carbonbased
Member
Mike Works said:
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Why are guys so stingy?
- Thread starter Waychel
- Start date
McLesterolBeast
Member
You want a simple answer? You aren't worth $10.
@ Waychel
Has your boyfriend never bought you anything before? Have you ever bought him something for that matter? It sounds like you are jumping to conclusions too quickly by calling him stingy and then extending that assertion to all guys/men. It is especially perplexing as to why you would accuse all guys/men of being stingy when you mentioned in your story how your friend's boyfriend (who I can only assume is also a guy) spends money freely on her. No, I don't understand this at all.
Has your boyfriend never bought you anything before? Have you ever bought him something for that matter? It sounds like you are jumping to conclusions too quickly by calling him stingy and then extending that assertion to all guys/men. It is especially perplexing as to why you would accuse all guys/men of being stingy when you mentioned in your story how your friend's boyfriend (who I can only assume is also a guy) spends money freely on her. No, I don't understand this at all.
Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
Cut her some slack even if she did compare him to some other guy. I think girls bring up what other guys do for their gfs cause they're aware of our competitve nature. So they think we'll up and go do or buy whatever just to not be 1 upped. Keeping up with the Joneses if you will. I just brush it off. I dont go off on some tirade. I mean come on how hard up can he be for $10?
I say get rid of him (surely you can find someone willing to spend a little on you) or just accept his cheap broke 'I ant spendin no $10 dollars on you' sorry ass.
I say get rid of him (surely you can find someone willing to spend a little on you) or just accept his cheap broke 'I ant spendin no $10 dollars on you' sorry ass.
FortNinety
Member
So lady, you're baffled by the negative reaction due to your bitching about a boyfriend of one year whom you won't sleep with? Mistake number one: bringing up such nonsense in a video game forum.
D'ultimate
Member
WTF is wrong with you guys? Why is everyone so caught up with the fact that she said about the friends boyfriend. She already admitted she was wrong. Similarly, he apologized for the father comment...though I don't see anyone dwelling on that shit.
The main point is that he is not willing to spend $10 on thongs for his woman. 10 f'king dollars people. I mean broke as fuck ANYBODY, man or woman should be WILLING to do that for the person they are involved with. This guy was not willing to make any f'king attempt in the least to do this. Why even be involved with her? Cheap fuck!
The main point is that he is not willing to spend $10 on thongs for his woman. 10 f'king dollars people. I mean broke as fuck ANYBODY, man or woman should be WILLING to do that for the person they are involved with. This guy was not willing to make any f'king attempt in the least to do this. Why even be involved with her? Cheap fuck!
How old are you two? That's really the first question.
Secondly, a year and he hasn't bought you anything? I hate consumerism and capitalism as much as the next guy, but even that's a little much. At the same time, you shouldn't expect things from him. On the other hand, if he hasn't really shown you a sign of affection or appreciation by this point, then why are you still together? He sounds like an angry/frustrated boy...which could also have something to do with the lack of sex.
Secondly, a year and he hasn't bought you anything? I hate consumerism and capitalism as much as the next guy, but even that's a little much. At the same time, you shouldn't expect things from him. On the other hand, if he hasn't really shown you a sign of affection or appreciation by this point, then why are you still together? He sounds like an angry/frustrated boy...which could also have something to do with the lack of sex.
D'ultimate said:
I wonder if he'd be willing to spend $10 on something else for her though. I know if she asked me to buy her panties and I knew she wouldn't even let me see her in them I might be a little annoyed.
But I'd be more willing to buy something else, that I could see her enjoy using....brooklyngooner
Member
Waychel --
It seems like you're getting the pile-on at this point, and I'm usually loath to get involved in relationship advice threads, but I'll just offer my take and you can take from it what you will.
Obviously and by your own admission it was a mistake to compare him to others; NO ONE likes that, it's not just a boy thing. What if in discussing sex he says, "Well X's girlfriend gives it up, why can't you?" You would have your reasons that have little to do with anyone else. Likewise, this is about him and you and that's it.
I will say that his reaction, comparisons aside, is more than a little revealing and I think you should talk to him. It doesn't make one material-oriented to want gifts. Gifts can be a very touching, intimate way of expressing one's feelings. Yes, even a thong; it's not like what's important to you is the price tag (be honest with yourself -- is it?). Were I you I'd make it clear you are sorry (again) for the comparison but get at why he's loath to buy a gift. I doubt rather highly this is purely about money. Make him be as honest as possible, listen as well as you can and make sure you say what you need to about it. Make it clear this isn't about material goods but rather expressions of emotion. And I would avoid labels at all costs, such as "stingy" or the like.
