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[Trogdor1123]

Already got them and they are great (most of the time).

Absolutely changes the way you see things and your approaches to stuff. Couldn't imagine it any other way.

i sometimes think about how much money they cost me just in their sports alone (easy 20k a year) and realize what else I could have gotten for that but when I see one succeed or have a great time with their friends it's all worth while.

 

[Hawking Radiation]

Already got them and they are great (most of the time).

Absolutely changes the way you see things and your approaches to stuff. Couldn't imagine it any other way.

i sometimes think about how much money they cost me just in their sports alone (easy 20k a year) and realize what else I could have gotten for that but when I see one succeed or have a great time with their friends it's all worth while.

That genuinely sounds great man.

 

[Trogdor1123]

That genuinely sounds great man.

It is, I'm pretty blessed.

But as many have said, it takes loads of time. It is worth it though. I'm far from a perfect Dad but I try.

 

[quickwhips]

Hell yes. Kids are so damn awesome. My five year old is so much fun to watch. We just started doing online rocket league and he scored his first goal in 3 vs 3. I was like just so happy. It's bad ass seeing him grow up and conquer stuff.

 

[Hawking Radiation]

Genuinely heart warming to hear you guys experiences as Dad's. Makes me want to call up my old man and have a chat even though I just did so yesterday.

Good on ya fellas and my God bless your family with many years of love and happiness and keep your families safe during these difficult times.

 

[StormCell]

They're a goddamn pain in the hole, eat everything in the fucking fridge, hog the bloody console and constantly demand shit.. I dread the day when the wee fuckers start hitting my beers

So just buy more of everything. More food. More consoles. More beer! Problems solved.

 

[Rentahamster]

I would love to have been able to have children, but I was born infertile. It wasn't meant for me, and I've made peace with that. Having four beautiful and precious nieces and nephews certainly helps.

My best friend and I completed foster care training together, but that was a few years before my gender transition. Being in Tennessee, I doubt I'm eligible for fostering these days, but my heart goes out for those poor kids.

I hope the law changes to accommodate you. I think you'd be a great parent.

 

[BigBooper]

No; I 'get it', but no.

More for them than me. Always an awkward thing in work situations when you get asked; you say no and people kinda stare at you... I always just say "didn't really work out and then I got kinda too old to start" which usually gets "you aren't too old!" but it's better than saying "Hey you don't know how absolutely fucked in the head I am co-worker/boss/client!"

That sounds like an offer.

I had a girl I met once offer to have kids with me about a week after I met her. Had to refuse that one.

 

[Chiggs]

Nope. It’s a dump of a world and only getting worse. If I end up changing my mind, I will fill out an application for adoption. That seems like a responsible thing to do, given all the trash-bag parents out there.

 

[Dr. Suchong]

No, I can’t stand them. So annoying with the constant whining and crying. Also, too expensive….shit’s expensive as it is. Oh and the world really doesn’t need more people polluting the planet. You might call me selfish but I think it’s selfish and cruel to be bringing kids into the world right now knowing where we’re heading in the next <70 years.

This.
Also, what is this frantic piffle that you're "Selfish" for NOT wanting Children? I've heard it said numerous times. Literally the stupidest thought process ever.
Having Children is a choice. Have them/don't have them. But please don't try to extol your Parenthood on me. Blehh..

 

[Doczu]

A lot of hardcore "no's" in this thread with the same bullet points:

• I'm too selfish
• I would be a shit parent
• They cost too much
• I won't have enough time
• Blah blah blah

A lot of you would be great parents, but you just don't know it. Once the hormones start kicking women become mothers and when the bonds start happening guys become fathers. There ain't a "best time" to have kids, my mom was right about that. It's always too early or in the way.
But change your attitude towards parenthood as that is the most important part of it. If you gonna bitch and moan how the kids are the core of your problem then you've got bigger issues than thinking you would be a shitty parent...
Changing the "me, me, me, me!" attitude towards a more giving one was a milestone for me and a most satysfying one at that

I have 2, they are great, even when they are bad they are great. It is a lot of work, but they are worth it. Best thing you will ever do is get married and raise children into responsible adults.

