tkscz
Member
There is a term for that condition. One of the girls I mentioned in my previous post has it. She is also into BDSM (of which I do not participate) so she enjoys the pain. Though she has told me that sometimes it's extremely painful.
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Worst sex you've ever had?
- Thread starter MrOogieBoogie
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There is a term for that condition. One of the girls I mentioned in my previous post has it. She is also into BDSM (of which I do not participate) so she enjoys the pain. Though she has told me that sometimes it's extremely painful.
Arkos
Nose how to spell and rede to
I had a girl use her nails once. Ladies: do this with restraint, it's only sexy up to a certain point.
Oh my God, pet peeve. Or the whole lip-biting thing. Fuck. I hate it when girls bite lips but have ZERO sense of how hard they're biting. Nothing kills wood faster.
mullet2000
Member
Oh god, that reminds me.
I once was fooling around and making out with a reallllll biter who yeah, clearly had no idea how hard she was biting. She'd bite my lip pretty damn hard like...every 10 seconds. And it hurt. However I was young and didn't want to upset her by telling her to stop.
Anyway, this was all in the dark and once we were done I went back home I went to the bathroom, turned on the light, and man....my lower lip was as red as uncooked steak, and there was torn skin all over it. It looked like I'd gotten a bad burn on my lip or something, ugh.
BlackNMild2k1
Member
I know this all too well, ex girl would claw the absolute shit out of me to the point where I would start to lose the erection as I'm m wincing in pain.
The next day, or next time we'd get into bed, she would ask "who were you with that scratched you up like this" in reference to the scars and scabs forming on my back, chest and shoulders. That only happened twice before I just realized that she had no constraint with her nails and that she just was not allowed to scratch anymore.
haa this thread is awesome 
so many funny/interesting stories
other than that HIV scare story tho...my prayers are with you guys and hope you get good news regarding the diagnosis
my worst one isn't really an interesting story I guess. It was a day I was extremely tired. I believe I was running on about 3-4 hours of sleep and had exams, work or some other similar combination. I just wanted to lie down for a bit because I was that tired. But the gf had other ideas. I told her that we should wait till later, because I wasn't in the mood or in a good condition. For some fking reason she took this as a 'challenge!'
When I lied down on the bed to take a nap she came over, got undressed and started fooling around. I was still not in the mood, but nope she didn't care. She started to give me a bj at some point and I kid you not, far from getting turned on, it made me relax even more! lol I have no idea why. Then after about 5mins I fell asleep while she was blowing me. She got so damn angry too like I insulted her or something. I felt kinda felt bad. She's actually good at BJ/HJ's too. Took a few days until she got over the whole thing
so many funny/interesting storiesother than that HIV scare story tho...my prayers are with you guys and hope you get good news regarding the diagnosis
my worst one isn't really an interesting story I guess. It was a day I was extremely tired. I believe I was running on about 3-4 hours of sleep and had exams, work or some other similar combination. I just wanted to lie down for a bit because I was that tired. But the gf had other ideas. I told her that we should wait till later, because I wasn't in the mood or in a good condition. For some fking reason she took this as a 'challenge!'
When I lied down on the bed to take a nap she came over, got undressed and started fooling around. I was still not in the mood, but nope she didn't care. She started to give me a bj at some point and I kid you not, far from getting turned on, it made me relax even more! lol I have no idea why. Then after about 5mins I fell asleep while she was blowing me. She got so damn angry too like I insulted her or something. I felt kinda felt bad. She's actually good at BJ/HJ's too. Took a few days until she got over the whole thing
All I am reading is how the women everybody is getting intimate with have a really smelly crotch area lol.
As a very hygienic person I feel badly for those of you that had to experience the smells of crotch.
That being said, all of the boyfriends I had always have an awful smell in that region, it smells like sweat/ball sack/ass/musk/moist unwashed flesh, I don't know if that is a normal smell for all or most men but god does it make me want to avoid that area.
Sex is almost always bad because of bad crotch smell.
As a very hygienic person I feel badly for those of you that had to experience the smells of crotch.
That being said, all of the boyfriends I had always have an awful smell in that region, it smells like sweat/ball sack/ass/musk/moist unwashed flesh, I don't know if that is a normal smell for all or most men but god does it make me want to avoid that area.
Sex is almost always bad because of bad crotch smell.
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
HappyBivouac
Member
Ball sweat is virtually unavoidable, not gonna lie, but a decent man should be able to keep it from getting totally rancid. I would hope they are at least washing thoroughly every day. I'm a firm believer in shower before sex. It's a good policy. Also I think I read something about a surge in testosterone leading up to sexual activity causes more odors in that region, but who knows if true.
I don't mind a slight bit of musk because the human body excretes odor and I know not everyone can smell like a mountain spring every minute of the day, but I am talking about horrendous anus smell and just a strong musk. They ALL had it!