One last thing -- don't take his actions as representative of "boys" as in your thread title. That just makes you seem paranoid and judgmental.
It seems like you're getting the pile-on at this point, and I'm usually loath to get involved in relationship advice threads, but I'll just offer my take and you can take from it what you will.
Obviously and by your own admission it was a mistake to compare him to others; NO ONE likes that, it's not just a boy thing. What if in discussing sex he says, "Well X's girlfriend gives it up, why can't you?" You would have your reasons that have little to do with anyone else. Likewise, this is about him and you and that's it.
I will say that his reaction, comparisons aside, is more than a little revealing and I think you should talk to him. It doesn't make one material-oriented to want gifts. Gifts can be a very touching, intimate way of expressing one's feelings. Yes, even a thong; it's not like what's important to you is the price tag (be honest with yourself -- is it?). Were I you I'd make it clear you are sorry (again) for the comparison but get at why he's loath to buy a gift. I doubt rather highly this is purely about money. Make him be as honest as possible, listen as well as you can and make sure you say what you need to about it. Make it clear this isn't about material goods but rather expressions of emotion. And I would avoid labels at all costs, such as "stingy" or the like.
One last thing -- don't take his actions as representative of "boys" as in your thread title. That just makes you seem paranoid and judgmental.
worst thread ever.
if you are under 16 and worrying about your boyfriend giving you thongs and heavy petting and shit.. ummm... knock it the fuck off and spend your time enjoying your childhood.. seriously.. it is way too short.. you will have plenty of bullshit stuff like this to worry about when you are an adult.
if you are an adult and worrying about this shit... umm.. knock it the fuck off and enjoy your young adulthood. it is way too short.. you will have plenty of bullshit like this to worry about when you are a working class full blown adult.
if you are an adult over like 22-24.. ummm. knock it the fuck off. this shit is really meaningless and you are coming off as self-centered and materialistic. Your BF may be cheap or not, but you complaining about him buying you stuff or not is pretty fucking shallow. try participating in the really real world some time.
if you are under 16 and worrying about your boyfriend giving you thongs and heavy petting and shit.. ummm... knock it the fuck off and spend your time enjoying your childhood.. seriously.. it is way too short.. you will have plenty of bullshit stuff like this to worry about when you are an adult.
if you are an adult and worrying about this shit... umm.. knock it the fuck off and enjoy your young adulthood. it is way too short.. you will have plenty of bullshit like this to worry about when you are a working class full blown adult.
if you are an adult over like 22-24.. ummm. knock it the fuck off. this shit is really meaningless and you are coming off as self-centered and materialistic. Your BF may be cheap or not, but you complaining about him buying you stuff or not is pretty fucking shallow. try participating in the really real world some time.
there's this magical place called I REALLY DON'T CARE
I covered all my bases... so she fits into the second category.. whatever. either way she is whining because she isn't as important as she wants to be, is putting her boyfriend (who may be sintgy) in a pretty shitty spot, and then comes on to a primarily male internet forum and acts all incredulous when she lets a little bit about sex slip out and guys want to know more...
as I said, worst thread ever.
I covered all my bases... so she fits into the second category.. whatever. either way she is whining because she isn't as important as she wants to be, is putting her boyfriend (who may be sintgy) in a pretty shitty spot, and then comes on to a primarily male internet forum and acts all incredulous when she lets a little bit about sex slip out and guys want to know more...
as I said, worst thread ever.
Pedigree Chum
Banned
I'm not stingy at all, almost to a fault. My rents fucking hate it, especially my dad...cause he was exactly the same when he was my age :lol
I'm young, time to enjoy. Once I've got a family and more serious resposibilites I'll buckle down. I know enough about me to know that, but right now (age 21) it's the time to enjoy a bit.
Oh by the way, you bf fucking sucks. Too cheap to spend $10 for you? Fuck, what a lame ass. Here I am with no gf, and fucking losers get em all the time. *sigh*
I'm young, time to enjoy. Once I've got a family and more serious resposibilites I'll buckle down. I know enough about me to know that, but right now (age 21) it's the time to enjoy a bit.
Oh by the way, you bf fucking sucks. Too cheap to spend $10 for you? Fuck, what a lame ass. Here I am with no gf, and fucking losers get em all the time. *sigh*
I would like to say that whatever else may be true, your boyfriend is as thick as a brick.
really If I was standing behind you guys when you were having this conversation and he went "Why should I buy you a thong?" I woulda slapped him upside the head and shouted "Why do you think Moron".
