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Most clueless you've ever been to sexual/romantic advances?
- Thread starter Spring-Loaded
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TangerineCloud
Banned
How does that happen?! I just can't picture how this situation played out.
"How many times a day do you masturbate to me?"
"Idk, like three?"
"Okay, cool. See you later."
I dunno, I feel like that'd be a pretty important detail to leave out. He made it sound like it was a normal conversation that could've taken place while they were waiting in the drive-through at a McDonald's or something.
You never been drunk? People blurt out the most stupid stuff. I'm pretty sure thad conversation was not in the mall or something like that.
I think ..
Edit: To contribute, when i was 14 and went on a snowboard camp some girl there was really into me. I think it was the first time a girl liked me because i was terrified and actually not went to a party because i knew she wanted to dance with me. I never kissed a girl or anything like that at that age. I only knew my sweet sweet Nintendo 64.
But thats not really being clueless. It was just dumb.
Nothing really exciting/special/hilarious, but I got so honed into one girl (who ultimately wasn't interested) that I almost was completely oblivious to the fact that her equally fun/cute friend was into me. I realized it before I crashed and burned on both of them.
RurouniZel
Asks questions so Ezalc doesn't have to
This for me, though in honesty I will change several to "4", so a few?
JaseMath
Member
I turned down sex with the girl of my dreams - the most beautiful women I've ever laid eyes on - while in bed with her because I had no idea what she meant when she said, "Are you sure you want to do this?". I just wasn't thinking clearly.
One of my life's regrets. She was absolutely the one that got away. She's a model now...I can't bare to look at her professional photos even though they're readily available on the internet. ;_;
One of my life's regrets. She was absolutely the one that got away. She's a model now...I can't bare to look at her professional photos even though they're readily available on the internet. ;_;
Snkfanatic
Banned
Heh....I have one for you then.
Senior year of high school, I had a few small house parties at my parents place when they would be gone. There were two twin sisters that would come out to hang out with us at the parties all the time. One night it was a smaller get together and one of the sisters came by. She looked at me and in front of everyone said she was sleeping in my room that night. I said to her..."well I will be sleeping in there just so you know..." she said she knew and smiled.
I had been dating someone at the time, but I always had a thing for her this twin. So later on we go back into my room and I close the door. We watched a movie and she layed next to me and chilled. I got up to go to the bathroom and as I stepped out the door my friends were right there, wondering if I had done anything. I had not...as I was kinda serious with my current GF.
Later on in the night she nudged me awake and had a frustrated look to her. Asking me to take her home. I guess she was pretty pissed off that I didn't do anything at all besides hold onto her when she was "scared by the movie". I dropped her off and she was usually very friendly to me and just got out the car and we never really spoke again.
I know this isn't exactly in line with the thread as I knew at one point she wanted to do something but your quote reminded me. I regret this one a lot though, as the GF at the time ended up being a complete waste of time (and lots of it).
commanderpepper
Member
In High School I thought that a girl had a crush on me. It turned out she was only interested in me because her friend had an interest in me. It was really confusing at the time.
mullet2000
Member
I liked this story. Good on you for figuring out that you should stop and stopping. She's lucky you were a thoughtful guy. Hopefully after your talk that night she realized she needs to be able to say no, because there are a lot less perceptive guys out there than you.
Nah, that's the smart thing to do.
I can't laugh man. I simmer with rage, but I could only imagine I would flounder pretty badly too (saw her face in the other thread. gatDANG man)
TangerineCloud
Banned
*checks JasonMCG's post history*
Wow. I.... just wow. Sorry, man. That's all I can say right now. Sorry you fucked that up. Hoo boy...
chicagocubsfan
Member
Yeah I really forget what the conversation was about in the first place, I think one of my friends(a dude) made some kind of joke about masturbation.
Thanks, appreciate it, man
. The irony is, as perceptive as I was that one time, I'm not exactly the perceptive type when it comes to advances. I never realize when I'm being hit on.I don't know what became of her. I mean, we still hung out after that night, I knew she was into this Dutch guy, but she never made a move apparently. I suppose she's back in China now, doing whatever she is.
This all happened while I was doing an exchange year in Japan btw. Had an awesome time there, but couldn't get a girl to go out with me for some reason. There was this girl who rejected me (she wasn't mean about it though), and this woman (5-10 years older than me) who was into me but had a BF. To this day I still get comments from friends that I must suck because everyone they know who went to Japan got a GF in a month or something. Kinda hurts.
PlayALLtheGames
Banned
What perfect timing for this thread. I was just recollecting a story about this very topic.
Back in high school, I was in an elective class with this girl Emma. She definitely fancied me (I was a senior; she a sophomore), although I already had a couple of girls at the time and wasn't interested.
One day she asked me for my advice about a guy. She said there was this dude, who was a little older than her, that she liked him, and that she wanted to offer him a blowjob with no strings attached. She asked what I thought about it.
I told her I'm sure the guy would love it but she'd probably just be used for blowjobs.
It was not until, literally, a decade later when, one afternoon, I thought back to that exchange and realized the guy she was talking about was me.
How that went over my head, I'm really not sure. Thankfully I was getting plenty of ass at the time, so it wasn't a huge miss.
Back in high school, I was in an elective class with this girl Emma. She definitely fancied me (I was a senior; she a sophomore), although I already had a couple of girls at the time and wasn't interested.
One day she asked me for my advice about a guy. She said there was this dude, who was a little older than her, that she liked him, and that she wanted to offer him a blowjob with no strings attached. She asked what I thought about it.
