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Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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Leeness

Member
He sounds like one of those DC elite who has nothing but ham off a freshly slaughtered pig for breakfast. For us common folk, Greek yogurt is great. Good macros, versatile, and delicious!

Right. Omg. Lawyers.

Nothing! I still eat full-fat plain Greek yogurt with some powdered stevia. I'm just trying a low-carb thing to get fitter.

Fiiiiine :p Low carb is good, trying to do the same. That's my breakfast, Greek yogurt with Splenda and a bit of protein powder for flavour. Yum.
 
That post should be in the next thread. The best part is that it's universal: it doesn't only apply to dating. Becoming a better person is a lifelong lesson and it doesn't matter if your single, married, or otherwise.

I was one of those that thought a girlfriend would fix everything. It didn't. It took years of self improvement to get where I am now, and even then I'm still trying to learn more. I wish I could go back and tell 15 year old me that a username emphasizing your solititude and narcissistic intelligence is just embarrassing and you should really come up with something better before you use it on an Internet forum, but we all have regrets.
 

Salamando

Member
That post should be in the next thread. The best part is that it's universal: it doesn't only apply to dating. Becoming a better person is a lifelong lesson and it doesn't matter if your single, married, or otherwise.

I was one of those that thought a girlfriend would fix everything. It didn't. It took years of self improvement to get where I am now, and even then I'm still trying to learn more. I wish I could go back and tell 15 year old me that a username emphasizing your solititude and narcissistic intelligence is just embarrassing and you should really come up with something better before you use it on an Internet forum, but we all have regrets.
Everyone's early internet history is embarrassing. I ran a Mega Man/Pokemon RPG through a Geocities page. My friend ran a Sonic sprite comic
he still does...

I'm firmly in that "become a more interesting person" stage of building yourself up. Just left the US for the first time to head to Japan. Oh, there be stories to be had here. So wasn't prepared for a Japanese men's locked room....main benefit of glasses, you can blind yourself at will.
 

Bass260

Member
Gaf...I am struggling and need desperate help.

So Saturday night after a fun day with my GF, she calls me and says she cannot 100% love me and that we should just be friends. She said she would end up hurting me more down the line so she has to end things now. And that she cannot commit to me. This is a girl that I thought I shared a huge connection with and, this news was out of nowhere. I told her that I completely understand if she does not feel 100% and to think things through. She is also under the "end of semester" stress with exams and finals. I told her to take care of those and to call me after. That was Saturday night and she is finished on Wednesday. I will also note we are both 21. Maybe she wasn't looking for anything serious?

Throughout the week everything was normal - sex, hanging out, laughs, dinner...the usual relationship stuff. No fighting. And yes we were 100% dating - she would introduce me as her BF to her classmates, friends, etc. Even in the past few days that stayed constant and it's why I'm incredibly perplexed. Why keep up the guise of relationship if you are about to tear it down. Is this common?

So my questions are - is she just a girl who cannot commit? Is she afraid of being hurt in the future? Did I make the right move by giving her complete space? And should I move on, regardless? This was the first girl in years that I was really into and have no idea what to do.

I am certain I will talk with her on Wednesday but I want to understand the situation fully. Thank you Gaf.
 
Gaf...I am struggling and need desperate help.

So Saturday night after a fun day with my GF, she calls me and says she cannot 100% love me and that we should just be friends. She said she would end up hurting me more down the line so she has to end things now. And that she cannot commit to me. This is a girl that I thought I shared a huge connection with and, this news was out of nowhere. I told her that I completely understand if she does not feel 100% and to think things through. She is also under the "end of semester" stress with exams and finals. I told her to take care of those and to call me after. That was Saturday night and she is finished on Wednesday. I will also note we are both 21. Maybe she wasn't looking for anything serious?

Throughout the week everything was normal - sex, hanging out, laughs, dinner...the usual relationship stuff. No fighting. And yes we were 100% dating - she would introduce me as her BF to her classmates, friends, etc. Even in the past few days that stayed constant and it's why I'm incredibly perplexed. Why keep up the guise of relationship if you are about to tear it down. Is this common?