There is no joy like the joy of you child telling you they love you, or hugging you, or leaning on you.

Our son can't talk yet, but he always comes around and hugs. He currently has a phase where only my wife can put him to sleep. If i take him to his room it's all hell loose with screams and fits of anger. I thought i was doing something wrong but it turns out he just doesn't want to go to sleep with me. But every evening he hugs me and waves his hand. So he i's telling me i'm cool and all, but mom's just better dad.

I would have said hell no in my 20s and even early 30s. Then I warmed up to the idea and now have a 5-month-old son. He's awesome. Yeah, I don't have as much time to game, but I also know people whose kids are a little older who have plenty of time to do whatever. Or they game with them and share their hobbies with them. It's just all about time management and prioritization.

That said, I'm struggling with the idea of having another one. I don't want him to be an only child but having just one kid is also pretty easy.

Time for everything will come back. We have a 1.5 year old now and we have time for our own activities as well. He has a good sleeping pattern now, we get more rest in the night and when he sleeps we can do what we want, so now i can stsrt gaming again.

Had my first last February, right before shit hit the fan with Covid stuff.

To be honest I was 50/50, it was the quality of my relationship that made me say yes. She wanted a baby, we had the means and I thought she would be a great mum. So I wanted a baby with her.

And I love the little guy, he is cute as anything. All he wants to do is play and explore at this point. He laughs and smiles all day long. It is exhausting sometimes, but if you can settle into the new routines. The relationship becomes give and take with somebody having to be with the baby at any and all points. So far so great, but I'm aware it's a long ride and I'm at the extremely early stages. My outlook is all positive at the moment.

The bigger difficulty this year has been lockdowns. The baby has honestly been easy mode compared to the effects of Covid on general life. I'm in London, England for reference.

The playing and exploring part is the greatest and worst at the same time.
The "Yes parent, i want to do this, this, that, touch this and that, what is this,.give me, give me! No, don't stop me, i want that! O look a piece of trash!" attitude is the most tiring and you can't take your eyes away from him because he needs to know you are with him. And then he suddenly shifts to sitting on his ass and moving the same lego brick for 10 minutes in his hand without paying attention to you.

Have a 5 year old and one on the way. Greatest thing that’s ever happened to me and it’s not even close. You are missing out on a major part of life by opting out of children.

To each their own, but being a parent adds such a depth to life.

Yeah, it's like a New Game +, or a harder mode in Souls. Life stays the same, you just get a ton of extra quests, activities and story lines to explore.
More than your typical vanilla.day 1 player.

 

[German Hops]

Why are the M2F trans always unhinged?​

Cause that's what you get for chopping your balls of and trading male reason for female hysteria.

Here's the joke cause i like you dutch people. You can send me a portie bitterballen.

What?

 

[Doczu]

What?

Yeah, what is a good reaction why you dropping a PM in an open convo?

 

[highrider]

All the really smart people don’t want them. Dummies can’t have enough. It’s why society is fucked. If you can raise a kid, we need ya.

 

[Doczu]

All the really smart people don’t want them. Dummies can’t have enough. It’s why society is fucked. If you can raise a kid, we need ya.

No worries, gonna fight the demographics for you lazy people out there!

 

[Outlier]

I voted no, because I don't want "children". I want one SON.

I didn't want kids, for my first 30 years. Then I turned 30 and all of a sudden my mind is telling me I want a son (biological clock ticking).

I have all the selfish reasons to do it. Desires to raise and pass on my "legacy", to hopefully do better, than I have.
Do as much for him that my mother and father didn't, for me.

It's on my mind almost everyday. That my time is running out, to do this.

