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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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J

Jintor

Member
Christ my joke game is clearly off today. I just wanted to crack wise about how rad cuisine and cooking is in dating and now I feel like a wanker.

That said, maybe don't struggle meal on a first date.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
Jintor said:
Christ my joke game is clearly off today. I just wanted to crack wise about how rad cuisine and cooking is in dating and now I feel like a wanker.

That said, maybe don't struggle meal on a first date.
Click to expand...

Keep losing, this wasn't a date for her. She wanted a friend, she rejected the coffee because she could not afford it and probably didn't want to lose face having someone she wanted to be friends with pay for her if she could not at least pay her half.
 
O

Ozorov

Member
LookAtMeGo said:
What the fuck? Peanut butter and rice? Keep smoking crack brehs.

So I bumped into the neighbour walking home at like 10pm from my buddies house. Ended up having drinks at the pub downstairs. Chilled at her place until now (3am) and now I need to sleep for 3 hours before work. She is totally bi.

ANYWAYS! I will behave I swear to god.
Click to expand...

How can you work after 3 hrs of sleep and drinks?

I would have been a dead man.
 
T

Tsukumo

Member
Spoiled Milk said:
Story time. I remember a few years back there was a really lovely Chinese girl at school who ended up liking me a lot. I was working as a math tutor and I'm not sure why but I think when I met her at work I ended up chatting with her for two hours talking about interesting things I learned in linguistics. I kept asking her if I was rambling but she told me to keep going. Then she asked for my number and she invited me to get coffee next to her apartment. So it comes time to get coffee and when I ask her if we're still on, she says to just meet her at her apartment instead. Wow.

Then I get to her place. First thing I notice is that it's really dirty. She said it's because she was moving out in a couple of days but it looked like it was dirty even before she started moving out. Next notable thing that happened was that she says she's hungry, takes the bowl out of the rice cooker, mixes some peanut butter into the rice into it, and just starts going to town on it with a big ass spoon. BLEH. I mean I think this is definitely just me (it's just peanut butter, right?) but I had to really suppress my gag reflex. I'm Filipino and eat plenty of rice but I had never heard of this. I'm actually queasy just typing this out.

Anyway, we talk for an hour in her empty ass apartment while we sit on the only two pieces of furniture left in the whole room. For some reason, in the middle of conversation, she lets me know that I'd be a lot cuter if I was taller.
Click to expand...

She invited you to her house which is the closest thing to a call-sign for fooling around there is, and you never expressed any type of reward, either verbal or physical, for her clearly showing she was into you.
She had to put you down a little bit.

Anyway at some point I can't take it anymore and I let her know I have to get going, thus ending the worst date I've ever had in my entire life. I ignore one of her texts after and the next day she completely freaks out over text. I can't remember the details all too clearly (it was long) but the gist is that she was extremely upset and she was really hoping we could be friends and do stuff together. I simply said "what?" in total shock at this extreme situation I had found myself in and she simply responded "never mind."

As far as attractiveness goes she was totally an 8.
Click to expand...

You dodged a bullet. People who leave alone but can't cook for shit and don't look after the house scream psycho to me.

My guess is that she was really lonely because she had just moved here about a year ago and wasn't making many friends (maybe culture and language barrier, but her english was extremely good) and I was the only person who had given her much attention at all that wasn't also a FOB Chinese. In retrospect I should have been more understanding and nicer about this whole thing but I was being extremely selfish and didn't want to inconvenience myself with one minor awkward social situation.
Click to expand...

You describe her as attractive so I highly doubt you were the only one giving her any attention. It's more likely she eyed you as a possible boyfriend.
Outside of being put-off by the cuter if taller jab, you did everything right. You can't avoid being a bit harmful when you reject or dump people.
Unless you ghost them... which of course ends up being even more humiliating and insulting.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
Tsukumo said:
She invited you to her house which is the closest thing to a call-sign for fooling around there is, and you never expressed any type of reward, either verbal or physical, for her clearly showing she was into you.
She had to put you down a little bit.