So my questions are - is she just a girl who cannot commit? Is she afraid of being hurt in the future? Did I make the right move by giving her complete space? And should I move on, regardless? This was the first girl in years that I was really into and have no idea what to do.

I am certain I will talk with her on Wednesday but I want to understand the situation fully. Thank you Gaf.

Sounds like there's someone else.
 

Leeness

Member
Us plebs eat Yoplait and we like it.

All dat sugar tho.
Had a rice crispy square today. Damnit.

That post should be in the next thread. The best part is that it's universal: it doesn't only apply to dating. Becoming a better person is a lifelong lesson and it doesn't matter if your single, married, or otherwise.

I was one of those that thought a girlfriend would fix everything. It didn't. It took years of self improvement to get where I am now, and even then I'm still trying to learn more. I wish I could go back and tell 15 year old me that a username emphasizing your solititude and narcissistic intelligence is just embarrassing and you should really come up with something better before you use it on an Internet forum, but we all have regrets.

My internet history is embarrassing. My internet now is embarrassing. I'm pretty much damaged beyond repair but I guess that's just how I am and I'm good with that haha. Still will work on self improvement for me though.
 
My internet history is embarrassing. My internet now is embarrassing. I'm pretty much damaged beyond repair but I guess that's just how I am and I'm good with that haha. Still will work on self improvement for me though.

It's seriously okay!

Look at what I posted. It's some pretty embarrassing shit. It's how I was, and I'm okay with that too, and I'm finally learning how to be comfortable with who I was, who I am, and who I might be.

. . . brb, I'll see you in the JtV and CXGF threads.
 
That post should be in the next thread. The best part is that it's universal: it doesn't only apply to dating. Becoming a better person is a lifelong lesson and it doesn't matter if your single, married, or otherwise.

I was one of those that thought a girlfriend would fix everything. It didn't. It took years of self improvement to get where I am now, and even then I'm still trying to learn more. I wish I could go back and tell 15 year old me that a username emphasizing your solititude and narcissistic intelligence is just embarrassing and you should really come up with something better before you use it on an Internet forum, but we all have regrets.

All dat sugar tho.
Had a rice crispy square today. Damnit.



My internet history is embarrassing. My internet now is embarrassing. I'm pretty much damaged beyond repair but I guess that's just how I am and I'm good with that haha. Still will work on self improvement for me though.

Can't be worse than my early (mid 90s) posting under the name of the elf character from an epic comic I was writing/drawing. Possibly the lamest ever. Hell, now it's my name from when I used to try to do Jackie Chan-like stunts and fights (with pitiful results).

Also, I gained 2 lbs on my diet last week. Wtf.
 

Leeness

Member
It's seriously okay!

Look at what I posted. It's some pretty embarrassing shit. It's how I was, and I'm okay with that too, and I'm finally learning how to be comfortable with who I was, who I am, and who I might be.

. . . brb, I'll see you in the JtV and CXGF threads.

I still post embarrassing shit every day hahaha. It's not how I was, it's how I still am. Oh well. Like I said, damage beyond repair but fine with that.

CXGF 😩 Will probably have to watch Jane tomorrow.

Can't be worse than my early (mid 90s) posting under the name of the elf character from an epic comic I was writing/drawing. Possibly the lamest ever. Hell, now it's my name from when I used to try to do Jackie Chan-like stunts and fights (with pitiful results).

Also, I gained 2 lbs on my diet last week. Wtf.

I can't even talk about some of my old net stuff. Jesus.

Arg, hate when that happens. I'm not weighing myself right now because I need to get my eating back under control for like a month first before I go and weigh myself.
 

Salamando

Member
Can't be worse than my early (mid 90s) posting under the name of the elf character from an epic comic I was writing/drawing. Possibly the lamest ever. Hell, now it's my name from when I used to try to do Jackie Chan-like stunts and fights (with pitiful results).

Also, I gained 2 lbs on my diet last week. Wtf.
Dem gains? Protein, bro. 1g per pound bodyweight.
 
Stumbled across this Vice article today. All I can say is that I hope most women aren't like the people featured here. Also kind of a PSA that male virginity has a real stigma attached to it. Those guys committed the sin of being clingy as fuck, but that doesn't excuse the women's attitude towards them. Would like to know what DatingAge thinks. Surprised that the author even has friends tbh. Some choice quotes here, won't post the actual article here because of NSFW drawing.