Problem is I'm gay, have no interest in dealing with a woman, and lack the funds/legal info to fashion a strict contract for surrogacy and sole custody.

Life sucks, man.

 

[Elektro Demon]

Nah. I can't imagine myself in that lifestyle. Kids, wife and all the troubles that come with it.
It's not worth it imo.

 

[Marcus Aurelius]

I voted no, because I don't want "children". I want one SON.

I didn't want kids, for my first 30 years. Then I turned 30 and all of a sudden my mind is telling me I want a son (biological clock ticking).

I have all the selfish reasons to do it. Desires to raise and pass on my "legacy", to hopefully do better, than I have.
Do as much for him that my mother and father didn't, for me.

It's on my mind almost everyday. That my time is running out, to do this.

Problem is I'm gay, have no interest in dealing with a woman, and lack the funds/legal info to fashion a strict contract for surrogacy and sole custody.

Life sucks, man.

Since you're a man you still have some time left man. Enough men who are even in their 50's and having kids.

 

[gela94]

Cry about it to your android caretaker when you're old and decrepit.

Many people have to choose between stability and whatever society tells them they should be doing in life.

I'm sorry I triggered you

 

[gela94]

I would love to have been able to have children, but I was born infertile. It wasn't meant for me, and I've made peace with that. Having four beautiful and precious nieces and nephews certainly helps.

My best friend and I completed foster care training together, but that was a few years before my gender transition. Being in Tennessee, I doubt I'm eligible for fostering these days, but my heart goes out for those poor kids.

The requirements for foster parents are crazy here in germany and there is also an age limit (35 if you want a baby), my friend who amplied has to jump through all kind of hoops and corona is exactly helping eithter. You would think it's easier getting children out of troubled homes or orphanages, I mean I understand that they have to be careful bust still...

 

[Doczu]

The requirements for foster parents are crazy here in germany and there is also an age limit (35 if you want a baby), my friend who amplied has to jump through all kind of hoops and corona is exactly helping eithter. You would think it's easier getting children out of troubled homes or orphanages, I mean I understand that they have to be careful bust still...

It looka like the adoption laws are crazy in general in Europe.
In Poland they do a thorough background check, income check and they check accomodation possibilities.
I get it, some kind of control and check is needed, but to deny someone having a kid because their income isn't high enough or the kid would have to live in a room with his sibling. Shit makes my furious.

 

[INC]

I did, but my wife and I cant, so thats that really

At least I'm free from responsibilities

Most people have kids because of the fear of dying alone anyway

 

[A Elbereth Gilthoniel]

Not yet but I want a small army if possible.

 

[RJMacready73]

I would love to have been able to have children, but I was born infertile. It wasn't meant for me, and I've made peace with that. Having four beautiful and precious nieces and nephews certainly helps.

My best friend and I completed foster care training together, but that was a few years before my gender transition. Being in Tennessee, I doubt I'm eligible for fostering these days, but my heart goes out for those poor kids.

I don't get why certain countries/states or whatever can deny a foster kid a loving home simply cause the people who'll be raising the kid don't fit the 1900's fucking Christian narrative of what a perfect family should comprise off, a child doesn't need a biological mum and dad, it simply needs, safety, security and above all else love and that can come from any decent human being.

 

[RJMacready73]

Not yet but I want a small army if possible.

haha i always thought that then the sheer exhaustion of raising 2 made me realize id sooner cut my dick off than risk a 3rd, but i always tip my hat to those parents pushing 4 wee fuckers around... that's hard, expensive work.

 

[A Elbereth Gilthoniel]

haha i always thought that then the sheer exhaustion of raising 2 made me realize id sooner cut my dick off than risk a 3rd, but i always tip my hat to those parents pushing 4 wee fuckers around... that's hard, expensive work.

I've come up with a system whereby each child shall raise their younger sibling, and so forth. I figure I can relax once the first kid can change a nappy and turn on the stove.

