• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Why are guys so stingy?

border

Member
Waychel said:
As for going out on dates, he's never really taken me out anywhere special if that's what you mean, because gas is so high here right now.
I need to find a girl that buys into excuses this lame.

"Looks like we're eating Krystal again tonight hun....what with the gas prices being so high and all."

Sounds like you were so poorly treated in your first relationship that you are able to put up with all manner of jackassery from the new guy (so long as hr doesn't cross the lines that his predecessor did).
 

Azih

Member
Waychel said:
Judging from the majority of the comments here, I doubt I'd be missed much.
:lol by GAF standards you're actually coming off pretty well. You're hardly at a Leguna level of coal raking for example.
 

BuddyC

Member
crash_r.jpg
 

Waychel

Banned
I'd say that the act of debating with me alone over the extent of my romantic relationship (which Mike knows nothing about) is indication enough that he cares about my sex life/lack thereof to some extent. If he didn't, why would he be arguing with me over it to the point where he's now threatening to ban me because of it? Most people, if a person clarified what their romantic relationship was, wouldn't further argue the issue with the person if they didn't care about it for some reason or another. They'd realize that they had wrongfully assumed as to the specifics and just drop the issue. Actions (his debating) speak louder than words to me. I'd say that my assumption of his intentions is more educated than his was in alluding to that he knew anything about the level of intimacy in my relationship to begin with.
 

Manics

Banned
Waychel said:
I'd say that the act of debating with me alone over the extent of my romantic relationship (which Mike knows nothing about) is indication enough that he cares about my sex life/lack thereof to some extent. If he didn't, why would he be arguing with me over it to the point where he's now threatening to ban me because of it? Most people, if a person clarified what their romantic relationship was, wouldn't further argue the issue with the person if they didn't care about it for some reason or another. They'd realize that they had wrongfully assumed as to the specifics of something and just drop the issue. Actions (his debating) speak louder than words to me. I'd say that my assumption is more educated than his.


It's not me you have to answer to. I'm just pointing out that time's a running out missy!

P.S. Surprise your bf and buy the damn thong, wear it in front of him for his birthday with nothing else on but a smile. He'll forgive your other argument.
 

Shouta

Member
Waychel said:
Uhm, apologize for what? I'm not the one attacking Mike over presumptions I've made regarding his relationship with his girlfriend. Forgive me, but I think that I know more about what I have done in my relationship than Mike does and I find it pretty ridiculous that he would take the time to debate the issue with me and threaten a ban over it (which IMO is indicative enough that he cares about the issue of my sex life or lack thereof). If I get banned by Mike because he thinks that I haven't done any "heavy petting" in my relationship, then oh well -- there's the most ridiculous ban I've ever been awarded online. Judging from the majority of the comments here, I doubt I'd be missed much.

He didn't ask you go to into detail about your sexual history as shown by this quote.

Mike Works said:
So you suddenly brought up the comparison AFTER he insulted you AND all of a sudden you HAVE done things before sexually? How convenient that the two chronologically mislabled entries of your story were the very two that everyone in this thread were pointing out as your fault/flaws!

I just love coincidence!

This is what you said.

Waychel said:
So, my boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now. I've never "done" anything with him (or any other guy), but recently I started dropping him hints.

Waychel said:
FYI, the girl he was with before me was only interested in sex after marriage... LOL Also, I'm saying "heavy petting", but it isn't like we haven't done things before. Sorry if I feel like leaving the full details of what we have and haven't done out of this. Haha...

He's calling you on altering your story to get cover your ass and deflect some flak you're getting. You then get mad at him, try to change the subject, and then start putting words in his mouth to save face. You're being a bonehead, plain and simple Waychel.
 

TAJ

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
>>>>Even if she shouldn't have compared him to another girl's boyfriend (which I agree was a stupid move), that's a pretty lame excuse for not buying anything. I mean, you two have been together for a year. It's your friggin' birthday. You're his girlfriend.<<<

No. There's a word for someone you hang out with a lot, but don't fuck. It's "friend".
A relationship without relations is just a "-hip". :p
There's a word for someone who calls herself your girlfriend for a year, but hasn't fucked you, also. It's "tease". (see also: "attention whore")

And, if girls give presents to guys they love, (outside something small on birthday or Christmas) I've never met anyone in my life who had a girl love them.
 