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
I'd wager that women have sweat odor problems as much as men do. Although I just asked my girlfriend and she said I basically never have a bad smell. You can't really avoid sweat odor, but hygiene and health certainly affect the odor itself.
Then again these stories are more about rotting fish diarrhea smell than sweat.
Makes me wonder, aren't people supposed to shower before you fuck? Why do people miss out on such an elemental thing to do? God...
Yeah most of these are women clearly have vaginal issues, but some just say 'bad smell', like I said I can handle slight musk from the day because that usually accumulates no matter what gender you are, it is the ass/wet musk I can't handle.
Sometimes sex is spontaneous and if both people don't smell too bad it doesn't make a difference either way...that being said, I will always want to clean before sex if I have the option to do so. It is weird when the other person gets mad when you ask as if it was a chore! which has happened to me before and I was baffled, maybe it is an offensive thing to ask?
HappyBivouac
Member
If the female in question wants to get sexy "spontaneously" then I will generally take her by the hand to the shower, or something of that sort. You get to have a sexy shower together which has never failed me as good foreplay. Works out for everyone.
bigfunkychiken
Member
were pre-sex showers a thing for you guys in high school as well? I had no idea that the practice was so common.
demosthenes
Member
I always like to clean to, my girlfriend and I are pretty good about that.
Yep. Pretend it's foreplay, but I always propose a shower if I plan on tongue-punching the fart box.
I would think most people are, sex is pretty bacterial and can often cause UTI's or other infection, so cleaning before and after is smart.
BlackNMild2k1
Member
LOL. I just had a good ass laugh at that.
Sato Koiji
Member
Came to post this.
Yeah theres this charming girl I used to have an affair with that looks like she really handles her hygiene like a champ. She was just fresh. She must have had a shitty dayLOL! back then because that was outrageously bad. The windows and doors were closed as well so I was in the middle of that stench and she was ramming it...oh boy!
What about hair pulling... fuckkkkk... I hate that.
Never heard of the pre-sex shower before. Is it like when your already making out and the signs are there, you just stop and go take a shower? Then what do you do after? Take another shower?
I've DEFINITELY showered before when I thought there was a good chance, just to be sure.
I've DEFINITELY showered before when I thought there was a good chance, just to be sure.
Nooope hair pulling owns.
Also on the topic of showering, for me it was usually post-sex showering (followed by another round maybe). Never really did showering as foreplay, though I can see it being fun!
I can deal with stinky, sweaty, hair-pulling, nail scratching kind of sex (heat of the moment, who cares), but what I can't deal with is fake as hell moaning. I was having a drunken one night stand with this one girl who kept saying "YES! OH YES! SO GOOD! YOU'RE THE BEST" and it was a constant struggle to keep my erection. I've seen better acting in porn.
Featheredkitten
Banned
okay this thread started really moving again. Want to clear up a couple of things though, in regards to smelly vaginas and period sex.
First of all, dude that's kinda racist. Second: It's really not that common for women to have permanently smelly vaginas and does in fact suggest an infection....
but Shocker, women sweat too, you know your nuts smell after a long day, you think women are different? No, we sweat and sometimes that makes it smelly. Additionally, a cause can be overly dry vagina, since some women over clean their crotches because men are all: Ohhh nooo it has smell, let me bail and freak out because genitals have the slightest smell. No woman wants even the slightest smell because some guy she likes is going to freak out and describe it as "The worst smelling pussy I've ever smelled." And she unknowingly makes it worse by over cleaning and the cycle keeps going. :/
I don't want to pick on y'all two but this is a common thing. First of all, period sex isn't always going to be like massacring a lamb in your bed. The first couple of days, sure, but most women have light days near the end which you can have period sex and minimal, if any, fluid on your dick.
Besides, it's pretty much impossible to get her pregnant, and sex on your period eases most women's cramps. Put a towel down. For like, the first three days, ain't no thing.
Secondly, the fluid that comes out isn't blood, it's like, typically 1-6 tablespoons of blood over the whole period, the rest is different things no one wants to really read about. The amount of iron lost for most women is minor, women don't often need iron supplements, come on now. In fact I don't know ANY women (other than my nearly 60 year old mother and trust me, it's not cause she's bleeding) who even take iron supplements.
Back to awful sex stories!
First of all, dude that's kinda racist. Second: It's really not that common for women to have permanently smelly vaginas and does in fact suggest an infection....
but Shocker, women sweat too, you know your nuts smell after a long day, you think women are different? No, we sweat and sometimes that makes it smelly. Additionally, a cause can be overly dry vagina, since some women over clean their crotches because men are all: Ohhh nooo it has smell, let me bail and freak out because genitals have the slightest smell. No woman wants even the slightest smell because some guy she likes is going to freak out and describe it as "The worst smelling pussy I've ever smelled." And she unknowingly makes it worse by over cleaning and the cycle keeps going. :/
I don't want to pick on y'all two but this is a common thing. First of all, period sex isn't always going to be like massacring a lamb in your bed. The first couple of days, sure, but most women have light days near the end which you can have period sex and minimal, if any, fluid on your dick.