Then I woulda given him 10 bucks (Canadian) told him to buy himself a clue and then run out of you house before you called the cops.
really If I was standing behind you guys when you were having this conversation and he went "Why should I buy you a thong?" I woulda slapped him upside the head and shouted "Why do you think Moron".
Then I woulda given him 10 bucks (Canadian) told him to buy himself a clue and then run out of you house before you called the cops.
Mama Smurf
My penis is still intact.
To be honest, regardless of the comparing him to another guy thing, I'd be a bit pissed off just at being asked "Why don't you buy me a thong?" There's just something about the phrasing that gets to me, almost like you're not expected to be allowed to say no. If you said "Honey, will you buy me this thong?" that would be better.
Though frankly, if you can afford it on your own, something like a thong is something I'd expect you to buy for yourself. I'd get you gifts and things, jewellry and flowers etc, even fun little things I think you'd like, and buy you dinner and pay for you at the cinema and stuff. But unless it's your birthday, I'm as likely to buy you clothes as I am your groceries.
Of course, if you're asking him out of desperation as he never buys you anything, it's more understandable.
Though frankly, if you can afford it on your own, something like a thong is something I'd expect you to buy for yourself. I'd get you gifts and things, jewellry and flowers etc, even fun little things I think you'd like, and buy you dinner and pay for you at the cinema and stuff. But unless it's your birthday, I'm as likely to buy you clothes as I am your groceries.
Of course, if you're asking him out of desperation as he never buys you anything, it's more understandable.
Pedigree Chum
Banned
I don't get why people are so touchy about the "Why don't you buy me a thong, ____'s bf does it all the time"...It's not a big deal, stop being so touchy. I guess it's not fair, cause my mom/sis are like that all the time with they way they ask for things, "Look at ____ family whith the way they own this and that. I want one too!" to my dad. Always comparing to others, it was annoying for the longest time but I learned to accept it cause it's fucking pre-loaded in women to compare EVERYTHING in their lives to others.
I'm 20 -- not under 16.
My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and we were close friends for a year before that. Yes, he does care about me and I do care about him, even if we do get into stupid fights over stuff like thongs. Neither of us dated in high school because school was the top priority in our lives at that point in time and in my case, the private school that I attended was all-girl to begin with. My last boyfriend also used me for money, stole/spent on one of my credit cards and later harassed my family, so I'm not exactly eager to jump someone's bones early on in a relationship due to having problems with my last one. That doesn't mean I haven't kissed my boyfriend, he hasn't seen me in panties or we haven't messed around a little bit; it just means that I don't think I'm ready for actual sex yet since this is my second real relationship. I don't see what's wrong with that and I also fail to see why all of the focus and attention is on what I may or may not have done with my boyfriend. The details of what I have done in the bedroom isn't exactly what I want to share with everyone on the internet -- I do have limits.
As for purchasing my boyfriend gifts, I've only done so for Christmas and his birthday. I've paid for his online gaming accounts before and leveled his characters, etc. as a surprise, but I don't know if those would constitute as "gifts" or not. I do little things for him from time to time to show that I care, so I guess in my girl's mindset I expected him to do the same by buying me things now and then as reciprocation. I suppose that this doesn't make him stingy, but me a bit superficial for expecting him to live up to the shallow standards of materialism that I have set for him. I'm pretty naive and it didn't really occure to me how much I may have hurt or offended him by comparing our relationship to somebody else's. As for going out on dates, he's never really taken me out anywhere special if that's what you mean, because gas is so high here right now. I've never complained about that though because I don't really feel the need to go out anywhere, since I enjoy all of the time we spend together regardless of where it is.
Everyone else that I talk to in real life and online knows my boyfriend. This was the most anonymous place (to me) to post and rant about it. Yeah, this is a videogame forum, but I see people ask relationship advice here all the time and it is the off-topic section. If you don't want to read about it, then why are you still clicking on it? As far as posting goes, I mainly wanted to get this out because I was upset over the $10 thing and what it implied to me. I'm pretty much over it now though and I think that I was the most at fault for having brought my friend's relationship into it. I also think that someone was right in pointing out to me that $10 is a lot to some guys when they don't have parents to fall back on. My boyfriend is Vietnamese and has a rather large family, so it is stupid of me to expect so much (materialistically) from him in the first place...
I think that's everything. I'm not going to bother answering the other questions/threats/whatever.