I was at a guy's house party, and we kissed in the backyard after polishing off the last of the Strongbow, before going up to his room. There were some clues that he was a complete novice—he'd clearly never encountered a bra before, and his kisses sent saliva pouring down my chin. We ended up having good, old fashioned missionary sex, but it still took him ages to find the right hole. Seconds later, it was over.

The next morning I woke up to him looking into my eyes and stroking my hair. He said, "Good morning, sexy," and kissed my head, which was in severe pain thanks to all the Strongbow. Then he whispered in my ear: "Not bad for my first time, shall we try a new position for my second go?"

He dropped the bomb that I was his first time while asking if we could go again. Then he asked if we could hang out and date properly, promising he could be a great man for me. I sympathized—this was his first time, and he was obviously excited, but I couldn't really handle it, so I made my excuses and left as soon as possible.

What followed was a barrage of messages and calls, asking when we could meet up, why I couldn't open myself up to him (ew), and how he didn't want "one of the best nights of his life" to be a one-off. After a few weeks of me ignoring him, he got the message and left me alone, but I'll never forget waking up to those puppy dog eyes. Lesson here: be cautious of the intoxicating power of the pussy.

I moved back home a year ago after a bad break up and started working in a bar. The bar manager—let's call him Jay—was a guy close to my age. After months of flirting, and the time I gave him a quick blowjob when we were changing the barrels, we went on a date. Afterward we went back to his parents' house—which should have been a warning sign in retrospect, but how could I judge? I was back at home, too.

Once we got to his room, he couldn't keep it up. I thought it was because he was drunk. Now I realize it's probably because he was nervous. It didn't last long, but he was very well-endowed, so I had high hopes for future hook-ups. After sleeping with him a few times and him struggling to keep it up each time, I had a chat with him about it, and he revealed that he'd never slept with anyone before. He'd "done stuff" with plenty of people, but since falling in love with someone who was engaged—a one-sided love affair that went on for a couple of years—he'd never got to a position where sex was about to happen. Fair enough.

I couldn't sleep with him after that, though—it made me feel kind of gross and weird about the whole thing. He had troubles having penetrative sex, and I didn't want a casual hook-up to develop into me having to help him through his issues. I know that sounds horrible, but it's true. I've got my own shit to deal with.
 

Llyranor

Member
You can't let people with bad attitudes affect your outlook on life. If you're a virgin at a certain age (secret: IT DOESN'T MATTER), the right girl for you is not going to care. So what if some stuck-up girl becomes all judgemental?

The main point is to not make a big deal about it. If it stresses you that much, just lie through your teeth and never admit to it and say it's been a long time since, re: you being rusty. Ultimately, IT DOESN'T MATTER. So don't MAKE a big deal out of it in your head.
 
You can't let people with bad attitudes affect your outlook on life. If you're a virgin at a certain age (secret: IT DOESN'T MATTER), the right girl for you is not going to care. So what if some stuck-up girl becomes all judgemental?

The main point is to not make a big deal about it. If it stresses you that much, just lie through your teeth and never admit to it and say it's been a long time since, re: you being rusty. Ultimately, IT DOESN'T MATTER. So don't MAKE a big deal out of it in your head.

My reaction to this article is that this validates my view that you can't trust anyone. A girl may seem nice, have friends, etc, but it takes something really insignificant like this to make their true face show. Really kills my trust in humanity reading stuff like this. Yeah, my go to dating history if someone ever brings it up (like acquaintances at a bar or something) is that I've had a looong dry spell and my last proper period of dating was when I was 17 and in high school and I went out with a chick from my year briefly.
 

Salamando

Member
Stumbled across this Vice article today. All I can say is that I hope most women aren't like the people featured here. Also kind of a PSA that male virginity has a real stigma attached to it. Those guys committed the sin of being clingy as fuck, but that doesn't excuse the women's attitude towards them. Would like to know what DatingAge thinks. Surprised that the author even has friends tbh. Some choice quotes here, won't post the actual article here because of NSFW drawing.
Don't use this article to justify your "I'm a virgin" fears. Victimizing yourself gets you nowhere, and in neither of the stories was virginity the problem. It was how the men dealt with theirs.