android

Theoretical Magician
Waychel said:
Uhm, apologize for what? I'm not the one attacking Mike over presumptions I've made regarding his relationship with his girlfriend. Forgive me, but I think that I know more about what I have done in my relationship than Mike does and I find it pretty ridiculous that he would take the time to debate the issue with me and threaten a ban over it (which IMO is indicative enough that he cares about the issue of my sex life or lack thereof). If I get banned by Mike because he thinks that I haven't done any "heavy petting" in my relationship, then oh well -- there's the most ridiculous ban I've ever been awarded online. Judging from the majority of the comments here, I doubt I'd be missed much.
splash.png
 

Manics

Banned
Shouta said:
He's calling you on altering your story to get cover your ass and deflect some flak you're getting. You then get mad at him, try to change the subject, and then start putting words in his mouth to save face. You're being a bonehead, plain and simple Waychel.


You put it much more succinctly than I could have Shouta. Good job.

P.S. Waychel : keep us abreast of what happens on your bf's birthday. We have fantasies to uphold on this board.
 

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
TAJ said:
And, if girls give presents to guys they love, (outside something small on birthday or Christmas) I've never met anyone in my life who had a girl love them.
It depends on the girl. I've known one girl like that, and my sister is like that to the extreme. She's in a sort of pseudo-relationships/friendship with this one guy, and a while back when she was still "crushing" on him she bought him a drumset. A fucking drumset. I was blown away. She also bought her ex a shitload of stuff.
 

frolet

Banned
Look, you're ugly, so consider yourself lucky that a guy is paying any attention to you in the first place, even if he is an illegal gook immigrant with no money. :lol So... give the guy a break and suck him off. Then maybe he'll buy you your underroos.
 

Manics

Banned
frolet said:
Look, you're ugly, so consider yourself lucky that a guy is paying any attention to you in the first place, even if he is an illegal gook immigrant with no money. :lol .


Wow. Racism abounds.
 

border

Member
Manics said:
P.S. Surprise your bf and buy the damn thong, wear it in front of him for his birthday with nothing else on but a smile. He'll forgive your other argument.
Rewarding the guy for being a dumbass/cheapskate is not really the way to improve the relationship. Of course she should probably just jettison this goofball anyhow...
 

MC Safety

Member
frolet said:
Look, you're ugly, so consider yourself lucky that a guy is paying any attention to you in the first place, even if he is an illegal gook immigrant with no money. :lol So... give the guy a break and suck him off. Then maybe he'll buy you your underroos.


Please don't make me post a picture of my cats again. I'll do it!

Also, please don't be a horse's patoot.
 

Eminem

goddamit, Griese!
TAJ said:
There's a word for someone you hang out with a lot, but don't fuck. It's "friend".
A relationship without relations is just a "-hip". :p
There's a word for someone who calls herself your girlfriend for a year, but hasn't fucked you, also. It's "tease". (see also: "attention whore")


DING DING. Exactly right.

I don't see what's wrong with that and I also fail to see why all of the focus and attention is on what I may or may not have done with my boyfriend.

Well I'm sure you realize you realize you're talking to an all male audience here. I seriously doubt ANY of us, no matter how desperate or patient, would have a self-called girlfriend for a freaking YEAR, receive no action, and still be with them.
I mean, that's the first thing we think of because of how goddamn ridiculous it sounds to us.
This thread would have been a lot better off from your standpoint had you left that whole thing out of your original post.
 
Shouta said:
He's calling you on altering your story to get cover your ass and deflect some flak you're getting. You then get mad at him, try to change the subject, and then start putting words in his mouth to save face. You're being a bonehead, plain and simple Waychel.
THANK YOU

I thought everyone was taking god damn crazy pills.

Tell you what Waychel, if you agree with Shouta's above assessment, I'll call the whole ruthless account termination thing off. Whaddya say!
 

masud

Banned
I’m sorry it’s the guys fault. If you’ve been going out with a girl for a year without any sex and one day right before your birthday she asks you to buy her a thong, you should shut up and take the fucking hint.
 

kevm3

Member
Most men are tight with their money for a reason-- they want to avoid golddiggers. Plus, if he gave in on this occasion, you'd probably use the same exact routine on him to get something else. That's probably how he perceived it. Plus, if he wants to buy you something, then he will. He doesn't want to be 'forced' to buy you something and make it seems like love has a price. Imagine if he came up to you and said "Ryan's girl lost 7 pounds. Why don't you do the same thing? What? You're saying no? You must not love me if you can't lose a measely 7 pounds for me." People don't want to be forced to do something to 'show that they love you.'
 

kevm3

Member
Maybe I'm not like most guys or something, but I have no freaking time to sit around and decipher hints. I don't know how it was the guy's fault. He hasn't gotten sex in the relationship and it's already been a year. So how the hell is he just supposed to assume that his girl asking him to buy a thong is a hint for, "Maybe you can hit these skins!"? Thongs aren't necessarily synonymous with sex, ESPECIALLY when you aren't getting any from the girl. The guy probably thought that she just wants some cute new underwear and is asking him to buy some.