I told her I'm sure the guy would love it but she'd probably just be used for blowjobs.
It was not until, literally, a decade later when, one afternoon, I thought back to that exchange and realized the guy she was talking about was me.
How that went over my head, I'm really not sure. Thankfully I was getting plenty of ass at the time, so it wasn't a huge miss.
All Hail C-Webb
Hailing from the Chill-Web
Time to make everyone feel better:
Was friends with this girl who was in a relationship, they broke up, she needed a place to stay, so she came to room with me while she looked. She borrowed a T-shirt the first day, and would always wear it and just underwear around the house. She'd tell me about guys at work who kept asking her out, but she wasn't interested in them, and that she was able to keep them as friends.
We go to Dinner a few days later, and as we walk back in the door, she randomly says, that was awesome, but I'm too full to fuck now. I get confused, and jump on the computer. A few minutes later she comes up to me wearing just my T and her panties, and tells me that she doesn't understand how some people don't just go after what they want.
I look at her, and say: I always go after what I want, you should try it.
We just stare at each other for a minute, both unsure of what's going on, and then she walks away.
She got back with her ex a week later.
I wanted her.
Edit: Got a High School story too. Cute girls starts the semester really late, and sits across from me in Art. We talk a little, but I don't pay her much attention. Every time I glance over, she's looking at me. A few weeks go by, and the teacher comes up to her, lifts up her work and asks if I think it was an accurate portrayal. She had been making a portrait of me. I jokingly say that she could get an A, but it's easy cause the source material is so great, and go back to ignoring her.
I later find out that she requested that assignment. Still not sure what was going on there.
Was friends with this girl who was in a relationship, they broke up, she needed a place to stay, so she came to room with me while she looked. She borrowed a T-shirt the first day, and would always wear it and just underwear around the house. She'd tell me about guys at work who kept asking her out, but she wasn't interested in them, and that she was able to keep them as friends.
We go to Dinner a few days later, and as we walk back in the door, she randomly says, that was awesome, but I'm too full to fuck now. I get confused, and jump on the computer. A few minutes later she comes up to me wearing just my T and her panties, and tells me that she doesn't understand how some people don't just go after what they want.
I look at her, and say: I always go after what I want, you should try it.
We just stare at each other for a minute, both unsure of what's going on, and then she walks away.
She got back with her ex a week later.
I wanted her.
Edit: Got a High School story too. Cute girls starts the semester really late, and sits across from me in Art. We talk a little, but I don't pay her much attention. Every time I glance over, she's looking at me. A few weeks go by, and the teacher comes up to her, lifts up her work and asks if I think it was an accurate portrayal. She had been making a portrait of me. I jokingly say that she could get an A, but it's easy cause the source material is so great, and go back to ignoring her.
I later find out that she requested that assignment. Still not sure what was going on there.
Al-ibn Kermit
Junior Member
Time to make everyone feel better:
Was friends with this girl who was in a relationship, they broke up, she needed a place to stay, so she came to room with me while she looked. She borrowed a T-shirt the first day, and would always wear it and just underwear around the house. She'd tell me about guys at work who kept asking her out, but she wasn't interested in them, and that she was able to keep them as friends.
We go to Dinner a few days later, and as we walk back in the door, she randomly says, that was awesome, but I'm too full to fuck now. I get confused, and jump on the computer. A few minutes later she comes up to me wearing just my T and her panties, and tells me that she doesn't understand how some people don't just go after what they want.
I look at her, and say: I always go after what I want, you should try it.
We just stare at each other for a minute, both unsure of what's going on, and then she walks away.
She got back with her ex a week later.
I wanted her.
It sounds like you did the right thing (on accident). She didn't have the gumption to get what she wanted.
Jezbollah
Member
So I have a strange story. It's quite TLDR, but here goes. I used to work in London in an IT department of an investment company. Got to know a friend, we'll call her "L". After years of working in the same team, you get to know their family members when they call and you pick up messages for them. I know L's immediate family well, and got along with them famously. I also knew her sister, we'll call her "D".
It was 2010, and L invited me over to hers for a big barbecue and to watch the USA vs England World Cup game. There were other family members and friends over there and we all had a blast after an afternoon of eating/drinking and watching the football into the evening. At the end of the night, we chilled out for more drinks and around midnight we tried calling taxis to go home. A really, really bad idea on a night when England were playing their first game in the World Cup (huuuge event here).
So we spent ages trying to get through to a taxi company to try and get home. In the end, the only taxi we could get would only get us as far as D's house (between this place I was at, and my apartment). So we thought the best thing to do would get that cab, at least I'd be halfway home. D, her husband and I got back to their place and immediately her husband went out to walk their dog. Now, you need to know that this is now about 1-2am in the morning and it's the kind of weather that's warm in day, but it was fucking cold at night. I am quite drunk, cold (didnt take a jacket), a bit pissed off at the result of the football and just want to get home.
D's husband spend a fucking long time just walking the dog in the cold - and while I am in their house with D, she starts to seriously start to make moves on me. While I am spending ages trying to get a taxi, she is being so unsubtle about wanting to fuck my brains out. The thing is, I'm oblivious to it as my mind is elsewhere. Even if I wasnt, I'd be hesitant as her husband could walk in at any moment. Eventually, I give up on the taxi and realise what she's doing. I'm a bit concerned now, cos I'm still quite inebriated and using the old "I dont want to trouble you any more than I have done", I leave and try my luck hailing down a cab in a neighbourhood away from any major roads and pubs etc. Eventually, I find a cab and I get home.