In the first, the man simply got too attached too quick. I've been in a very similar situation with a girl...she wasn't a virgin, but after one night she made it damn clear she was far more into me than I was her. So like the story, I nope'd the fuck out of there.

The second story, the girl tried to work with the guy, but he clearly wasn't in the proper mindset to be in a relationship.
 

Llyranor

Member
My reaction to this article is that this validates my view that you can't trust anyone. A girl may seem nice, have friends, etc, but it takes something really insignificant like this to make their true face show. Really kills my trust in humanity reading stuff like this.

The virginity status is insignificant. The clinginess and making a big deal out of it and putting the girl on the pedestal after one night is significant.

Virginity is just a physical status. It's when you let it affect your state of mind in a negative way that it becomes a problem.
 
I met two awesome girls about 2 weeks ago.

A (we will call her A) is cute, amazing professional artist, great friends, support group, career/talent, personality.
problem is she doesnt do it for me sex wise. I have slept with her a couple times and its not been great, but literally everything else is amazing. She also smokes which may be killing my mojo.

R is very very attractive, has great taste and drive, has her shit together and our chemistry (whatever it is) is fantastic and the sex is some of the best i have had in the 20 some partners i have had in the past couple months.
Problem is she is still in school and her after school path is iffy, she is a bit younger.

They both are good fits for me for different reasons and im actually torn and really like both but dont want to lead either of them on, so think i should decide pretty soon.

if possible just becoming friends with A would be amazing.

A
Looks 7
Sex 6
Personality 9.75
Career/Drive 8

R
Looks 8.5
Sex 9.5
Personality 7
Career/Drive 5 (hasnt started yet)
 
My reaction to this article is that this validates my view that you can't trust anyone. A girl may seem nice, have friends, etc, but it takes something really insignificant like this to make their true face show. Really kills my trust in humanity reading stuff like this. Yeah, my go to dating history if someone ever brings it up (like acquaintances at a bar or something) is that I've had a looong dry spell and my last proper period of dating was when I was 17 and in high school and I went out with a chick from my year briefly.
Honestly his clingy behavior is beyond clingy, it's very creepy. If I were to retell the story, i'd probably, in hindsight, describe he events in the same way. I've slept with virgins and didn't think anything of their lack of experience. That behavior however would super sleeve me out.

But I'm also a stone cold bitch.
 

vern

Member
I met two awesome girls about 2 weeks ago.

A (we will call her A) is cute, amazing professional artist, great friends, support group, career/talent, personality.
problem is she doesnt do it for me sex wise. I have slept with her a couple times and its not been great, but literally everything else is amazing. She also smokes which may be killing my mojo.

R is very very attractive, has great taste and drive, has her shit together and our chemistry (whatever it is) is fantastic and the sex is some of the best i have had in the 20 some partners i have had in the past couple months.
Problem is she is still in school and her after school path is iffy, she is a bit younger.

They both are good fits for me for different reasons and im actually torn and really like both but dont want to lead either of them on, so think i should decide pretty soon.

if possible just becoming friends with A would be amazing.

A
Looks 7
Sex 6
Personality 9.75
Career/Drive 8

R
Looks 8.5
Sex 9.5
Personality 7
Career/Drive 5 (hasnt started yet)


R. Smoking and bad sex can't overcome that 9.75 personality.

Or just keep smanging away, 20 in last few months rivals neogaf's zackiechan.
 
My reaction to this article is that this validates my view that you can't trust anyone. A girl may seem nice, have friends, etc, but it takes something really insignificant like this to make their true face show. Really kills my trust in humanity reading stuff like this. Yeah, my go to dating history if someone ever brings it up (like acquaintances at a bar or something) is that I've had a looong dry spell and my last proper period of dating was when I was 17 and in high school and I went out with a chick from my year briefly.

That dude in the first story is fucking weird. Who thinks that shit is a good idea? Those girls aint nice but who cares? If you are clingy even the nicest person is gonna nope the fuck out. Those guys re lucky. They got the sex, use it to shake off your "this is a big deal" garbage and act nornal.
 

