I didn't 😭 No Tim Hortons either. I was counting on that being at the airport there, I thought Tim Horton was everywhere.
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Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
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I didn't 😭 No Tim Hortons either. I was counting on that being at the airport there, I thought Tim Horton was everywhere.
Moff
Member
second date is perfect for a kiss, third one at the very latest.
it's very important that you make your intentions clear, even is she is not ready to kiss you, yet and moves away, it will be fine, act cool
women will forgive a man, but they won't forgive a wimp
do it
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Y'all should have a read of Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari. It is really good and I think many of you will be able to relate to it.
Nastrodamous
Member
physically attracted too?
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
It is a waste of time, but there is certainly an argument to be said that you should give people a try.
Pasta_Soup
Member
I've been on first dates with women I didn't initially think were "super attractive" physically, and once we started talking and getting to know each other, a strong attraction developed.
If you have any interest in them at all, you should just try it. Drinks or a coffee date aren't really much of a time investment. Worst case scenario it doesn't work out and you've earned yourself some experience.
There's definitely a Timmy's there...had some there last time I was at YVR.
Poutine? Or did you manage to miss out on all Canadian junk food?
demosthenes
Member
kopitarrulez_11
Member
That's was mint hahahaha
User 479360
Banned
iRAWRasaurus
Banned
Hey I could use some advice What are some good conversion tips for online dating? This girl sent me 2 messages yesterday and I replied earlier today. However I feel kinda lost on what to say now any advice or tips?
What are some good conversion tips for online dating? This girl sent me 2 messages yesterday and I replied earlier today. However I feel kinda lost on what to say now any advice or tips?So, um, I was gonna hang out with some girl and decided to trim my junk the night before just in case. But then I decided to shave it instead because fuck it. I've never done it before. Now I have these bumps all over it. I'm guessing razor bumps and/or ingrown hairs. It looks nasty. Wtf do I do? We hung out but didn't do anything thankfully but I see her again Friday. How do I get rid of this shit? It's freaking me out.
Hey I could use some advice
Hope you mean conversation.
Just depends what the conversation is about how can we tell you what to say after her two messages and your one, without knowing the content of those messages. As always though it should be conversation about meeting in person, setting up a date. Small talk can happen when you meet.
There's definitely a Timmy's there...had some there last time I was at YVR.
Poutine? Or did you manage to miss out on all Canadian junk food?
Had poutine, it sucked so bad.
Inside the international terminal there was no Timmy! Maybe domestic? I'll come back to Canada someday and try it I guess.
ZackieChan
Member
Hey I could use some advice
Get to an in-person meet asap. Don't have a "conversation" over messages.
You had bad poutine then. It should both clog your arteries and be delicious.
I'm pretty sure I was in international last time I had Timmy's.
iRAWRasaurus
Banned
haha yeah, I typed that as I was playing Division with a friend
Gotcha thanks. Yeah thats true.
Whats the best way to get around to doing that? Just ask straight up if she want to grab a coffee sometimes?
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
haha yeah, I typed that as I was playing Division with a friend
Yeah thats true.
Whats the best way to get around to doing that? Just ask straight up if she want to grab a coffee sometimes?
Yes, being direct is best. Ask her for a drink on a weeknight.
Why?
Do you expect her to be exclusive to you after two dates, which were months apart? C'mon, dude.
Even if she is not "the one" you really need to get more experience and get out of your shell more, and this girl seems to be receptive to that. You are not going to move forward in a positive fashion if you continue to go out of your way to find something to check off on your laundry list of possible faults, real or imagined. This sort of thing is common in online dating, but the harsh truth is that there's not likely to be that "perfect" person out there for you where fireworks will go off and your heart will flutter the millisecond you meet them, that sort of thing is really more of a myth perpetuated by romcoms and the like.
She may be "playing the field" because you have shown very little initiative towards her, so she may feel like you are not into her. If you go on another date and initiate contact, that will show her that you like her and would like to move the relationship along, instead of doing something like point-blank asking her to be your girlfriend.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Why the hell would you ever date someone you're not attracted to?
n64coder
Member
Had poutine the first time last month at Mont Tremblant at Smokes Poutinerie. This was called "Gloutonne". Pulled pork, bacon, and sausage, fries, curds, and gravy. Very good. Fortunately there was 4 of us sharing it.
backflip10019
Member
Hey I could use some advice
ABC: Always Be Closing, brah.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
You had bad poutine then. It should both clog your arteries and be delicious.
