How the hell can we have so many smelly pussy stories??? I've never ever met one smelly pussy in my life. They all smell very clean... Maybe because I've only been with Asian ladies in my whole life?
I also assumed that Asian women may be 'cleaner' and not be affected by the stank demon. WRONG.
There's an app called MoMo in China that's used mainly for random hookups and for 18 year old girls to post titillating selfies and bask in the adoration of random horny dorks. Anyhow, I installed it and uploaded a few pics and forgot about it.
One night I got a message from a 26 year old Chinese girl and her photos were amazing. She looked like a K-pop star - seriously. I was honest and sent her my most unflattering photo and told her I'm 41 and overweight (110kg). She was still keen so wtf, right?
There were actually 2 lessons learned in this ordeal.
The first (and one that has stayed with me) is that makeup is EVIL and is miraculous and fucking unfair. I met this girl at the local Starbucks and she looked totally different to the photos on MoMo. It was definitely her, but without the makeup and the mySpace angle she looked 15 years older and about 30 pounds heavier.
I know it's rude to be judgmental, especially when I am no movie star myself. But the difference between the photos online and the reality was remarkable.
Anyhow... It had been a while between shags and she seemed keen, so I asked her back to my pad after an awkward Chinglish conversation where she avoided eye contact and gave weak replied to any of my questions.
We got home and watched some dreadful TV show about two girls who run a cupcake shop or some shit. Eventually she started to yawn and look bored, so I thought this was a no-show and suggested that I call a taxi to take her home. This motivated her to brighten up a little, and we started making out.
This part was actually pretty good, and I should have stopped at first base and chalked it up to experience.
After a while things got more heated and we moved to the bed for round two. This is where I learned lesson 2: Asian girls can smell bad too. In fact, this girl had the worst odor that I have ever encountered.
I was actually fingering her and noticed it was pretty wet down there, and she was pretty into it, so i raised my fingers to our mouth area to taste her - and that's where things went bad.
The stench was overpowering. I've never encountered
anything like it! It was sour, cheesey, fishy and had a strong base of fresh shit.
I grew up on a cattle farm and have encountered some pretty nasty smells. Rotting animals, dung of all types, even a corpse (long story) but this smell was easily the worst. FFS.. I used to work in a pathology lab, where we prepared fecal tests for the scientist team by scraping pea sized lumps of shit onto petri dishes - but that was nothing on this stank.
My immediate reaction was to recoil in horror, but I stopped myself because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. At first I thought it was a mistake of some kind, so after kissing her some more I slowly ventured south and there was no mistake - that pungent stench was coming from her vag.
Needless to say, I couldn't finish and made some lame excuse about having to work early the next day, and we could meet again a few days later if she wanted to. Ughh.. fucking hell - even now I can remember the smell like it was yesterday.
Thankfully, she didn't make contact again. Bullet dodged and lesson learned.
A few months later I met an 18 year old chubby Chinese girl that was super horny and into older guys, and when I took off her panties there was tiny wadded up bits of toilet paper all over her wet vag. Shit was disgusting and I couldn't finish (again).
Maybe it's just Chinese girls? I've been with Thai, Filipino, Taiwanese, Cambodian and Singaporean girls and they were all virtually odorless.. Weird.