GK86

Homeland Security Fail
I know it is easy for those of us who have had sex, to say it isn't a big deal, or at least not as big of a deal society makes of it, but it isn't a big deal.

I can understand the emotions, the feelings, and the pressure virgins (especially guys) go through. You don't have to tell them if you don't want to. Don't feel obligated to let that info be known. If the sex is bad (and chances are it will be), they will think it was just bad sex. Bad sex happens to everyone, including those that are experienced.

I would do what Llyranor said and just tell them you were rusty/haven't had sex in a long time or were nervous. Which again, is something that happens to even experienced people.

The biggest thing you should take away from that article is don't be a clingy fuck.
 

Denzar

Member
GAF, once again I come to you for advice. I feel like total shit. This weekend I organised a rock show and a girl I hadn't seen in a long time came to check the bands. My ex was also present. This ex hasn't been able to let me go for close to 5 years now. We have the same gang of friends. I've been very clear to her that we are through and that I want to move on. VERY clear. For several years. She refuses to believe me. I've come to dating-GAF for advice concerning her before. She has threatened with suicide, she has mentally destroyed me and made me feel guilty about everything I did. I've written off myself just so I wouldn't hurt her again. I've developed a fear of turning down girls and hurting people in general. All because of her. I went to see a therapist (still do) and I've made strides and feel a lot better now. No longer insecure, and I've been able to not write myself off in favor of somebody else lately.

Now, I've kissed other girls in her presence before, but I made sure she didn't see it 'cause I don't want her to lose her shit or get hurt. A friend told me that I should not adjust my behavior just to save her emotions, so if I want to kiss a girl while she's around, then I should do so without hiding it from her.

So that's what I did Saturday. I kissed this girl that I had not seen in a very long time while she saw it. Several times. It feels as if that was a total dick move on my behalf, and I feel like shit for it.

Was I wrong in kissing that girl while she could see it?
 

Denzar

Member
Why do you feel responsible for her feelings?

She just dropped a letter in my mailbox in which she tells me she finds it disrespectful.

It's something that developed during my (rough) childhood. I always feel responsible for someone else's feelings when they're close to me. EDIT: or were close to me.

EDIT: And I know I shouldn't feel that way. I'm working on that. Really hard. Therapy, etc...
 
She just dropped a letter in my mailbox in which she tells me she finds it disrespectful.

It's something that developed during my (rough) childhood. I always feel responsible for someone else's feelings when they're close to me.

EDIT: And I know I shouldn't feel that way. I'm working on that. Really hard. Therapy, etc...

All you can do is ignore her completely and just live your life man. Its been 5yrs. Any interactions you two have needs to be like 10 words at most. If she drops you another letter dont read it. Shred it and throww it in the trash.
 
R. Smoking and bad sex can't overcome that 9.75 personality.

Or just keep smanging away, 20 in last few months rivals neogaf's zackiechan.

Ayyy lmao. I been on a long dry spell, actually.

Stumbled across this Vice article today. All I can say is that I hope most women aren't like the people featured here. Also kind of a PSA that male virginity has a real stigma attached to it. Those guys committed the sin of being clingy as fuck, but that doesn't excuse the women's attitude towards them. Would like to know what DatingAge thinks. Surprised that the author even has friends tbh. Some choice quotes here, won't post the actual article here because of NSFW drawing.

She sounds like someone I'd like to kick it with, honestly.
 
Stumbled across this Vice article today. All I can say is that I hope most women aren't like the people featured here. Also kind of a PSA that male virginity has a real stigma attached to it. Those guys committed the sin of being clingy as fuck, but that doesn't excuse the women's attitude towards them. Would like to know what DatingAge thinks. Surprised that the author even has friends tbh. Some choice quotes here, won't post the actual article here because of NSFW drawing.

Haven't read the article, but these quotes don't seem bad at all. I don't have a negative impression of the woman and am having a hard time understanding how one could.
 

Leeness

Member
Stumbled across this Vice article today. All I can say is that I hope most women aren't like the people featured here. Also kind of a PSA that male virginity has a real stigma attached to it. Those guys committed the sin of being clingy as fuck, but that doesn't excuse the women's attitude towards them. Would like to know what DatingAge thinks. Surprised that the author even has friends tbh. Some choice quotes here, won't post the actual article here because of NSFW drawing.

