It's not like we're not working on it. She's had issues in her past where people have used sex to hurt her, so she really apprehensive about it.
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Worst sex you've ever had?
- Thread starter MrOogieBoogie
- Start date
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- Status
It's not like we're not working on it. She's had issues in her past where people have used sex to hurt her, so she really apprehensive about it.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
I feel really bad for my boyfriend, because he has to deal with this kind of thing from me quite often. It's the worst.
Been there. It's kinda hot, but cum also stings like a mofo when it gets in yer eye.
Crumpet Trumpet
Banned
Deathmistress
Member
I have heard of "dead fish" syndrome, but generally if I'm not moving it's because I'm falling asleep but still want dick.
On a serious note, a lot of women are raised on the notion that top is hyper-active and bottom just lies there and takes it. It takes practice and intuition to know when to be dom or sub and how to become a power-bottom. Have you guys (those with in-active women on bottom) tried explaining to them what turns you on when she's on bottom and have her wiggle into different positions and angles herself rather than having you adjust and put her there?
Forceatowulf
G***n S**n*bi
Fuck buddy was on her period. Tried to convince me to wait a few days. Didn't want to hear it. Blood everywhere.
Everywhere.
E
V
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R
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W
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E
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E
Everywhere.
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Onion_Relish
Member
I'll throw my hat in the ring here.
My worst time was with a long time ex. Our sex life was actually decent so no complaints there. During one particularly hot summer night we decide to bang. It was smoking hot inside and even with the window open it was still intolerable. We both start sweating like black guys in front of George Zimmerman and our sex became less and less like sex and more and more like turkish oil wrestling. We are just slipping and sliding all over each other to the point that both of us got grossed out and decided to stop.
My worst time was with a long time ex. Our sex life was actually decent so no complaints there. During one particularly hot summer night we decide to bang. It was smoking hot inside and even with the window open it was still intolerable. We both start sweating like black guys in front of George Zimmerman and our sex became less and less like sex and more and more like turkish oil wrestling. We are just slipping and sliding all over each other to the point that both of us got grossed out and decided to stop.
BlackNMild2k1
Member
I've had to train a girl by getting on top, sliding it in and just kinda sitting there. I made her work that shit from on her back. Once she figured out that she can move her hips, we worked on getting in the same rhythm, then she all of sudden loved being on top. it was great while it lasted. but this is the wrong thread for good experiences.
shinobi602
Member
LOL. I just read this...I literally choked on my jerky.
HOLY SHIT at those descriptions.
At a funeral
A coworker of hers died and we attended his funeral. After all the handshaking, condolences, etc we were mingling. While we were conversing she gives me a look. THAT look. The look that says she wants the d.
She tells me she needs to get something from her coat. In order to not come across as an impolite ahole and because shes amazing when she gives that look I join her.
Back in the coatroom, we find a blind corner and start making out, stripping down and stroking each other.
I push her to the ground and get on top of her. While we are fucking, the door opens. We stop and lay very still. It's the deceased's mom and a friend. She's crying over her son and I'm just lying there with my head on a tit. I start to feel incredibly bad when all of a sudden I feel her hips starting to girate again, using her legs to push me inside her.
After they left, she kicks it up a notch and starts fucking me like there's no tomorrow. I'm terribly conflicted at this moment.
My head tells me to stop, my dick wants to go on: she looks fine in those stockings, high heels, thong pushed to the side, boobs pulled out of her bra, her hair still tidy and posh...
Eventually I nut inside her but it doesn't feel right. I have never been so sad after hot and good sex ever.
A coworker of hers died and we attended his funeral. After all the handshaking, condolences, etc we were mingling. While we were conversing she gives me a look. THAT look. The look that says she wants the d.
She tells me she needs to get something from her coat. In order to not come across as an impolite ahole and because shes amazing when she gives that look I join her.
Back in the coatroom, we find a blind corner and start making out, stripping down and stroking each other.
I push her to the ground and get on top of her. While we are fucking, the door opens. We stop and lay very still. It's the deceased's mom and a friend. She's crying over her son and I'm just lying there with my head on a tit. I start to feel incredibly bad when all of a sudden I feel her hips starting to girate again, using her legs to push me inside her.