My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and we were close friends for a year before that. Yes, he does care about me and I do care about him, even if we do get into stupid fights over stuff like thongs. Neither of us dated in high school because school was the top priority in our lives at that point in time and in my case, the private school that I attended was all-girl to begin with. My last boyfriend also used me for money, stole/spent on one of my credit cards and later harassed my family, so I'm not exactly eager to jump someone's bones early on in a relationship due to having problems with my last one. That doesn't mean I haven't kissed my boyfriend, he hasn't seen me in panties or we haven't messed around a little bit; it just means that I don't think I'm ready for actual sex yet since this is my second real relationship. I don't see what's wrong with that and I also fail to see why all of the focus and attention is on what I may or may not have done with my boyfriend. The details of what I have done in the bedroom isn't exactly what I want to share with everyone on the internet -- I do have limits.
As for purchasing my boyfriend gifts, I've only done so for Christmas and his birthday. I've paid for his online gaming accounts before and leveled his characters, etc. as a surprise, but I don't know if those would constitute as "gifts" or not. I do little things for him from time to time to show that I care, so I guess in my girl's mindset I expected him to do the same by buying me things now and then as reciprocation. I suppose that this doesn't make him stingy, but me a bit superficial for expecting him to live up to the shallow standards of materialism that I have set for him. I'm pretty naive and it didn't really occure to me how much I may have hurt or offended him by comparing our relationship to somebody else's. As for going out on dates, he's never really taken me out anywhere special if that's what you mean, because gas is so high here right now. I've never complained about that though because I don't really feel the need to go out anywhere, since I enjoy all of the time we spend together regardless of where it is.
Everyone else that I talk to in real life and online knows my boyfriend. This was the most anonymous place (to me) to post and rant about it. Yeah, this is a videogame forum, but I see people ask relationship advice here all the time and it is the off-topic section. If you don't want to read about it, then why are you still clicking on it? As far as posting goes, I mainly wanted to get this out because I was upset over the $10 thing and what it implied to me. I'm pretty much over it now though and I think that I was the most at fault for having brought my friend's relationship into it. I also think that someone was right in pointing out to me that $10 is a lot to some guys when they don't have parents to fall back on. My boyfriend is Vietnamese and has a rather large family, so it is stupid of me to expect so much (materialistically) from him in the first place...
I think that's everything. I'm not going to bother answering the other questions/threats/whatever.
Pedigree Chum
Banned
He seriously needs to grow up, any guy who's offended by something like needs to as well. I usually just laugh shit like that off, it's not worth getting upset over cause every freakin' girl does it...whether they realize it or not.
:lol if he really wanted to he could scrounge up $10 for ya.
Mama Smurf
My penis is still intact.
Given the number of guys who think that comment was out of line, I think it's fair to say it was a mistake to say it. I'd say those who need to grow up are the ones who say things like that and don't realise relationships are different and comparing is just going to lead to problems.
OpinionatedCyborg
Member
Your first mistake was asking him to buy your the thong for his birthday instead of buying it yourself. Your second mistake was comparing your relationship to another. Your third, and final, mistake was not playing the Final Countdown in Winamp as your hurredly type a PM to me asking to make use of my Ninja 4 Hire service. Mr.Boyfriend's obviously pretty damn insecure for taking your comments as personal jabs. He's also pretty fucking blind if he couldn't see what you were trying to get at.
OTOH, seriously, what's ten dollars? If he can buy a new game or game account, he can spend ten or however many dollars to buy her a thong. If i were in the same boat, i'd have probably jumped at the chance.Mama Smurf said:
Again, i didn't have a lot growing up, but i'm definitely willing to spend some money on a girl. Maybe he just got pissed off at the comparison to another couple in conjunction with the fact that her family is/was better off than hers. It's hard to say and the only people that would know what's going on are Waychel and her boyfriend.
Mama Smurf
My penis is still intact.
It's nothing, I agree. To be coldly honest though, if you're looking at other relationships and yours is coming off badly, it's often best not to try and make yours like their's, but rather to get another one.
Mama Smurf
My penis is still intact.
Yeah, I've missed this oli thing too.
Manics said:
Uhm, apologize for what? I'm not the one attacking Mike over presumptions I've made regarding his relationship with his girlfriend. Forgive me, but I think that I know more about what I have done in my relationship than Mike does and I find it pretty ridiculous that he would take the time to debate the issue with me and threaten a ban over it (which IMO is indicative enough that he cares about the issue of my sex life or lack thereof). If I get banned by Mike because he thinks that I haven't done any "heavy petting" in my relationship, then oh well -- there's the most ridiculous ban I've ever been awarded online. Judging from the majority of the comments here, I doubt I'd be missed much.