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Tinder is destroying men’s self-esteem (New York Post)

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Lol no, this isn't true at all unless you're in the Netherlands or something. 5'10" is the average for western countries

Yes, but if it's increasing over time, that means that for older people the average is significantly below 5 10, and for younger people it's significantly above. I'm not sure what exactly you are disagreeing with though. If you are disagreeing with the notion that the average is getting taller, then that is definitely the case in my country at least. See the following link: http://pediatrisk-endokrinologi.no/2008/1/Werner_2008_1.pdf

It's in Swedish, but the tables should still be understandable for you.

Also, there is data suggesting that the differences between tall people and short people are increasing, with more really tall people and more really short people (not in the link I gave though). This supports the idea that height is an important characteristic in partner selection, with taller people to a higher degree dating tall people, and shorter people dating short people to a higher degree.
 

SummitAve

Banned
I'm always surprised at the amount of consideration some people put into height. I still don't believe people actually care that much, and the few that actually do aren't worth anybodies time. I think I'd rather date a 2 foot person than a 5'4 woe is me short guy.
 

McLovin

Member
Don't use tinder if your not hot, if you aren't you get to buy them dinner if they are hungry and that's it. It's a shallow app for horny dudes with high hopes of getting laid.
 

eot

Banned
That depends. Being smart and articulate in one person's opinion could come across as pompous, pretentious and arrogant in another's. I'm not saying this applies to you, but a woman wanting a guy who's smart and articulate doesn't mean she wants a guy to mansplain Bertrand Russell philosophy to her either.

Generally speaking I think that if you're making a conscious effort to sound smart, then you aren't going to sound smart. Just be yourself; if you're smart it'll come across, if not well then I'm sure you have other good qualities.
 

Hjod

Banned
Do I need Facebook to use Tinder? I think you had to have it when I first used it?

I'm 6'2", and thirsty...
 
Has nothing to do with my height but I tried Lovoo for a while and maaaan, that was harsh. My self-esteem got destroyed for sure. A female co-worker had Lovoo too and she had like 50 messages per day and ignored maybe 49 of them. There are just too many men and not enough women on these dating apps. No matter how hard I tried, most women didn't even answer, it was brutal. So I had an idea..... a stupid idea..... I took my profile pic, created an account on a homosexual dating website and within 15 minutes got lots of messages, compliments, dick pics...... 'Unfortunately' I'm a Hetero, so I deleted my account again, but I left feeling kinda flattered. Self-esteemed restored!
 

daemonic

Banned
This has been happening on gay apps like grindr for years. If you don't look like a porn star you don't stand a chance - at least in the city. Personally I think these apps are toxic, but it's also the easiest way to find people.
 

ShOcKwAvE

Member
Being 32/6'1" is great, and I didn't even realize it until I was on a date five years ago with a girl and she asked what I liked most about my appearance. I said my hair or something and she replied, "I figured you'd say your height since that's my favorite." That was like a lightbulb going off because I finally understood how lucky I'd gotten in the genetic pool.

That said, confidence is the best thing you can have. One of my college roommates has hooked up with girls hotter than I've ever had, even though I have him beat in both height and overall attractiveness. At that time, I just never had a lot of confidence in myself as a person. He's better at conversation and keeps girls laughing, even if he's making fun of himself. I found myself sexiled from my dorm-room multiple times and racking my brain about how I wasn't having his "luck".

My advice to anyone frustrated with their height is to focus on what makes you great and work to improve that. Getting in shape and feeling good about your body will slowly build confidence, and eventually you'll realize not to get hung up on one rejection. Play the field, go on lots of dates even if they suck, because it's about learning what you like and don't like. When you're on an online date and you can quickly tell this girl isn't your type, then you won't feel afraid of her feeling the same way.

Practice makes perfect.
 
T

Transhuman

Unconfirmed Member
Why blame Tinder? The app isn't the one doing the swiping.

Clearly there is something in the coding of the app that prevents women from loving me, and the developers better fix it soon or I am going to take my money elsewhere.
 
Doubtful, you probably just improved your general posture. It's something most people take for granted.

But I always use my best posture when I get measured on my yearly physical, and then last January I was an inch taller.

That was after almost two years of dedicated full body strength training, though, not just going to the gym a couple times a week and doing curls. There is a lot of meat back there now, all the way up.