 

[AJUMP23]

All the really smart people don’t want them. Dummies can’t have enough. It’s why society is fucked. If you can raise a kid, we need ya.

Smart people hate having children, that is a take. A better more reasoned argument is that affluent/intelligent people tend to be planners and more practical, while the others are driven by more of their base instincts and emotions. Affluency will normally lead to 2 children. Idiocracy isn't reality, it is a movie. My wife and I are both well educated and intelligent, we have 2 as do most of the people we are friends with.

 

[Julius Ibidus]

Most people have kids because of the fear of dying alone anyway

there is truth to this. there is also truth that a child, grown to adulthood, can take part in the extremely rewarding experience of helping their parent during the most difficult time of the parent's life (the end). a kind of 'thank you' to that person who gave so much of themselves to make you (the child) what they are today. it's a mutual experience, something i think is not so much born out of selfishness but shared love. just my 2 cents.

 

[Valonquar]

 

[RJMacready73]

I did, but my wife and I cant, so thats that really

At least I'm free from responsibilities

Most people have kids because of the fear of dying alone anyway

m8 that's a crock o shit tbf, most people have kids cause they've done their partying, they're in a stable relationship, financially secure and want to move on with the next chapter in their lives, for some that means seeing more of the world and enjoying their hobbies and for others it means having kids. Nobody is thinking ahead to when they're 80/90y.o. and wondering whose gonna wipe my arse and if you do spend time on that shit then a wee revaluation is required.

For me personally i wanted kids cause i had an amazing upbringing, child of the late 70's/80's with great parents, as above i was ready to move onto the next stage and i wanted to have a couple kids and give them the sorta life i had, at no point did i ever think i dont want to die alone, life is a loooooong ass road and curve balls come flying in and out of it, you say that both of you cant have a biological kid but that doesn't stop you from adoption or fostering which are equally as fulfilling, kids have a habit of getting into your heart, they dont need to have the same blood pumping through it...

 

[regawdless]

The requirements for foster parents are crazy here in germany and there is also an age limit (35 if you want a baby), my friend who amplied has to jump through all kind of hoops and corona is exactly helping eithter. You would think it's easier getting children out of troubled homes or orphanages, I mean I understand that they have to be careful bust still...

The regulations are in place to ensure that kids out of troubled circumstances will get into the hands of good and caring parents. To avoid having to take them out of that family again.

Because adopted children are often traumatized, from mothers who took drugs/drank/smoked during the pregnancy, there being many unknown factors etc. So raising these kids tend to be (generally, not always of course) an additional challenge. German government will make sure that these parents are aware of this and prepared.

I think there's value in it. At least it's better than increasing the risk of kids getting into the wrong hands.

We started that process but decided not to do it in the end.

 

[INC]

m8 that's a crock o shit tbf, most people have kids cause they've done their partying, they're in a stable relationship, financially secure and want to move on with the next chapter in their lives, for some that means seeing more of the world and enjoying their hobbies and for others it means having kids. Nobody is thinking ahead to when they're 80/90y.o. and wondering whose gonna wipe my arse and if you do spend time on that shit then a wee revaluation is required.

For me personally i wanted kids cause i had an amazing upbringing, child of the late 70's/80's with great parents, as above i was ready to move onto the next stage and i wanted to have a couple kids and give them the sorta life i had, at no point did i ever think i dont want to die alone, life is a loooooong ass road and curve balls come flying in and out of it, you say that both of you cant have a biological kid but that doesn't stop you from adoption or fostering which are equally as fulfilling, kids have a habit of getting into your heart, they dont need to have the same blood pumping through it...

I considered fostering, so at least i know some kids will always have somewhere to go, or someone they can call, no matter what

I wouldnt adopt, you'll always be second best, and I've seen what arsehole parents who handed their kids off and return after 18yrs can do, no thanks. Thats pretty selfish too I know.

we'll stick to having dogs, more money. My wife I feel for tho, since I can go off an have kids if I really wanted, but thats not how I roll. After a few attempts at IVF I wouldn't want aputnher through it, its soul destroying

 

[SnipeyMcGee]

I can't stand children. I've had a vasectomy to ensure that I will never have to be burdened by them.

