Grade A Sex Two Child-like Adults
The absolute best sex occurs between two child-like adults, plain and simple. By child-like, Im not talking about immature dysfunctional idiots who cant hold a job or who like to pass their days as full time drug addicts. People like this are actually crummy at sex because they lack the intellectual prowess to be creative. Im talking about men and women who can shed their grown up veneer along with their clothes and leave all the grim concerns of adult life locked outside the bedroom door each and every time they fuck. This is a tall order for a lot of people, especially those whove stocked up on responsibilities in every aspect of their life only to find theyve become joy disabled by all their self- imposed lifestyle burdens. Emotionally open-minded... not afraid to be different or engage in silly role play now and then... can cut loose and get stoned, share a hot bath and a bottle of wine, make homemade porno videos with you, etc. In terms measured by her lack of inhibition and willingness to experiment, sex is important! You might be thinking, who the hell doesnt think sex is important?. Look around you... a lot of people give other bullshit in their life far more priority than their sexual experience. Most have secretly embraced their anti-erotic life philosophy as a choice because some aspect of human sexuality distresses them. Too busy, too much other important shit going on, too tired, etc. All excuses. These individuals were frightened at some point in their past by some aspect of human sexuality, and their prudish attitude now serves as a means of managing the perceived danger that sex still holds for them. Its what psychologists call a coping strategy. If you enjoy something and its important to you, youll find a way to do it. Whereas if something scares you then youll develop strategies to avoid that. This is essentially what you are dealing with. Most of the time it has nothing to do with biology or hormones or any of that shit, its mental. M. Pilinski
BUT, I fear with the situation you are in right now, she takes all her problems into the bedroom.
This can snuff out the passion real fast when two people assume these dissimilar roles where one begins to feel responsible (almost like a parent) for the other one. Not in a healthy, concerned way, but in a way that is patronizing to the point of possibly being condescending. The more adventurous adult will chaff under the weight of the more serious, increasingly non-sexual partner and either cheat or do something else to finally destroy the relationship. A lot of married people find themselves locked in this sort of Mexican standoff. Some learn to accept this situation because it probably seems better than loneliness but I say that if youre not having regular, enjoyable sex with someone that youre living with then youre already alone. M. Pilinski