After they left, she kicks it up a notch and starts fucking me like there's no tomorrow. I'm terribly conflicted at this moment.
My head tells me to stop, my dick wants to go on: she looks fine in those stockings, high heels, thong pushed to the side, boobs pulled out of her bra, her hair still tidy and posh...
Eventually I nut inside her but it doesn't feel right. I have never been so sad after hot and good sex ever.
Forceatowulf
G***n S**n*bi
I will never stop loving this forum.
At a funeral
A coworker of hers died and we attended his funeral. After all the handshaking, condolences, etc we were mingling. While we were conversing she gives me a look. THAT look. The look that says she wants the d.
She tells me she needs to get something from her coat. In order to not come across as an impolite ahole and because shes amazing when she gives that look I join her.
Back in the coatroom, we find a blind corner and start making out, stripping down and stroking each other.
I push her to the ground and get on top of her. While we are fucking, the door opens. We stop and lay very still. It's the deceased's mom and a friend. She's crying over her son and I'm just lying there with my head on a tit. I start to feel incredibly bad when all of a sudden I feel her hips starting to girate again, using her legs to push me inside her.
After they left, she kicks it up a notch and starts fucking me like there's no tomorrow. I'm terribly conflicted at this moment.
My head tells me to stop, my dick wants to go on: she looks fine in those stockings, high heels, thong pushed to the side, boobs pulled out of her bra, her hair still tidy and posh...
Eventually I nut inside her but it doesn't feel right. I have never been so sad after hot and good sex ever.
Period sex can be amazing, just use an old towel next time.
hokagespit
Member
camping.
on a multitude of psychedelics.
back seat of my car.
i do too good.
she relaxes too much.
sunlight shines through the leaves.
my backseat has poop everywhere....
on a multitude of psychedelics.
back seat of my car.
i do too good.
she relaxes too much.
sunlight shines through the leaves.
my backseat has poop everywhere....
At a funeral
A coworker of hers died and we attended his funeral. After all the handshaking, condolences, etc we were mingling. While we were conversing she gives me a look. THAT look. The look that says she wants the d.
She tells me she needs to get something from her coat. In order to not come across as an impolite ahole and because shes amazing when she gives that look I join her.
Back in the coatroom, we find a blind corner and start making out, stripping down and stroking each other.
I push her to the ground and get on top of her. While we are fucking, the door opens. We stop and lay very still. It's the deceased's mom and a friend. She's crying over her son and I'm just lying there with my head on a tit. I start to feel incredibly bad when all of a sudden I feel her hips starting to girate again, using her legs to push me inside her.
After they left, she kicks it up a notch and starts fucking me like there's no tomorrow. I'm terribly conflicted at this moment.
My head tells me to stop, my dick wants to go on: she looks fine in those stockings, high heels, thong pushed to the side, boobs pulled out of her bra, her hair still tidy and posh...
Eventually I nut inside her but it doesn't feel right. I have never been so sad after hot and good sex ever.
I got a chub from reading this.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
shikamaroooo
Member
One night I was wasted as with mates, we went clubbing. I remember hooking one with a girl for about an hour. We then talked for a bit before she invited me back to hers. I couldn't leave with her because the next day me and my brother were going somewhere. Anyways, I told her I couldn't, so we ended up doing it in the toilets... We tried for about minute, but my d*** wouldn't go in, I was that drunk. I was so embarrassed... Ever since then, I've never gotten wasted going clubbing.
Also, I remember the girl laughing at me because I couldn't get it up.
Also, I remember the girl laughing at me because I couldn't get it up.
redfirm
Banned
A few years ago me and a girl where in her house, we started kissin and touchin and before you knew it, i took her clothing off. we didnt have much time. she put the condom on me and before you knew it i was trying to penetrate her. but somehow i just couldnt get it. it was as if she was closed, so i thought fuck it, imma go down on her and use my tong. and slowly i go down, kissin her on her belly, then her legs and before you know it i am at her lips, suddenly i feel a long piece of hair in my mouth, atleast thats what i thought it was. i move away with the hair in my mouth and i feel like i am pulling out something....it was the thread of her tampon sticking out. her tampon was filled with blood hanging in the air as the thread was in my mouth...i left
The Bookerman
Member
Stealth Chris Nolan bitch post?
so, you didn't clean up?