I'm pretty sure I was in international last time I had Timmy's.
Can attest to the Timmy's at International departures. Maybe you didn't go down far enough? There's also a Burger King.
Funny story: I flew to New York, took the subway from JFK, and when I got off to transfer to another train, there was a Tim Horton's right there.
ZackieChan
Member
ABC: Always Be Closing, brah.
The GOAT
Had poutine the first time last month at Mont Tremblant at Smokes Poutinerie. This was called "Gloutonne". Pulled pork, bacon, and sausage, fries, curds, and gravy. Very good. Fortunately there was 4 of us sharing it.
That looks revolting. You gotta take better food pics, man. I'm sure it tasted good, though.
I had great poutine at Franks in Austin, TX. And Vern and I had awful poutine in Beijing.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
What should I think about this.
Been on two dates. We hit it off pretty well. She told me before hand (before the first date) she wasn't really feeling like getting into a relationship, but she thought I was cool. We text and snap every once in a while, and it's always dope too.
But if I don't initiate contact, she will just not talk to me. It's really weird. It went three days before I hit her back up.
Been on two dates. We hit it off pretty well. She told me before hand (before the first date) she wasn't really feeling like getting into a relationship, but she thought I was cool. We text and snap every once in a while, and it's always dope too.
But if I don't initiate contact, she will just not talk to me. It's really weird. It went three days before I hit her back up.
Miles Quaritch
Member
There's the reason. She's not imitating contact because she doesn't want to give the wrong impression and is maintaining a level of detachment.
Or she just doesn't like initiating, but I'm leaning toward the former...
Lone_Prodigy
Member
I don't know why it has to be a game of chicken. "If she's not going to initiate then I'm not." If you've been on two dates and feel there's chemistry, set up a third. If she says no, you'll have your answer.
I didn't even remember this! Now I do, thanks for that 😑
I looked everywhere, I even looked on the little map thing. No Tim hortons was listed. Oh well it doesn't matter, not a big donut guy anyway. And it'll be there when I go back to Canada some day I'm sure of it.
iRAWRasaurus
Banned
Hey guys, I followed the advice about being direct, I got her number and we are going to get lunch tomorrow. Any suggestions for conversation and small talk?
ha I am guessing you mean I should be the one to end the chat?ABC: Always Be Closing, brah.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Nvm, I'm stupid
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
+1 for this. Talk to her like you would any other human being. Avoid excessive small talk. (You should avoid excessive small talk with everyone.) Don't treat it like an interview. But do look directly at her. Listen attentively. Don't interrupt her to offer commentary or one-up her. Your job isn't to quiz each other on trivia. If it's nice out, take a walk after lunch. If you actually like her (because you haven't met her yet, you have no idea), then touch her arm. If you like her, feel free to say, at the end of the date, "I like you and I want to take you out again." Don't fall into the texting game.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Went for it and asked the Asian qt to go on a coffee date with me. I hope for the best.
God of Gamblers
Banned
During high school I experienced what it was like to love someone. The feeling felt great. Thing is I really haven't had that feeling for quite a few years now. To be honest I haven't actively been trying to find a relationship. Is there something wrong with me, can I rekindle that feeling?
Back in high school I'd see a girl and would get that nervous feeling. Also a feeling of not trying to screw up in front of the, But now even if I am talking to a hot girl I don't feel anything inside. Was that feeling to do with my puberty period, am I doomed to never experience that feeling again?
Back in high school I'd see a girl and would get that nervous feeling. Also a feeling of not trying to screw up in front of the, But now even if I am talking to a hot girl I don't feel anything inside. Was that feeling to do with my puberty period, am I doomed to never experience that feeling again?
Good grief..
Don't call her "Asian qt" and your chances will dramatically improve.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
There are 5(!) at the airport.
It hasn't been the same since all their stuff became prepackaged and frozen, so you aren't missing out on much.
