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My coworker thinks I'm stalking her because I found her home address on a website

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H

Hex

Banned
Lionel Mandrake said:
For those of you just joining us...

cURLrmC.jpg


It was the best of times, it was the creepiest of times, as one unfortunate young lady came to realize after a brief encounter with our OP, jadedm17. It all began when the two exchanged pleasantries and agreed to share a meal together in what was certain to be a run-of-the-mill case of an awkward first date.

But then things turned sinister. jadedm17 decided to search online and find this lady on a database, which had her name, address, birthday, and other such fascinating information. Now, jadedm claims that he only did this out of boredom after he coincidentally stumbled over the database the day after meeting this girl. To most of GAF, the timing seemed suspect.

Now, like most creeps, our OP could have gone about his life without anyone knowing about his seedy detective work, but unfortunately, jadedm17 made the classic stalker's mistake-- he let his stalking become known. When the two continued chatting after his search, the young woman asked about jadedm's birthday... Like... normal people do, as opposed to delving into some weird deepweb bullshit. When she heard that his birthday was in July, she remarked that they shared the same birth month.

jadedm17 replied:
0OWE4xN.gif


Unfortunately, instead of coming across as a cool and charming space pirate, he just came across as a total weirdo. But jadedm17 was quick to explain that he knew through the totally normal and innocent method of searching some strange online database of Florida residents, thus making the second fatal stalker's mistake-- not even knowing just what the hell a woman is, I guess. She quickly retreated to the restroom where she confided to a mutual acquaintance that jadedm17 was creeping her out. Said acquaintance then informed our would-be Romeo that he had totally dropped the ball.

Now, while jadedm wanted to hear similar tales of misunderstanding to ease his mind, instead he was bombarded with what could best be summarized as "What the hell, bro?" Of course, he was quick to defend himself, trying his best to make it seem as if he did a totally normal thing.





And then he said these words for some reason...





Yet, he never admitted to doing anything that might be unsettling.



And along the way SunhiLegend stopped by for an accurate recreation of the thread's events...



So, that's the state of things currently. There's been some brief debate between stalkers and normal people about what constitutes true stalking, a lot of jokes at the OPs expense, and a lot of women making sure that their blinds are closed.

Now, the world waits to see what will happen next. Will jadedm17 make amends with his coworker? Will he learn to respect people's desire for privacy? How do you even use these databases anyway... Like... You know, just out of curiosity. Not to track down former business partners of a failed airline and exact revenge using training and connections obtained after joining the yakuza, or anything like that. That would be silly. I certainly wouldn't do that.... That's crazy. Even if I was a rogue yakuza enforcer-- which I'm not-- I wouldn't do that. It would bring shame to my oyabun. But just like... how do you use these things, hypothetically?

Let's find out...
Click to expand...


LOL I have missed these more than you know
 
I

ItIsOkBro

Member
jadedm17 said:
My first girlfriend was at 17 and we dated four years. Around two years in I had a roadtrip with a crush (brothers wifes niece) and wanted to make a move. I spent two hours on the phone with my girlfriend breaking up. Minutes later I tried to kiss my crush and got rejected bad. The next few days were awkward.

My girlfriend and I got back together the next day.

My crush greeted me years later at a mall excited to see me.

Im awkward and weird sometimes. Life is akward and weird sometimes. We move on.
Click to expand...

brother's wife's niece...brother's..wife's..niece...

giphy.gif


boy that's your niece as well
 
M

massoluk

Banned
Dark_castle said:
So are we gonna ignore the fact that OP somehow heard the girl said he stalked her in the... bathroom?
Click to expand...

Nuu said:
Pretty much. I'm all for a ribbing thread, but this is kind of dumb.

This is concerning though.
Click to expand...
You guys didn't read Lionel Mandrake recap or watch Sunhilegend vid, did you?

Also OP dude didn't google.

ItIsOkBro said:
brother's wife's niece...brother's..wife's..niece...

boy that's your niece as well
Click to expand...
Oh boy
 
T

televator

Member
newtypepilot said:
WOW OP...not only a stalker but even tried to make advances on his cousin....

also had a "friend" who waited outside to try to pet the neighbour's pussy

WTF
Click to expand...

Waited outside for 10 goddamn minutes... just staring at them through the window the whole time. The husband had to come out and enforce. FUCKING LOL
 
C

commedieu

Banned
", thus making the second fatal stalker's mistake-- not even knowing just what the hell a woman is, I guess. "

Fucking roflmao.
 
O

OmegaSmash

Member
Innocent looking title + 20+ pages in nearly 2 days = major chance of fuckery and a Lionel Mandrake/SunhiLegend legendary post. God I love these.
 
C

chefbags

Member
Posting cause man the legends came through here lol. And the fucking gif replies are so good haha. I fucking can't with this thread.
 
K

Kevdo

Member
Brother's wife's niece doesn't mean it's your own niece. Your own niece would be your brother's child. You count your brother's wife's sibling's child as your own niece? Absolutely no blood relation at all.
 
H

Herr Schwarz

Banned
Lol that sunhilegend video was hilarious! Poor poor OP :(

I can't remember the other video he did, (Sunhilegend) I wasn't a member then something about "white knighting" or ratting on a friend.

Funny as all heck
 
M

massoluk

Banned
Kevdo said:
Brother's wife's niece doesn't mean it's your own niece. Your own niece would be your brother's child. You count your brother's wife's sibling's child as your own niece? Absolutely no blood relation at all.
Click to expand...
Uh, I call my brother in law's niece as a niece. How else do you differentiate generational gap in extended family.
 
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