Oh please. Dudes were clingy, girls acted pretty appropriately.
 
After reading this all over again and really thinking this over, I'm starting to realize now that their reaction wasn't that bad to the clingyness, but the fact that someone being a virgin was a 'bombshell' to them was offputting to me and I interpret this as a loss of respect for the guy only because of his virgin status. I would have some empathy for the men who were being clingy considering their inexperience. They have to learn from their mistakes somehow, and I feel society shoves this idea into people's minds that 'virgin male=loser, guys should get laid loads', so how they acted is kind of understandable to an extent. Learning not to be clingy comes with experience or good guidance and advice I suppose. I would be pretty fucking embarrassed if I was the guy at the house party and acted like that afterward, because the girl he was being clingy to would probably tell everyone she knows about him, and that everyone she knows will avoid him. I definitely care too much about what other people think of me, and I care far too much about negative judgement if I ever mess up and make a mistake like that, and I have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I, like everyone else, am ultimately disposable and can be easily ignored.

My friend has acted kind of like the first guy before, when he brought a girl home from the club and he was inexperienced and used to attach a huge meaning to sex, so he caught serious feels, putting the girl off. My main problem with my inexperience is that it signifies that I fail to connect meaningfully with other people.
 

Llyranor

Member
They have to learn from their mistakes somehow. I mean, yes. But it's not those girls' job to teach them that. Those girls don't owe those guys anything. Sure, they could be more understanding, but empathy != sexual attraction. And going all 'FINALLY A GIRL WHO WILL SLEEP WITH ME!!!' gives off desperation vibes that will turn people away.

They'll learn with the next girl.
 

War Peaceman

You're a big guy.
And what did those girls do that was so bad?

The second one particularly seems like she was quite empathetic but was also keen not to string him along when she wasn't committed. She didn't seem to care that he was a virgin, just that they weren't sexually compatible.

There's no evidence that they told all their friends about this (ps this rarely happens with adults). An anonymous interview that will almost certainly never be read by them doesn't count.
 
Right. This particular woman wants to hook up. The article isn't meant for women/men looking for love and a special first time. Guys should be aware of the woman's intentions, I suppose.
 

Llyranor

Member
PSST DID YOU HEAR ABOUT JONATHAN?

WHO? THE NEW GUY?

YEAH, DID YOU HEAR HE WAS A VIRGIN?

WHAT??? TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE BEDROOM HABITS OF THIS PERSON I BARELY KNOW!

BERTHA TOLD ME!! SHE DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS, OTHERWISE SHE WOULD HAVE NEVER HAVE SLEPT WITH HIM! VIRGINS ARE SO BENEATH HER!

I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE GOT TRICKED! HOW EMBARRASSING!! LMAO

ANYWAY, WHAT A LOSER, THAT GUY! LET'S MAKE HIM A SOCIAL PARIAH, BECAUSE WE ARE GROWN ADULTS WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO!!

OH MAN, THIS LAW SCHOOL REUNION IS SO FULL OF SURPRISES!


1) This doesn't happen
2) In the unlikelihood that it does, change social circles
 
Right. This particular woman wants to hook up. The article isn't meant for women/men looking for love and a special first time. Guys should be aware of the woman's intentions, I suppose.

Yup.

So, I'm not very experienced (even after, or perhaps because of, three years of marriage). My girlfriend is. My last girlfriend was. The girls I was seeing before that -- them too. So, anyway, the girl I'm with, while she admits it's a struggle for her because she doesn't want to teach me, is willing to work on it.

I would not be a suitable hookup candidate for her, but apparently I'm a decent boyfriend.

Then again, having a few bad hookups which lead to less bad hookups which lead to better hookups -- that's fine too. After all, you're not going to contact them again, right?

ANYWAY, WHAT A LOSER, THAT GUY! LET'S MAKE HIM A SOCIAL PARIAH, BECAUSE WE ARE GROWN ADULTS WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO!!

OH MAN, THIS LAW SCHOOL REUNION IS SO FULL OF SURPRISES!