Besides, it's pretty much impossible to get her pregnant, and sex on your period eases most women's cramps. Put a towel down. For like, the first three days, ain't no thing.
Secondly, the fluid that comes out isn't blood, it's like, typically 1-6 tablespoons of blood over the whole period, the rest is different things no one wants to really read about. The amount of iron lost for most women is minor, women don't often need iron supplements, come on now. In fact I don't know ANY women (other than my nearly 60 year old mother and trust me, it's not cause she's bleeding) who even take iron supplements.
Back to awful sex stories!
Featheredkitten
Banned
One time me and my (ex)boyfriend met up with a couple we knew to have sex and she got really drunk. Right before I went down on her she got up to go puke. Oh and I was like...8 weeks pregnant? That was pretty awful.
Arkos
Nose how to spell and rede to
This story is bullshit and unfinished. How did she ever get to the second time?!
Might as well share my experience.
It happened with my ex boyfriend. He went down on me all the time when we were together, but this one incident was awful.
Dude was sucking too hard down there. I was really squirming away but he was adamant. Eventually I grabbed a pillow and buried my face in it to stop from screaming. And he had the nerve to ask me was he that good to make me scream like that. Mind you, I was the virgin at the time, he certainly wasn't and claimed to be a pro at it...
Let's just say when he finished, my lips were swollen. I had to put ice on it because I couldn't sleep that night with it being so uncomfortable.
Dude was awful in bed in every way possible but this incident still makes me laugh to this day lol
It happened with my ex boyfriend. He went down on me all the time when we were together, but this one incident was awful.
Dude was sucking too hard down there. I was really squirming away but he was adamant. Eventually I grabbed a pillow and buried my face in it to stop from screaming. And he had the nerve to ask me was he that good to make me scream like that. Mind you, I was the virgin at the time, he certainly wasn't and claimed to be a pro at it...
Let's just say when he finished, my lips were swollen. I had to put ice on it because I couldn't sleep that night with it being so uncomfortable.
Dude was awful in bed in every way possible but this incident still makes me laugh to this day lol
AlteredForms
Banned
Was she by any chance small or slim in stature?
DoktorEvil
Banned
I haven't had any really terribly bad sex stories, but I've had "meh" sex, where both of us just weren't at 100% and wasn't giving it all we got.
If you ask me, "meh" sex is pretty bad, but some people see it like pizza: pizza is still pizza, meh or not.
But these stories in the thread just make me appreciate not having truly terrible sex yet.
Especially the possible HIV story
Man, reading that was so heartwrenching...
If you ask me, "meh" sex is pretty bad, but some people see it like pizza: pizza is still pizza, meh or not.
But these stories in the thread just make me appreciate not having truly terrible sex yet.
Especially the possible HIV story
Man, reading that was so heartwrenching...
Arkos
Nose how to spell and rede to
That Wont Fit In There
Member
This thread is cray.
AlteredForms
Banned
I'm slightly confused. Why were your lips swollen when he instead was eating your *****?
That's what he did to them. He sucked on them too hard lol
EDIT: Sorry, probably should have clarified. But I did say he went down on me so I thought that would eliminate the confusion.
***** lips
Arkos
Nose how to spell and rede to
DoktorEvil
Banned
I've had the nails on the back. Was it really as bad as you say?
I never had it so bad to leave permanent marks, so once again not BAD sex, just "meh" sex.
She bit me and I asked her to stop biting me but try again. She kept going and biting me. Eventually she had to stop because it wasn't the greatest experience. The moral of the story is stop biting.
Featheredkitten
Banned
A part of me, everytime i hear stories of teeth + penis, thinks: Maybe she really really didn't want to give a blowjob? 'cause...who thinks teeth is EVER good near the D?
I also assumed that Asian women may be 'cleaner' and not be affected by the stank demon. WRONG.
There's an app called MoMo in China that's used mainly for random hookups and for 18 year old girls to post titillating selfies and bask in the adoration of random horny dorks. Anyhow, I installed it and uploaded a few pics and forgot about it.
One night I got a message from a 26 year old Chinese girl and her photos were amazing. She looked like a K-pop star - seriously. I was honest and sent her my most unflattering photo and told her I'm 41 and overweight (110kg). She was still keen so wtf, right?
There were actually 2 lessons learned in this ordeal.
