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Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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I'm Scandinavian. We don't roll like that.

g2DQgr5.jpg

No wonder Danes take so many antidepressants if that's the social situation in Scandinavia.
 

No where in here does it put onus on those women to actually approach guys they find interesting. I don't buy this shit for a fucking second.

In this thread the number one piece of advice is when you see someone you are interested in, talk to them, ask them out. It's not just guy advice, its not advice that has anything to do with who you are, how you look, your status etc, it's simple, somewhere, sometime, you have to take responsibility for your happiness. How someone can write this wall of text and not at any point suggest, hell even mention "hey why don't you make the first move or maybe they also need to do something different" to me says, they don't understand.

I say this to anybody who asks about dating or leagues or leagues. Underneath the looks and the smile and the body there is a person in there who is almost assuredly as insecure and fragile as you are. If you believe otherwise, you buy into the idea that you can coast an entire life of perfection on good looks and nothing else and that never happens. There are no leagues, an ugly guy or a pretty girl is still a person. And as a person the onus is on you to do what you have to do to survive, the get to where you want to go, to become a better person.

So this post, personally, maybe its an unpopular take, but I find it to be none sense for the same reason every post in this thread where people don't make a move to be none sense. You can build a whole world of words to excuse your inaction, but it's still just bullshit. Don't give your number to someone, ask for theirs and text it. Ask for a date. Show interest. Pretty people problems are the same as ugly socially awkward people problems, yall gotta actually do something to help yourself.
 

Dryk

Member
I didn't say anything :p I feel bad for those women and I hope they find good people to be with.
To be fair you did point out that you wanted to say something. Though conversely why I can see why you get on the other's nerves I wish they'd be more patient. Everyone has their limits I guess.
 

Leeness

Member
To be fair you did point out that you wanted to say something. Though conversely why I can see why you get on the other's nerves I wish they'd be more patient. Everyone has their limits I guess.

Sorry. I was just trying to joke a little bit while also commenting on the article. I do feel bad for those women.
 

Leeness

Member
Dating Age is serious business. No jokes pls


Sorry, I'll stop. :( I like reading about your guys' ventures but I'll try to refrain from commenting. I know I say that a lot and end up commenting anyway because I do like to try to fit in here like a normal person, but if I'm a bother, I'll try not to say anything.

Sorry again :(
 
I agree that those women should probably just ask people out. It's not as if their is no one interested in them, it's more that people are too afraid to approach them. If they actually were more forward and asked out guys they like they could pretty much have have the pick of the litter.

Wow, i asked the barista for her number and shes engaged! :( i'm embarrassed , she was cool and today she said that she likes dark souls and video games are her thing. Uhhh... sigh...

I see this sentiment way too much and I feel like it's a real sign of immaturity. There are so many things that makes someone interesting and there are far more important traits to look for in a person than if they like dark souls and video games.

You're setting yourself up for failure and disappointment if that's one of your main criteria when looking for a member of the opposite sex.
 

Dryk

Member
Sorry. I was just trying to joke a little bit while also commenting on the article. I do feel bad for those women.
I feel bad for them too. I don't approach people (for different reasons) and wish sometimes people would approach me so I get it. It's the same problem that relatively down-to-earth rich people end up with.

I was actually perusing the university's Yik Yak... zone? I dunno what they're called... today and it paints a picture of a bunch of lonely people who refuse to talk to each other.
 

Armadilo

Banned
I agree that those women should probably just ask people out. It's not as if their is no one interested in them, it's more that people are too afraid to approach them. If they actually were more forward and asked out guys they like they could pretty much have have the pick of the litter.



I see this sentiment way too much and I feel like it's a real sign of immaturity. There are so many things that makes someone interesting and there are far more important traits to look for in a person than if they like dark souls and video games.

You're setting yourself up for failure and disappointment if that's one of your main criteria when looking for a member of the opposite sex.

I was just surprised that's all. When she said that video games were here thing, it made her very interesting to me. First I thought she was just a cute girl, but she ended up being a cute geeky girl that liked video games. But tomorrow is just another day.