Fuck you for taking me away from a test.
So I was talking with a girl online about 5 years ago, back when I was living in SoCal. She seemed of the shy type, but after about a couple of weeks, she really opened up, phone and skype sex every other night, all the stuff.
We decide to finally meet up because we could not take it anymore. She wanted some, I wanted it all, and it would be hot to meet somewhere in the middle (we lived a good 40ish miles apart) and just go. The day comes, and after having lunch and playing mini-golf, we get to the motel, I shell out $90, and we get into the room and immediately my shirt is flying, and we are making out.
Now, the first warning sign was that it was my clothes being shed. She wasn't a secret fatty, because I saw what was up over cam. But hell, she was pulling me and getting down so I paid it little attention. I get around to getting her on the bed, taking her shirt off, unbuckling her bra and giving her every bit of attention with my mouth. She's loving it, and after some time, starts to unbuckle her pants, but stops. I think to myself, "Ok, she wants me to do it" but when I reach, she pushes me away. Now, I'm harder than Thor's hammer and I want to go all out, so I push her hand away and begin to strip off the pants and tear off her panties.
BIG FUCKING MISTAKE.
The smell came all at once, and hit me harder and faster than a 12-gauge to the temple. From hard as a rock to a banana peel, and it took all the willpower to not heave. I looked at her, and she had this look that told me that this was a problem for other guys and was awaiting my reaction. With eyes watering and the gag reflexes doing the work of gods, I kissed her and began fingering...I did not want her to feel bad but my dick could not do that work. Then the worst thing happens. She pushes my head down in an effort to do the impossible...but again, I didn't want to make her feel bad. I spread her apart, breathing from my mouth, and mind you the smell gets worse. Imagine mildew, old urine and a slight whiff of ass. Then toss that into a can of tuna. It's not good. I lick, and my body said no, and I heave. She gasps, I say something along the lines of ITS NOT YOU IM SICK but as soon as I do I throw up in my mouth. She begins crying while struggling to put on her ripped panties, and I just feel like shit both physically and for the poor sap that has to take that next time. By the time I get out of the bathroom, she's gone, and we haven't really talked since.
tl;dr: If it smells, suggest to take a shower together or something, because damn.
Right... If it really smells THAT bad, no amount of shower is gonna fix it. She needs to go see a doctor! That is not natural!
This is brutal just to read, I can't even imagine experiencing it first hand.
thecosmicfly
Banned
I've never had bad sex.
I've never had sex.
Messofanego
Banned
At a funeral
A coworker of hers died and we attended his funeral. After all the handshaking, condolences, etc we were mingling. While we were conversing she gives me a look. THAT look. The look that says she wants the d.
She tells me she needs to get something from her coat. In order to not come across as an impolite ahole and because shes amazing when she gives that look I join her.
Back in the coatroom, we find a blind corner and start making out, stripping down and stroking each other.
I push her to the ground and get on top of her. While we are fucking, the door opens. We stop and lay very still. It's the deceased's mom and a friend. She's crying over her son and I'm just lying there with my head on a tit. I start to feel incredibly bad when all of a sudden I feel her hips starting to girate again, using her legs to push me inside her.
After they left, she kicks it up a notch and starts fucking me like there's no tomorrow. I'm terribly conflicted at this moment.
My head tells me to stop, my dick wants to go on: she looks fine in those stockings, high heels, thong pushed to the side, boobs pulled out of her bra, her hair still tidy and posh...
Eventually I nut inside her but it doesn't feel right. I have never been so sad after hot and good sex ever.
If you were crying, that probably would have turned her on even more.
The Bookerman
Member
I call it the dead Starfish syndrome. And it's awful. But.. Worst sex I had was with my first girl and she was riding me cowgirl style... Except she was standing there, not knowing what to do to stimulate me... I tried to help her, but shit wasn't working AT ALL. Definetly My fav position and a girl who doesn't like to dominate once in while in sex is truly awful.
