAXOUT levels by combining spirituality with the inner workings of the mind, not to mention tactical thoughts. Teach me, sensei! Maybe someday I too can pay someone to post a Forbes Contributor article about me so that I can use their logo on my personal site.

This guy sounds like one of the most successful businessmen ever, though! Let's look at his qualifications.


bsWK6EU.png


One of the top business leaders in the world! Wait, a BA in Communications from a non-selective school, no companies built, no corporate leadership experience? 31 years at the "World Financial Group," though, as Agency Chairman. Weird to be at the same role for 31 years when it's not your company. "Agency Chairman" sounds important, though!

Wait, what kind of organization is the World Financial Group...?

Kza7Yjr.png



Oh, turns out it's a pyramid scheme where everyone gives themselves impressive sounding titles.
 
But are you a god anymore if you run into someone who says 1 second is a full day?
In the weeks that have passed since I wrote my first comment and in the several days it has taken me to compose this one - I have come to the conclusion that yes, I am. Perhaps a lesser god but still a god.

Again this is only in regards to my lifespan. By other metrics I am significantly less impressive than even most human men.
 

Nobody_Important

“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
Mildly curious, so let's find out who this sunburnt god of coke and steroids, I mean productivity, is.

Gdc4un4.png


Wow, I too want to perform at #MAXOUT levels by combining spirituality with the inner workings of the mind, not to mention tactical thoughts. Teach me, sensei! Maybe someday I too can pay someone to post a Forbes Contributor article about me so that I can use their logo on my personal site.

This guy sounds like one of the most successful businessmen ever, though! Let's look at his qualifications.


bsWK6EU.png


One of the top business leaders in the world! Wait, a BA in Communications from a non-selective school, no companies built, no corporate leadership experience? 31 years at the "World Financial Group," though, as Agency Chairman. Weird to be at the same role for 31 years when it's not your company. "Agency Chairman" sounds important, though!

Wait, what kind of organization is the World Financial Group...?

Kza7Yjr.png



Oh, turns out it's a pyramid scheme where everyone gives themselves impressive sounding titles.
I honestly can't imagine being so insecure with myself and my own ability to motivate myself that I would need to resort to a charlatan like this or that Tate jackass.


It's mind boggling.
 

MrMephistoX

Member
Mildly curious, so let's find out who this sunburnt god of coke and steroids, I mean productivity, is.

Gdc4un4.png


Wow, I too want to perform at #MAXOUT levels by combining spirituality with the inner workings of the mind, not to mention tactical thoughts. Teach me, sensei! Maybe someday I too can pay someone to post a Forbes Contributor article about me so that I can use their logo on my personal site.

This guy sounds like one of the most successful businessmen ever, though! Let's look at his qualifications.


bsWK6EU.png


One of the top business leaders in the world! Wait, a BA in Communications from a non-selective school, no companies built, no corporate leadership experience? 31 years at the "World Financial Group," though, as Agency Chairman. Weird to be at the same role for 31 years when it's not your company. "Agency Chairman" sounds important, though!

Wait, what kind of organization is the World Financial Group...?

Kza7Yjr.png



Oh, turns out it's a pyramid scheme where everyone gives themselves impressive sounding titles.
I feel like my calling in life is to find a few moderately attractive unemployed Hollywood actors, use this exact bio with a better headshot and manipulate him or her into making me money as a motivational speaker: write the content and PowerPoints for them or just outsource that shit to Fiverr... I just sit back and provide the training and materials and send these attractive people off to make money FOR me.

edit: also use ChatGPT to write the content.
 
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StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
Mildly curious, so let's find out who this sunburnt god of coke and steroids, I mean productivity, is.

Gdc4un4.png


Wow, I too want to perform at #MAXOUT levels by combining spirituality with the inner workings of the mind, not to mention tactical thoughts. Teach me, sensei! Maybe someday I too can pay someone to post a Forbes Contributor article about me so that I can use their logo on my personal site.

This guy sounds like one of the most successful businessmen ever, though! Let's look at his qualifications.


bsWK6EU.png


One of the top business leaders in the world! Wait, a BA in Communications from a non-selective school, no companies built, no corporate leadership experience? 31 years at the "World Financial Group," though, as Agency Chairman. Weird to be at the same role for 31 years when it's not your company. "Agency Chairman" sounds important, though!

Wait, what kind of organization is the World Financial Group...?

Kza7Yjr.png



Oh, turns out it's a pyramid scheme where everyone gives themselves impressive sounding titles.
If you want an example of the biggest hubris ever, there’s a guy a used to work with 20 years ago. Good guy, but let’s face it. He worked in warehouse driving a forklift and picking orders. His LinkedIn blurb he wrote he’s “ visionary”.
 

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
Intra-Logistical Inventory Manipulation Visionary
My mistake. Maybe he is visionary guru after all. Multitasking at its best. He sure spent a lot of time running hockey and baseball pools. Guy was a one man show waking around the office too looking for sign ups. One part inventory control expert, another part Yahoo Sports extraordinaire.
 

Cyberpunkd

Member
I honestly can't imagine being so insecure with myself and my own ability to motivate myself that I would need to resort to a charlatan like this or that Tate jackass.


It's mind boggling.
He is not insecure. As many “influencers” he realised he can make great money by just pretending things since nobody checks it. It’s the same with that Asian fat dude John Lok or something on Instagram - same thing, peddling his classes and seminars for losers that want “get rich quickly” scheme.
 

Durien

Member
Mildly curious, so let's find out who this sunburnt god of coke and steroids, I mean productivity, is.

Gdc4un4.png


Wow, I too want to perform at #MAXOUT levels by combining spirituality with the inner workings of the mind, not to mention tactical thoughts. Teach me, sensei! Maybe someday I too can pay someone to post a Forbes Contributor article about me so that I can use their logo on my personal site.

This guy sounds like one of the most successful businessmen ever, though! Let's look at his qualifications.


bsWK6EU.png


One of the top business leaders in the world! Wait, a BA in Communications from a non-selective school, no companies built, no corporate leadership experience? 31 years at the "World Financial Group," though, as Agency Chairman. Weird to be at the same role for 31 years when it's not your company. "Agency Chairman" sounds important, though!

Wait, what kind of organization is the World Financial Group...?

Kza7Yjr.png



Oh, turns out it's a pyramid scheme where everyone gives themselves impressive sounding titles.
University of the Pacific sounds like place you went during dubya dubya eye eye
 

20cent

Banned
Apparently, the interviewer (the guy with the glasses) is an advisor to a company called Neurovalens that designed this bullshit:

meA9U9m.png
After skipping through some of his youtube videos, I wondered who that guy was and found out that he sold his cereal bar company I've never heard of for 1 billion USD.
 

EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Staff Member
After skipping through some of his youtube videos, I wondered who that guy was and found out that he sold his cereal bar company I've never heard of for 1 billion USD.
Yes, he made about $400 million, so it's said, from the $1 billion sale of Quest Nutrition.

His channel has a more or less typical set of podcast guests on but it's clickbaity and self-help oriented.

For example:




First you were supposed to wake up at 5am to attack the day, then 4am, now it's 3:30am, fully into parody territory. Why not wake up at 9pm? Think of how far ahead you'll get compared to those 3:30am losers!
 
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