Today was not a bad day.. It felt long and short at the same time. Things have changed but its good change, Improvement of myself.
 
Sorry, I'll stop. :( I like reading about your guys' ventures but I'll try to refrain from commenting. I know I say that a lot and end up commenting anyway because I do like to try to fit in here like a normal person, but if I'm a bother, I'll try not to say anything.

Sorry again :(

Don't take this the wrong, but you really have to stop with the over apologising. Zackie was clearly joking and while I can appreciate you have some confidence issues, no-one here is attacking you or wants/expects an apology from you for anything you say.

Don't just read about what people are up to, join in and voice your opinion. Some might disagree but that doesn't mean you have to apologise. We're all here to help each other after all, to be our own little support group. Some advice might be blunt and direct, but it's always from a caring place.
 

anaslexy

Member
So I met this girl at a salsa dance on Friday and went out for drinks with her on Sunday which went great and we even made out. We set a dinner date for today (Wednesday) but she cancelled last minute which is understandable because her grandfather was in a car accident and she had to be at the hospital.

Later at night she msged me that her grandfather is in a stable condition and we'll catchup at salsa dance this Saturday. I found that a bit strange because I was expecting her to offer another dinner plan since she cancelled.

Am I overthinking this and I should just meet her on Saturday? Or should I ask her out again? I feel she did trust me because she had given me her address so I could pick her up.
 

Zareth

Member
So I met this girl at a salsa dance on Friday and went out for drinks with her on Sunday which went great and we even made out. We set a dinner date for today (Wednesday) but she cancelled last minute which is understandable because her grandfather was in a car accident and she had to be at the hospital.

Later at night she msged me that her grandfather is in a stable condition and we'll catchup at salsa dance this Saturday. I found that a bit strange because I was expecting her to offer another dinner plan since she cancelled.

Am I overthinking this and I should just meet her on Saturday? Or should I ask her out again? I feel she did trust me because she had given me her address so I could pick her up.

I think your overthinking it. Play it cool and maybe ask her after dance class on Saturday to go out with you for a bite or something.
 
We didn't talk much at all yesterday. A couple of texts, but that was it. She was busy with school, but I find that kind of odd.

She did kiss me, though, so I'm probably just overthinking again.
 
So I met this girl at a salsa dance on Friday and went out for drinks with her on Sunday which went great and we even made out. We set a dinner date for today (Wednesday) but she cancelled last minute which is understandable because her grandfather was in a car accident and she had to be at the hospital.

Later at night she msged me that her grandfather is in a stable condition and we'll catchup at salsa dance this Saturday. I found that a bit strange because I was expecting her to offer another dinner plan since she cancelled.

Am I overthinking this and I should just meet her on Saturday? Or should I ask her out again? I feel she did trust me because she had given me her address so I could pick her up.

You're definitely overthinking but at the same time you shouldn't be waiting around for her, I hope you're lining up other dates too.

Which you are, right?

We didn't talk much at all yesterday. A couple of texts, but that was it. She was busy with school, but I find that kind of odd.

She did kiss me, though, so I'm probably just overthinking again.

You are. There's nothing strange about this, you just saw each other and she does have a life of her own...
 

Kevtones

Member
Need some advice:

On 7th date she tells me she is likely moving and is a little distant. Still we have an awesome date that’s like 12 hours long and really flirty/touchy/normally affectionate. However she leaves a little abruptly at the end of the night instead of 'coming inside'.

Note: we’ve done everything but sleep together at this point. We’re really cool with each other. Actually getting to know one another.

8th date we cooked together at my place and then I went for it and she pulled back saying she isn’t available for it. Saying that because she’s moving she doesn’t want to get attached. I’m cool and respectful. Next day I text to see how she’s doing and she says good/asks the same thing.

I wait 3-4 days and call her out of the blue. She’s really happy to hear from me and is asking all these questions. We hang out. Get drinks and go to a UCB show a few days later. No funny business but she’s flirty. Three days later she calls to see if I want to bring my friend who is visiting to meet at a brewery. No funny business but she’s very flirty, touchy, and there’s obviously something. My friend and her friends pick up on it.