Now if she asked him to buy her a sex toy and he didn't get the hint, then he'd be dense. But women, stop with these freaking hints and be a little more direct. If you're going to come at the guy with a catalogue out of nowhere and ask him to buy a thong, at least rub on his package and say it in a sexy voice or something to make your intentions more directly known.
 
Without reading anything but the first post, it's not just guys. My last girlfriend I paid for everything except lunch, one time, when she treated me. In short, some people are stingy and has nothing to do with gender.

Edit: I think if I was him and after a year, we hadn't had sex, I would just assume you weren't interested in me and moved on. Actually it would probably happen a lot sooner than a year, we'll say 6months tops.
 

Cubsfan23

Banned
Sorry, but your relationship is fucked up.

You were friends before, and even after a year together you don't have the desire to have sex with him? Just because you got screwed (no pun intended) by your last boyfriend? Even more ridiculous is the fact that he doesn't have the balls to have sex with you. But i guess if i had a girl who paid for a bunch of my shit, and rarely had to do anything for her, I would still have some consolation.

Only explanation is that both of you can't attract anybody else. Or you're a joke character.

cue the Cubsfan bashing posts

Well I'm sure you realize you realize you're talking to an all male audience here. I seriously doubt ANY of us, no matter how desperate or patient, would have a self-called girlfriend for a freaking YEAR, receive no action, and still be with them.

The funny thing is that her girlfriends are probably more perplexed than us. Girls talk about this stuff more than us.
 

Mama Smurf

My penis is still intact.
I don't even find thongs sexy. Doubt I'm the only one. They wouldn't indicate sex to me, girls seem to just wear them like any other sort of underwear generally.

Of course, in this situation i'd have been happy that my girl wanted to kink things up in any way to any degree.
 

masud

Banned
kevm3 said:
Maybe I'm not like most guys or something, but I have no freaking time to sit around and decipher hints. I don't know how it was the guy's fault. He hasn't gotten sex in the relationship and it's already been a year. So how the hell is he just supposed to assume that his girl asking him to buy a thong is a hint for, "Maybe you can hit these skins!"? Thongs aren't necessarily synonymous with sex, ESPECIALLY when you aren't getting any from the girl. The guy probably thought that she just wants some cute new underwear and is asking him to buy some.

Now if she asked him to buy her a sex toy and he didn't get the hint, then he'd be dense. But women, stop with these freaking hints and be a little more direct. If you're going to come at the guy with a catalogue out of nowhere and ask him to buy a thong, at least rub on his package and say it in a sexy voice or something to make your intentions more directly known.

Unfortunately girls will never stop communicating through hints and mixed messages (especially about sex.) And unfortunately we have to deal with it if we want to fuck them. I still maintain that that was a fairly obvious hint and that this guy is a fucking moron for getting mad about anything at that point.
 
D

Deleted member 1235

Unconfirmed Member
Man if it was my birthday coming up and my girlfriend said "Hey how about you buy me a thong for your birthday" I would say "How bought you buy a thong for yourself, and wear that shit on my birthday?"

I also wouldn't like to be compared to someone elses boyfriend. but then, I'm a fucking terrific boyfriend, so that's not gonna be happening.
 

masud

Banned
I'm not saying that he should have necessarily bought her the underwear if he actually had a problem with spending 10 dollars (which I doubt), but getting mad at her was a bonehead move. Or maybe he's just afraid of having sex? That would make sense considering the information we already have.

BTW What the fuck is heavy petting?
 
Mama Smurf said:
I don't even find thongs sexy. Doubt I'm the only one. They wouldn't indicate sex to me, girls seem to just wear them like any other sort of underwear generally.

Of course, in this situation i'd have been happy that my girl wanted to kink things up in any way to any degree.

You might be gay.
 