 

[Amory]

Definitely. I'm at a point in my life where living just for myself isn't fulfilling anymore. I'm looking forward to the new responsibilities and structure of parenthood, and getting to see my children grow and learn and experience things for the first time the way I once did.

 

[Animagic]

Not yet but I want a small army if possible.

Start a highlander clan!

 

[Synless]

I have two boys and one more boy on the way. I admittedly and a selfish person with my time and my finances so I thought I would hate being a dad. However nothing, and I mean nothing, makes me more proud watching them succeed with the coaching I give them and their insane growth as people. No amount of the small shit that comes with kids outweighs that.

 

[Fbh]

I honestly don't know.
I tend to find kids annoying, and the idea of spending many years focusing on raising kids isn't something particularly appealing to me.
Like I look at my sister (who has 2) and the constant lack of sleep, tantrums, noise, need for attention 24/7, etc and it doesn't look like something I want for myself.

But then again, lots of people have told me they felt exactly the same before becoming parents but it's completely different when it's actually your own kids.

For now being an uncle is fun enough. You get to visit them, play with them, introduce them to things you like (we've been watching some OG power rangers), but then when they start getting annoying it's like "oh you go to your mommy"

 

[INC]

I have two boys and one more boy on the way. I admittedly and a selfish person with my time and my finances so I thought I would hate being a dad. However nothing, and I mean nothing, makes me more proud watching them succeed with the coaching I give them and their insane growth as people. No amount of the small shit that comes with kids outweighs that.

This is my only big regret, to not encourage and seeing a child grow. To push knowledge i wish I had growing up, and mold them to their own skillset. I had a fantastic upbringing no doubt,but was never encouraged much, a lot of that was me tbh, but wish I'd been pushed to follow my own personal skill set, my parents were old school tho, leave school get a boring job and pay tax, forget creative shit. Now thats not a bad thing, I'm stable now, but feel like I wasted my best years.

So yeh I can see how this would be massively rewarding.

 

[Jezbollah]

I'm 44, and I consider myself too old to have children. Felt like that since my late 30s to be honest. I just don't want to put anyone in the position where they're just turning 15 and having to bury their own father.

I'm very lucky though, I have an amazing niece, who is smart as fuck, and has a savage sense of humour. My best friend also has two teenagers and a daughter who just turned 21. I have enjoyed being basically an uncle to all of them, watching them grow up, being there and had all the best parts of defacto fatherhood without all the shit stuff, basically. Means I can just carry on with all that extra income

I feel like I have the best of both worlds, and I'm so, so, fortunate.

 

[regawdless]

Most people have kids because of the fear of dying alone anyway

Don't think so, actually.

Speaking for me, I'm done with only wanting to serve my own needs and pleasures. Because it doesn't give me enough satisfaction anymore. Same with my job. I can get fired at any moment, the company will move on and forget you. I don't think that anybody in their last moments of life havs ever said "damn, I should've worked more".

I'll be dust sooner than I want to, consuming new stuff and trying to entertain myself got old. Having kids was the logical next level.
My wife and I fucking created life. Raising kids, taking responsibility and trying to shape them into good human beings is pretty amazing. Seeing how they interact with you, learn from you and challenge you is something special.
I've changed so much and improved as a person.

I'm btw not saying that everyone should have kids. I know some parents who got kids only because everyone around them did. And they are annoyed by their kids, creating little assholes with their behavior. They see their kids as a limiting factor, preventing them from living "their" life.

It's tiring, takes a lot of energy and changes the life forever. So it's not for everyone. I see kids as an addition though, happy to integrate them into my life and dedicate myself to them.