Last Saturday I invited her to my friend’s party. She arrives telling me she had a job interview here, locally. We’re cool and flirty when she comes into the bathroom as I’m washing my hands. I fucking go for it. She’s all about it. We make out. She then spent the night. Things happen. We were drunk and she even said ‘this doesn’t change the fact that I might be moving but…’ Yeah, she was all about it.

Part of me thinks she’s legitimately interested. Part of me thinks this is a game. Maybe both. I trust her when she said she was going to move and we’ve already arranged to hang out/her to spend the night Friday.

Just trying to keep it casual but her and I really get along...

Any tips?
 
How long has she said she's moving for? I'm assuming it's not just to another apartment in the city. I know people can up and leave pretty quickly (especially in this city), but it's weird she keeps dragging that along and using it as an end point in the relationship.

I don't think it'll last for a long time, so it might be better to just break it off before you get super attached. Or if you really like her, at least have a frank discussion about where your lives are going.

Also, you have good taste in comedy theaters (I used to perform at UCB).
 

gwailo

Banned
I think by 10 dates (if I am counting correctly) and you have had sex, it is definitely turning more into a relationship than something casual. If you only want something casual, you need to be honest with her about that. The whole moving thing is kind of a red flag - is she now looking for something local so she can stay with you? Also if you are moving out of a city, you generally will have a definite date. It's a major thing in life so you will want to have things planned out. Not this "oh, I might be doing it".

Later at night she msged me that her grandfather is in a stable condition and we'll catchup at salsa dance this Saturday. I found that a bit strange because I was expecting her to offer another dinner plan since she cancelled.

Am I overthinking this and I should just meet her on Saturday? Or should I ask her out again? I feel she did trust me because she had given me her address so I could pick her up.

You're overthinking it. My stepson has been in the hospital a lot for cancer treatment. "Stable" just means grandpa is not in immediate danger of dying. She may still want to be with him in the hospital to give support to him and her family, or maybe help out grandma with chores at home. Also, being in a hospital for any length of time will wipe you out and she may just need some time to rest.
 

n64coder

Member
Saying that because she’s moving she doesn’t want to get attached.

She arrives telling me she had a job interview here, locally.

Did she say why she was moving in the first place? If she's interviewing locally, it sounds like the move might not be serious. I would just continue to go out with her but at the same time, date other women if there are opportunities.
 

Kevtones

Member
Sorry I should've been clear: she would be moving from Los Angeles to Denver, Colorado with her sister. She had an interview with Los Angeles county.


And I'm not looking for casual but I'm letting it flow for the time being. I don't want to put too much pressure on things if she's moving. Let me emphasize this too: we really get along.

And I have been dating others it's just... Like the week and a half after I went on 4 dates with 4 women and kissed/made out with each of them and had a GOOD time. Still I didn't call any of them or text them much after because I still liked this other. I'm ridiculous.
 

gwailo

Banned
I think in that case just talk with her and be clear about your feelings and what you are looking for and get more of a clear idea what her living situation will be.

If you are getting attached and she will be moving, it's probably best to break it off. LDRs almost never work out.
 

Kevtones

Member
I think in that case just talk with her and be clear about your feelings and what you are looking for and get more of a clear idea what her living situation will be.

If you are getting attached and she will be moving, it's probably best to break it off. LDRs almost never work out.

Thank you. We've been clear but it's sort of like 'she doesn't know'. If she finds out she is staying... I think we progress.

Trying to keep expectations realistic.
 

Denzar

Member
I'm 28 and I'm interested in an 18 year old. One part of me says, fuck it. It doesn't really matter. Another part thinks it's wrong.

I know her mental age will be the deciding factor for me, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm a dirty individual.

Last week a 20 year old tried to kiss me. She's very attractive and I almost went with it but I pulled back at the last second. Kissing a 20 year old was wrong in my head.
 

No Love

Banned
I'm 28 and I'm interested in an 18 year old. One part of me says, fuck it. It doesn't really matter. Another part thinks it's wrong.

