Right. I've come across a lot of guys who think that they prove their intelligence to a woman (and even to other guys) by ranting about something they're super knowledgeable about without any consideration for whether or not it's actually going to be interesting to another person. Being "intelligent" in dating terms just means not being an idiot who's never had a lucid thought. And I think a lot of guys miss that point.
All these personality traits are overanalyzed. The bottom line is to be fun, interesting, and have a good time. No one wants to spend time with a person who feels like a chore. If someone's experience with you is fun and enjoyable they'll want to spend more time with you. I think it would serve guys (and women, too) well to remember that you don't need to worry about seeming impressive as much as you need to focus on making sure the person you're with is enjoying themselves. That's the classic mistake made by guys who ramble about their boring job at a law firm as if having a good-paying job is a substitute for a personality. If you're a naturally boring person whose idea of a conversation is to ask someone a litany of questions about themselves until you've exhausted their life story, it may be worth reading some self-help articles on carrying conversation. Just because you can keep someone talking, or keep talking yourself, doesn't mean a good conversation is happening. That's lost on a lot of guys too.
The point of a conversation
isn't just to ask questions and exchange opinions, it's to share your feelings and vulnerabilities too, which you would think a lot of guys are incapable of at times. Every guy who carries a conversation with a girl by asking her where she's from, followed by where she went to school, followed by where she lives now, followed by what she does for a living is doing it completely wrong. It's not a damn job interview, it's supposed to be fun, and your attempts at keeping her talking are a poor mask for the fact that you're either insecure about your own life and would rather not discuss it or are paralyzed by the idea of sharing with a near-stranger the things that inspire you, scare you, motivate you, etc. A conversation isn't a data transfer of facts or even opinions, but ideally of feelings and vulnerabilities.
Also, I'm not targeting you specifically, to be clear. Just kind of throwing suggestions out in general.
5'9. I've legit heard girls I know say guys under 6 feet aren't appealing. I nearly yelled at one of them who said guys under 6'2 need to hit the gym and get taller. Like what the fuck.