You dodged a bullet. People who leave alone but can't cook for shit and don't look after the house scream psycho to me.



You describe her as attractive so I highly doubt you were the only one giving her any attention. It's more likely she eyed you as a possible boyfriend.
Outside of being put-off by the cuter if taller jab, you did everything right. You can't avoid being a bit harmful when you reject or dump people.
Unless you ghost them... which of course ends up being even more humiliating and insulting.
Click to expand...

This is what cultural ignorance looks like guys. Plus bonus misogyny.
 
O

Ozorov

Member
artsi said:
What is Mama Bird?
Click to expand...
The sexual act of a girl desperately trying to get pregnant but her lover will only let her give him a blow job. Once he has left the room she attempts to impregnate herself by “Mama Birding” his cum (throwing-up) into her own underwear.

"She was so desperate that after the blow job she tried to "Mama Bird" his cum into her panties."

/Google
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
yeah, we didn't want to know.

Boy-That-Escalated-Quickly-Anchorman.gif
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
Ozorov said:
The sexual act of a girl desperately trying to get pregnant but her lover will only let her give him a blow job. Once he has left the room she attempts to impregnate herself by “Mama Birding” his cum (throwing-up) into her own underwear.

"She was so desperate that after the blow job she tried to "Mama Bird" his cum into her panties."

/Google
Click to expand...

Good lord, Mega, you want to be a daddy so bad.
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
That isn't what I had in mind.

I was just talking about having her chew food, and then kiss it into my mouth.

Bank account not happening.

Roommate situation is a WIP. My first concern is getting a new job. Once I have job, apartment comes next. I have had a few interviews, but so far nothing. Well get there though.
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
Every day, this thread manages to surprise me.

Jesus, Mega.

It's almost like we need short narratives of the regulars, since we're the fucked up, therapizing panel that counsels you all.
 
Mediking

Mediking

Member
Ozorov said:
The sexual act of a girl desperately trying to get pregnant but her lover will only let her give him a blow job. Once he has left the room she attempts to impregnate herself by “Mama Birding” his cum (throwing-up) into her own underwear.

"She was so desperate that after the blow job she tried to "Mama Bird" his cum into her panties."

/Google
Click to expand...

Megalosaro said:
That isn't what I had in mind.

I was just talking about having her chew food, and then kiss it into my mouth.

Bank account not happening.

Roommate situation is a WIP. My first concern is getting a new job. Once I have job, apartment comes next. I have had a few interviews, but so far nothing. Well get there though.
Click to expand...


Lmao I'm dying.

Seriously though... good luck searching for a good job, Mega. Never give up.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
latest


For those of you just joining us this weekend, dating GAF is on a roll, for me it's just Saturday evening and we have already had in the rapidly moving past 2 pages;

I'm being ghosted by my neighbor who I was recommended not to get involved with because of the predictable fallout.

I've cheated on my long distance fiancee

Play your cards right to have a threesome with your sister

Misunderstood poor Chinese girl

"Mama birding"

I'd say I'm looking forward to the next 48 hours, but I don't want to rubberneck a predictable car crash.
 
L

Leeness

Member
Mega tho 🤢

But yes, good luck with your job search. I do hope you can get away from your psycho roommate.

I haven't been reading that much of this thread lately, been quite busy. You guys are swell tho.
 
O

Ozorov

Member
always crazy bacon said:
latest


For those of you just joining us this weekend, dating GAF is on a roll, for me it's just Saturday evening and we have already had in the rapidly moving past 2 pages;

I'm being ghosted by my neighbor who I was recommended not to get involved with because of the predictable fallout.

I've cheated on my long distance fiancee

Play your cards right to have a threesome with your sister

Misunderstood poor Chinese girl

"Mama birding"

I'd say I'm looking forward to the next 48 hours, but I don't want to rubberneck a predictable car crash.
Click to expand...
Haha good summary right there
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
Mega, chew up some food (or the corner of your resume) and feed the interviewer. He will appreciate the Mama Bird gesture. Guaranteed job offer.
 