The next morning I tried to piece the puzzle - and I'm convinced that her husband used the "taking the dog for a walk" excuse to get out of there to let D have a crack at getting me to fuck her - in some kind of cuckold thing. It was blatant - him spending so much time out in the cold letting the dog take a shit or something, and the timing of her starting to make the assault on my pants - and the thing is if I didn't have my mind so much on trying to get a cab home I probably would have been in major cock related trouble. I dont know if that is what you can call clueless to an advance or being distracted, but the thought of some husband watching as I fucked a woman creeps me the fuck out. Got out of jail on this episode.
It was 2010, and L invited me over to hers for a big barbecue and to watch the USA vs England World Cup game. There were other family members and friends over there and we all had a blast after an afternoon of eating/drinking and watching the football into the evening. At the end of the night, we chilled out for more drinks and around midnight we tried calling taxis to go home. A really, really bad idea on a night when England were playing their first game in the World Cup (huuuge event here).
So we spent ages trying to get through to a taxi company to try and get home. In the end, the only taxi we could get would only get us as far as D's house (between this place I was at, and my apartment). So we thought the best thing to do would get that cab, at least I'd be halfway home. D, her husband and I got back to their place and immediately her husband went out to walk their dog. Now, you need to know that this is now about 1-2am in the morning and it's the kind of weather that's warm in day, but it was fucking cold at night. I am quite drunk, cold (didnt take a jacket), a bit pissed off at the result of the football and just want to get home.
D's husband spend a fucking long time just walking the dog in the cold - and while I am in their house with D, she starts to seriously start to make moves on me. While I am spending ages trying to get a taxi, she is being so unsubtle about wanting to fuck my brains out. The thing is, I'm oblivious to it as my mind is elsewhere. Even if I wasnt, I'd be hesitant as her husband could walk in at any moment. Eventually, I give up on the taxi and realise what she's doing. I'm a bit concerned now, cos I'm still quite inebriated and using the old "I dont want to trouble you any more than I have done", I leave and try my luck hailing down a cab in a neighbourhood away from any major roads and pubs etc. Eventually, I find a cab and I get home.
The next morning I tried to piece the puzzle - and I'm convinced that her husband used the "taking the dog for a walk" excuse to get out of there to let D have a crack at getting me to fuck her - in some kind of cuckold thing. It was blatant - him spending so much time out in the cold letting the dog take a shit or something, and the timing of her starting to make the assault on my pants - and the thing is if I didn't have my mind so much on trying to get a cab home I probably would have been in major cock related trouble. I dont know if that is what you can call clueless to an advance or being distracted, but the thought of some husband watching as I fucked a woman creeps me the fuck out. Got out of jail on this episode.
Terrible Majesty
Member
It was college graduation night and my fellow student asked me to come with her to her apartment to pick up something. She looked something like a brown haired Nicole Kidman. I went with her and she brought me to her room. We sat on her bed and she showed me pics of her ex-boyfriend. She told me "You I remind her of him. We were together for over 8 years and he didnt know if he wanted to marry me." I felt intimidated by their long history together. I mean how do you compete with that? The conversation then ended and we decided to go back to the restaurant where the party was.
TangerineCloud
Banned
I dunno, I think he heavily implied (unintentionally) that he was not interested with that "I always go for what I want..." line. If I heard that from a lady, I'd give up and consider her to be a lost cause.
FutureZombie
Banned
I had a huge crush on this girl in junior high. We rode the same bus and she would take pictures of me and said I was cute. She asked where I played basketball after school and walked by there the next day. AND I WAS STILL TOO CLUELESS TO THINK SHE LIKED ME.
And I've seen a picture of her recently...she's hot.
And I've seen a picture of her recently...she's hot.
This thread has provided some funny times over the last few days, so I will share my most overtly pathetic totally oblivious ones:
Was smokin' some chong at a friend's place, one of our occasional friends had brought his sister around since she was in town. She was pretty tall, attractive in a weirdish way, had a really long nose. I was pretty clueless in general at this point, just assumed that nobody would actually make advances toward me since we were all together as friends out in public. We all went to the bar and started playing some darts, she was kinda standing around behind me and trying to mess me up in a playful way by sorta dragging her fingernails lightly over my side, I thought it was weird but we were all pretty ripped so whatever, got our laugh. After we left the bar on the walk back down the street to our friend's place again she grabbed my hand and held it up against her, kinda started leaning in, telling me oh you smell good, oh you are so cute, but I am like we are going to my friend's house and your brother is literally right here lady. Meanwhile my friends are kinda lookin' back, shaking their heads and laughing, like look at him getting this without even trying at all. So we get back and have another smoke and she is basically sitting on top of me, is leaned over with her head in my lap, rubbing my leg, like as the five or six of us all sit around in this room, then as time starts to run out and her brother needs to get going soon to work the next day (and he's her ride) she puts things into overdrive, she is sitting on top of me actually then says "I just wanted to do this before I go" and leans in and starts smoochin' me all over my face and neck. I am basically paralyzed by her brother standing there watching us and my close friends (and roommate) standing around watching the entire show unfold so I don't ask her back to our place (which is less than a block away). My friends had a pretty big laugh about all of that, I don't think I ever saw the brother again since he got in some big crazy fight with my roommate and never came around anymore. Looking back even though it was a sure thing it might just have been weird enough that I would have gotten even more shit about it forever so it mighta been the right call.