GoldenEye 007
Member
First time my girlfriend and I had sex. Both of our first times.
Felt bad as I am a black guy and she is smaller and petite. So that took some time for her to work up towards it.
We start and everything is good... Considering the situation of course. We finish and she goes to the bathroom to clean up.
She walks out and just collapses and passes out. I freak the fuck out. I mean what was I to do... A slightly buzzed white girl and a larger black man in such a situation... Imagine the emergency call!
But luckily she comes to and we have a laugh about it. She forgets to tell me she sometimes faints and she can usually tell it is coming right before it happens.
Nonetheless, we are still together after 4 years of now much less awkward and non-fainting sex.
Felt bad as I am a black guy and she is smaller and petite. So that took some time for her to work up towards it.
We start and everything is good... Considering the situation of course. We finish and she goes to the bathroom to clean up.
She walks out and just collapses and passes out. I freak the fuck out. I mean what was I to do... A slightly buzzed white girl and a larger black man in such a situation... Imagine the emergency call!
But luckily she comes to and we have a laugh about it. She forgets to tell me she sometimes faints and she can usually tell it is coming right before it happens.
Nonetheless, we are still together after 4 years of now much less awkward and non-fainting sex.
gooderthanu
Member
I was at a friends having a kinda lame party. Lots of drinking. The next day we are going to the Georgia aquarium and its me and two chicks. One owns the place the other is sleeping on the couch. So the one who owns it leaves and me and this other chick are left. We make out and start groping each other. Then she wanted me to put it in. I had no condom and she didnt care... I couldn't make myself do it and end up sleeping on the floor uncomfortably. The next day we go on a road trip to the aquarium. Its awkward as hell and we kept pulling over for her to vomit.
clem84
Gold Member
My story doesn't compare to some of yours but anyways... A girl once gave me oral and she was... god awful at it. The thing is, she didn't really like to do it and it REALLY showed. I still appreciated the fact that she did it to make me happy. I didn't want to be rude to her and say something like "OK let's do something else!" so I kinda let her go. That was a LONG 10 minutes waiting for her to be done.
Featheredkitten
Banned
Wish I could. Can't stand those women because they fuck the guy up for the next girl. To the point I've had a guy try to shift me around during sex.(said"I'm not a doll stop trying to pose me") or grab my hips as soon as I jump on top in an effort to control me there too.
So, yea if your previous girl was a dead fish don't assume all women will be.
Vigilant Walrus
Member
Hello dear Neogaf reader,
If you are just joining us... a quick recap in a gif... bon appetit...
Thats a nice way to sum it up.
The Albatross
Member
Long time ago.. 7, 8 years ago, hooking up with a friend at the time... I was super drunk and realized that she was very inexperienced in hooking up. She was giving me a handjob and was, seriously, just hurting me. I told her I had whiskey dick and that it was all for not, and that we should just go to bed. She was drunk and was like OKAY. But jesus my johnson hurt for days after that, it was horrible.
Definitely had some bad actual sex over the years too... First time was just embarrassing for my then girlfriend and I. We were inexperienced, no idea really what we were doing, and she was "just over her period," whcih really meant.. she was probably right in the goddam middle of it, but lied so that I wouldn't be grossed out. My condom was a condom that I got from a guy in high school like .. 6 months before.. that was a chocolate flavored condom. I had been holding onto it like a prized possession for that one time I'd finally be able to use it. It was gooey and disgusting and just some horrible ghetto brand. Finally we get around to the act, and we actually mostly sort of have sex, kind of sort of I guess, and at one point I take my pecker out and I'm just covered in blood... just... everywhere. This made me almost sick to my stomach, and I lost my boner pretty much immediately... Had to explain that it wasn't a big deal and that I think the ghetto condom was too tight and just ruined everything.
She knew the truth though.
This was in her freshman dorm in college, too, so I couldn't easily escape to the shower. I had to wash my dick off over the trash with a damp towellette.