I know her mental age will be the deciding factor for me, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm a dirty individual.

Last week a 20 year old tried to kiss me. She's very attractive and I almost went with it but I pulled back at the last second. Kissing a 20 year old was wrong in my head.

...Just stop white-knighting yourself. Really. It's not wrong. Young chicks like to fuck older guys. It's pretty normal.
 
I'm 28 and I'm interested in an 18 year old. One part of me says, fuck it. It doesn't really matter. Another part thinks it's wrong.

I know her mental age will be the deciding factor for me, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm a dirty individual.

Last week a 20 year old tried to kiss me. She's very attractive and I almost went with it but I pulled back at the last second. Kissing a 20 year old was wrong in my head.

Ayyy lmao. Go for it dude.
 

Moff

Member
I'm 28 and I'm interested in an 18 year old. One part of me says, fuck it. It doesn't really matter. Another part thinks it's wrong.

I know her mental age will be the deciding factor for me, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm a dirty individual.

Last week a 20 year old tried to kiss me. She's very attractive and I almost went with it but I pulled back at the last second. Kissing a 20 year old was wrong in my head.

dirty isn't something bad, and if she is an adult woman who is into older guys she will just find another, so if you are interested it might just as well be you
 
I'm 28 and I'm interested in an 18 year old. One part of me says, fuck it. It doesn't really matter. Another part thinks it's wrong.

I know her mental age will be the deciding factor for me, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm a dirty individual.

Last week a 20 year old tried to kiss me. She's very attractive and I almost went with it but I pulled back at the last second. Kissing a 20 year old was wrong in my head.

Younger women like older men, and older men like younger women. Stop censoring yourself for normal behavior. If an 18 year old girl wanted to fuck me I would be so there.
 
Been on like 4 dates with this pretty cool girl but i am the one who texts first most of the time in the morning. After that the conversation flows great until either one of us gets a lot of stuff to do at work.

I think im just overthinking how much it matters.
 

gwailo

Banned
How much what matters? You or her shouldn't really be expecting to be texting all the time at work. It's a good way to smother the relationship and/or get fired.

If it's about who texts first, then, yes you are overthinking it. You don't need to be in 24/7 constant contact where you've already started a conversation before you've taken your morning crap. You've gone on 4 dates with this person, you can save that kind of stuff for when you're married :)
 

panty

Member
28 yo interested in having sex with a 18 yo or dating one? If the latter then I'd say there's something wrong with you...
 
Been on like 4 dates with this pretty cool girl but i am the one who texts first most of the time in the morning. After that the conversation flows great until either one of us gets a lot of stuff to do at work.

I think im just overthinking how much it matters.

You can't be serious. Do you even RTFT? C'mon, you're better than this.

28 yo interested in having sex with a 18 yo or dating one? If the latter then I'd say there's something wrong with you...

Why?
 

bluethree

Member
Younger women like older men, and older men like younger women. Stop censoring yourself for normal behavior. If an 18 year old girl wanted to fuck me I would be so there.

I used to have hang-ups about dating younger women (probably because my sister is in my early 20s), but now I wouldn't care so much. Most of the women I end up on dates with these days are mid-20s-30s though :p I couldn't do as young as 18 though...maybe from 20 would be fine.
 
I'm 28 and I'm interested in an 18 year old. One part of me says, fuck it. It doesn't really matter. Another part thinks it's wrong.

I know her mental age will be the deciding factor for me, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm a dirty individual.

Last week a 20 year old tried to kiss me. She's very attractive and I almost went with it but I pulled back at the last second. Kissing a 20 year old was wrong in my head.

I'm almost 40 and as long as young women find me appealing, I'm not gonna stop dating them.

Eff the 'bators.
 

Ultima_5

Member
because its weird? it's like you only wanna be satisfied in the pussy department and you aint smart enough to hold down a woman your own age

This is a bit harsh but I kinda agree.... I'm only 24 but I went on a couple of dates with a 19 year old and it was kinda awful. People change a lot.