The other one was basically a tragic story at first, the same roommate had brought this girl he knew as a friend of a coworker along for happy hour, he had to step away from our table for a while and we just hit it off, conversationally, had the most perfectly matching sense of humor, just felt this perfect connection with her. We ended up later on back in that same darts place from before, and I was talking with her and her roommate, I am just drunk enough to start to apparently sound kind of profound, we talk about our life philosophies and all this "oh we should experience the things we can while the opportunities are there" stuff, she is kinda touching my arm and looking at me with those eyes but I just figure we are firing on all cylinders sure, we end up finishing the night and her and her roommate and me and mine head home. He tells me later on the next day that she had messaged him all being like "i thought i was gonna be taking your roommate's clothes off, what the heck" and I honestly was just totally shocked, I had no idea that was going on at all. But later on I brought it up to her and she was like yeah duh and I was like oh shit and she ended up being super forward about it so I also was able to reciprocate which turned that almost sad story into an interesting one over the next couple weeks.
yep
Was smokin' some chong at a friend's place, one of our occasional friends had brought his sister around since she was in town. She was pretty tall, attractive in a weirdish way, had a really long nose. I was pretty clueless in general at this point, just assumed that nobody would actually make advances toward me since we were all together as friends out in public. We all went to the bar and started playing some darts, she was kinda standing around behind me and trying to mess me up in a playful way by sorta dragging her fingernails lightly over my side, I thought it was weird but we were all pretty ripped so whatever, got our laugh. After we left the bar on the walk back down the street to our friend's place again she grabbed my hand and held it up against her, kinda started leaning in, telling me oh you smell good, oh you are so cute, but I am like we are going to my friend's house and your brother is literally right here lady. Meanwhile my friends are kinda lookin' back, shaking their heads and laughing, like look at him getting this without even trying at all. So we get back and have another smoke and she is basically sitting on top of me, is leaned over with her head in my lap, rubbing my leg, like as the five or six of us all sit around in this room, then as time starts to run out and her brother needs to get going soon to work the next day (and he's her ride) she puts things into overdrive, she is sitting on top of me actually then says "I just wanted to do this before I go" and leans in and starts smoochin' me all over my face and neck. I am basically paralyzed by her brother standing there watching us and my close friends (and roommate) standing around watching the entire show unfold so I don't ask her back to our place (which is less than a block away). My friends had a pretty big laugh about all of that, I don't think I ever saw the brother again since he got in some big crazy fight with my roommate and never came around anymore. Looking back even though it was a sure thing it might just have been weird enough that I would have gotten even more shit about it forever so it mighta been the right call.
The other one was basically a tragic story at first, the same roommate had brought this girl he knew as a friend of a coworker along for happy hour, he had to step away from our table for a while and we just hit it off, conversationally, had the most perfectly matching sense of humor, just felt this perfect connection with her. We ended up later on back in that same darts place from before, and I was talking with her and her roommate, I am just drunk enough to start to apparently sound kind of profound, we talk about our life philosophies and all this "oh we should experience the things we can while the opportunities are there" stuff, she is kinda touching my arm and looking at me with those eyes but I just figure we are firing on all cylinders sure, we end up finishing the night and her and her roommate and me and mine head home. He tells me later on the next day that she had messaged him all being like "i thought i was gonna be taking your roommate's clothes off, what the heck" and I honestly was just totally shocked, I had no idea that was going on at all. But later on I brought it up to her and she was like yeah duh and I was like oh shit and she ended up being super forward about it so I also was able to reciprocate which turned that almost sad story into an interesting one over the next couple weeks.
yep
Time to make everyone feel better:
Was friends with this girl who was in a relationship, they broke up, she needed a place to stay, so she came to room with me while she looked. She borrowed a T-shirt the first day, and would always wear it and just underwear around the house. She'd tell me about guys at work who kept asking her out, but she wasn't interested in them, and that she was able to keep them as friends.
We go to Dinner a few days later, and as we walk back in the door, she randomly says, that was awesome, but I'm too full to fuck now. I get confused, and jump on the computer. A few minutes later she comes up to me wearing just my T and her panties, and tells me that she doesn't understand how some people don't just go after what they want.
I look at her, and say: I always go after what I want, you should try it.
We just stare at each other for a minute, both unsure of what's going on, and then she walks away.
She got back with her ex a week later.
I wanted her.
Dammit man, that actually hurt.
Oh god i actually forgot the biggest mistake i ever made was being a clueless one as well!
It was a couple of months after i broke up with my gf of 4.5 years. So was not really in the game and had no idea really what to do.
Got to know a extremely cute Polish girl that was here on erasmus(where they come to study in our country for a couple of months) and well, we got along pretty wel, talked for a good while and i got her FB.
The next days or so on advice from my friends i gave her my number and told her if she wanted to have a drink she should let me know. A couple of days later in the evening i got a text and we meet up. We got a good buzz going on till early in the morning. I should have read the signs as it was cold she kept rubbing her hands on mine for like a couple of minutes. And when we talked in the loud bar she "accidentally" let her lips touch my ear. Now anyway that does not say all that much. By the time everything starts to close i got pretty wasted. She told me she had some beers on her appartment where she's sleeping.
I say well sure! Now the thing of me being clueless is was because i knew she had an "open relationship" with a guy back in Poland. Well on the way home we talk about that and she blatantly told me that it would be okay if she had sex with another guy here.
So yeah, we arrive at her appartment, sit on the bed together and watch a movie on her laptop. I actually thought she just wanted a beer and watch a damn movie, i didnt even make a move even thoug she pushed herself against me. Eventually i started falling asleep because it was a shitty movie.