Dude, pls. ;_;
 
PSST DID YOU HEAR ABOUT JONATHAN?

WHO? THE NEW GUY?

YEAH, DID YOU HEAR HE WAS A VIRGIN?

WHAT??? TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE BEDROOM HABITS OF THIS PERSON I BARELY KNOW!

BERTHA TOLD ME!! SHE DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS, OTHERWISE SHE WOULD HAVE NEVER HAVE SLEPT WITH HIM! VIRGINS ARE SO BENEATH HER!

I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE GOT TRICKED! HOW EMBARRASSING!! LMAO

ANYWAY, WHAT A LOSER, THAT GUY! LET'S MAKE HIM A SOCIAL PARIAH, BECAUSE WE ARE GROWN ADULTS WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO!!

OH MAN, THIS LAW SCHOOL REUNION IS SO FULL OF SURPRISES!


1) This doesn't happen
2) In the unlikelihood that it does, change social circles

I wasn't talking about guy 1's virginity, I was talking about his clinginess :p I feel that would make him a social pariah because that girl probably knows people he knows. I can probably see her going 'OMG Beth, you know about this weird guy I hooked up with at this party, guy was like so clingy afterwards, ew, what a weirdo, never talk to him, he's such a creeper' to her friends. But yeah, I see your point, I really should stop caring so much about what other people think. Never had a real close friend in my entire life, only situational 'friends' who barely could be called 'friends', come to think of it, so being like a puppy looking for others' approval because I hate myself is like second nature for me. I wish I could easily shrug off a ghosting by thinking 'meh, her loss' and moving on immediately afterwards, but I can't help but take it personally for some reason.
 
I wasn't talking about guy 1's virginity, I was talking about his clinginess :p I feel that would make him a social pariah because that girl probably knows people he knows. I can probably see her going 'OMG Beth, you know about this weird guy I hooked up with at this party, guy was like so clingy afterwards, ew, what a weirdo, never talk to him, he's such a creeper' to her friends. But yeah, I see your point, I really should stop caring so much about what other people think. Never had a real close friend in my entire life, only situational 'friends' who barely could be called 'friends', come to think of it, so being like a puppy looking for others' approval because I hate myself is like second nature for me. I wish I could easily shrug off a ghosting by thinking 'meh, her loss' and moving on immediately afterwards, but I can't help but take it personally for some reason.

Unfortunately, those hangups are your problem, not theirs. Ghosting and hating clinginess are all part of the game. It's time to break out of puppy mode, man. Again, would you want to date you?
 
I wasn't talking about guy 1's virginity, I was talking about his clinginess :p I feel that would make him a social pariah because that girl probably knows people he knows. I can probably see her going 'OMG Beth, you know about this weird guy I hooked up with at this party, guy was like so clingy afterwards, ew, what a weirdo, never talk to him, he's such a creeper' to her friends.

Dude still had sex so where exactly is his position worse than before? Despite the way you seem to be posing this, just cause you smash once and are now technically not a virgin, doesn't suddenly mean you're gonna be good at sex immediately after. You're still gonna suck. Because everyone comparatively sucks their first time. Don't put stalk into it. Just like, have fun and go with the flow and w/e happens happens. But don't say all this weird shit about "hey sexy", "wanna do a new position for my second time" and all this other weird sstuff. And like, the reality is people talk. If you can't handle Beth and her friends gossip you can't handle dating bruh.

But yeah, I see your point, I really should stop caring so much about what other people think. Never had a real close friend in my entire life, only situational 'friends' who barely could be called 'friends', come to think of it, so being like a puppy looking for others' approval because I hate myself is like second nature for me. I wish I could easily shrug off a ghosting by thinking 'meh, her loss' and moving on immediately afterwards, but I can't help but take it personally for some reason.

Well, you shouldn't be dating til you figure this shit out because clinginess is born outta this. Making friends can be tough but it starts from a place of trying to be genuine and not forcing the issue.
 

bluethree

Member
My reaction to this article is that this validates my view that you can't trust anyone. A girl may seem nice, have friends, etc, but it takes something really insignificant like this to make their true face show. Really kills my trust in humanity reading stuff like this. Yeah, my go to dating history if someone ever brings it up (like acquaintances at a bar or something) is that I've had a looong dry spell and my last proper period of dating was when I was 17 and in high school and I went out with a chick from my year briefly.