Definitely had some bad actual sex over the years too... First time was just embarrassing for my then girlfriend and I. We were inexperienced, no idea really what we were doing, and she was "just over her period," whcih really meant.. she was probably right in the goddam middle of it, but lied so that I wouldn't be grossed out. My condom was a condom that I got from a guy in high school like .. 6 months before.. that was a chocolate flavored condom. I had been holding onto it like a prized possession for that one time I'd finally be able to use it. It was gooey and disgusting and just some horrible ghetto brand. Finally we get around to the act, and we actually mostly sort of have sex, kind of sort of I guess, and at one point I take my pecker out and I'm just covered in blood... just... everywhere. This made me almost sick to my stomach, and I lost my boner pretty much immediately... Had to explain that it wasn't a big deal and that I think the ghetto condom was too tight and just ruined everything.
She knew the truth though.
This was in her freshman dorm in college, too, so I couldn't easily escape to the shower. I had to wash my dick off over the trash with a damp towellette.
Dunedain_Ranger
Member
A buddy of mine was hanging out at a party and this girl he knew for a while took him to the back yard and into a abandoned bus. She yanked it out and started going at it. Midway thru she looks up at him and says " do you think we can be together?" He looks down at her say Naaah and walks off the bus leaving her there crying. Still the funniest damn thing I've ever heard.
Didn't eminem ether her with that diss track afterwards though?
I thought he referenced that song in The Warning.
POWERSPHERE
Banned
You literally fucked the shit out of her
I just did some quick Wiki research, and yes he did reference the song in The Warning, but her video came after some apparent shade slim dropped in Bagpipes from Baghdad. Basically there has been a lot of back and forth.
Yeah it honestly sounds like she has a bacterial or even fungal infection.
Was piss drunk at a party and super upset about a crush rejecting me earlier that night at a different party.
A very very large lady friend of a friend basically followed me home and convinced me to do it. She was obscenely loud immediately but I felt NOTHING downstairs, hotdog down a hallway style. After 20 min of letting her ride me I just pretended I came. Threw on a towel to go shower across the hall.
Crush was on the couch, was coming over to change her mind and was crying her fucking eyes out in disgust/disappointment in what I did/what she had heard.
After I saw her she bolted out the door and I seriously considered killing myself.
A very very large lady friend of a friend basically followed me home and convinced me to do it. She was obscenely loud immediately but I felt NOTHING downstairs, hotdog down a hallway style. After 20 min of letting her ride me I just pretended I came. Threw on a towel to go shower across the hall.
Crush was on the couch, was coming over to change her mind and was crying her fucking eyes out in disgust/disappointment in what I did/what she had heard.
After I saw her she bolted out the door and I seriously considered killing myself.
Arkos
Nose how to spell and rede to
This is noob shit, sex is messy, prepare and execute (unless for some reason it was more messy than normal period sex)
However, I see Shinobi's quoted Vesmir post. And holy shit. I really hope that isn't true.
hawkshockey11
Banned
I lost my virginity on a log near a mosquito infested swamp. She kept getting distracted by the fireflies and we both just sort of slowly became not aroused. She dried up, I lost my boner. Woke up the next morning with mosquito bites EVERYWHERE.
Should probably add my second worst time.
About 2 months after the above story I answer a craigslist ad asking for a guy who isn't super rough sex choking etc etc.
Now I get to her place...and holy fuck she is BY FAR the hottest woman I have ever seen in person. It's really not even close. So we get down, and it's going pretty well, we made out/fondled and got rough the way she wanted talking dirty etc, and I had already went down on her no problems.
So let me preface this by stating that my junk is not exceptionally large, or small. Statistically I am basically slightly above average oh well. So we go to actually fuck, I get about 2 inches in and this girl is basically screaming her brains out/cumming, I try to go further and literally can't get more than 3ish inches in. Girl is also narrower than anyone I've ever been with.
We keep going at it as I hope she loosens up a bit and nope ... fucking SUCKED.
After about 5 min she asks me to stop because it hurts too much and she needed to rest, kisses me and says thanks, and then goes into her bedroom (we were on the couch) just leaving me blue balled and alone in her house.
She emailed a few times after but I wasn't really willing to be teased that bad again no matter how attractive she was. ugh.
About 2 months after the above story I answer a craigslist ad asking for a guy who isn't super rough sex choking etc etc.