Never saw her again after that night even though i tried. I would be more okay with it if she wasnt extremely cute.
It was a couple of months after i broke up with my gf of 4.5 years. So was not really in the game and had no idea really what to do.
Got to know a extremely cute Polish girl that was here on erasmus(where they come to study in our country for a couple of months) and well, we got along pretty wel, talked for a good while and i got her FB.
The next days or so on advice from my friends i gave her my number and told her if she wanted to have a drink she should let me know. A couple of days later in the evening i got a text and we meet up. We got a good buzz going on till early in the morning. I should have read the signs as it was cold she kept rubbing her hands on mine for like a couple of minutes. And when we talked in the loud bar she "accidentally" let her lips touch my ear. Now anyway that does not say all that much. By the time everything starts to close i got pretty wasted. She told me she had some beers on her appartment where she's sleeping.
I say well sure! Now the thing of me being clueless is was because i knew she had an "open relationship" with a guy back in Poland. Well on the way home we talk about that and she blatantly told me that it would be okay if she had sex with another guy here.
So yeah, we arrive at her appartment, sit on the bed together and watch a movie on her laptop. I actually thought she just wanted a beer and watch a damn movie, i didnt even make a move even thoug she pushed herself against me. Eventually i started falling asleep because it was a shitty movie.
Never saw her again after that night even though i tried. I would be more okay with it if she wasnt extremely cute.
My HS crush would always make comments like, "you should come over and we should have sex". Once when I ran into her out of school she grabbed my crotch through my shorts.
I always assumed she was teasing me and I didn't want to go along with it and be let down. For the next couple of years after high school, I did actually make some attempts with her but nothing ever happened...so maybe she was teasing me the whole time.
But God. My entire bar life could be summed up as "clueless". When I was in the zone, I could hit on most girls in the bar...ones that were 9s and 10s and I'd have been too scared to look at otherwise. But for some reason, I could never close. Ever.
Ok, so maybe "bad" and not "clueless".
I always assumed she was teasing me and I didn't want to go along with it and be let down. For the next couple of years after high school, I did actually make some attempts with her but nothing ever happened...so maybe she was teasing me the whole time.
But God. My entire bar life could be summed up as "clueless". When I was in the zone, I could hit on most girls in the bar...ones that were 9s and 10s and I'd have been too scared to look at otherwise. But for some reason, I could never close. Ever.
Ok, so maybe "bad" and not "clueless".
talisayNon
Member
Was never clueless about advances but just never did anything cause I was in a relationship at the time/the chick was ugly. Most of the time it was latter. I don't know how people fail to pick up on girls hitting on them that shit is pretty obvious
There was one girl this year who I'm fairly sure was trying to pull something in my Photo class. She's a friend of mine, but we don't really talk all that much. Never did outside of class.
First time I noticed her sitting relatively close to me (we weren't really touching or anything though) I just figured she didn't notice or was being friendly. After misreading stuff with two different people just a few months prior, I was really paranoid about over-thinking stuff and just shrugged it off. Besides, sitting near someone really isn't that big a deal.
Then one day during the lesson, we're both bored as hell when I feel something bump into the side of my butt. I look over to her, and she just glances at me then back at the board. Weird... but maybe it was an accident. probably not, but it's not worth overthinking. A few seconds later she bumps her butt into mine again. Commence bumping butts during class.
She was really cute, but I wasn't really interested in a relationship with her. She's only 15, for one (and before you make assumptions, I'm only 17), and though I have fun talking to her, we don't have many common interests and I don't think it'd have worked.
That, and she was already cheating on her boyfriend with some other guy.
That being said I'm not one to turn down at least the minor opportunities. There was one time when she wanted to draw something on my hand with a marker, and set my hand on her bare leg (short shorts) to steady it. I did the same with her hand. Other times I'd just put my arm around or poke her cheeks or something, and she'd sit really close (by the end of the year we'd have our legs literally on top of each other's just about every day) or whatever.
Was kind of hoping for a kiss but I got a girlfriend before I did (though it's extremely long distance and I still haven't kissed a girl yet as a result) so I didn't think it felt right. Probably never going to see that girl again since I'm starting college now.
Not really something I regret, it was fun while it lasted and now I've got something I'm actually taking seriously. She was a nice girl though.
Edit - Oh, there was one girl I was completely oblivious to though in 9th grade. We talked a lot online about really random things, and I guess she dropped hints here and there. First time she sent a "<3" but then told me it was her brother messing with her PC (I was an idiot and really scared of getting into a relationship so I just said "less than three"). Second she posted on FB about guys being extremely oblivious. Whoops. I was suspicious, but I was religious at the time and Islam forbids dating so I was just delaying the inevitable as long as I could.
She told me she liked me later, but I had to turn her down because of religion. I actually liked her, too. By the time I became agnostic my chance was up. Don't really regret it though, she wasn't really my type and I doubt it'd have worked.
First time I noticed her sitting relatively close to me (we weren't really touching or anything though) I just figured she didn't notice or was being friendly. After misreading stuff with two different people just a few months prior, I was really paranoid about over-thinking stuff and just shrugged it off. Besides, sitting near someone really isn't that big a deal.
Then one day during the lesson, we're both bored as hell when I feel something bump into the side of my butt. I look over to her, and she just glances at me then back at the board. Weird... but maybe it was an accident. probably not, but it's not worth overthinking. A few seconds later she bumps her butt into mine again. Commence bumping butts during class.