Though idk how much changing happens once you hit your mid 20s
 

Armadilo

Banned
Guys i just dont know, seems the only girls i can talk to are the girls that work in the mall. I spend most of my time in the mall..its bad and today and as of i speak, i feel like a creep.

So some girls that i have been trying to speak to are in a terrible spot, these girls that i have been trying to speak to work in stores that only sell womens clothes, so...yeah..i just appear and probably am just a creep
 

Salamando

Member
This is a bit harsh but I kinda agree.... I'm only 24 but I went on a couple of dates with a 19 year old and it was kinda awful. People change a lot.

Though idk how much changing happens once you hit your mid 20s

There's dozens of reasons why a 30-18 relationship will fail. But if they find a way to make it work and find happiness, I say let 'em date.
 
because its weird? it's like you only wanna be satisfied in the pussy department and you aint smart enough to hold down a woman your own age

This is a bit harsh but I kinda agree.... I'm only 24 but I went on a couple of dates with a 19 year old and it was kinda awful. People change a lot.

Though idk how much changing happens once you hit your mid 20s

That's an odd thing to say. Plenty of women my age (37) aren't particularly smart. 18 is too young for me, but I wouldn't knock the hustle of anyone who enjoyed going out with someone that age.

I'm almost 40 and as long as young women find me appealing, I'm not gonna stop dating them.

Eff the 'bators.

"internet bro fist"

Guys i just dont know, seems the only girls i can talk to are the girls that work in the mall. I spend most of my time in the mall..its bad and today and as of i speak, i feel like a creep.

So some girls that i have been trying to speak to are in a terrible spot, these girls that i have been trying to speak to work in stores that only sell womens clothes, so...yeah..i just appear and probably am just a creep

Dude, stop hanging out at the mall and creeping on people. Get out and actually DO things. Also, the way you write exudes about zero confidence. The inconsistent spacing, constant ellipses, and lack of capitalization. You need to be assertive and realize that you are a person with value. Then you need to act like it.

No one wants to date someone who is meek, or doesn't do anything interesting. So start doing interesting things and gain some self confidence!
 

Armadilo

Banned
So now i just don't know ...

~~~~
I think i'm just going to give up, just keep improving myself. I have never had a girlfriend, so a liitle more time without one. Will be ok, I have not played videogames since a while now. Time to get back on that.

I am Potential, work and keep working. Time to get back and become a someone...
 

WolfeTone

Member
That second girl from yesterday , that i introduced myself to works at this only womens clothes so today i go to ask for her number because its not like could just into the store anytime andddd she's not there today.

So i wanted to introduce myself to another girl that works at the makeup area of a store and thats when i started to feel like a total creep. I introduced myself and told her my name and she told me hers, and we talked a little bit and i left. She acted as a professional and i acted like a creep. "What the fuck am i doing here" came into my mind.

So now i just don't know ...

I obviously don't know you dude, but having read the last couple of your posts I can see that you're making the effort to get out there and be proactive in approaching women and being direct. That's great and I seriously applaud you for doing something that so many people are too scared to do. That being said, I think you're perhaps going a bit too far with this. Why were you even in the women's clothing store or make up store to begin with? A coffee shop is one thing, but those other places just make it sound like you went in there with the express purpose of finding women. And as you've said, it does seem a little creepy.

Rather than using your newfound confidence to approach women while they're working, I think you might have more success if you apply your direct approach to girls that you meet organically throughout the course of your day. Or take a dance class or join a meet up group that puts you in contact with new people and go from there. Rather than just asking out any random girl that you see in a store.
 

WolfeTone

Member
Sometimes its good to have "the Balls" to do stuff, however maybe you should just wait.. then everything will be better

I think it's just about picking your moments. Sure you could have the "Balls" to talk to every woman you pass on the street, but it's likely not going to lead to any significant results. Pick your moments. Being confident allows you to act in situations where you feel a connection with someone. A retail worker who seems overly friendly, a friend of a friend who you think is cute. Rather than doing nothing and regretting your missed opportunity later, you can use your "Balls" to seize those opportunities and ask for her number.
 
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