Edit: and btw I always got annoyed by kids. Like, really annoyed. These little fuckers. But always knew that I would love my own, and am now liking other kids as well. Mostly.

 

[Nester99]

I can't stand children. I've had a vasectomy to ensure that I will never have to be burdened by them.

User name checks out.

 

[K' Dash]

I didn't want kids, my wife didn't either. After having long conversations about it we decided it was not for us and I scheduled a vasectomy... A few weeks later we got pregnant.

I mean, we have more than enough money. I'm 37, the wife is 35, so we think we're in a pretty good position to be parents, she's 6 months pregnant now.

At first I was really shocked and scared, then I was really excited, but now... I can't wait to meet my baby girl, I didn't know I could love anyone this much, it's an amazing experience.

All in all, I'm really happy that I could experience this at this age, I traveled, partied and found my soul mate, did everything I wanted to do and now I'm going to be a dad

 

[regawdless]

I didn't want kids, my wife didn't either. After having long conversations about it we decided it was not for us and I scheduled a vasectomy... A few weeks later we got pregnant.

I mean, we have more than enough money. I'm 37, the wife is 35, so we think we're in a pretty good position to be parents, she's 6 months pregnant now.

At first I was really shocked and scared, then I was really excited, but now... I can't wait to meet my baby girl, I didn't know I could love anyone this much, it's an amazing experience.

All in all, I'm really happy that I could experience this at this age, I traveled, partied and found my soul mate, did everything I wanted to do and now I'm going to be a dad

Congrats! The half year will be pretty hard, but it'll get a lot better and easier. Once she starts to really interact with you, the real fun begins.

If you take your time and give her enough attention, you'll be her hero.

 

[Mossybrew]

Most people have kids because of the fear of dying alone anyway

This comment was just in some other thread recently, and it's one of those saying people parrot with zero thought and it's complete BS. NOBODY makes the huge decision of having kids because they are thinking about being on their deathbed and wanting someone to hold their hand while they croak. Nobody. There are lots of reasons people decide to have kids but I guarantee this ain't one of them.

 

[INC]

This comment was just in some other thread recently, and it's one of those saying people parrot with zero thought and it's complete BS. NOBODY makes the huge decision of having kids because they are thinking about being on their deathbed and wanting someone to hold their hand while they croak. Nobody. There are lots of reasons people decide to have kids but I guarantee this ain't one of them.

you under estimate people, some people have kids to sell them or use them for other horrid shit

you have kids to carry on your bloodline at the end of the day, thats a selfish concept on its own, since you wont be there to see it long term

honestly its an off the cuff remark, to hide some of my own bitterness that i cant have kids. just let me have this one lol

 

[Nester99]

you have kids to carry on your bloodline at the end of the day, thats a selfish concept on its own, since you wont be there to see it .

Dumb take.

 

[Mossybrew]

honestly its an off the cuff remark, to hide some of my own bitterness that i cant have kids. just let me have this one lol

Ah, sorry. Take all the Forum Points you need!

 

[HawksWinStanley]

there is truth to this. there is also truth that a child, grown to adulthood, can take part in the extremely rewarding experience of helping their parent during the most difficult time of the parent's life (the end). a kind of 'thank you' to that person who gave so much of themselves to make you (the child) what they are today. it's a mutual experience, something i think is not so much born out of selfishness but shared love. just my 2 cents.

As a dad of two I've gotta say this is the last thing I want. I don't want to be a burden on my kids. I want them to remember me at my best and to benefit from whatever I leave behind for them. It's my responsibility to save and plan appropriately for my own retirement and possibly my care/living situation when I'm elderly. And once it's clear my time is coming just end it and toss my body in the trash or donate it to science. Don't waste your money on a funeral or burial. Have a party where everybody passes around old scrapbooks and tells stories about me, the good and the bad.

 

[INC]

Dumb take.

yeh nature is dumb lol

 

[DESTROYA]

Of course have the fun is making them