She was really cute, but I wasn't really interested in a relationship with her. She's only 15, for one (and before you make assumptions, I'm only 17), and though I have fun talking to her, we don't have many common interests and I don't think it'd have worked.
That, and she was already cheating on her boyfriend with some other guy.
That being said I'm not one to turn down at least the minor opportunities. There was one time when she wanted to draw something on my hand with a marker, and set my hand on her bare leg (short shorts) to steady it. I did the same with her hand. Other times I'd just put my arm around or poke her cheeks or something, and she'd sit really close (by the end of the year we'd have our legs literally on top of each other's just about every day) or whatever.
Was kind of hoping for a kiss but I got a girlfriend before I did (though it's extremely long distance and I still haven't kissed a girl yet as a result) so I didn't think it felt right. Probably never going to see that girl again since I'm starting college now.
Not really something I regret, it was fun while it lasted and now I've got something I'm actually taking seriously. She was a nice girl though.
Edit - Oh, there was one girl I was completely oblivious to though in 9th grade. We talked a lot online about really random things, and I guess she dropped hints here and there. First time she sent a "<3" but then told me it was her brother messing with her PC (I was an idiot and really scared of getting into a relationship so I just said "less than three"). Second she posted on FB about guys being extremely oblivious. Whoops. I was suspicious, but I was religious at the time and Islam forbids dating so I was just delaying the inevitable as long as I could.
She told me she liked me later, but I had to turn her down because of religion. I actually liked her, too. By the time I became agnostic my chance was up. Don't really regret it though, she wasn't really my type and I doubt it'd have worked.
talisayNon
Member
Fuck it I'll share stories.
There was one time I knew this girl liked me and I was drunk and she was online on aim. Having no one to talk to I messaged her and flirted with her for a bit. Got to the point where she asked me if I could come over and help her "open her stapler" rofl. At that point I started cracking up and decided to hit the bed. I showed my sister the Im that morning and she got mad that I strung the poor girl along.
The other time was a dance partner in college. She had a nice body but really a below average face. I would pretend to grind on her at various times through rehearsal and that made her horny. She knew I had a girlfriend. So one night when I was back home from rehearsal and she calls me up real late...like2 in the morning. She tells me that there was a "ghost" on her floor and that i should come over and protect her and was all giggly and stuff talking about how big her breasts were. Kind of got me turned on, but I wasn't drunk and again I had a girlfriend so nothing ended up happening. Thank god.
There was one time I knew this girl liked me and I was drunk and she was online on aim. Having no one to talk to I messaged her and flirted with her for a bit. Got to the point where she asked me if I could come over and help her "open her stapler" rofl. At that point I started cracking up and decided to hit the bed. I showed my sister the Im that morning and she got mad that I strung the poor girl along.
The other time was a dance partner in college. She had a nice body but really a below average face. I would pretend to grind on her at various times through rehearsal and that made her horny. She knew I had a girlfriend. So one night when I was back home from rehearsal and she calls me up real late...like2 in the morning. She tells me that there was a "ghost" on her floor and that i should come over and protect her and was all giggly and stuff talking about how big her breasts were. Kind of got me turned on, but I wasn't drunk and again I had a girlfriend so nothing ended up happening. Thank god.
wat
The Horror the horror
Banned
I have a few:
High school: A girl that had always looked at me opted to not only ride the same bus as me out of the blue one day and not only got off the same stop as me, but she also walked home with me and I never pulled the trigger. She was gorgeous, too.
College: Girl and I used to talk on the phone as buddies, and being a movie buff I would talk about recent releases with her. Every time I told her about a movie I'd want to see, she would tell me that the movie close to her house was running the film or that the tickets over there were cheaper, and how we could go to her place afterwards to talk about the movie. Again, she was good looking and again, I didn't pull the trigger.
Just some examples. I don't feel like mentioning the others, because I think the point is clear.
I tell myself that things could have gotten worse for me with those chics, and that I might have gotten them pregnant and ruined my life, but that's all BS. I screwed up. These events basically scarred me to the point where I translate all gestures of friendship as sexual hints, and most of the time it blows up in my face.
High school: A girl that had always looked at me opted to not only ride the same bus as me out of the blue one day and not only got off the same stop as me, but she also walked home with me and I never pulled the trigger. She was gorgeous, too.
College: Girl and I used to talk on the phone as buddies, and being a movie buff I would talk about recent releases with her. Every time I told her about a movie I'd want to see, she would tell me that the movie close to her house was running the film or that the tickets over there were cheaper, and how we could go to her place afterwards to talk about the movie. Again, she was good looking and again, I didn't pull the trigger.
Just some examples. I don't feel like mentioning the others, because I think the point is clear.
I tell myself that things could have gotten worse for me with those chics, and that I might have gotten them pregnant and ruined my life, but that's all BS. I screwed up. These events basically scarred me to the point where I translate all gestures of friendship as sexual hints, and most of the time it blows up in my face.
Dance Inferno
Unconfirmed Member
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NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Any new stories?
Apparently according to my friends, I constantly flirt with girls without realizing it and realizing that they might like me.
Huh.
Apparently according to my friends, I constantly flirt with girls without realizing it and realizing that they might like me.
Huh.
PeskyToaster
Member
Nicole Kidman was in my apartment but I just wanted to play games and eat old Chinese food.
Goddamn it Jimmy.