User 479360
Banned
I wouldn't say no if she asked me out again, but I don't think I want to pester her. It took her this long to respond to me, and she's still dealing with a lot of mental stuff (she's not alone, as I do, too, but she says things have been hard). She doesn't seem to know what she wants, and I don't want to be messed with.
She doesn't seem incredibly interested, and just said she's playing the field, so we'll see.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Wtf man you need to sort out your attitude. I can imagine anyone you date with smell the desperation on you. I don't mean to be rude but you need to get your head in the right place.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
I think I do a good job (I hope) of not seeming desperate IRL. I only express those thoughts on the internet, honestly.
ZackieChan
Member
At some point you're gonna have to fly, little bird, and make your own mistakes. Just talk about her and see if you have stuff in common. If so, go from there. If not, ask genuine questions about things she's interested in.
Why do you wait for HER to ask YOU out again? Tell her you had a great time last time and want to meet her for another date tomorrow for dinner (or whenever you are free). Then you'll have your answer if she wants to go out again. Problem solved.
Regardless, keep swiping/messaging/bumbling/whatever and finding other ladies to go out with.
If you're so desperate that you get sad from watching porn, you're subconsciously giving off desperate vibes IRL. You should consider seeing a therapist.
That sounds like your depression talking. You're coming up with reasons why it will fail to convince yourself that trying isn't worth it. Do you want to go out with her again? If the answer is "yes", ask her out. If she yes or no, you can move on from whereever you're at now.
Oh, and with online dating comes the understanding that everyone you meet will be playing the field. You're not exclusive until you are.
User 479360
Banned
I just feel that if she was actually interested, or cared enough about me, she wouldn't have been mostly silent for a week and would have said more than she did.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
I already see a CBT therapist. And I wish I hadn't typed all that out, that was a mistake, and now I feel stupid, especially since I've been quoted.
If I'm remembering properly, you only sent about 2-3 more messages over the same time period. She could be thinking the same thing about you.
If you want to know if she's interested or cares about you, ask her out. A willingness to date (or continue dating) is a much better indication of interest than text messaging habits.
You're not stupid. Your way of thinking just isn't healthy. I do hope you talk about this kind of stuff with your therapist, and that you'll listen to their advice.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
You went on two dates. You sent a handful of messages. In fact, taken objectively, it could be viewed that you were effectively ghosting her. Interest, sometimes, is chemical and obvious. Apparently, you had it: she asked to kiss you and she took you out for a date. But in every case, interest isn't some organic, separate thing that grows; it must be cultivated. You can't ignore someone for a week and, at the end of that week, expect her to somehow want you more.
I'm going to be blunt, and this thread proves it: there's a reason why those of us who are older (e.g., me, Zackie, NeoGAF's vern, and anyone who's married) "do" better -- and believe me, I was an absolute trainwreck in college. It's because we communicate what we want, we're direct about it, and if the other person's got diverging views, we wish them well and move on.
And we're not fucking hung up over text messages.
But this is a skill. It's actually a rather easy one that's generally applicable throughout life, so if you learn it now, you'll undoubtedly be ahead of the game way before we were.
This, honestly, is the initial stages of dating in a nutshell: If you want something, ask for it. If you're told yes, put aside other thoughts* and enjoy it. If you're told no, accept it and move on.
*Including anxiety, neuroses, and comparisons between yourself and other people. This is harder than it sounds. Remember that if someone's with you, they want to be with you, and derive happiness from it.
User 479360
Banned
Yeah, I did send just a few messages. I texted her when she got home, to ask if she got home okay, then thanked her for a good date/said she looked nice. Then, I texted her the next day to see how her day was, and got a short reply.
She didn't respond when I said, "When can I see you again?" Then sent me a message on Easter saying Happy Easter, and a message yesterday. We talked a bit, she told me she was having a hard time and I tried to help. Then I asked about the dating.
She didn't respond when I said, "When can I see you again?" Then sent me a message on Easter saying Happy Easter, and a message yesterday. We talked a bit, she told me she was having a hard time and I tried to help. Then I asked about the dating.
n64coder
Member
That's being wishy washy. Be assertive and tell her that you want to take her to X on Saturday night and see how she responds. If she is interested you, she'll say yes or offer another day/time that works for you.
I need to ask the mods for a name change. NeoGAF's vern has a nice ring to it 😎
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