The point is that working out actually can make you taller, contrary to what BeforeU said. An inch is pretty significant if you ask me.
 

Shanlei91

Sonic handles my blue balls
Maybe it's a west coast thing, but there are lots of tall women here. Everywhere I go there is a woman who broke six feet easily. A 5'9 guy would have some trouble, even a 6'1 guy might be at a slight disadvantage. Plenty of women here who are 5'10 or higher and very few guys who are above 6'.

My short brother did meet his tall wife in Southern California but yeah, I could see it the disparity in height being regional. I grew up in a hispanic town where if you were 5'8 you were a giant. New York being a hodgepodge though means there's a mix of everything - just about every girl I've met from the midwest is over 5'8.
 
I'm 5'11 and south Asian decent (Pakistani). most south Asians I meet consider me tall, so it really just who you're comparing yourself to (5'5 is the avg male height in Pakistan).
 

KingV

Member
I would love to see his profile. I'm 5'6 living in NYC and I get dates all the time from online dating. One of my longest relationships was with a girl who was 5'9. I can't imagine a 5'9 guy living a "woe is me" scenario.

My younger brother who is 5'2, now that guy legit has it hard.

Edit: And my older brother is 5'4 and married with kids to a woman who is 5'11.

It's all about perspective. I'm short too and married with kids to a woman who's taller than me and not an morbidly obese lard monster.

Definitely online dating is harder if you're short, but don't let it drag you down. Nothing you can do about it.

I also think it's easier.to.meet women in real life. You will meet fewer women, but the interactions are more genuine.
 

Famassu

Member
Every time this discussion comes up on GAF I leave it convinced this 'girls only like guys above 6ft' thing is a US problem.

Average male height is listed anywhere from 5'' 8' to 5''10 in the US. It's 5'' 10' in Europe and in the UK, where I'm from, it's about 5'' 9' to 5' 11''.

I'm 5'' 10' and I've never had any negative experiences because of it and I've never heard of women asserting that a guy must be 6ft or they wouldn't even glance at you. Girls might have height preferences but the idea that you're invisible because you're AVERAGE height is nonsense to me.

Just throwing out some celebs people find attractive that are in the 5'' 7' to 5'' 9' range: Kit Harington, Tom Hardy, Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Kanye West, Jared Leto, Zac Efron, Robert Downey Jr, Pharrell, Andrew Garfield, Nick Jonas, Usher, Mark Wahlberg....

Prince was 5'' 2' and that motherfucker had serious game.

anigif_enhanced3084214176757201.gif
You can't compare celebrities to "normal" folk.

Also, 5"10' isn't short. Try being anywhere near 5"2' and then say that women give you a fair chance, on Tinder or real life. Not only are such short men teased, ignored & rejected by women, lots of other men look down on shorter, smaller men as well.
 

Az987

all good things
Ive had a lot of college educated, confident women that I've dated tell me they intimidate men. I'm usually just like oh yeah, baby, tell me about your thesis lol.

Then I smile, nod, and say right a few times, while she talks and I get slightly drunk.
 

Grimalkin

Member
i thought 'thank god I'm married'

Amen. Thankfully I am married and got together long before any of this shit.

5'9 is short bro. Anything under 5'11.9 is short. Let's keep it real.

That's not short. A 5'9" man is still 5" taller than the average American woman's height at 5'4".

When it came to gender, male Tinder users reported lower self-esteem than females.

I think men get more of a self-esteem hit because they seem to not be able to realistically judge how attractive they are in comparison to other men. So when they go on something like Tinder - which as far as I understand is a quick way to find someone to fuck, not for long-term relationships where anything more than appearance matters - they are brought down a few pegs.

Versus women are taught from the get-go to be constantly judging themselves against the women around them so they seem to know where their attractiveness is at - at a much more realistic level. Women are also taught to evaluate more than appearance in men versus men don't seem to get that lesson when they are in their formative years. The thing is, Tinder strips away everything but appearance.

I hate to use numbers but they are a shorthand way to get across what I am talking about. I typically see men who are at best a 4/10 or 5/10 thinking they should get to fuck women who are a 8/10 or 9/10. They aren't able to recognize their own level and think they should get much better.