Seriously, it's not only a woman only thing. I know I nope the fuck out if a girl seems too clingy or weird. Waking up saying "hey sexy" and being too concerned about the next time are not insignificant imo - most women would very rightfully see them as red flags.
 
A. came over last night and we made sushi and everything up until sex was great... It was probably the worst time yet. Ill have to talk to her today.

R. threatened voting for trump if bernie loses to burn it all down. We had a pretty in depth political conversation that i think she has good goals but a bad path.

I jumped back on OKC/bumble and started hedging my bets. New date thursday night.
 
I don't know if I'm totally ready to date yet, just got out of a relationship and it's barely been two weeks. For some reason, still talking to the ex but I'm already at the point that I know for a fact that I need to move on.

Is it possible for me to work on myself and still find the time to date or even meet new people? I feel this is something I need right now, to meet new people to date or hang out with. My self-confidence did take a bit of a hit because of the ex, but setting up profiles on Tinder and OKCupid did make me feel confident again.

Only problem is that so far, I haven't gotten a single match or reply back from anyone in either service. Ok, I did make some matches on Tinder but they're obviously fucking scams and it's so annoying.

Wtf am I doing wrong?
 
Nothing?

You can't expect to immediately get replies or get upset that people don't respond. If you want to move on at a faster pace than online dating moves, hit the local bars/clubs/meetuosw, etc
 
Nothing?

You can't expect to immediately get replies or get upset that people don't respond. If you want to move on at a faster pace than online dating moves, hit the local bars/clubs/meetuosw, etc

So... It can take days? XD

Holy shit man, I'm like so new to online dating I honestly didn't know the time frame for it. Most articles I've read don't really give you that.

Man, would you look at that. Someone just messaged me back on OkCupid lol!

Guess it pays to complain.

Edit: She basically just messaged me to let me know we weren't a match. Lol! Well, gotta keep trying.
 
So... It can take days? XD

Holy shit man, I'm like so new to online dating I honestly didn't know the time frame for it. Most articles I've read don't really give you that.

Man, would you look at that. Someone just messaged me back on OkCupid lol!

Guess it pays to complain.

Online dating is...hard. Prepare for no replies, ghosting, people leading you on, messaging traps, fake profiles, catfishing and flakers.

You need to be confident in who you are, able to take rejection and keep a level of detachment to get the most out of it.
 
Starting to care less and less about dating as time goes on. I'd rather build a fun social life first (easier said than done, eh). Putting the cart before the horse here. Reaching a mindset of apathy about the whole thing, which is good I guess. Girl on OkCupid I'm talking to is at university so can't meet me until mid May. My reaction mentally- 'meh,ok'.

About going to bars/clubs, I know nobody near me who wants to do that kind of thing, everyone I've met basically lives to work, basically. Talking to a bunch of people I meet at volunteering, I ask what hobbies they have and they reply that they don't have time for hobbies anymore, and they work most of the time. Taking a working holiday and staying in a hostel in Australia where I know nobody, essentially starting all over sounds more and more appealing. Ironically I worry about being boring only to find people who don't do much with their time either xD
 

turtle553

Member
Starting to care less and less about dating as time goes on. I'd rather build a fun social life first (easier said than done, eh). Putting the cart before the horse here. Reaching a mindset of apathy about the whole thing, which is good I guess. Girl on OkCupid I'm talking to is at university so can't meet me until mid May. My reaction mentally- 'meh,ok'.

About going to bars/clubs, I know nobody near me who wants to do that kind of thing, everyone I've met basically lives to work, basically. Talking to a bunch of people I meet at volunteering, I ask what hobbies they have and they reply that they don't have time for hobbies anymore, and they work most of the time. Taking a working holiday and staying in a hostel in Australia where I know nobody, essentially starting all over sounds more and more appealing. Ironically I worry about being boring only to find people who don't do much with their time either xD

Nothing wrong with just letting things happen naturally. I get burned out on online dating and dates stop being fun after a while.
 
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