V

vypek

Member
Lmao! I figured what Mega meant with Mama Bird cause that's literally the only thing I can think of that distinguishes the bird.

Never heard of that impregnation thing that was described.

I don't want to shame what other people do but neither of those seems really appealing to me. Different strokes for different folks I guess :/ I've only heard of people doing that when someone is seriously ill and can't eat.

No joint bank account happening at all? She won't be managing the money? That's good.

always crazy bacon said:
latest


For those of you just joining us this weekend, dating GAF is on a roll, for me it's just Saturday evening and we have already had in the rapidly moving past 2 pages;

I'm being ghosted by my neighbor who I was recommended not to get involved with because of the predictable fallout.

I've cheated on my long distance fiancee

Play your cards right to have a threesome with your sister

Misunderstood poor Chinese girl

"Mama birding"

I'd say I'm looking forward to the next 48 hours, but I don't want to rubberneck a predictable car crash.
Click to expand...

lmao

ZackieChan said:
Mega, chew up some food (or the corner of your resume) and feed the interviewer. He will appreciate the Mama Bird gesture. Guaranteed job offer.
Click to expand...

lol


This thread has been somehow more incredible in the past few days
 
L

LookAtMeGo

Member
always crazy bacon said:
latest


For those of you just joining us this weekend, dating GAF is on a roll, for me it's just Saturday evening and we have already had in the rapidly moving past 2 pages;

I'm being ghosted by my neighbor who I was recommended not to get involved with because of the predictable fallout.

I've cheated on my long distance fiancee

Play your cards right to have a threesome with your sister

Misunderstood poor Chinese girl

"Mama birding"

I'd say I'm looking forward to the next 48 hours, but I don't want to rubberneck a predictable car crash.
Click to expand...
Lol
 
P

protomouse

Member
Ozorov said:
The sexual act of a girl desperately trying to get pregnant but her lover will only let her give him a blow job. Once he has left the room she attempts to impregnate herself by “Mama Birding” his cum (throwing-up) into her own underwear.

"She was so desperate that after the blow job she tried to "Mama Bird" his cum into her panties."

/Google
Click to expand...

Ah, so a kind of reverse felching?
 
B

B.O.O.M

Member
Ozorov said:
The sexual act of a girl desperately trying to get pregnant but her lover will only let her give him a blow job. Once he has left the room she attempts to impregnate herself by “Mama Birding” his cum (throwing-up) into her own underwear.

"She was so desperate that after the blow job she tried to "Mama Bird" his cum into her panties."

/Google
Click to expand...

LMFAO this shit is hilarious
 
artsi

artsi

Member
To me the most disturbing thing is not the act itself but how Mega talks like it is this casual thing couples usually do.

"So hey, what did you do last night?"
"Oh we were just mama birding with my girlfriend, we had so fun"

tD0GCrS.gif
 
S

Solo

Member
What in the actual fuck? You want your girlfriend to chew up food and feed it to you like a bird? And you not only like this idea, but like it so much to qualify it as future wife material?

Breh. You are absolutely fucked.
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
artsi said:
To me the most disturbing thing is not the act itself but how Mega talks like it is this casual thing couples usually do.

"So hey, what did you do last night?"
"Oh we were just mama birding with my girlfriend, we had so fun"

tD0GCrS.gif
Click to expand...

Lol..

So long story short, one time we were sharing a cookie. Neither of us wanted the last bite, so I suggested we "mama bird" the last bite. Obviously that's gross, but it became an in joke.

So over the next two months, I would jokingly being it up. Then last night she's like "ok, you want to play mama bird? Let's play."

I couldn't back down lol. It took us like 20 minutes of neat attempts before it happened. We kept laughing when I would come in for the food. It was Tikka Masala btw.
 
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