During like freshman year in high school I was still oblivious to everything. We went to Six Flags as a reward for this one club and I had this Filipina girl all up on my shit. She was holding my hand, asking me to give her like piggy back rides, trying to share drinks, food. My dumb ass was too busy freaking out over how fantastic the rollercoasters were since I'd never been to a themepark and she thought I was straight stonewalling her so she gave up.
Felt like a dummy when she told me about how she was crushing on me that year during senior year when we were about to leave and shit in class. Damn.
Felt like a dummy when she told me about how she was crushing on me that year during senior year when we were about to leave and shit in class. Damn.
GillianSeed79
Member
The girl I have been dating for close to a year now and whom I plan to marry was best friends with me back in high school. We lost touch for several years after high school, but started dating last year. Basically we both were in love with each other back in high school but neither of us had the courage to tell each other. She told me recently that she had actually planned to lose her virginity to me and actually talked to her best friend about it. She actually planned it for one day when were going to study together at my house. We did make out but I didn't take it past like second base because I was too timid. Not only did she not lose her virginity to me, she said told me that it really confused her and made her think I wasn't really into her. Oh boy was I clueless. Thank God we met back up.
There have been so many, I'm not sure I could pick just one.
There was that one time in Drama Club after school, I threatened to haul off and kiss a girl, thinking she'd be all like, "Ew, gross!" Like girls always were about me pretty much all the time.
Instead she goes, "Well, maybe I'd let you." And then gives me bedroom eyes.
To which I did...nothing.
Or that time when after a date (again in high school...I was a fucking idiot in HS) a girl brings me back to her house where she knew her mom and older sister were going to be at the prom (mom as chaperone) all night. We're sitting on her couch watching some shitty movie, alone. She keeps looking at me and smiling and I keep looking back and smiling back, not sure why she keeps doing that. A half hour later I go, "Whelp, its gettin' pretty late. I guess I should walk home."
She goes, "What?! Are you sure?"
And I say, "Oh, it's no big deal. I'll see you later." And I walk right out that front door.
And then in college, there was a girl who was literally a professional model who filled out one of those dumb quizzes about friends you posted on your friends' Myspace pages back when that was a thing. She did her's for me and one of the questions was, "Would you date this person if they asked?" To which she had put "Yes". No fucking ambiguity there! Wasn't "Maybe" or "If he asked right" or whatever. Just "Yes." All I had to do was go, "Well, you wanna do that?" But no. Instead I did nothing. Brilliant.
God, I am such a moron. It's like I'm allergic to pretty blondes or something.
There was that one time in Drama Club after school, I threatened to haul off and kiss a girl, thinking she'd be all like, "Ew, gross!" Like girls always were about me pretty much all the time.
Instead she goes, "Well, maybe I'd let you." And then gives me bedroom eyes.
To which I did...nothing.
Or that time when after a date (again in high school...I was a fucking idiot in HS) a girl brings me back to her house where she knew her mom and older sister were going to be at the prom (mom as chaperone) all night. We're sitting on her couch watching some shitty movie, alone. She keeps looking at me and smiling and I keep looking back and smiling back, not sure why she keeps doing that. A half hour later I go, "Whelp, its gettin' pretty late. I guess I should walk home."
She goes, "What?! Are you sure?"
And I say, "Oh, it's no big deal. I'll see you later." And I walk right out that front door.
And then in college, there was a girl who was literally a professional model who filled out one of those dumb quizzes about friends you posted on your friends' Myspace pages back when that was a thing. She did her's for me and one of the questions was, "Would you date this person if they asked?" To which she had put "Yes". No fucking ambiguity there! Wasn't "Maybe" or "If he asked right" or whatever. Just "Yes." All I had to do was go, "Well, you wanna do that?" But no. Instead I did nothing. Brilliant.
God, I am such a moron. It's like I'm allergic to pretty blondes or something.
DiddysKongQuest
Member
I was 20 and had my first date ever with a girl I met on the Internet. After we texted for a while she asked me out. Our first date went really well and she even insisted on paying for the cinema.
Two days later she wanted to see me again. We met at my place and I sort of made a big thing out of it and invited all of my friends to a Borat drinking game. We sat together on my bed and held hands. After the drinking we went outside to a nearby bench. Then she suddenly sat on my lap and started jumping up and down. Later that night, after everyone left, we were alone in my bed. She started kissing and touching me and I simply said: Im too tired, lets sleep.
I never saw her again and I feel stupid for not doing anything, but I never kissed a girl before and was just waaaay to nervous and unexperienced.
Two days later she wanted to see me again. We met at my place and I sort of made a big thing out of it and invited all of my friends to a Borat drinking game. We sat together on my bed and held hands. After the drinking we went outside to a nearby bench. Then she suddenly sat on my lap and started jumping up and down. Later that night, after everyone left, we were alone in my bed. She started kissing and touching me and I simply said: Im too tired, lets sleep.
The day after date was also really fucking stupid: we went to McDonalds and I jokingly asked my friend if would like to join us afterwards. He actually said yes and the three of us watched the Lion King. She got (understandably) more and more annoyed that there was a third person in the room and left after the movie.
I never saw her again and I feel stupid for not doing anything, but I never kissed a girl before and was just waaaay to nervous and unexperienced.
I think this video from the Tonight Show qualifies and wins by a mile.
Aaron-Lagann
Banned
This happens to me all the time. My version of small talk is apparently pretty flirty.
Fun-Story: My brother's wife's mother came on to me not realizing who I was. It was pretty awkward and I still am not sure if she knows.
A girl I liked invited me to her house to hang out and we just sat in her living room watching TV and talking. When it was time for me to leave she straight-up told me: "You know...I asked you to come over so we could make out."