The first (and one that has stayed with me) is that makeup is EVIL and is miraculous and fucking unfair. I met this girl at the local Starbucks and she looked totally different to the photos on MoMo. It was definitely her, but without the makeup and the mySpace angle she looked 15 years older and about 30 pounds heavier.
I know it's rude to be judgmental, especially when I am no movie star myself. But the difference between the photos online and the reality was remarkable.
Anyhow... It had been a while between shags and she seemed keen, so I asked her back to my pad after an awkward Chinglish conversation where she avoided eye contact and gave weak replied to any of my questions.
We got home and watched some dreadful TV show about two girls who run a cupcake shop or some shit. Eventually she started to yawn and look bored, so I thought this was a no-show and suggested that I call a taxi to take her home. This motivated her to brighten up a little, and we started making out.
This part was actually pretty good, and I should have stopped at first base and chalked it up to experience.
After a while things got more heated and we moved to the bed for round two. This is where I learned lesson 2: Asian girls can smell bad too. In fact, this girl had the worst odor that I have ever encountered.
I was actually fingering her and noticed it was pretty wet down there, and she was pretty into it, so i raised my fingers to our mouth area to taste her - and that's where things went bad.
The stench was overpowering. I've never encountered anything like it! It was sour, cheesey, fishy and had a strong base of fresh shit.
I grew up on a cattle farm and have encountered some pretty nasty smells. Rotting animals, dung of all types, even a corpse (long story) but this smell was easily the worst. FFS.. I used to work in a pathology lab, where we prepared fecal tests for the scientist team by scraping pea sized lumps of shit onto petri dishes - but that was nothing on this stank.
My immediate reaction was to recoil in horror, but I stopped myself because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. At first I thought it was a mistake of some kind, so after kissing her some more I slowly ventured south and there was no mistake - that pungent stench was coming from her vag.
Needless to say, I couldn't finish and made some lame excuse about having to work early the next day, and we could meet again a few days later if she wanted to. Ughh.. fucking hell - even now I can remember the smell like it was yesterday.
Thankfully, she didn't make contact again. Bullet dodged and lesson learned.
A few months later I met an 18 year old chubby Chinese girl that was super horny and into older guys, and when I took off her panties there was tiny wadded up bits of toilet paper all over her wet vag. Shit was disgusting and I couldn't finish (again).
Maybe it's just Chinese girls? I've been with Thai, Filipino, Taiwanese, Cambodian and Singaporean girls and they were all virtually odorless.. Weird.
dreamcastmaster
Banned
I've been with lots of Chinese girls, maybe only 2 were smelly down there. Also link to MoMo app please
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
you paint quite the disgusting story pubba.
Right now the worst I can think is when I have already got off and the girl keeps going, usually tap out haha.
Right now the worst I can think is when I have already got off and the girl keeps going, usually tap out haha.
I've been with lots of Chinese girls, maybe only 2 were smelly down there. Also link to MoMo app please
God speed!
It's hard to choose the worst sex I've ever had.. There are too many awful experiences to pick from.
1. Drunk 3some with a lesbian couple (one of them was bisexual and missed the d). It was fun till I shot my load, and then I sat in the corner feeling awkward while they 69ed for about 3 hours. Think it's awkward fucking a workmate? Try fucking one half of a lesbian couple that you LIVE with. Didn't end well..
2. Working as a night security guard on the railways. Started chatting to a cute African girl who was close 2nd to the worst vag I have ever smelled. Once her panties came off in the guardhouse, the whole place filled with an indescribable stench akin to a camel or livestock mixed with ass sweat and lemon juice. It almost made my eyes water.
3. Paid two cute girls at a beer garden in Bangkok to have a 3some with me. They were friends and seemed like fun girls in the bar. Kissing each other and grinding on me etc. As soon as I got to the hotel they became frigid and wouldn't even shower with me. When we actually got down to business they spent the entire time speaking a weird Thai dialect to each other and giggling, despite pulling out all my killer moves.
4. Soon after number 3, I went to a 3some bar and paid about $100 USD for two girls and a private porn movie style room (mirrored roof, rotating bed, porn movie muzak etc). Because I had a serious case of blue balls from my failed freelance 3some above, I climaxed in about 3 minutes and then had to stay in the room and get my 90 minutes worth. We ended up watching soccer on TV and eating peanuts.
5. Senior prom. My school had more guys than girls, so we had to take two girls with us. I was the new kid (started half way through the last year of high school) so got the two bush pigs. I kinda liked one but she ran off after the prom and ended up fucking 4 different guys from a nearby private boys school. I got left with a bikini moose that begrudgingly went home with me. We made out for about 6 hours but I couldn't bring myself to have full sex. I was still finding safety pins from her big stupid hairstyle weeks later.
AlteredForms
Banned
Ah, I was under the impression he was sucking on something else. Besides, I'm not an American, so you can understand my confusion.
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
The last couple of pages are positively terrifying.
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