Now I get to her place...and holy fuck she is BY FAR the hottest woman I have ever seen in person. It's really not even close. So we get down, and it's going pretty well, we made out/fondled and got rough the way she wanted talking dirty etc, and I had already went down on her no problems.
So let me preface this by stating that my junk is not exceptionally large, or small. Statistically I am basically slightly above average oh well. So we go to actually fuck, I get about 2 inches in and this girl is basically screaming her brains out/cumming, I try to go further and literally can't get more than 3ish inches in. Girl is also narrower than anyone I've ever been with.
We keep going at it as I hope she loosens up a bit and nope ... fucking SUCKED.
After about 5 min she asks me to stop because it hurts too much and she needed to rest, kisses me and says thanks, and then goes into her bedroom (we were on the couch) just leaving me blue balled and alone in her house.
She emailed a few times after but I wasn't really willing to be teased that bad again no matter how attractive she was. ugh.
That mixed with your avatar is hilarious.
AwesomePossum
Member
me and my girlfriend got high and i told her to get on her knees so i can cum on her face. (we did it earlier when we were drunk), she then got mad and left my house in a huff.
i've now decided never to mix weed and sex.
i've now decided never to mix weed and sex.
MrOogieBoogie
BioShock Infinite is like playing some homeless guy's vivid imagination
Well, that's enough of this thread for today.
I had an ex who supposedly didn't enjoy sex unless she had a few. Anyway, one night she got EXTREMELY drunk, we started doing it, and then after a while she sort of clawed my left cheek really lightly. I reacted to the clawing (even though it didn't hurt at all) and then she just got super upset at the prospect of having harmed me. She started crying and everything. Complete mood killer.
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
I had a similar experience except my hookup was fun. She was hot as hell too, petite body with 34 DD breasts. You always hear those stories about being catfished on Craigslist but you can luck out once in a blue moon. (Well looks wise for you anyway)
At a funeral
A coworker of hers died and we attended his funeral. After all the handshaking, condolences, etc we were mingling. While we were conversing she gives me a look. THAT look. The look that says she wants the d.
She tells me she needs to get something from her coat. In order to not come across as an impolite ahole and because shes amazing when she gives that look I join her.
Back in the coatroom, we find a blind corner and start making out, stripping down and stroking each other.
I push her to the ground and get on top of her. While we are fucking, the door opens. We stop and lay very still. It's the deceased's mom and a friend. She's crying over her son and I'm just lying there with my head on a tit. I start to feel incredibly bad when all of a sudden I feel her hips starting to girate again, using her legs to push me inside her.
After they left, she kicks it up a notch and starts fucking me like there's no tomorrow. I'm terribly conflicted at this moment.
My head tells me to stop, my dick wants to go on: she looks fine in those stockings, high heels, thong pushed to the side, boobs pulled out of her bra, her hair still tidy and posh...
Eventually I nut inside her but it doesn't feel right. I have never been so sad after hot and good sex ever.
wow...
plasmawave
Banned
At a funeral
A coworker of hers died and we attended his funeral. After all the handshaking, condolences, etc we were mingling. While we were conversing she gives me a look. THAT look. The look that says she wants the d.
She tells me she needs to get something from her coat. In order to not come across as an impolite ahole and because shes amazing when she gives that look I join her.
Back in the coatroom, we find a blind corner and start making out, stripping down and stroking each other.
I push her to the ground and get on top of her. While we are fucking, the door opens. We stop and lay very still. It's the deceased's mom and a friend. She's crying over her son and I'm just lying there with my head on a tit. I start to feel incredibly bad when all of a sudden I feel her hips starting to girate again, using her legs to push me inside her.
After they left, she kicks it up a notch and starts fucking me like there's no tomorrow. I'm terribly conflicted at this moment.
My head tells me to stop, my dick wants to go on: she looks fine in those stockings, high heels, thong pushed to the side, boobs pulled out of her bra, her hair still tidy and posh...
Eventually I nut inside her but it doesn't feel right. I have never been so sad after hot and good sex ever.
....
tauroxd
Member
Hello dear Neogaf reader,
If you are just joining us... a quick recap in a gif... bon appetit...
You're awesome. Never change, please.
- Status