But I really had to leave since it was late and we weren't alone anymore (her room mate was home) so nothing happened that day. I was too surprised to even kiss her good-bye.
It's weird how these situations happen. I tend to accidentally "reject" advances but get zero feedback from the girl (unlike in the above situation) so I'm usually clueless until it's too late.
But I really had to leave since it was late and we weren't alone anymore (her room mate was home) so nothing happened that day. I was too surprised to even kiss her good-bye.
We hooked up a few weeks later though, so it turned out okay.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
I think I've share this story with GAF before, but it's so bad it bears repeating:
In school I had a habit of leaning forward on my desk, with my arms below and my shoulder pressed on the edge of the desk. In my freshman English class, I realized that sometimes I couldn't see the board, so I got glasses. The first day, I noticed this girl name Jizelle staring at me. The new glasses had already gotten me some stares from surprised people who weren't used to me wearing them, so I figured it was just more of that.
Jizelle and I were both kids that weren't loud and didn't disrupt other people, so as teachers do, our teacher often had us in the same area of the class room. Towards the end of the year, Jizelle sat right behind me. One day, there wasn't really much work to be done, and this English teacher was a rather Bohemian hippy kid of lady, and when that was the case, she'd just let us all fuck off in class. So Jizelle was sitting up on her desk, talking to the girl behind her, and I was talking to someone in the next row, leaning on the desk with my shoulders.
After a while though, Jizelle scooted back to the front of her desk and laid on top of me. Then she said "Oooh Rest, you're so warm." At the time, I just thought she was being a jerk and invading my personal space, and maybe trying to exert social dominance with a physical display.
It was years before I realized what had happened.
In school I had a habit of leaning forward on my desk, with my arms below and my shoulder pressed on the edge of the desk. In my freshman English class, I realized that sometimes I couldn't see the board, so I got glasses. The first day, I noticed this girl name Jizelle staring at me. The new glasses had already gotten me some stares from surprised people who weren't used to me wearing them, so I figured it was just more of that.
Jizelle and I were both kids that weren't loud and didn't disrupt other people, so as teachers do, our teacher often had us in the same area of the class room. Towards the end of the year, Jizelle sat right behind me. One day, there wasn't really much work to be done, and this English teacher was a rather Bohemian hippy kid of lady, and when that was the case, she'd just let us all fuck off in class. So Jizelle was sitting up on her desk, talking to the girl behind her, and I was talking to someone in the next row, leaning on the desk with my shoulders.
After a while though, Jizelle scooted back to the front of her desk and laid on top of me. Then she said "Oooh Rest, you're so warm." At the time, I just thought she was being a jerk and invading my personal space, and maybe trying to exert social dominance with a physical display.
It was years before I realized what had happened.
Wings 嫩翼翻せ
so it's not nice
Had a girl once break up with her boyfriend right in front of me, and ask if she could sleep in my bed to be comforted that same night... and I didn't catch on.
At a volunteer trip I went on, a girl did everything to be in my specific group (and even her friends helped her), we talked for a long while after, complimented me a lot and shit, and I didn't get it until I stopped talking to her like that and her friends told me.
I'm a dumbass lmao. I just tell girls to be straightforward with me because I never catch on to shit.
EDIT: Here's a good one.
I was at the beach with a few friends. We planned the trip last summer, and it was quite a large pack of us (maybe around 15) to spend a week down at the shore. One of the girls there was apparently in to me for a long while, and whenever it was night time, she would invite me over when her friends were sleeping to chill on the balcony so we'd be alone, watch the sunset, etc. No big deal. I go, and she is obviously making moves on me, cuddling with me, touching me, calling me sweet names, all that shit. Even when we were all together during the day she'd playfully hold my hand and make me give her piggy back rides. I didn't think much of it. We did this basically the whole week until she literally put her face to mine and said "just kiss me you dumbass" and we made out. Was really sad that this happened for like 6 straight days and I did and thought of it as nothing.
At a volunteer trip I went on, a girl did everything to be in my specific group (and even her friends helped her), we talked for a long while after, complimented me a lot and shit, and I didn't get it until I stopped talking to her like that and her friends told me.
I'm a dumbass lmao. I just tell girls to be straightforward with me because I never catch on to shit.
EDIT: Here's a good one.
I was at the beach with a few friends. We planned the trip last summer, and it was quite a large pack of us (maybe around 15) to spend a week down at the shore. One of the girls there was apparently in to me for a long while, and whenever it was night time, she would invite me over when her friends were sleeping to chill on the balcony so we'd be alone, watch the sunset, etc. No big deal. I go, and she is obviously making moves on me, cuddling with me, touching me, calling me sweet names, all that shit. Even when we were all together during the day she'd playfully hold my hand and make me give her piggy back rides. I didn't think much of it. We did this basically the whole week until she literally put her face to mine and said "just kiss me you dumbass" and we made out. Was really sad that this happened for like 6 straight days and I did and thought of it as nothing.
PlayALLtheGames
Banned
Back in high school there was a girl with whom I had a class. We were friends, talked a lot; people made fun of us for always flirting even though I was that way with any girl. One day she wanted my advice, said she needed to me ask me about "this guy" she liked. She was planning on telling him that she wanted to give him a blowjob, no strings attached. I don't remember her reasoning; I assume she figured that would lead to sex which would be good for her as well, even if it didn't end in anything more. Anyway, point being: the guy was me. I was never really interested in her that way so it wasn't a big deal, but, hey, could have gotten an easy BJ.
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