Dan

No longer boycotting the Wolfenstein franchise
Mama Smurf said:
I don't even find thongs sexy. Doubt I'm the only one. They wouldn't indicate sex to me, girls seem to just wear them like any other sort of underwear generally.
I agree. Thongs do nothing for me. I don't understand the appeal.

I think no matter how you cut it, this specific request for a gift is wrong. It's either a random request for him to buy you your underwear, or some kind of payment for a sexual encounter with you (I don't see any reason for him to believe you'd suddenly jump for actual intercourse, which of course, would apparently be correct). The big problem is that you have the nerve to ask, hell, demand that he buy thongs for you. Who requests a gift?

All in all though, I think you're both screwed up and you probably deserve each other. My sixth grade relationship sounds a lot more eventful and healthy than yours does.
 

kevm3

Member
Thongs aren't all that sexy to me either. I just don't give a damn about them. They look sleazy on a lot of chicks, especially when you see them hanging all out of the back of their jeans. I like women in more traditional types of panties, and no, not granny panties... But panties that don't consist of floss running into a girl's ass. They look especially terrible if the girl has no ass.

I'd be a moron too in that scenario then. If a girl I was with hasn't given it up to me FOR A YEAR! A YEAR! A YEAR!!!! AHHH!! then her asking me to buy her some new underwear wouldn't shoot off signals in my head that she wants to "get petted" or something. That's kind of like me taking a virgin out to the grocery store and buying her a bottle of chocolate syrup and getting mad when she doesn't get the hint that I want her to give me a hot, sloppy blowjob.
 
This thread gets the Drinky Crow Seal of Approval as well as a GAF Troll Magazine score of 89.

From the review: "A feisty law student tries to justify her conservative princess lifestyle to GAF, with temperate results despite a delightfully inflammatory title. However, a guest star appearance by local maestro Michael Orlando sends the laugh factor through the roof as our little legal eagle has to take the stand for a Canuckian cross-examination. Hijinks ensue, a ban is threatened, suspicions of jewry arise, thong-haters emerge from the closet, Cubsfan weighs in, and finally, Banmaster Tim arrives in court to drop the gavel. Only a lack of Nintendogs, olimario's penis, or the v-card keeps this thread from achieving the big prize. Certainly, this heady bouquet of personalities at war gets an archive-worthy score of 89."
 

Lil' Dice

Banned
LOL! I've been with my gf for 10 years, and not once has she asked me to buy her a pair of panties :lol I buy my own underwear and socks, and so does she.
She has thongs, lo-rise and lingerie, but it's all bough discreetly and used to pleasantly surprise me.

I'm also glad he said no, comparing him to another guy is a cardinal sin in the book of love...
 
a few pro tips for Waychel, from a fellow girl. I guess I know what its like to be in your position. Ive made more (usually a lot) $$$ than every guy Ive ever dated :p

1. NEVER ask a man to buy lingerie. It wont fit right and it will probably be ugly. Buy it and suprise him with it. If he dosent reciprocate your gifts, kick his ass to the curb. You get what you give or move on. If you're both cheap/generous then cool, but it should be about even either way.

2. DONT buy pink lingerie. From my experience guys rarely like it. Red or black seems to be the most popular. Fredricks>>>>>>>Victorias Secret.

3. A year without sex? OMGWTF? no tip here, just shock. I dated a religious guy for a bit. He wanted to "get to know me first". After a month of him not putting out I kicked his ass to the curb. What if you waste all that time and you two arent compatible? ugh.
 

Diablos

Member
I've never been in a relationship before, but Waychel, the solutions to your problems scream USE COMMON SENSE, NOT A MESSAGE BOARD.

We're both kind of conservative
Obviously. Especially him.

Anyways, so the other day I showed him my Victoria's Secret catalogue and pointed out to him that they are selling thongs for $10/ea and sets of three for $20. I asked him, "Why don't you buy me a thong? ______'s boyfriend buys her stuff like this all the time." The reaction that I got was far from what I expected and goes to show that I know NOTHING about guys: "Why do you want me to buy you something... and why are you comparing me to ______'s boyfriend?" I felt kind of sad and embarassed for bringing it up, but then he said: "I don't have money for this."
Okay, unless you aren't being truthful with us (which, thanks to Mike, you really haven't been but that's a slightly different aspect of this fiasco), it seems like you are a really easy-going, understanding girlfriend and you don't expect your boyfriend to spend tons of money on you all the time. Assuming this is the case, your boyfriend is an asshole, and pretty stupid for not getting the hint (or pretending not to) and not wanting to buy you a thong for ten fucking dollars. The first reply in this thread says what I want to. He's a bonehead and/or gay and/or afraid. (I think one or all three of these confirms that he's insane.)

