I just wanna start out by saying I'm so grateful to this game and community. Allow me to indulge my entire life story in front of this opportunistically large audience.
When the original announcement trailer came out at TGA, I thought "there's no way I could be into this... I can't tell what the story is about, and waiting will be far too difficult." I ignored it and left it alone for several months.
Luckily, I had a friend who was super into waiting for Elden Ring that wouldn't let it go after the big release and hype. He kept egging me on try to play the game again, read deeper into the lore, and see what sense of pride and derangement others got from waiting for Elden Ring. That could be mine, too.
Now I should let you know, before giving in to the game hype, I was a very well adjusted individual. I had stable relationships, enjoyed vanilla sex, held a steady job, and bathed regularly. Little did I realize what a spiral of chaos I'd enter upon giving the game a second go.
Upon playing for the second time as a dual wielding hulking guts clone character, I immediately I realized I missed a few things the first time. Elden Ring is actually collaboration between JRR Tolkien and Hideo Kojima?!?!? Sign me up!! The biggest name in fantasy writing and Japanese cutscene development... no wonder the hype for the game is so justified!
Next I noticed there was this super liked and beloved blue girl doll, this malenia sword guy, and uh.. well. Honestly the game didn't make that much more sense the second time around, but after getting my friends to help me beat some of the super hard liurnia of the lakes bosses for me, I finally made it to the end! I defeated John Eldenring!
As I listened to the silence as the Producer and Developer credits rolled, I was left in awe. What did I just witness??
After that, I did a deep dive into Elden Ring. It started simple, with wikia walktroughts to have the best outcome possible ofr my favourite characters. However my search for new characters to play became an addiction. I started playing the game every day. I started reading 4chan leaks for future DLC. I got a tattoo of the bald guy. I lost my ability to distinguish between real world and caelid. I somehow convinced myself that "next time... i will stop playing Elden Ring..." EVERY SINGLE TIME. I started making daily jornal entries telling this lie to myself.
This addiction has utterly destroyed my life. My fiancé broke up with me after I asked her if I could sell pictures of her feet. I lost my job because I was always distracted by this game. Now I make my living off of Malenia x Ranni r34 commissions in my gamer's basement, and I can't remember what sunlight smells like.
It's no overstatement to say playing Elden Ring is responsible for destroying my life, and without it, I would be in a much happier place. Maybe even with a future at all. The rest of my life decisions and situational factors outside of playing Elden Ring.
I also wanna give a shoutout to the Let Me Solo Her Dude who invaded one of my boss fights and utterly destroyed my hopes of beating Malenia, Blade of Miquella when i finally made to 87.65% of her health on my 836264th attempt! Fuck you dude!
Anyway maybe I'll post some of my art later. I'll be sure to stand in the photo so the attention stays on me instead of Elden Ring. Very important.
Lastly, any of you guys know any Elden Ring food recipes? Maybe I can make a tarnished out of bacon, and a Ranni cake with blue icing.
Anyone else want to share their Elden Ring life stories?