Granted, if they are rich they probably can fuck 8/10 or 9/10 women because women are more practical than men are. Women are wiling to trade physical appearance for the potential to be provided for where we don't see this trade off with men too much. I think ths will change as women slowly but steadily out-earn men in greater and greater numbers.

I wonder if gay men have this same problem. I think their relative attractiveness is much more balanced. I'm no expert and this is probably an ignorant thing to say but when I see gay couples they tend to be more evenly matched than heterosexual couples.
 

fuzzyset

Member
Ive had a lot of college educated, confident women that I've dated tell me they intimidate men. I'm usually just like oh yeah, baby, tell me about your thesis lol.

Then I smile, nod, and say right a few times, while she talks and I get slightly drunk.

I went on a date with a girl that told me a previous date yelled at / got pissy with her because she was answering too many questions right at bar trivia. People are the worst.
 

y2dvd

Member
I dunno what yall's problem is. I get matches all the time. They always be like "hey handsum. I'm bored with Tinder. Cum chat wit me on my webcam" and I'm like OK!
 

Gilby

Member
I'm 6' 0" and I've had some good times with tinder, in fact I'm currently seeing someone I met on there, so it's not only for tall people.

Sure, you only get a percentage of the people you swipe right with that match with you, but isn't that the point? Isn't the whole appeal of tinder that you can basically ask a bunch of people if they're interested without consequence, and then pick from those that are interested?
 

Plywood

NeoGAF's smiling token!
I dunno what yall's problem is. I get matches all the time. They always be like "hey handsum. I'm bored with Tinder. Cum chat wit me on my webcam" and I'm like OK!
Wow! Me too!
I'm 6' 0" and I've had some good times with tinder, in fact I'm currently seeing someone I met on there, so it's not only for tall people.
Joke post.
 

LProtag

Member
Living the 5'5" life. I don't dwell on it that much, but I know it's certainly something that people pay attention to with online dating. I'm also not really that attractive so it's just another point against me, you know?
 

CS_Dan

Member
You can't compare celebrities to "normal" folk.

Also, 5"10' isn't short. Try being anywhere near 5"2' and then say that women give you a fair chance, on Tinder or real life. Not only are such short men teased, ignored & rejected by women, lots of other men look down on shorter, smaller men as well.

I mean, sometimes that's literally unavoidable
 

Llyranor

Member
I've never put my height online and I've never had anyone ASK my height online. But then again I'm Asian, so maybe people just assume :S
That's nothing compared to all the black girls on Twitter saying short men need to die lol.

Don't have the link to that account which showed all those crazy tweets, but from reading it you'd think if the purge was real women would be hunting down all the guys inder 6'.

Like this?
You can't let these people get to you. These are tons of people with disgusting opinions, you can't let them win and impact your self-esteem. That's like being down because Trump supporters don't want to date you as a minority. It is an audience that should be irrelevant/invisible to you. Remember that you are awesome.
 

Grimalkin

Member
Where the man heels at, that could add a few inches to us shortarses

Robert Downey Jr, Tom Cruise, and many other men in Hollywood get shoes special made that have secret wedges in the heel. They look like normal shoes but they aren't.

FYI they are called "shoe lifts" for men.

Funny enough, high heels were originally designed exclusively for men.
 

Ray Wonder

Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Honestly I'm so happy I'm exactly 6'. 5'-11" to some girls is like 8" shorter than 6'.
 

User1608

Banned
Glad I don't give a fuck about how short men are. Yeah, eliminating people due to their height is so shallow and messed up, personally speaking.
 

Az987

all good things
I went on a date with a girl that told me a previous date yelled at / got pissy with her because she was answering too many questions right at bar trivia. People are the worst.

Yeah I think a good bit of men want to feel like they're in charge and superior and feel threatened when they're not and it seems to be magnified on the internet so it makes sense that women would encounter a lot of that type on dating sites.
 

Grimalkin

Member
You can't compare celebrities to "normal" folk.

Also, 5"10' isn't short. Try being anywhere near 5"2' and then say that women give you a fair chance, on Tinder or real life. Not only are such short men teased, ignored & rejected by women, lots of other men look down on shorter, smaller men as well.

I have a friend that is 5'3" and he has no problems finding fuck buddies. The thing is he works out, always has a sharp haircut, and wears clothes that compliment him. So while he may be short and may be not naturally attractive he does what he can to "boost" himself and he has no issues. YMMV of course.
 
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