I just thought, WTF? How much is $10 to spend on your girlfriend? That's probably less than a pizza. I was pretty upset by this, so I asked him: "Am I really not worth ten dollars? Come on, now." Then he got a little bit upset: "$10 might be nothing to you because of your daddy, but to people like me, that's real money. I have school and other things to be putting my money towards. What, do you expect me to buy you a bouquet of flowers every day too? If anything, you should be the one offering to buy me books. Blah blah blah."
Again, I would understand this reaction if you want him to buy you stuff all the time, but it doesn't seem that way, so this further proves the point that he's probably thick-headed, stubborn, afraid, and possibly gay! Lame reaction.

Of course, he apologized to me later on for the comments he made about my dad, but WTF? I still can't believe $10 isn't worth spending on me. I know that it isn't right to compare my relationship to others and formulate expectations around them either, but I do expect to be BOUGHT something now and then, just to know I'm cared or being thought about. I wasn't even really asking for something for myself, but more along the lines of something for "us" -- from my perspective, at least. Also, he's never ONCE bought me anything, despite the fact that I've already bought gifts for his birthday. Most if not all of my money goes to pay for my dad's medication too, since I'm the one always having to pick it up and my dad no longer has insurance.
Did you even need to write this? You've bought things for him for a birthday gift, never expect anything in return or even randomly (at least according to what you said here), and spend money on your family. This guy bitches and moans about $10 underwear. Sounds like you're attached to a guy that doesn't like you as much as you may think OR is what I have twice noted above. You'll have to figure that out, but either way it just sounds like this guy is not right for you.

Am I just being superficial/selfish? I can't help feeling that this is beyond stingy. Maybe I'm spoiled, but IMO, $10 isn't very much to spending on somebody you care about. I know I've spent more on him, that's for sure.
Comparing your relationship to other people's was kind of lame, but then again, it was about something for $10. His lack of appreciation is kind of alarming... especially since he won't buy a thong for you. If you were asking for a car, or a $300 necklace, or an expensive vacation -- something like that -- I'd understand his reasoning. But for $10? Come on. If you have been together for a year now and this is still an issue, the writing's on the wall. I shouldn't have even needed to point these things out to you. Most guys would get the hint before you were even done asking, believe me. Common sense, not GAF, is the key here Waychel. Don't live in denial because maybe, just maybe your boyfriend doesn't care as much for you as you once thought.
 
Drinky Crow said:
This thread gets the Drinky Crow Seal of Approval as well as a GAF Troll Magazine score of 89.

From the review: "A feisty law student tries to justify her conservative princess lifestyle to GAF, with temperate results despite a delightfully inflammatory title. However, a guest star appearance by local maestro Michael Orlando sends the laugh factor through the roof as our little legal eagle has to take the stand for a Canuckian cross-examination. Hijinks ensue, a ban is threatened, suspicions of jewry arise, thong-haters emerge from the closet, Cubsfan weighs in, and finally, Banmaster Tim arrives in court to drop the gavel. Only a lack of Nintendogs, olimario's penis, or the v-card keeps this thread from achieving the big prize. Certainly, this heady bouquet of personalities at war gets an archive-worthy score of 89."

I would have thought though that a lack of hastily-arranged photoshops would have dragged the score down a bit further.
 

nitewulf

Member
Drinky Crow said:
This thread gets the Drinky Crow Seal of Approval as well as a GAF Troll Magazine score of 89.

From the review: "A feisty law student tries to justify her conservative princess lifestyle to GAF, with temperate results despite a delightfully inflammatory title. However, a guest star appearance by local maestro Michael Orlando sends the laugh factor through the roof as our little legal eagle has to take the stand for a Canuckian cross-examination. Hijinks ensue, a ban is threatened, suspicions of jewry arise, thong-haters emerge from the closet, Cubsfan weighs in, and finally, Banmaster Tim arrives in court to drop the gavel. Only a lack of Nintendogs, olimario's penis, or the v-card keeps this thread from achieving the big prize. Certainly, this heady bouquet of personalities at war gets an archive-worthy score of 89."
jesus, seriously, sometimes i live for your, drohne's and white man's eloquence.
 
Top Bottom