SquiddyCracker
Banned
Naw dude. the day after Valentines day...which should be interesting itself, is perfect.
On a saturday?
When you can't numb your brain at work?
No way, jose.
Naw dude. the day after Valentines day...which should be interesting itself, is perfect.
Narcissistic personality disorder.OP has gotten good advice, but I'd like to add one thing, regarding the timing of a break-up. There is never a good time. I had an ex that loved to pull that card whenever we had a problem, and anything can be turned into an "I can't believe you did this to me now, on _____." That blank can be a holiday, birthday, event from work, relative's/friend's birthday party or event, or proximity to any of these. There's always something that can be thrown at you for timing. I mean, just think of the days of the week. Monday- "I can't believe you tell me this now, when I've got a full work week ahead!" Friday - "I can't believe you ruined my weekend, and I'm so tired from work!"
There is never a good time besides now.
Sales charts won't help him now. Try being more specific about what NPD is?
Tuesday.
Tuesday is break-up day.
i've never felt worse in my life. i really don't know how to feel anymore.
Okay, this will seem weird but...
Read about NPD. See if it resonates at all with you. If it does, feel free to message me.
I sympathize greatly with OP. In a similar situation with some things better, some worse. Mostly the worse is that my GF is completely unstable and I don't trust her to act rationally if we broke up. Not that she'd hurt me or our possessions/my possessions, but that she'd hurt herself. It's an incredible burden, and one that I've shared with no one.
Is she mentally unstable? Has she gotten professional help?
There is like no good time to break up with someone around this time huh? A woman's/man's fb post will either be;
"Broke up with me the day before Valentine's day"
Or
"Broke up with me on Valentine's day"
Or
"Broke up with me after Valentine's day"
Gonna be brutal either way.
There is like no good time to break up with someone around this time huh? A woman's/man's fb post will either be;
"Broke up with me the day before Valentine's day"
Or
"Broke up with me on Valentine's day"
Or
"Broke up with me after Valentine's day"
Gonna be brutal either way.
Well I've made up my mind. Now waiting for her to get home. If you guys don't hear from me the rest of the night, I'll probably be single. Or dead.
Well, it's over. She came home right around 6, and I broke it to her almost immediately. She's pretty broken up about it, no anger, she did want to try and make it work. But I told her it was too late for that.
She's going to stay with her parents in Natick. She's too upset to drive, so they are both coming to pick her up, one to grab her car. She's going to move her stuff out on Saturday, and we'll figure the lease out after that. I'm thinking I should make myself scarce before her parents arrive. They like me a lot and vice versa, and I really don't want to have to deal with this conversation while it's still raw.
Downstairs in our foyer, have to call my parents now and break the bad news.
I feel terrible, but at the same time I feel like a huge weight has lifted off my chest.
Wow it sounds like things went quite smoothly, considering.
Well, on a scale of 1 to disaster, I think her getting so upset she almost threw up was at least an 8.
There was no profanity exchanged, nothing thrown, no hateful, spiteful comments. Just regret, and confusion on her part. She knew we hadn't been in a good place for a while, and she felt that she had not been trying hard enough to fix it. I just think trying to salvage after this talk would have thrown off the balance of power. No one wants a sycophant. I didn't lay a guilt trip on her, I didn't go through "the list" like I did in the OP, I simply said that I didn't feel that we were on the same page emotionally, physically, or where we wanted to be in our lives.
Thank you everyone for the honest opinions (for or against), I really weighed a lot of them over the past 48 hours. Sometimes a slap to the face from a total stranger is what you need to break you out of a funk.
To me that kind of reaction says she was in shock and did not feel the same way about the relationship as you did. I find it kind of surprising that you just straight up ended it, especially after four years and considering there was not a catastrophic turn of events that prompted this.
The withholding sex thing is a legitimate issue, but a lot of your other points seem like they would happen in just about any relationship.
Her reaction of shock is... Interesting, to say the least. You'd figure she'd be less shocked if the problems were so obvious. Regardless, good for you OP.
They don't even seem to want the same things in life. I wouldn't stick around wasting her time and mine.
I think you made the right call, Sho_nuff.
Sounds like she really didn't realize at all that the relationship had the potential to end, but I guess it happens like that sometimes.
Very courageous. And you're right: if she was recognizing not working hard on the relationship after just 4+ years, how much worse would it have gotten down the road?Yeah, she always kind of assumed that I was "stuck with her" (her words, not mine) no matter what our ups and downs were. Her admitting that she hasn't tried her hardest to make things better sealed my decision more than it made me waver.
Yeah, she always kind of assumed that I was "stuck with her" (her words, not mine) no matter what our ups and downs were. Her admitting that she hasn't tried her hardest to make things better sealed my decision more than it made me waver.
Well, it's over. She came home right around 6, and I broke it to her almost immediately. She's pretty broken up about it, no anger, she did want to try and make it work. But I told her it was too late for that.
She's going to stay with her parents in Natick. She's too upset to drive, so they are both coming to pick her up, one to grab her car. She's going to move her stuff out on Saturday, and we'll figure the lease out after that. I'm thinking I should make myself scarce before her parents arrive. They like me a lot and vice versa, and I really don't want to have to deal with this conversation while it's still raw.
Downstairs in our foyer, have to call my parents now and break the bad news.
I feel terrible, but at the same time I feel like a huge weight has lifted off my chest.
Yeah, she always kind of assumed that I was "stuck with her" (her words, not mine) no matter what our ups and downs were. Her admitting that she hasn't tried her hardest to make things better sealed my decision more than it made me waver.
Congratulations, Sho. You took a HUGE step in the right direction for yourself. My advice is to keep it amicable and stay in touch. 4 years with someone is a big deal. Don't wanna completely demolish any bridges.